Everything is coming out better than Jennie wanted: a large group of people gathered in a new place in the forest, away from the camp tracks. Irene and Seulgi are with her, and this is already a huge bonus for the upcoming party. Another bonus is alcohol. Jennie doesn't ask Chahee where they got it, because Jay isn't here.
When the alcohol is distributed, everyone sits down in their seats, forming a circle so that it is convenient to communicate. The guys brought not only drinks, but also what they will be sitting on. Chahee shares her plaid with Jennie: she did not allow her friend to sit next to her, planning that she and Jennie would only be on it together, but the brown-haired girl, in turn, presses against her to make room for her friends. Chahee was displeased for only a few seconds, and then, appreciating how close Jennie sat, snuggled up to her, smiled contentedly.
Jennie took part in the conversations for the first half hour. The alcohol hit her head, and instead of becoming even more talkative and cheerful, Jennie fell silent. She suddenly felt like a guest at the theater. She is sitting in the front row, something is happening on stage, but it doesn't concern her in any way: she can just watch and listen, she can think about something of her own and generally forget about what is happening - no one will notice anyway.
-Why are you sad?- Chahee whispers.- Maybe I should make you stronger alcohol?- She picks up a bottle of whiskey.
-No, thanks.- Jennie answers politely.
She wished she could just be a spectator. So that she doesn't have to talk or sit with a sympathetic expression on her face. She wished no one would pay attention to her. Although, if it wasn't for Chahee, it would have been. Jennie realizes that she won't be able to just sit next to Chahee , staying in her thoughts. Chahee won't let her do that: she's counting on her, Jennie is the center of her attention.
-I thought you wanted to have a good time.
-That's right.- Kim answers, looking down at Chahee's hand, which she covers her hand with.
Jennie feels awkward. Previously, touching a beautiful girl would not have caused her to do anything like this, and she would definitely take advantage of it, but now... now she doesn't feel free for this. No, she doesn't think she owes Rose anything, it's her own feeling of protest growing inside. It's as if her whole body rejects any intrusion into her personal space. Maybe it's just the subconscious? It indicates that it would be ugly to do so simply. Wrong. But why would she? After all, she never owed Rose anything. Everything is not real with them from the very beginning.
Meanwhile, Chahee settles in more comfortably, completely taking over the brown-haired girl's hand. They're too close together. Their hands are not intertwined in a friendly way at all. Jennie doesn't like it. She's mad at herself. She's angry at how she feels. Why should she care about someone else's condition? Why should she think about whether she will offend someone with her actions or not? The girl takes her hand away and sits down so that it is comfortable.
Why is it so sad? Jennie feels lonely. There is something aching in her chest, and a lump rises in her throat. She quickly brings the glass to her mouth and gulps down the contents.
Irene moves closer and rests her head on her shoulder. It's getting quite a bit easier. She's not alone.
The phone vibrates, and Jennie's heart skips a beat. Rose? The thought makes her heart beat faster. But no, it's Jisoo. Jisoo has been writing messages lately for only one reason, although she tries to hide it with routine questions. She tries very hard to seem like a friend. Jennie promised that she would send the money to her on time. The brown-haired girl even knows how to do it.
The fact is that Yuri extended her stay here for another week. And Jennie decided that she would leave the camp on the day of the game, when there would be a lot of guests. On her birthday. She will go to the bank and she will be provided with all the information on the account. She will pay off her debts, and after that she will endure a few more days in this camp, because the long—awaited freedom is ahead - she will finally fulfill her dream.
The girl sighs in disappointment, putting the phone back in her pocket.
-We will drink until morning today. We need to take a good walk for the last time.- Chahee says.
-We wanted to do it tomorrow.- Said the guy who was sitting opposite.
-What's the difference? Many people will leave this weekend. I'll leave on Sunday. So why not today?- Chahee shrugs her shoulders.- What about you?
-I've been detained here for a week, so I'm leaving next Saturday.- Jennie answers.
-Many will leave this weekend. What about your roommate?
-She's leaving this weekend. Irene and Seulgi are also leaving at this time.
-Oh, I'm sorry for you, darling.- Chahee purses her lips.
-Okay, then let's have a drink today.- The guy decides.
Jennie suddenly realizes that in three or four days she will be left here all alone. However, everyone she talked to would leave. It totally sucks. She sighs, angry at Yuri for making such a decision.
She walks with her friends towards her building. I'm not in the mood. And Jennie is sure that no matter how much alcohol she drank, it would not have appeared. It's in her head. She needs to stop thinking. Rose should get out of her thoughts for at least one day to rest, have fun.
Jennie enters the room, which at that moment Rose crosses in a T-shirt and underpants, heading from the bathroom to her bed. She doesn't even look at the brown-haired girl, who involuntarily looks down at her bare legs. Her heart is pounding fast and her breathing is becoming difficult. Jennie missed her.
Jennie looks at the time on her phone screen. There are about five minutes left before the bedtime check begins. She takes off her sweater, takes off her shoes and goes to the bed, climbs right into her jeans and covers herself with a blanket.
Seokjin walks in, looks at them, nods satisfactorily, and reaches out to turn off the light.
-She hasn't changed her clothes yet.- Roseanne suddenly says, and the man immediately turns his gaze to Jennie, who has only her head sticking out from under the blanket.
-I've already changed my clothes.- Jennie says, taking her hands out from under the covers.
-You're wearing jeans.- The blonde comments.- She was just in a hurry so as not to detain you. You can change your clothes.- She turns to Jennie.- Or are you going somewhere?
-I'll come in later, turn off the light.- Seokjin says.
-Are we five years old? We'll turn it off ourselves.- Kim responds in a not very polite voice, getting out of bed.
She probably shouldn't have said that, because now the man's gaze is getting suspicious. He looks at Jennie for a long time, and then says:
-I'll come in anyway.- And closes the door.
-You're dumb.- Jennie is not going to be silent, she is annoyed.
Jennie, standing in the middle of the room, begins to pull off her jeans. She takes off everything, remaining in her panties and bra. She notices that Rose is looking at her all the time. Kim turns off the light, and then quickly walks over to Rose's bed.
They look at each other in silence. Jennie wanted to say something, but now she can't find the words. She doesn't know what to say. She just looks at the girl, and inside everything burns, either from the desire to say something nasty, or from the desire to kiss.
The door opens again. The man apologizes after seeing Jennie in her underwear.
-I'm going to bed right now.- She says, and the counselor hurries to close the door.
Rose is still silent. If she had said something, Jennie would have definitely changed her mind about doing what she was going to do. But she doesn't say anything. What does she feel, what does she think? The brown-haired girl takes another step, not taking her eyes off the eyes opposite. She lowers her gaze, starting to examine her lips, her neck. She can definitely see Rose swallowing hard. Jennie immediately returns to her eyes.
Rose slowly removes the blanket from herself, and Jennie opens her mouth, but she can't afford to freeze now, so she quickly puts her knee on the edge of the bed, and throws her other leg over the blonde, sitting on top. They look at each other. Jennie likes this mounting tension. She likes this seemingly tangible energy that has formed between them and around them. As if this air could be touched as something dense and hot. It's hard to breathe it in. It's getting hot.
-I care.- Jennie says.
Rose's gaze becomes more focused. She looks at the girl as if she is trying not to understand what she is talking about, but to believe it.
-I'm just not used to showing some emotions and talking about them. You must understand me.- She continues.
Jennie can't afford to miss the opportunity to talk. It may be that this is their last personal conversation at all. She doesn't want to put it off, doesn't want to wait for the last moment. It may not come. She went to Rose for another one, but when she got so close, she suddenly realized that she wanted to talk. There are a lot of things inside that she wants to say, the main thing is to choose the words.
-You've been drinking.- The blonde speaks softly and hoarsely.
-Just a little bit.
-I'm always mad at you. I always get angry when I can't get what I want. I'm used to...
-What do you want?- Jennie interrupts her.
-You.
Jennie wants to breathe, but the air has become so dense that it is impossible to do so. There are so many thoughts running through her head. These words evoke so many things, she needs to cling to at least one thought. Her head starts to spin, either from the heat or from the tension. What can she say? Does Rose want her not to leave? But they live far from each other anyway, don't they? What does "you" mean? It seems to her that if she clarifies, she will ruin everything. That if he starts digging deeper, then Rose will close. But she needs to understand what it's about, right?
-We can talk about it.- Jennie finally says.
-There's nothing to talk about.- Rose immediately replies.- You don't understand.
-So help me.- Jennie touches her forearms and squeezes.- Rose, just talk to me.
-It's...- The blonde looks away. She pauses, choosing her words.- It looks like jealousy. Only much worse. It's just a feeling. You're dreaming about your own, and it just.... I'm dreaming too, Jennie. I also love something so much that it's the most important thing. The most important thing. I understand that this is wrong, but these are emotions. I wish...- She sighs.- I can't. Let's not discuss this.
Jennie understands. She also understands that it is too difficult to say. Would she be able to?
-Would you like you to become more important to me? So that I can worry more about you? Rose, I care. You've distanced yourself from me. You were angry that they were talking to me, and it wasn't jealousy. I just can't figure it out.... Are these signs of despotism? I did what you wanted, but I didn't get anything for it, you just got bolder. How do you explain this to yourself? Is this love?
At these words, Rose's eyes light up. She starts to get angry, and Jennie immediately grabs her by the shoulders, leaning her whole body and pinning her to the bed.
-Rose, tell me.
-I don't know.- The blonde says loudly, pulling away.- I don't know.- She adds softly when Jennie doesn't let her out.
Jennie stares at her with her mouth slightly open, studying her face. Does Rose want her because she loves her, or because she's used to getting whatever she wants? Does she want it not to end because she can't come to terms with her emotions, wants to share them, wants Jennie to suffer from it, or does she love her so much that she goes crazy at the thought of breaking up? She would like Jennie not to leave, so... Jennie immediately imagines giving up her dream for this man. For the sake of a man who does not know what he is guided by, wanting to get something.
-I only know one thing: what angers me the most is that you're okay. And it's not because of my character, it's because of my feelings. Sometimes it hurts me so much that it's all easy for you, that I think about how I'll be without you, and you won't. That it hurts me to tears to say goodbye to you, but you don't. Is this selfishness? To realize that a person doesn't care what I want and you don't. And you know, it doesn't matter what my desires are based on: selfishness or love. The important thing is that I have it and you don't. So what? What, should I have told you that? I perfectly understand what it's like when someone demands from you what you can't give. What would you say to that? What do you say to that? Oh, yes, you can say that you care. You know these are just words. Get off me, please.
-Rose, I love you.- Jennie says, leaning towards the girl. Her face immediately changes. With a slow sigh, the muscles on her face relax. Now she doesn't look belligerent, but confused.- I love you.- The brown-haired girl repeats, touching her forehead with her forehead.- And I care. You know.- She pulls back to look into the eyes opposite.- I would think more about what would happen after we split up if my thoughts weren't busy with what is happening now. How can I think about what's going to happen next if I'm hurt by what you're doing now? What have you been doing for the last two weeks? I still can't let it go.... I can't forgive you. You've made it impossible for me to be sad about what's coming after. And I would love to be angry, I would be glad if the pain was anger, but I don't know how to substitute these two emotions like you do.
She slowly gets off the blonde and sits on the edge of her bed.
-I'm sorry.- Rose whispers, sighing.
-Yes. - Jennie answers with a sigh and stands up.
-Take my pills.- Rose says.- I'll only take one pill before the game. They're in the drawer.
Jennie opens a drawer and takes a small box with four pills left.
-There were six pills here. Did you drink two?- Jennie looks at the girl with displeasure.
-No, just one. You're confusing something. There were five pills in there.
Jennie silently takes the small box. It's really going to be better this way. Rose took two pills. She remembers exactly that there were six of them.
-Can you stay off the pill for two days?
-Yes. Just one before the game.
-I have to leave on the day of the game. I need to pick up the money.
-Sit down.- Rose asks, and Jennie sits down on the edge of the bed again.- Why now? You can do it after all this.
-I was expecting to leave on Sunday, but Jessie extended my stay here for a week. My birthday is the day after tomorrow. Jisoo is freaking out. I need to give the money back on time. Anyway, I'm going to leave after breakfast and come to the game. And I will also pay for all the preparatory fees so that I can fly away to study by September. I'm already missing deadlines, if I do it at home, they may refuse. More precisely, they will definitely refuse.
-Hmm....- Rose thinks aloud.- Will you be there by four o'clock? Preferably by three-thirty.
-I'll be in time. I think I'll be back even earlier.