Now playing- The Night We Met- Lord Huron
guys I highly recommend rereading the « alhaitham Volan » chapter in the previous fic because spoiler alert something does happen which gives him flashbacks to smth in that chapter
anyways this is the chapter that reveals the foreshadowing from 2 days ago...
ALSO OVERDOSE AGAIN uhm...yeah sorry it's super dark I know...
anyway yes Childe is murderer
~~
2 hours later, you sat in your apartment, feeling as lonely as ever, but that wasn't really shocking anymore, was it?
Signora was staying overnight at the hospital by Pantalone's side, and you had no idea if the others were back within their own rooms.
You didn't wanna check.
Your mind kept flashing back to the fight you had back at the bar, and felt the humiliation all over again from the peering eyes as they watched you scream at Alhaitham, try to fight albedo- god they must've thought you were crazy.
Were you?
Maybe Childe was the murderer, like, why wouldn't he tell them where he was the night she died?
But he wasn't that dumb.
You don't even know how, but you ended up on the living room floor, laying down in a starfish position on your back, bottle of some random alcoholic drink beside you.
You hoped you'd get drunk in a way that you'd forget everything but instead you're in your overthinking drunk phase.
Alhaitham hasn't come home yet, and it was nearing midnight. Was he mad at you? Would he stay the night at Cyno's?
After that episode, you wouldn't have been surprised if he did.
Your mind went back to Childe, wondering what happened. They said he tried to commit, that he had an overdose after he attacked pantalone.
Was he in the hospital? Or were they brutal enough to not give him any treatment?
Their reasoning was that he had a vendetta against Pierro's family for their riches due to his recent money problems- but what would that benefit for him? What would that solve? They also said he had a vendetta against your family ever since Zhongli's riches came back- hence Xiao's attack- but why?
Childe? The man who used to break into your home at 2 in the morning just to take snacks and bother you? The man who used to drive Xiao to and from school when you were too busy and couldn't lend the car?
How? How could it be him? He has siblings- multiple, and he would never even dream about hurting them, so how could he hurt Xiao? Another brother? And Pantalone? His closest best friend aside from Scaramouche?
Oh god and Pierro....
What if Pantalone had died tonight? What would he do? He'd have no other child than Capitano- who wasn't even a child anymore.
Trars began to flow as guilt took over you. You promised yourself and to him- even if he didn't know it- that you would prove his innocence, yet you were too late.
How did he react if he found out- if he was even awake- did he take it? Did he accept the charges because he really was the murderer?
You heard the door open, but found no strength to move your head up and look, as you already had an idea as to who it was
Alhaitham sighed, towering over you. "Comfy?"
"No." You breathed out.
"Then I'll get uncomfy with you." He shrugged, before dropping onto his knees, laying on his side and facing you.
Struggling, you went onto your side, facing him.
He put a hand up to wipe away your tears, then tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before he scooted foreword, his lips gently pressed against your forehead.
"I don't wanna believe it's him," You admitted meekly, not able to stop the new tears that streamed.
"None of us want to, but we have to." He frowned, "it's not easy for any of us."
You looked deep into his eyes; they were full of regret, guilt and somehow so much more.
You realized you hadn't even thought about how he felt during all of this. His Akademiya just burned down, his best friends are in the hospital and he had to be the one to apprehend his other best friend.
"I'm sorry." You breathed out, letting out a whine. "I'm so sorry."
"I don't want you to apologize for anything tonight." He wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you closer to him and you began to cry into his chest, clutching onto his shirt.
He held you as you cried, despite such harsh actions and all your screaming earlier- he continued to hold you, because nothing could ever make him hate you.
Nothing.
"Why would he do this..." you sobbed into his chest and he put a hand onto the back of your chest, trying to hold you closer than he already was.
"I know, baby, I know." He let his own tears fall.
He waited for you, waited at least 15 minutes for your crying to stop as he just held you, soothing and comforting you and encouraging you to let it all out.
You hated how the only time you could finally have his comfort was right after you find out your best friend was trying to kill you all.
"Can...can we talk?" He asked, moving back a bit to look at your face. "We- we don't have to if you don't want to!" He quickly said, a bit nervous, and you would've found it adorable if it wasn't for current circumstances.
"I was just hoping we could talk about...it."
The meds.
You chuckled, sniffing. "You always were a communication king."
"I wasn't before I met you." He smiled sadly.
He sat up, grabbing two pillows from the couch and putting them down on the ground, pushing one under your head before he put one under his.
You smiled in thanks. "They're on the counter." You breathed out. "The meds. I opened a new one today."
He didn't wanna look. "Did you take one today?"
You nodded, "earlier."
"How long?" He asked, reaching for your hand to hold onto it. "How long have you been taking them?"
"7 months maybe," You felt yourself becoming droopy, but you didn't really feel tired.
"7 months." he breathed out in shock, tears starting to form.
He leaned over to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.
"Are you disappointed in me?" You asked, your voice rough as you tried to hold back tears.
He scoffed, beginning to laugh. "Darling I could never be mad at you."
"You seem mad,"
He turned to look at you. "I'm mad at myself."
"Why?" You breathed out, plopping yourself onto one arm.
He scoffed again, looking up at the ceiling because if he looked at you, he would've began to sob.
"Baby, you have been taking those meds for 7 months- hiding it from me, and I didn't even notice anything wrong with you. Wha-what kind of boyfriend am I to not notice his girlfriend of 2 years acting slightly off?!"
"You were busy," You tried to make an excuse for him, "Love, you're the acting grand Sage- you've been it for 2 years! That's the most stressful job ever, and you're also a detective and-"
"That's not an excuse," He muttered.
You frowned. "Your work is more important than me."
He immediately turned, tears now spilling.
"Never, ever say that again." He said breathlessly, and almost angrily. "Y/N, you are my family, the love of my life, my everything- I want to marry you one day, but how could of a husband could I be if I can't even be good enough for you to confide in me about this?"
"Haitham," You smiled, thinking about how the hell did you ever land a guy like him. "I'm sorry-"
"What did I say about the apologizing?"
You giggled. "I do confide in you. I love you, and I wanna marry you one day too. I just didn't want to burden you with how I was feeling and I just sought out the meds because I know you- you would've dropped everything just to take care of me."
"Because you deserve it."
You reached your hand up, feeling weak yet pushing through it as you wiped away a tear. "I love you."
You loved yourself up, laying on him as your head laid right above his heart, finding comfort in the soothing beats.
One arm made its way around your waist while the other put its hand on your head, placing a kiss to the top of your head.
"You will never be a burden. You saved me, Y/N- you brought me back to the happiest I could be, you brought back the only family I had- you brought back my life. I wish I knew what you were going through, so I could've tried to understand, but I wanna focus on how I can be here for you now. I know you, baby, I know everything this last month has killed you and I promise I will be there with you every step of the way to recovery. Even if you rely on the meds at the end of the day, I understand."
He let out a sigh of relief, pushing back all the negative thoughts about tonight. No, he wasn't forgetting about it- but right now he needed you and you needed him. He needed your comfort, and your love and you did too.
He felt you go limp and chuckled. Were you two really about to sleep on the floor?
He grabbed a blanket from the couch, draping it over you two.
Maybe you two could lay like this for a while. Maybe his back would hurt but that was okay.
He was still guilty for everything, and was mentally punching himself because how could he let you hide this for 7 months?! How could he let you suffer and not notice?!
He promised in his mind that he would make up for those 7 months.
When he felt his shirt get wet, he began to laugh. "Are you drooling?!"
You didn't answer and he laughed again.
Wow, you were really out of it!
No, literally haha...
He pushed you off gently, only to be met with the sight of foam coming out of the side of your mouth and his heart dropped.
You weren't asleep- you were awake, just too weak to move yourself.
"H-hai.." you tried to talk.
His hands began to shake, flashbacks to a certain night.
Switching in his mind was you, turning into Signora- just lie le he found her on that day.
The day he gave her the drugs, caused her to overdose and was the reason she almost died.
His breath quickened as he felt everything tighten.
"No-nonononono-" he began to panic, looking around for anything that would bring him answers.
His eyes landed on the alcoholic bottle on the ground beside you.
"When was the last time you took your meds?" He asked immediately.
"3...3 hours."
"Oh my god, oh my god oh my god." It had to be at least over 12 hours!
He immediately jumped up, running into the kitchen to find that the bottle was filled up halfway, and the counter was covered in what seemed to be Advil- most likely to help with your headaches.
All he cared about was the bottle- didn't you say you opened a new one today? 3 hours ago?
How many did you take in the last hour?!
"H-haith..." He heard you call, beginning to choke.
Fuck- fuck he had to do it.
"I'm so sorry," He breathed out once he got back down onto his knees, and stuck his fingers down your throat, forcing the puke out of you as you sobbed.
"Just stay awake, Y/N, please!" He begged, making sure all the puke was out before he grabbed for his phone. "I'm calling an ambulance, okay? Baby just please stay awake!"
"Nonononono-" He started to sob, the flashbacks to that night coming back.
Your eyes closed and he felt the whole world stop.
~~
Alhaitham almost laughed thinking about how many times you've been in a hospital room this last mont- way too many times to count.
It was almost 3 in the morning, and he wanted to say he was tired and sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, it was either you or Signora he was looking at and he was forced to open his eyes.
It was just him- he hadn't called anyone aside from Dehya to come keep him company- the girl was actually seated beside him, sleeping.
Dehya was the only person who would understand why he panicked so much- why he couldn't sleep, and why he refused to leave your side.
He couldn't call anyone else- not after what happened to Pantalone. You were alive and unharmed, so he could tell them in the morning what happened.
He heard a groan and his snapped to you, seeing your eyes open slowly, watching as your face grimaced at the blinding light.
How stood up, rushing to your side and Dehya woke up, muttering a "wha" before she realized where she was and why.
"Haitham..." you breathed out, throat sore as you began to cough.
He handed you water a nurse left for you a while ago and he helped you drink it. "Thank god you're okay."
On the other side of the bed you felt the comforting, warm hand of Dehya's on your shoulder.
You started to feel bile make its way up, and Alhaitham sensed it as he grabbed the trash can, putting it in your lap as you immediately sat up and puked into it, the both of them grimacing.
"Dehya, could you..." he motioned his head towards the door and she nodded, giving you a comforting smile before she left.
"This is the last thing I excepted tonight," he dragged a hand down his face, letting out a sigh.
"I'm sorry." You breathed out once you finally remembered what happened. "I was in so much pain, and I had a massive headache..."
"Yet you still drank." He scoffed.
"I thought it would get my mind off of everything." You whispered, not being able to speak clearly.
He was looking down at his feet, not being able to look you in the eyes. He walked back to the seats, grabbing all the bags and putting them by the hospital bed.
"Grabbed everything you might need- also found this."
He reached into one of then bags, and your breath hitched when he pulled out a familiar little black box.
He threw it onto the bed, scoffing. "Seemed you hid a lot more from me too, Nighstar."
He sat down at the edge of the bed, and you couldn't tell if he was angry or upset.
You didn't know what to say- you were at a loss of words but you honestly didn't wanna speak, your throat too sore from all the puking, crying and screaming from earlier.
He finally looked up, looking at you but not into your eyes.
"I..."
He paused, hesitance.
"I think we need to take a break."
Your heart dropped for the millionth time that day.
"W-what?"
"All of these secrets...hidden truths..." He scoffed, "they've caused such a distance between us and I hoped that after that talk we had tonight maybe you'd reveal everything to me but..."
He looked down at the box that held the Akasha. "I S'pose not."
"Haitham." God why were you crying?! "Please..."
"I'm not saying it's your fault." He looked back down at his feet. "God, of course it's not your fault, but if you can't confide in me, then maybe I am not the one."
You could hear the way he was trying so desperately to hold back his tears and keep his composure.
"Alhaitham, I swear to you that I just- I didn't know how to tell you!"
"No, you just didn't wanna tell me." He stood up, finally looking you in the eyes. "I love you, Y/N. I love you so much; you consume my mind all the time to the point it's absolutely irritating, but god it's in such a good way. I relate everything to you- if I see a star, I imagine you looking up at it. You are both the light and bane of my life, but if I can't be the one you choose to confide in at the end of the day, then I am not the one for you, even if I wish I was."
His facade didn't even break when you began to sob, letting out pleas and begs for him to stay- you needed him, after everything. He needed you too, but it would just break his heart more.
He turned away, ignoring the begging calls of his name that would get louder with each step he'd take, and then they just turned into sobs once he left the room.
And by the time he was finally out of your sight, into the elevator, he leaned against the wall and slumped down, sobbing into his hands.
With the constant sobbing and yells of his name, begging for him to come back, you hadn't noticed the way your phone would buzz in one of the bags.
Dainsleif and Y/N
Dainsleif
you were right
Heizou messaged xiao that night
He's our guy
~~
SIKEEEEEEEE CHILDE IS NOT THE MURDERER LMFAOOOOOO
UHM im so sorrh thé breakup scene is so insanely rushed like I was just tryna get to the end of this
I'm good at writing insanely depressing scenes yet breakups are not my forte it's insane
anyway the foreshadowing oart was when Capitano was like joking in dain's house like "he just doesn't love you" Lolololol "break up" (2 chapters ago)