A familiar ginger, a familiar voice, and a familiar blonde all come in here. ;)
Ladies and gentlemen, here's "Partners in Crime!"
***
A ginger woman walked down a busy street up to Adipose Industries, dressed in a suit, her heels clicking on the pavement as she walked up to the front entrance.
***
Heels were clicking again on a different street, but they were coming from cowboy boots. Another ginger, her hair in fishtail braids, snuck back into an alley, not bothering to check her surroundings before sneaking in.
***
Donna Noble checked in with a security guard and showed her ID. "Donna Noble, Health and Safety," she said before going into a lift.
***
The now ginger Apocalypse sonicked open the fire escape and slipped inside, taking her white cardigan off and slinging it over her arm. She fished in her pocket for her psychic paper as she walked down the basement, and she smiled brightly at a passing guard, showing her psychic paper. "Caly Saxon, Health and Safety," she said before going further on.
***
"Adipose Industries, the 21st century way to lose weight," Miss Foster was saying as Donna sat back to listen to her presentation. "No exercise, no diet, no pain. Just lifelong freedom from fat. The Holy Grail of the modern age, and here it is." She held up one of the Adipose pills. "You just take one capsule. One capsule once a day for three weeks, and the fat, as they say - "
"The fat just walks away," the film behind her said.
"Excuse me, Miss Foster, if I could?" one of the reporters asked, raising her hand. "I'm Penny Carter, science correspondent for The Observer. There are a thousand diet pills on the market, a thousand con men stealing people's money. How do we know the fat isn't going straight into your bank account?"
"Oh, Penny," Miss Foster sighed as Donna raised an eyebrow. "If cynicism burnt up calories, we'd all be as thin as rakes. But, if you want the science, I can oblige."
***
From the projection room, the Apocalypse leaned forward, watching the presentation go. "Adipose Industries. The Adipose capsule is composed of a synthesized mobilizing lipase, bound to a large protein molecule. The mobilizing lipase breaks up the triglycerides stored in the adipose cells, which then enter - "
The Apocalypse caught someone looking at her, and she held up her psychic paper. "Health and Safety," she said, then winced. "Film department," she added lamely.
***
"One hundred percent legal, one hundred percent effective," Miss Foster smiled.
"But, can I just ask, how many people have taken the pills to date?" Penny asked.
"We've already got one million customers within the Greater London area alone, but from next week, we start rolling out nationwide," Miss Foster answered. "The future starts here, and Britain will be thin."
"Brilliant," the Apocalypse muttered.
***
"That's a three week course of pills for a special price of forty five pounds," a man was saying in the call center when Donna crept up.
"Donna Noble, Health and Safety," she said as she sat down by him. "Don't mind me."
***
"We deliver within three working days," a young woman was going on when the Apocalypse sat down.
"Caly Saxon, Health and Safety," she said. "Don't mind me."
***
"The box comes with twenty one days worth of pills, a full information pack, and our special free gift, an Adipose Industries pendant," the man, Craig, was saying as Donna examined the gold pendant.
***
The Apocalypse did the same, admiring the gold pill as the woman, Clare, continued. "It's made of eighteen karat gold, and it's yours for free. No, we don't give away pens, no. No, I can't make an exception, no."
***
"I'll just need to keep this for testing," Donna said. "And I just need a list of your customers. Could you print it off?"
"I suppose so," Craig shrugged.
"Where's the printer?"
"Just over there, by the plant."
Donna looked over the cubicle wall. "Which plant, that plant?"
Craig checked where she was looking. "Yeah, that's the one."
"Lovely," Donna smiled, and they sat down.
***
Just seconds later, the Apocalypse stood up. "That's the printer there?" she asked, pointing.
"By the plant, yeah," Clare nodded.
"Brilliant," the Apocalypse beamed, sitting down.
***
And up popped Donna. "Does it need a code? Last place I worked, the printer needed a code."
"No, I can do it from here," Craig shook his head.
Donna sat down . . .
***
. . . and up went the Apocalypse. "Has it got paper?" she wondered.
"Yeah, Jimbo keeps it stocked," Clare confirmed.
The Apocalypse blinked, then ducked down when Miss Foster marched in, followed by two guards. "Excuse me, everyone? If I could have your attention," she said, and the workers all stood. "On average, you're each selling forty Adipose packs per day. It's not enough. I want one hundred sales per person per day. And if not, you'll be replaced. Because if anyone's good in trimming the fat, it's me. Now, back to it!"
The Apocalypse sighed as she left. "Anyway, if you could print that off? Thanks."
***
Donna looked at Craig as Miss Foster left. "So if you could just print off that list, I'll get out of your way." Craig nodded and hit the button. "Lovely. Thanks, then. See you!"
***
"Thanks, then," the Apocalypse said, standing, but paused when Clare gave her a piece of paper. "What's that?"
"My brother's telephone number," she answered.
"What for?"
"He needs a girlfriend," she smiled. "You're health, yeah? He can be safety."
The Apocalypse narrowed her eyes. "Married," she ground out, crumbling the piece of paper up and marching off.
She found the printer, but paused when she didn't see any copies. She grumbled under her breath and went back to Clare and looked over the edge of the wall, giving a sickly sweet smile. "Me again."
***
Donna tilted her head as later that night, her first customer opened the door. "Stacy Campbell?" she asked.
"Who wants to know?" Stacy asked.
"My name's Donna," she answered. "I represent Adipose Industries, and you're on the list of our valued customers."
***
"Mr. Roger Davey?" the Apocalypse asked as the man opened his door. "I'm calling on behalf of Adipose Industries. Just need to ask you a few questions."
***
"It's been fantastic!" Stacy gushed as she prepared for a date, Donna sitting on the couch. "I've started the pills on Thursday. Five days later, I've lost eleven pounds."
"And no side effects or anything?" Donna asked.
"No," Stacy shook her head with a smile. "I feel fantastic! It's a new lease of life. Now, what do you think about these earrings?" she asked, holding a pair up. "Do they work?"
"Yeah, lovely," Donna answered, not really caring.
***
"I've been on the pills for two weeks now," Roger told the Apocalypse as she listened intently. "I've lost fourteen kilos."
"The same amount every day?"
"One kilo exactly," Roger nodded. "You wake up, and it's disappeared overnight. Well, technically speaking, it's gone by ten past one in the morning."
"Ten past one," the Apocalypse said blankly. "What makes you say that?"
"That's when I get woken up. Might as well weigh myself at the same time."
Well, that was unusual.
***
"You going on a date?" Donna asked as Stacy put on her earrings.
"I'm doing the opposite," Stacy grinned. "I'm dumping him! I can do better than him now." Donna blinked as she headed for the stairs. "Right, I won't be long. If the taxi beeps, give me a shout."
***
"It is driving me mad," Roger complained as the Apocalypse listened with much more focus now. "Ten minutes past one, every night, bang on the dot without fail, the burglar alarm goes off. I've had experts in, I've had it replaced, I've even phoned Watchdog, but no, ten past one in the morning, off it goes!"
"With no burglars," the Apocalypse assumed.
"Nothing," Roger sighed. "I've given up looking."
The Apocalypse thought for a moment. "Roger, have you got a cat flap?"
Moments later, she was poking around one. "It was here when I bought the house," Roger explained. "I've never bothered with it, really. I'm not a cat person."
"No, I've met cat people," the Apocalypse said absently. "You're nothing like them."
+++
"I thought this far in the future, they'd have cured everything," Rose said.
The Apocalypse shook her head. "The human race moves on, but so do the viruses. It's an ongoing war."
Rose nodded as a few nurses passed by, then she did a double take. "They're cats," she said blankly.
"Now, don't stare," the Apocalypse admonished, lightly slapping her in the arm. "Think what you look like to them, all . . . pink and yellow."
"Says the one all blue and gold," Rose retorted, tugging at one of her sister's braids.
"Oi!" The Apocalypse playfully batted her hand away. "OK, so I'm sure I look different, too, but still."
+++
"Is that what it is, though?" Roger asked as the Apocalypse tugged on one of her braids absently. "Cats getting inside the house?"
"Well, thing about cat flaps is they don't just let things in," the Apocalypse told him. "They let things out as well."
"Like what?"
"The fat just walks away," the Apocalypse said in a singsong voice.
***
"Won't be long!" Stacy called from the upstairs bathroom.
"Oh, that's all right," Donna answered, absently playing with her gold pendant.
***
"Well, thanks for your help," the Apocalypse smiled at Roger. "Tell you what, maybe you could lay off the pills for a week or so?"
Something in her pocket beeped, and she blinked, pulling out the gizmo she'd worked on for a while. "Oh. Gotta go! Sorry!"
***
Donna looked up with a frown, hearing a thud from upstairs. "You all right up there?" she called.
"Yeah!" Stacy answered.
Donna walked down the hall. "I like what you've done with the hall," she said. "Stacy? Are you all right? I wouldn't mind a little visit myself. Everything all right in there?" She arrived at the bathroom and knocked on the door. "It's only me. Do you mind if I pop to the loo? Stacy?"
"Oh, help me!" Stacy screamed, and Donna's eyes widened. "Oh, my God, help me!"
"What is it?" Donna asked, trying to get the door open. "What's wrong? Stacy!"
She finally got the door open and hurried inside, only to see Stacy was gone, her clothes in a pile on the floor. She looked up at the window sill to see a small little creature wave at her before jumping outside.
Donna quickly ran out to try and find the trail, seeing the tail end of a truck drive by. She turned as a taxi pulled up . . . and she didn't see a ginger woman with fishtail braids start after the truck.
"Stacy Campbell?" the driver asked.
"No," Donna shook her head numbly. "She's gone."
"Gone where?"
"She's just gone."
"Oh, great," he groaned, driving off. "Thanks for nothing."
Donna sighed and trudged off . . . and from the next alleyway, the Apocalypse headed off to the TARDIS as well.
***
Donna tried to quietly close the door back at the house, but cringed when her mother called out, "And what time's this?"
"How old am I?" Donna complained, going into the kitchen.
"Not old enough to use a phone!"
Donna sighed and sat down, nursing a cup of tea as Sylvia ranted. "I thought you were only moving back for a couple of weeks! Look at you! I mean, you're never gonna find a flat, not while you're on the dole. And it's no good sitting there, dressed up, looking like you're job hunting. You've got to do something. It's not like the 1980s. No one's unemployed these days except you! How long did that job with Health and Safety last? Two days, and then you walk out! 'I have other plans,'" she mocked before scoffing. "Well, I've not seen them! And it's no good sitting there dreaming. No one's going to come along with a magic wand and make your life all better."
Sonic screwdriver, Donna thought blankly before shaking her head. "Where is Granddad?" she asked.
"Where do you think he is?" Sylvia huffed. "Up the hill. He's always up the hill."
***
Donna headed up the hill to see her granddad, Wilfred Mott, sitting at his telescope like usual. "Aye aye!" Wilf joked, seeing her. "Here comes trouble!"
"Permission to board ship, sir?" Donna played along.
"Permission granted," he winked. "Was she nagging you?"
"Big time," Donna nodded, sitting on her knees and handing him her cargo. "Brought you a thermos."
"Oh, ta," he smiled."You seen anything?"
"Yeah, I've got Venus, there with an apparent magnitude of minus three point five. At least, that's what it says in my little book. Here, come and see. Come on. Here you go. Right?" Donna scooted over to look through the telescope and see the planet. "That's the only planet in the Solar System named after a woman."
"Good for her," Donna smiled. "How far away is that?"
"Oh, it's about twenty six million miles," Wilf smiled. "But we'll get there, one day. In a hundred years time, we'll be striding out amongst the stars, jiggling about with all them aliens. Just you wait!"
"You really believe in all that stuff, don't you?" Donna grinned.
"It's all over the place these days!" Wilf nodded. "If I wait here long enough."
"I don't suppose you've seen a little blue box?" Donna asked, looking up. Maybe if Wilf joined in looking . . .
"Is that slang for something?" Wilf asked.
Donna laughed. "No, I mean it! If you ever see a little blue box flying up there in the sky, you shout for me, Gramps. Oh, you just shout!"
"Do you know, I don't understand half the things you say these days," Wilf commented.
Donna smiled sadly. "Nor me," she admitted.
"No, fair dos," he pointed out. "You've had a funny old time of it lately. There was a poor old . . . what's his name? Lance? Bless him, and that barmy old Christmas. I wish you'd tell us what really happened."
Not if it caught the Apocalypse's attention in a bad way, Donna thought. Why didn't she just torch him? "I know," she said instead. "It's just . . . the things I've seen, sometimes I think I'm going mad. I mean, even tonight, I was in a . . . " She paused, then sighed. "Doesn't matter.
"Well, you're not yourself, I'll give you that. You just, you seem to be drifting, sweetheart."
"I'm not drifting," she shook her head. "I'm waiting."
"What for?"
She smiled. "The right woman."
Wilf squawked. "I never took you for that kind of a woman, sweetheart!"
Donna laughed at the absurdity of the statement. "No, I don't mean like that! But she's real. I've seen her. I've met her, just once, and then I let her fly away."
"Well, there you are," Wilf shrugged. "Go and find her."
"I've tried," Donna huffed. "She's nowhere." And she'd looked everywhere! Any possibility of alien activity, she'd been there to look, but there was no sign of the Apocalypse at all. She'd even tried looking for Rose Tyler, but nothing had come up there, either.
"Oi, not like you to give up," Wilf nudged her. "Do you know, I remember when you were about six years old, your mother said 'no holiday this year.' So off you toddled, all on your own, and you got on a bus to Strathclyde. Ha! We had the police after you and everything. Ha! Where's she gone, then? Where's that girl, hey?"
Donna smiled. Why couldn't her mother be more like Wilf in encouraging her? "You're right," she said. "Because she's still out there somewhere, and I'll find her, Gramps. Even if I have to wait a hundred years, I'll find her."
***
"Oh, fascinating!" the Apocalypse grinned as she examined her pendant. "Seems to be a bio-flip digital stitch, specifically designed for - " She looked up to check to see if anyone was paying attention, but she cut off mid explanation. She'd forgotten.
No one else was there.
She sighed and dropped the pendant on the console, rubbing her temples. Finally, she reached over and grabbed Martha's phone, dialing a number she'd place ahead on speed dial. "Hello?" a familiar voice asked.
"Does Torchwood have a cure for alien madwomen?" the Apocalypse asked.
Jack paused. "You're talking to yourself again, aren't you?"
"Yeah," the Apocalypse admitted.
"Calypsie, I promise I'll hitch a ride with you again soon, but I've got my hands full here at the moment. Literally. This is my Bluetooth I'm using."
"Sorry," the Apocalypse winced.
"Well, it's better than no contact at all," Jack admitted. "Give me a moment." The Apocalypse waited patiently, hearing a small scuffle, then Jack's voice came clearer. "What is it you're doing now?"
"Funny story," the Apocalypse said, picking up the pendant and beginning her explanation, glad she had someone to talk to.
Why hadn't she contacted Jack sooner?
***
"It's my turn for the car!" Sylvia shouted as Donna opened the driver's door. "What you need it for?"
"A quick getaway," Donna quipped before ducking in.
***
Donna parked the car and exited the alleyway, heading for the front entrance.
Not even a minute later, the TARDIS materialized, and the Apocalypse ran for the fire escape.
***
Waiting up to seven hours in a bathroom stall was horrible. Donna was ready to leave when her cell phone rang. She rolled her eyes, then went back into the stall to answer. "Not now!" she hissed.
"I need the car!" Sylvia insisted. "Where are you?"
"I can't! I'm busy!"
"Why are you whispering?"
Donna cringed. "I'm in church," she seethed.
"What are you doing in church?"
"Praying!"
"Huh! Bit late for that, madam!"
"What's she in church for?" Wilf called faintly.
"Hush, you!" Sylvia snapped at him. "Go up the hill! But I need the car! I'm going out with Suzette. She's asked all the Wednesday girls. Apparently, she's been on those Adipose pills. She says she looks marvelous!"
The bathroom door open, and Miss Foster called out, "We know you're in here, so why don't you make this nice and easy and show yourself?" Donna froze, then hung up and slowly lifted her feet off the floor. "I'm waiting. I warn you, I'm not a patient woman. Now, out you come." Donna waited, then Miss Foster sniffed. "Right. We'll do it the hard way. Get her."Donna cringed each time a stall was kicked open, then they stopped. "There you are," Miss Foster said sweetly.
"I've been through the records, Foster, and all of your results have been faked," Penny the reporter accused, and Donna sighed in relief. "There's something about those pills you're not telling us."
"Oh, I think I'll be conducting this interview, Penny."
***
The Apocalypse climbed into the window cleaner's cradle and slowly lowered it down to Miss Foster's office window, but quickly ducked out of sight when the woman hauled someone else in. "This is ridiculous!" the voice of Penny the reporter shouted.
"Sit there," Miss Foster ordered.
"I'm phoning my editor!"
"I said sit!"
Frowning, the Apocalypse pulled out her stethoscope and put it in her ears, listening through the wall. "You can't tie me up!" Penny cried. "What sort of country do you think this is?"
"Oh, it's a beautifully fat country," Miss Foster answered. "And believe me, I've traveled a long way to find obesity on this scale."
"So, come on, then, Miss Foster. Those pills. What are they?"
"Well, you might just as well have a scoop, since you'll never see it printed. This is the spark of life."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Officially, the capsule attracts all the fat cells and flushes them away. Well, it certainly attracts them; that part's true. But it binds the fat together and galvanizes it to form a body."
"What do you mean, a body?"
"I am surprised you never asked about my name. I chose it well. Foster. As in foster mother. And these are my children."
Miss Foster must have revealed something, because Penny cried, "You're kidding me! What the hell is that?"
The Apocalypse poked her head up over the window to take a look, and blinked when she saw the tiny fat creature on Miss Foster's desk. "Adipose," Miss Foster answered like it was obvious. "It's called an Adipose, made out of living fat."
"But I don't understand!"
"From ordinary human people."
The Apocalypse was about to go in when she saw something that made her do a double take. Judging by the other ginger's reaction, she wasn't the only stunned one. "Donna?" she mouthed incredulously.
Donna's grin could have split her face in two. "Apocalypse?" she mouthed before beaming. "APOCALYPSE!"
"But . . . what?" the Apocalypse looked back and forth wildly. What in Rassilon's name was she doing here?! "What? What?!"
"OH MY GOD!" Donna bounced on the balls of her feet.
"But . . . how?"
"It's me!" Donna pointed to herself.
The Apocalypse nodded and made the 'I see you' motion. "Yes, I can see that!"
"Oh, this is brilliant!" Donna gave two thumbs up.
"What the hell are you doing there?" the Apocalypse pointed.
"I was looking for you!" Donna pointed right back at her.
"What for?"
Donna started miming, and the Apocalypse nodded, trying to keep up. "I read it on the Internet. Weird. Crept along. Heard them talking. Hid. You."
Donna stopped mid mime, her tongue out, looking back into the office.The Apocalypse slowly turned to look, and blinked, seeing Miss Foster looking back and forth between them. "Are we interrupting you?" she asked sarcastically.
The two women looked at each other, then the Apocalypse mouthed, "Run!"
Donna nodded and immediately turned tail. "Get her," Miss Foster ordered. Before her guards could do anything, the Apocalypse locked the door with her sonic. "And her," Miss Foster added.
The Apocalypse just sent the cradle shooting back up to the roof. She ran onto the roof and headed for the stairwell, and ran into Donna halfway. The two of them laughed and hugged the other. "Oh, my God, I don't believe it!" Donna shouted, pulling back to look at her. "You've even got the same clothes!" She frowned. "Don't you ever change?"
"Hair," the Apocalypse pointed out before looking down, seeing the guards chasing them. "But not right now! Just like old times!" she whooped, pulling Donna up the stairs.
***
As they ran, Donna tried to explain everything. "Because I thought, 'how do you find the Apocalypse?' And then I just thought, look for trouble, and then she'll turn up!" The Apocalypse sonicked the door shut, then ran to the cradle. "So I looked everywhere. You name it: UFO sightings, crop circles, sea monsters. I looked, I found them all. Like that stuff about the bees disappearing, I thought, 'I bet she's connected.' Because the thing is, Apocalypse, I believe it all now. You opened my eyes. All those amazing things out there, I believe them all. Well, apart from that replica of the Titanic flying over Buckingham Palace on Christmas Day. I mean, that's got to be a hoax."
The Apocalypse blinked. "He still hasn't taken care of that?" she asked out loud, before turning to her. "Wait a moment, what about bees disappearing?"
"I don't know," Donna shrugged. "That's what it says on the Internet. Well, on the same site, there was all these conspiracy theories about Adipose Industries, and I thought, 'let's take a look.'"
The Apocalypse sonicked the cradle controls, then gestured. "In you get."
"What, in that thing?"
"Yes, in that thing!"
"But if we go down in that, they'll just call us back up again."
"No, no, no, because I've locked the controls with a sonic cage," the Apocalypse shook her head, sending the cradle down. "I'm the only one that can control it. Not unless she's got a sonic device of her own, which is very unlikely."
The cradle suddenly shot down, and the Apocalypse quickly adjusted the controls. "Every time," she grumbled.
+++
"No, you were the one that said we had the only sonics," the Master accused the Doctor as they walked down the hallway, the Apocalypse giggling as she walked behind them.
"Well, I was wrong!" the Doctor huffed.
"I'm still wondering why you chose a screwdriver, BJ," the Master said, turning to her.
"Why not?" the Apocalypse shrugged, twisting the device in her fingers. "If I'm so good at destroying things, might as well have something to fix it all again, don't you think?"
+++
"We can get in through the window," the Apocalypse continued, starting to sonic the glass . . . when something clicked, and she growled. "Can't get it open!"
"Well, smash it, then!" Donna shouted, grabbing a spanner and banging on the glass.
The Apocalypse opened her mouth to argue when she smelled something. The two of them looked up to see smoke drifting from the metal. "She's cutting the cable!" Donna realized.
"She's trying," the Apocalypse corrected, making a swatting motion. Miss Foster tumbled away, and her sonic came tumbling down. "A pen," she said in surprise, looking down at the sleek device. She finally shrugged. "Why not? Back away," she told Donna, then laid her hand on the glass.
Ice immediately spread out across the window, and they could hear the glass cracking from inside. The Apocalypse winked at Donna, then held up her pinky finger and very gently tapped the glass. It shattered instantly. "What?" Donna gawked.
The Apocalypse just laughed and climbed through, and after a moment, Donna started laughing, too, and climbed in after her.
The two of them ran down the stairs, and hurried down to the call center . . . only to see Miss Foster approaching with her guards. "Well, then," the woman smiled. "At last."
"Hello," Donna smiled nervously.
"Nice to meet you," the Apocalypse added. "I'm the Apocalypse."
"And I'm Donna," Donna added.
"Partners in crime," Miss Foster nodded. "And evidently off-worlders, judging by your sonic technology."
"Oh, yes, I've still got your sonic pen," the Apocalypse nodded, holding it up. "Nice. I like it. Sleek. It's kind of sleek."
"Oh, it's definitely sleek," Donna agreed.
"Yeah," the Apocalypse raised an eyebrow. "And if you were to sign your real name, that would be?"
"Matron Cofelia of the Five Straighten Classabindi Nursery Fleet," she answered. "Intergalactic Class."
The Apocalypse frowned. "A wet nurse, using humans as surrogates."
"I've been employed by the Adiposian First Family to foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost."
"What do you mean, lost?" the Apocalypse frowned. "How do you lose a planet?"
"Oh, politics are none of my concern," Miss Foster shook her head. "I'm just here to take care of the children on behalf of the parents."
"What, like an outer space super nanny?" Donna scowled.
"Yes, if you like."
"So," Donna said slowly, trying to think it through. "So those little things, they're . . . they're made out of fat, yeah, but that woman, Stacy Campbell . . . there was nothing left of her."
"Oh, in a crisis, the Adipose can convert bone and hair and internal organs. Makes them a little bit sick, poor things."
Even the Apocalypse looked 'a little bit sick' at the statement. "What about poor Stacy?" Donna yelled angrily.
"Seeding a level five planet is against galactic law," the Apocalypse warned, trying to keep her temper in check.
"Are you threatening me?" Miss Foster narrowed her eyes.
"I'm trying to help you, Matron," she corrected. "This is your one chance, because if you don't call this off, then I'll have to stop you."
"I hardly think you can stop bullets," Miss Foster smirked.
"You really think that, lady?" Donna asked, raising an eyebrow as the guards aimed.
"They can try," the Apocalypse mused. "But do you know what happens if you hold two identical sonic devices against each other?"
"No," Miss Foster said shortly.
The Apocalypse grinned. "Nor me! Let's find out!"
Donna had learned the first time about the Apocalypse and noise. So she covered her ears as the Apocalypse pointed the sonics together, and the noise that erupted from the sonics made the glass shatter. She finally nudged the Apocalypse in the arm, and they took off.
***
The Apocalypse led Donna back to where she'd been hiding during the day: a storage cupboard close to the offices.
+++
"Is she all right?" Rose asked as the TARDIS landed shakily.
The Apocalypse frowned. "Yeah, she's fine," she answered, going outside and looking around. "I don't know what's wrong, though. She's sort of queasy, indigestion, like she didn't want to land."
Rose shrugged. "Oh, if you think there's going to be trouble, we could always . . . get back inside . . . and . . . go somewhere . . . else . . . "
Both women looked at each other before they burst out laughing, Rose doubling over, the Apocalypse leaning on the TARDIS. After they settled out of their laughing fest, the Apocalypse looked around the compartment they were in. "I think we've landed inside a cupboard," she decided before heading for the door. "Here we go."
+++
"Well, that's one solution," Donna quipped as the Apocalypse tossed stuff out of it. "Hide in a cupboard. I like it."
The Apocalypse led her to the back to show her the glowing green machine in the back. "I've been hacking into this thing all day, because the matron's got a computer core running through the center of the building," she explained. "Triple deadlocked, but now I've got this - " She held up the sonic pen. " - I can get into it. But, she's wired up the whole building. We need a bit of privacy." She held two wires together and popped up forcefields around them. "Just enough to stop them. Why's she wired up the tower block? What's it all for?"
Donna considered the Apocalypse for the first time as she worked. Her hair was different, that was for sure. Blonde to ginger was a huge change. But there was something else, too. "You look older," she realized.
The Apocalypse rolled her eyes. "Thanks."
"Still on your own?"
"Yup." She paused to consider. "Well, no. I had this friend, Martha. Martha Jones. She was brilliant." She looked at Donna. "And I destroyed half her life. But, she's fine. She's good. She's gone."
Donna bit her lip. "What about Rose?" she asked tentatively.
Right away, she knew that was a sore topic. The Apocalypse's entire body went rigid. "Still lost," the woman finally ground out. "I thought you were going to travel the world?"
Donna sighed at the topic change. One day, maybe she'd be able to get more out of her. "Easier said than done. "It's like I had that one day with you, and I was going to change. I was going to do so much! Then I woke up the next morning. Same old life. It's like you were never there. And I tried, I did try. I went to Egypt. I was going to go barefoot and everything, and then it's all bus trips and guidebooks and don't drink the water, and two weeks later, you're back home. It's nothing like being with you. I must have been mad turning down that offer."
"What?" the Apocalypse asked, turning to her. "To come with me?"
"Yes!" Donna nodded vigorously.
The Apocalypse considered, then blinked when the computer made an announcement. "Inducer activated."
"What's it doing now?" Donna asked worriedly.
"She's started the program," the Apocalypse realized.
"Inducer transmitting."
"So far, they're just losing weight, but the matron's gone up to emergency pathogenesis," the Apocalypse said nervously.
"And that's when they convert," Donna began.
"Skeletons, organs, everything," the Apocalypse nodded. "A million people are going to die . . . got to cancel the signal. Good old Jack, though." She took out her gold pendant. "Helped me figure this out, contains a primary signal. If I can switch it off, the fat goes back to being just fat." She put it into the inducer, which canceled for a moment . . .
Then the computer beeped. "Inducer increasing."
"What?!" the Apocalypse shrieked. "No, no, no, no, no! She's doubled it!"
"So what can we do?" Donna asked nervously, looking around. "Apocalypse, what do you need?"
The Apocalypse took a few deep breaths to calm her temper. She'd been around the Doctor's and the Master's tantrums before, and that was not needed here. "I need a second capsule," she answered, but her voice trembled with her fear. "I don't know where they keep them, and if I can't find one, I can't save them - !"
Donna just smirked, and from her pocket, held up a similar gold pendant. The Apocalypse looked blankly at it, then laughed gleefully and took it apart. She fixed it into the inducer, and it shut down. "There we go!"
"You see?" Donna patted her on the shoulder. "You do need someone."
The Apocalypse smiled. "Yeah, maybe I do."
They both looked up when they heard a deep rumble. "What the hell was that?" Donna asked.
"That would be the nursery," the Apocalypse guessed, turning to the computer when it started to light up.
"Fine. When you say nursery, you don't mean a crèche in Notting Hill."
"Nope," the Apocalypse popped the 'p.' "I mean nursery ship."
"Incoming signal," the computer said.
"Hadn't we better go and stop them?" Donna asked.
"Hang on," the Apocalypse frowned as an alien voice came over the speaker. "Instructions from the Adiposian First Family . . . " She listened intently, then her eyes widened. "She's wired up the tower block to convert it into a levitation post . . . ooo . . . oh, we're not the ones in trouble now! She is!"
***
"What you going to do then?" Donna asked as they ran up to the roof. "Blow them up?"
"They're just children," the Apocalypse shook her head. "They can't help where they come from."
"Oh, that makes a change from last time," Donna gave her a look, recalling the Racnoss. "That Martha must've done you good."
"She did, yeah," the Apocalypse admitted with a smile. "She did."
They both waved at the Adipose as they floated up and away, then Donna said blankly, "I'm waving at fat."
"Actually, as a diet plan, it sort of works," the Apocalypse admitted, then blinked. "There she is!" They ran over to see Miss Foster floating upwards in one of the beams, Adipose soaring around her. "Matron Cofelia, listen to me," she began.
"Oh, I don't think so, Apocalypse," Miss Foster smirked smugly. "And if I never see you again, it'll be too soon."
"Oh, why does no one ever listen?" the Apocalypse whined. "I'm trying to help! Just get across to the roof. Can you shift the levitation beam?"
"What, so that you can arrest me?"
"Just listen, I saw the Adiposian Instructions. They know it's a crime, breeding on Earth, so what's the one thing they want to get rid of? Their accomplice."
"I'm far more than that. I'm nanny to all these children!"
The Apocalypse groaned in frustration. "Exactly! Mum and Dad have got the kids now. They don't need the nanny anymore!"
The levitation beam suddenly shut off, and Miss Foster fell with a scream. The Apocalypse winced and quickly covered Donna's eyes so she wouldn't see the woman go splat on the ground.
***
The Apocalypse considered Miss Foster's sonic pen, then tossed it into the garbage bin behind her. As Donna walked up to her, Penny trudged up, still tied in her chair. "Oi, you two!" she barked. "You're just mad! Do you hear me? Mad! And I'm going to report you for . . . madness!"
The two gingers looked at each other, then snickered and walked on. "You see?" Donna said smugly. "Some people just can't take it."
"No," the Apocalypse admitted.
"And some people can," Donna grinned. "So, then, TARDIS! Come on!"
***
"That's my car!" Donna gasped, seeing her car right next to the TARDIS. "That is like destiny! And I've been ready for this." She opened the boot, and the Apocalypse gawked at the mass of luggage inside. "I packed ages ago, just in case," Donna rattled on as the Apocalypse shook herself out of her stupor and helped her unload. "Because I thought, hot weather, cold weather, no weather, she goes anywhere. I've gotta be prepared."
The Apocalypse paused, looking at the box she had just pulled out. "You've got a hatbox," she said blankly.
"Planet of the Hats! I'm ready!" Donna whooped, making the Apocalypse shake her head, grinning. "I don't need injections, do I? You know, like, when you go to Cambodia? Is there any of that? Because my friend, Veena, went to Bahrain, and she - "
"No," the Apocalypse finally said, shaking her head. "No, there's no need for injections. It's just . . . with Martha, it got complicated, and it was my fault. Are you sure you want to come?"
Donna stared at her. "No," she held out. "I spent a whole bloody year searching for you just so I could say no. Of course, you dumbo!" she shouted.
The Apocalypse just laughed. "Well, there we are, then. OK."
Donna grinned. "I can come?"
"Yeah!" the Apocalypse nodded with a big grin. "'Course you can, yeah! I'd love it!"
"Oh, that's just - " Donna started to hug her before stopping. "Car keys."
The Apocalypse blinked. "What?"
"I've still got my mum's car keys," Donna realized, looking at them. "I won't be a minute!"
The Apocalypse shook her head, chuckling as Donna ran off, before she started telekinetically maneuvering the suitcases into the TARDIS.
***
"I know, Mum," Donna said as she went out onto Brook Street, the place blocked off by police barriers. "I saw it. Little fat people. Listen, I've got to go. I'm going to stay with Veena for a bit - "
"It was in the sky!" Sylvia interrupted.
"Yeah, I know! Spaceship! But I've still got the car keys. Look, there is a bin on Brook Street, about thirty feet from the corner. I'm going to leave them in there."
"What, a bin?"
"Yeah, that's it, bin," Donna nodded, putting the keys in.
"But you can't do that!"
"Oh, stop complaining! The car's just down the road a bit. Got to go. Really, got to go. Bye!"
"But, Donna, you can't - !"
Donna huffed and hung up. She looked around, then ran up to a blonde woman wearing black jeans and a familiar colored jacket, but she couldn't place it at the moment. "Listen, there is this woman that's going to come along," she spoke quickly. "A tall blonde woman called Sylvia. Tell her that bin there, all right?" she pointed. "It'll all make sense. That bin . . . there . . . " She paused, taking another look at the blonde. "Do I know you?" she finally asked. She looked familiar somehow . . .
The blonde shook her head, confused. "I don't think so, no," she answered, her voice a thick lower class London accent, before she looked over at Adipose Industries. "I've got to ask, what's happened over there?"
Donna gawked at her. "You don't know?"
"I just - " she began.
"Donna!" the Apocalypse's voice shouted, and both women whipped around at once, Donna straightening, the blonde's jaw dropping, her whiskey eyes brimming with tears. "Let's move it!"
"Right, sorry," Donna smiled at the blonde. "That bin there!" she reminded her before running off.
"Wait!" the blonde blurted, pushing through people to get past them. "Caly!"
But before she could go any further, Rose Tyler vanished, leaving not a trace behind her.
***
Donna smiled, finally returning to the TARDIS. The Apocalypse winked at her and went back inside, Donna following. "Off we go, then," Donna beamed.
"Here it is," the Apocalypse held out her arms. "The TARDIS. It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside - "
"Oh, I know that bit," Donna huffed. "Although, frankly, you could turn the heating up."
The Apocalypse snorted loudly at the statement. "Well, is that the first place in the whole wide universe that you'd like to go? Somewhere where the heating's turned up?"
"No," Donna smiled. "I know exactly the place."
"Which is?" the Apocalypse asked, heading over to the console as she spoke.
Donna grinned and pointed. "Two and a half miles that way."
So the Apocalypse laughed and piloted them through the night sky, and both of them waved down at a joyfully dancing Wilfred Mott before they went on to their first adventure together again.
Donna didn't even recall that she now remembered what color the mysterious blonde's jacket had been.
TARDIS blue.
***
Donna! :D
Jack! :D
Rose! :'(
Now we're rolling. :) And you guys have already gotten 41 comments, so you'll definitely reach 120 in no time.
"Smith and Jones" is next for Alice!