boys don't cry - the cure
☆☾
Remus Lupin always hated his childhood home. Lost in the English countryside near London, it had everything to be perfect. A small living room opening onto a functional kitchen, always a fire in the chimney, a large window that let in light and a huge garden.
He remembers his mother planting flowers in spring, his father working wood in the workbench, the smell of freshly cut grass mixing with the scent of summer which was slow to arrive.
He gets chills just thinking about it. His parents left a long time ago. And since the incident with Greyback, the Lupin family's loving home no longer exists, shattered by the guilt, fear and dread of their werewolf child.
Since then, the house no longer smells of wood, the flowers have wilted and the fire has gone out.
Smoking at his window, Remus brushes his fingertips against the wooden frame.
Homo homini lupus est.
He remembers engraving these words on his fifteenth birthday. He read it in a Latin book that belonged to McGonagall. Man is a wolf to man. He thought it would help him gain perspective on his situation and that he wasn't the real enemy. He thought it would help him hate himself a little less.
Years later, he laughs in front of these words and passes his hand over his face before exhaling the smoke. His eyes rest on a poppy, gently stroked by the wind. Red.
Olivia.
Red like her lips, like her scarf. Like the passion that drives him as soon as he sees her.
14 of April today. Her birthday. He thinks of the red scarf he gave her two years ago. Already.
He hasn't seen her since that Christmas evening. Her look, a mixture of incomprehension, disgust and anger before she slammed the door to 12 Grimmauld Place, he can't get it out of his head.
He never wanted it to happen like this. Once Olivia went back up the stairs, Tonks appeared in the hallway, obviously very drunk. She approached him, leaned against him and before Remus could do anything, her lips were against his. He was about to push her away, but it was already too late.
He stubs out his cigarette on the windowsill but stays for a moment, enjoying the warm breeze on his skin.
The last four months have gone by at a crazy pace. Remus went on mission after mission, sometimes responsible for recovering information, sometimes responsible for patrolling Diagon Alley or the Ministry. He knew that Olivia was placed at Hogsmeade with Tonks.
Remus preferred to stay here and no longer sleep at 12 Grimmauld Place. The rare times he goes there, to see Sirius or for meetings, she doesn't show up. Like a ghost of her presence. Knowing her in the same building as him, on the floor above, without being able to see her and talk to her was pure torture for him. It hurt him physically.
He is far too cowardly to face Olivia again, to face her anger. He couldn't stand it. Not again. Even if he did nothing.
So he flees.
As he did the first time at Hogwarts, as he did in front of his parents to no longer see pity and fear in their eyes, as he did after the first war.
All he can do is run away. He tried all his life to escape from his lycanthropy, but he understood that he could never achieve it. But now it seems there's one more thing he can't run from, and that's Olivia.
No matter where he is, what he's doing, she always finds a way to slip into his head. It's almost visceral. She seems to be his moon which never leaves the sky.
He sighs, closes the window and grabs his belongings. An emergency meeting has been called and he must get to 12 Grimmauld Place as quickly as possible.
Will the moon shine bright in the sky this time?
☆☾
Olivia comes down from her room, her eyes blank. These four months have been awful for her. Despite the height of the walls, it seems it keeps shrinking until it suffocates her. She's been suffocating in this big house since the only person who gives her breath back left.
The situation outside is becoming seriously complicated. The mass breakout from Azkaban and the fact that Sirius was held responsible sent everyone in the Order into panic. Without the help of the Ministry which still does not want to face the truth, they all feel a little lost. Plus, no one knows where Dumbledor is.
So Olivia is counting the days. Mona responds less and less to her letters, and the little information she obtains proves of little use to the Order. She had to share her missions with Tonks, but it seems that the latter always has better things to do. Olivia knows it, she is avoiding her, and she's starting to get a little fed up about it.
She tries to be there for Sirius, who in addition to still being thought guilty, is deeply worried about Harry. The two spend their time listening to music and drinking beers, trying to cheer each other up.
Arriving in the meeting room, she walks towards the only empty chair, muttering a barely audible "hello". She frowns as the smell of cigarettes and chocolate wafts into her nose. She raises her head and meets Remus' gaze already fixed on her.
Her jaw tenses but she can't stop her heart from skipping a beat. She glares at Sirius who winks at her. Usually, as soon as Remus was present at a meeting, he notified her and she stayed in her room. Not this time apparently.
The meeting begins and Olivia finds it hard to concentrate.
"So if I can quickly summarize here", Sirius visibly annoyed, "the crazy bitch Lestrange is outside, Harry's army has been discovered, Umbridge is tormenting the students and Dumbledor has vanished?"
A silence hangs over the members of the Order.
"That's pretty much it yes", Tonks adds.
"Where is Dumbledor?" Olivia dares to ask.
"None of your business, he's busy," Snape retorts, glaring at her.
"Yeah, well we kinda need him now, so if he could be busy here with us."
"What right do you have to talk about the Headmaster that way?" Snape got up from his chair to approach her.
"Aren't you tired of following him everywhere like his fucking little dog?"
Snape is about to raise his arm, wand in his hand, but Remus is faster and blocks his gesture by grabbing his wrist with a firm gesture.
"Don't make me do something you'll regret, Snivellus," he says in a dark voice that makes Olivia shiver.
"Watch your mouth, Marat," Snape adds before disappearing into the chimney.
"Snape is right, Olivia, there's no point in reacting like that. Dumbledor knows what he's doing, whatever it is," Alastor adds, but his words aren't mean.
She rolls her eyes but she knows he's right. "Sorry, I'm a little on edge." She locks eyes with Remus who sits back as she speaks the words.
The meeting ends with all the members more or less tense. Charlie and Tonks stay, while Kingsley, Alastor, Molly and Arthur leave. Olivia is about to go back to her room but she hears screams coming from the living room.
Fred and George are laughing, wiping soot from their clothes. When they see Olivia in the doorway, they run up to her and take her in their arms. The excitement in their voices and the fact that they are talking at the same time makes it impossible to understand.
"Wow," Olivia shouts, trying to make herself heard. "Calm down! I don't understand anything anymore."
They let go of her and try to regain their breath, panting with excitement. They cross their arms at the same time and now look at her with a proud look. The rest of the members joined them in the living room.
"You have before you the new owners," George begins.
"of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, your new favorite store" Fred finishes, in a playful tone, raising his arms in the air.
Everyone looks at each other, taken aback, until Olivia breaks the silence.
"Great, guys! I'm so happy for you, but school isn't done for another two months, I-"
"School is over for us, right George?"
"We always thought that our future lay outside of academic achievement."
"Of course, we left a little present for everyone, and for our dear friend Umbridge," says George with a wink.
The twins tell everyone how they left Hogwarts in a bouquet of fireworks and that they are going to open their dream store with the money Harry left them from the tournament.
"Molly is so going to kill you but I'm happy for you!" Olivia says before hugging them.
She was sincerely happy. It felt good to face some truly good news, and she remembers the happiness she felt when she opened her bookstore.
☆☾
The twins decided to stay for the evening with everyone else, thinking that it was best to delay their deaths for just one more day. Everyone had dinner in a good mood, accompanied by a few beers and the atmosphere is much more relaxed. Olivia was happy to find the twins bringing color back to the old house. She even forgot Remus' presence.
"And a happy birthday to our dear Olivia", Sirius says, raising his glass in the air and winking at the brunette.
She gives him a surprised look and frowns. She manages to forget her own birthday. "How do you know?"
He quickly looks at Remus who looks down and Olivia's heart can't help but tighten. Of course he remembered her birthday.
The rest around the table wish her a happy birthday. Sirius gets up and hands her a small package which she shyly takes.
"What is this ?"
"Open it," he replies, excited.
When she tears the paper, she discovers a lipstick. Red. Just like hers.
"Thank you so much, you shouldn't have", Olivia says before taking Sirius in her arms.
"It was my mother's, I found it in some old things. I immediately thought of you."
She sends him a genuine smile and Tonks pours more beer for everyone.
"Sorry Livie, we don't have any presents for you," said George, pouting.
"No problems, I wasn't expecting any anyway", she replies with a smile, then stops when she sees Fred's head and his seductive look, one eyebrow raised.
Olivia opens her mouth then closes it, frowning, a smile on her lips. "Yes, Weasley?"
"I have a gift for you".
Olivia arches an eyebrow to let him continue.
"An hour of French kissing with me," he says, and Tonks chokes on her beer, "for free."
Olivia sighs heavily. "I would prefer to hex myself," she replies, "for free."
Around midnight, Olivia went to the back of the house to smoke. She needed some time to think of the fact that neither Roger, Mona or Diane were here for her birthday. Hogwarts seemed so long ago now.
She feels a presence behind her but does not turn around. She takes out her pack and lights a cigarette before seeing the smoke dissipate into the black sky.
"Can I have one?" Tonks' voice breaks the night's calm.
Olivia exhales the smoke and hands her the package without even looking at her.
"So she can talk," snaps Olivia. She feels Tonks rolling her eyes.
"Don't make this any harder than it is."
"I'm just stating facts. You haven't spoken to me more than twice since Christmas."
Tonks exhales loudly and sits down next to Olivia.
"I didn't know how to approach you since, you know, Christmas Eve."
Olivia sneers coldly. "And why is that?"
"I was the one who kissed Remus, not him. I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing," she pauses. "He has nothing to do with any of this."
"You're grownups, you can do whatever you want", Olivia responds but the tone of her voice betrays her.
"C'mon, Olivia, stop playing that. No need to pretend with me."
The two women don't say anything for a while.
"The first time I saw you, and saw the way he looked at you, I understood," Tonks said. It seemed like the words hurt her. "No one would stand a chance, really, when you see the way he looks at you."
Olivia swallows hard and takes a long puff. "From that moment I understood that I had to give up on him. I like you, I don't want a guy to stop us from getting along. We're too cool for that."
Olivia smiled. "I don't blame you, you know," she admits, looking into her eyes. "But thank you for coming to talk to me, and I'm sorry. For you."
She sneers. "I'll get over it, don't worry." She holds out her hand to Olivia who grabs it. "Friends?"
"Of course."
Tonks gets up and is about to enter the house again but stops before opening the door.
"Go talk to him, please," she adds, before sighing. "I can't stand his mood anymore, I think I'm going to kill him soon".
Olivia's light laugh disappears with Tonks' footsteps into the night.
Once she has finished her cigarette, Olivia joins the small group in the living room. Everyone is laughing heartily, beer in hand.
"Well, I'm not allowed to go out to party, so I was hoping we could bring the party back here, what do you think?" Sirius asks.
Tonks raises her hands in the air. "I'm in!"
"Of course you are," Sirius replies, giving her a wink. "Besides, we have a really good reason to celebrate, right?"
Sirius walks towards Olivia and grabs her hand to pull her against him. "Music, please!"
George gets up and walks over to the record player and plays the first record he has on hand. Boys Don't Cry from the Cure started playing and Sirius made Olivia dance, spinning her around, singing the lyrics as loud as he could.
On the sofa, Remus stretches his long legs, a wistful smile on his face. Back at Hogwarts, he identified a lot with this song and it seems that nothing has changed, even years later.
He watches Olivia, her dark hair following her movements, her radiant smile, her hips moving, as he lets the words of the song sink into him.
I would break down at your feet
And beg forgiveness, plead with you
But I know that it's too late
And now there's nothing I can do
Now I would do most anything
To get you back by my side
But I just keep on laughing
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'Cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry
"Let's play a game," Fred announces, a bottle of fire whiskey in hand. "We usually do this during Gryffindor parties."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't see the bottle in your hand, Fred," Remus said. "Instead, I'll hold out my glass."
Fred pours him whiskey, giving him a knowing look, then finishes filling everyone's glasses. Olivia takes her place in the small circle that has just been created and accidentally touches Remus' leg with her foot. She instinctively steps back and gives him a quick look, before looking at the ground.
"It's very simple," George begins. "We'll take turns trying to find a truth in someone. If it turns out to be true, you drink. If not, the other drinks. Understood?"
Everyone nods, already quite drunk. Olivia feels heat rise to her cheek and she takes off her vest, and Remus can't help but flinch at the sight of her in her tight t-shirt, revealing her smooth, tanned skin. He swallows hard and takes a sip of whiskey.
"I'll start," Tonks says. "Sirius. I already had a threesome."
A wide smile graces Sirius' face as he takes a sip of his whiskey and everyone gives him wide eyes. He then turns to Fred.
"Fred. I've done it in the Gryffindor common room."
Fred drinks. "That's my boy!" Sirius replies, laughing.
"Olivia. I've dated older men before", asks Fred, a smirk on his lips.
Olivia drinks and looks Remus in the eyes. Sirius and Tonks look down, laughing while Fred and George look at her, wide-eyed.
"Who would have thought that of the silent little brunette from Ravenclaw?" George says, smirking.
Olivia ignores him. "Lupin. I'm a coward."
Remus' jaw twitches as he brings the glass to his mouth before taking a sip, without taking his eyes off her.
The twins look at each other in total confusion while Sirius and Tonks try to make themselves small.
Olivia purses her lips and can't help but think back to Tonks' words a few hours ago.
"Fred, George, follow me, I have to show you something," Sirius says, getting up.
"But we haven't finished the game-"
He glares at them and they end up getting up, followed closely by Tonks who gives Olivia one last look, but the latter is too busy looking at Remus.
Once gone, Olivia downs her glass in one go and places it next to her. "Why did you make me believe for months that you really kissed her?" she finally said.
Remus throws his head back. "She told me everything," adds Olivia. "Tonks."
"I tried to tell you, I-"
"No, you didn't even try."
Remus opens his mouth and then closes it immediately. "Am I worth so little to you that you would leave me in this situation?"
He sighs hard and runs a hand through his hair. He knew how much he had hurt her, again. How badly he had acted.
He ends up looking her straight in the eyes. "You mean so much to me that I don't even know what to do with everything I feel, and I end up ruining it all."
Olivia's back stiffened at his words. "I hate you for what you put me through and I hate myself because after all, I still want to fucking kiss you right now."
Remus tries to stop a grin from forming on his lips and bites his lower lip.
Face to face, their legs are now intertwined, without them realizing it.
"And I hate myself for not knowing how to handle everything you make me feel, Olivia." He pauses. "The only thing I know is that I am irremediably and entirely devoted to you."
Her whole body shivers. She gets up and approaches him, sitting on the ground to be at his height. She runs a hand over his cheek and delicately places her lips against his, a kiss to which he responds ardently, his breathing quickening.
"I'm sorry," he whispers through his lips.
She breaks away from him and looks him in the eyes, before getting up and leaving the room.
This time, she was sure. She had indeed succumbed to Remus Lupin, finding herself trapped between his long hands, his emerald gaze and his lips, and she had to face the facts, even if it hurt, for nothing in the world she would leave.
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Hello ! Just posted this for you before going to work. I hope you still like this story so far, don't hesitate to tell me what you think here --->
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