Rose is sitting in the last row in the auditorium. A creative competition is taking place today. It would seem that there will be few people willing to take part in the sports camp, but, nevertheless, the event is scheduled for an hour and a half. It would have been a great opportunity to prove herself once again, but Rose passed it by. At school, it was enough for her that at such events, the coach and captains of the volleyball and football teams were invited on stage. Rose was called to tell everyone how cool she was and thank them for their hard work and efforts, while the hall was bursting with the screams of the girls from her team, who were joined by all the students. That was enough for her.
Here... hardly anyone here will surprise everyone. The girls from the junior corps prepared the dances. Someone is singing. Someone will do magic tricks. Nothing special. Well, except for one thing. Jennie will sing. It's not that Rose doesn't believe that her girlfriend is capable of conquering everyone here, rather the opposite — she is sure that this is possible, but not today. One song won't be enough to get the audience excited. She's not a popular singer. And she is not a schoolgirl who has been admired for a year or several years. Rose didn't expect anything. But she was still curious. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was glad that Jennie wouldn't make a splash. She was angry with herself for that, but there was nothing she could do.
The evening could be very boring, but Rose unwittingly became a participant in discussions with the girls from her team. They literally surrounded her. Irene and Seulgi were sitting at the other end of the last row, and it would have been better if Eunhcae had been sitting there. The top of her head constantly distracted Rose from performing and from talking. Eunhchae was sitting in the penultimate row, slightly to the right of Rose herself. She didn't turn around, but it was enough for the blonde that she was just there.
In fact, the concert would have gone much faster if you had cut out the boring speeches of the presenter and the long speech of the head of the camp, who was broadcasting something important, but not so much that Rose listened to him.
All participants were greeted and escorted off with standing applause. Although at the same time, some part of the hall was always louder - where the friends of the person who was performing were sitting.
Two girls from Rose's team participated in the competition, so before and after the performance, Rose had to help and support them by clapping louder and more often. Actually, that was the only time she clapped.
When Jennie comes out, the blonde finds herself catching her breath. She herself did not expect how her body would react to the appearance of a roommate on stage. Her palms immediately sweat and start clapping, hard and even painfully. Rose involuntarily grins at the joke that flashes through her head — that volleyball players can clap louder and longer. Although she is not sure that this is the case, but in her mind it sounds so funny that the smile turns into some kind of nervous laughter. Rose suddenly thinks that she is behaving like a fool, and sits down in her seat. Did she get up from her seat? Thank God she didn't whistle or scream like the most ardent fan. Rose feels ashamed of her behavior, but she realizes that no one is paying attention to her because everyone is just as loud.
Then the girl realizes that she was not the only one who got up. Eunchae is still standing and clapping, it seems that Park hears her ardent clapping in the general noise.
-Come on, baby!
Rose looks behind her roommate to look at Irene, who shouted it.
-I love you, come on, make them stop breathing!
Rose already stands up to look at the one who shouted these words. This is Chahee. She takes a seat in the other half of the hall, somewhere in the center. Rose seems to hear Eunchae snorting. This crazy girl is doing what Rose almost did herself. "Love you"? Park bites her lip, clenching her fists, and then nervously wipes her palms on her jeans. Her hands were sweating too much.
-Thanks, girls.- Jennie responds from the stage.- Let's do it!
Rose doesn't believe it. Everyone is screaming. Why is there such love all of a sudden? Jennie didn't even have time to prove herself. Why is everyone so enthusiastic about her? Rose thinks that maybe she missed something? Maybe, while she was busy training, Jennie managed to meet someone else? Yes, she'd been spending too much time with the girls on the team these days, but Jennie seemed to be hanging out with Irene and Seulgi, just like before. Nothing new. And she hasn't seen much of Jennie lately. In any case, if we compare it with the first weeks.
The blonde thinks that Jennie chose a good song to get the audience to sing along. Everyone is singing along because the song is popular. Anyone who sang it would have been echoed in the chorus. Isn't that right? Well, who won't sing along to the song "Who owns my heart"? A
Rose loved this song at the time. The girl sang it for months when she was little. She thinks she was about eight or even seven years old at the time. Everything inside is shaking from the emotions that this fucking chorus causes. She's mad at herself for being mad at everyone who sings along.
The girl claps while everyone around screams like idiots. In fact, she really wants to get rid of this shitty feeling and be loud too, but she can't cope with the feeling that is overwhelming her.
Everyone is asking for more singing. "My God," Rose whispers to herself, trying not to be a complete bitch and not roll her eyes. She catches the eye of Eunchae, who turned around at that moment. Park notices something in her gaze... Yes, it's like an understanding or an epiphany. That's the real shit. The last person in the whole world who shouldn't know what was going on with her was Eunchae.
Jennie also sings the song "Summertime Sadness" and finally conquers everyone. It's not that these two songs are superhypnotic and capable of causing some kind of mass hysteria. But one song was very popular at the time, and everyone knows it by heart, and the second one is just... The second one is just cool. Jennie's voice doesn't sound like Lana's at all, but that's not required. She sings beautifully. She sings in her own way, and Rose admits that Jennie's dream doesn't just have a place to be: she has to do it. Not only does her voice have its own charming feature, like the voices of many singers who are unmistakable, but Jennie is also very charismatic. She is in constant contact with the public, is not afraid of what people think of her, does and says what she wants to do and say. Actually, there are a lot of things in it that can attract people. If the girl opens up even more, then...
Rose bites her lips in annoyance. A lump rises in her throat. For the first time in her life, she doubts the correctness of her position, the correctness of her thoughts. She closes her eyes, listening to her roommate's voice, listening to herself and how angry she is, because she understands how good Jennie really is. But everyone here sees only a part of what Rose herself knows. Jennie certainly has her own shit, and it's incredibly annoying, but it can only infuriate those who are in love with her, like Rose, but that's just her problem. Otherwise, there is too much good in Jennie. No, she thinks that because of her feelings. She is in love and idealizes the girl too much. Yes, she is charming. She sings beautifully. She's being brave, defiant... "Damn it," Park thinks.
The attempt to reconfigure to something else fails, and other thoughts seem to cover it like a wave.
But she's no worse than that. She just doesn't hide behind hypocrisy. What is outstanding about Jennie? Her kindness? All this is hypocrisy. Instead of telling the truth and rejecting, she flatters her ego and cherishes the fantasies of a fucking psychopath, forcing a person to believe that he is something special. Even she doesn't want to listen, but she reproaches Rose for being closed. First she has to learn to hear! And anyway, how can you be such an expert, clearly emphasizing that you understand people, and not see the obvious?
The concert is over. Park doesn't get up. She continues to sit and no longer struggles with the thought that Jennie is overrated. She's angry. She has a lot of reasons to be angry. And she certainly wasn't going to share it with Jennie.
The girl remembers a moment that happened a few days ago. How clever of Jennie to want to get inside her head. If Rose allowed it at the very beginning and was outspoken somewhere, then this is definitely not going to happen now. Admit to being jealous of someone? Admit to emotions that are similar to envy? Should she confess her love to her? Oh, yes, a great prospect. She needs to be open, and Jennie, of course, needs to know all this. Just thinking about it makes Rose cringe. If such a thing had happened, she would have felt completely naked, insignificant. And what angers Rose the most is that no one before Jennie has ever put her in this position. The blonde is sitting with her eyes closed, trying to sort out the chaos of her thoughts.
-You're not too happy about your girlfriend.
Rose opens her eyes. Eunchae is standing in her row, but facing her.
-Fuck off.
-I see it. You see it too. Jennie is wonderful. Everyone can see it. I see how malicious you are. Everyone should see this. You'd like that too, wouldn't you? To be loved by everyone the same way? I was looking at you.
-Shut your mouth.- Rose hisses.
-You're like a wormy apple. No, like a rotten apple. Delicious at first. I also used to think that you were like a normal apple, just a variety that I don't like. She will soon understand what you are like. Sooner or later she will reach the core and throw it away when it sees what's inside.
Rose jumps up from her seat and rushes at the girl. But a row of chairs, which she had forgotten about, prevents her from hitting. Rose starts to leave quickly, Eunchae hurries to do the same, clearly wanting to escape, and not wait for a blow or, moreover, to get into a fight. The blonde quickly catches up with her, punching her in the back of the head and knocking her down. Eunchae falls and starts screaming until Rose, without stopping, pounces on top of her to continue.
-Help me.- Eunchae screams, and in a couple of seconds she would have received a second blow, but Rose is quickly dragged aside.
-What are you doing?- Jennie holds the blonde tightly with both hands, but now Rose is stronger and more determined than ever. Jennie can't hold her back. Struggling, Rose accidentally hits her in the neck with her elbow, and Jennie curses.
Irene catches Rose. Seulgi is helping. Jennie immediately walks around her, blocking the view of the screaming Eunchae. There are already counselors here. And problems cannot be avoided.
-What are you doing?- Kim whispers, her hands shaking, cupping the blonde's face.- Rose.
As if coming out of a trance, Rose freezes. Her gaze is already fully focused on Jennie's face, on a very worried face.