Y/N POV
Oh man... we got a headache, we got body aches, I got sand on my bare legs... and I'm wearing nothing but undies... wait... what are my pants doing on the bed and... my arm is stuck, the room is dark with the blinds down...
Looking to my left, I'm...
Y/N whispers: AH! F-fuck!
THERE'S A GIRL IN HERE!!! Is it a girl? Yeah, it's a girl, she has boobs... alright... I really did bring someone home. She's... missing a leg... OH WAIT!!! Scratch... this is the Scratch girl I brought home, and she's cute, damn...
Scratch: Mmmmmm... shit... oof...
She rolls onto her back and wakes up, then sitting up just like me with hangover dread all over her face. She looks at me after looking around the room.
Y/N: Hey.
Scratch: Hiiiii...
Y/N: I don't know what happened last night.
Scratch: Me neither... but I think we had sex...
Y/N: You think so?
Scratch: I'm naked, you're naked, the room smells like sweat. I think we had sex, 9-to-5.
Y/N: 9-to-5... hehe... good one, was it a good time, gimpy?
Scratch: Gimpy? Oh... my leg, oh that's a low-blow...
Y/N: Low-blow...
Scratch: Shut up, that is not funny! *Proceeds to laugh*
She slaps me upside the head, then I reach down and grab her leg off the floor, hand it to her. She locks it into the stub that was her old leg and now she's good as new.
Y/N: That was fun though, I mean... I don't remember a lot of it.
Scratch: Of course, you don't.
Y/N: Do you remember any of it?
Scratch: No, but I'm sore afterwards, so something was done right...
Y/N: Do you even remember my name, Scratch?
Scratch: Y/N? Is that right?
Y/N: Bingo, so, what now.
Scratch: Well... seeing as we've talked more than I bet we did last night; I'd say this was a hook-up. I should be heading out.
Y/N: No breakfast or anything?
Scratch: Respectfully, no... I gotta see a friend. Don't be weird.
Y/N: Does your friend, happen to be a pink-haired girl that wears glasses and carries old CDs around?
Scratch goes wide-eyed, which is a definite yes. OH NO!!! I FUCKING DIDN'T!!! I slept with her friend...
I slept around...
with her friend...
Oh my fucking God... you cannot make this shit up. I am so folded bro; I am straight cooked! I AM LITERALLY GOING TO TOUCH MYSELF!!! Wait, that's wrong. What am I gonna do?! My mind starts to race like a fucking salesman trying to sell fucking stairs to a disabled veteran.
Y/N: Well... it was a pleasure anyway, Scratch, you need a ride or something?
Scratch: I appreciate it 9-to-5, but I prefer to walk thank you...
Y/N: We're like all the way across town from Zaun, but... alright.
Scratch: How offensive! How the fuck would you know where I'm from- I'm just kidding, got your ass... hehe... by 9-to-5...
She put her clothes on throughout that conversation and even took the hose that was part of her gas mask. She heads right out the door and to the elevator, and she didn't even steal anything, nice! NOT NICE!!! THAT'S HER FRIEND!!! Ah, if she's as slutty as her, I can only imagine...
No... no... you went in initially thinking this pink-blossom was a goddess, and you will keep it that way, no matter how many times she spills boba on your white shirt. What kind of girl just goes home with a random guy? What kind of guy goes home with a random girl?
Whatever, I don't care, the moment's past, fuck her, I need something to eat. I toss the jacket back in the closet, losing my sand-covered clothes for something more casual.
More slacks, except some comfy slip-ons, business shirt with the sleeves rolled up, partway open to show off the collarbone, hair in fleek, let's do it. I don't know what I'm gonna do today with my free time, but the sunglasses are going on, they block the fuck out of the bloodshot.
Pop some pain relievers before I head out the door and take the elevator down, and I see Scratch turn the corner, she's gone. Knowing my luck, that's definitely not true. I am going to Coffee Home, and I am getting a breakfast sandwich.
Fast forward a quick trip, I just noticed my SS has seen better days, might need an upgrade. Getting out the scratches are noticeable, it's got almost 200k miles on it, only being a few years old, but at the rate I used to travel, it made sense. Fuck it... enough car... I get new car if car go bad...
Sandwich.
Y/N: Hey!
Ben: Hey, welcome back Y/N, ooooh... sunglasses inside... rough night?
Shut up with the pudgy attitude, give me a breakfast sandwich, motherfucker.
Y/N: Yeah, just about...
Ben: Any ladies involved?
Like you would want to know, you nosey bastard.
Y/N: Well, wouldn't you like to know?
I tilt my sunglasses down and we both share a snicker, then I pay for the sandwich and coffee before it's even done. I look over and it's another barista in here, 'bout the size of the other employees that come in and out from time to time, he's hiring a new person almost every week.
Ben: See a roast you want?
Y/N: Hey, see you got another barista...
Ben: Yeah, that's the new girl, Seraphine, oh she's a sweetheart.
Y/N: Oh, yeah?
I watch her bend over to fill up my coffee until I'm about to commit an HR violation, then I look back at Ben, taking my shades off and tuning back into whatever the hell he was talking about.
Ben: -and she just needed somewhere to get back on her feet, so I-
Y/N: Yeah, cool man, cool...
The hair, only in a ponytail this time, but the eyes, the make-up, the pale skin, the legs, all of it was the fucking same, she was only missing the glasses and the laptop bag. her t-shirt was even tied around the top of her skirt like the girl I saw on the sidewalk, under her apron...
Ben: You uhh... you know her from somewhere?
Y/N: Yeah uhh... hmmm... what do you do when you run into a woman, and you see them the next day? I was thinking confronting but... not with a delicate one like that.
Ben: You saying that... that was-
He's a guy, so he's got the lingo, he points over at Seraphine a bit slyly, just folding up a sandwich and then tilting his head back at me. I take my sunglasses off and stare at him honestly with my bloodshot eyes.
Ben: It's a small city, dang.
Y/N: This is gonna sound creepy, and random... uhh... how old is she?
Ben: Not allowed to say that...
Y/N: Who's been coming here since you were only using a mop?
Ben: 23.
That's right, dickhead, know your place. I say it a lot, I know, but besides him having one of the worst e-boy ass voices I've ever heard, he's actually doing me a service. Perhaps he deserves a little more respect... Sighing, looking over at Seraphine, then looking back at him. Also, Sera is IN MY RANGE!!!
Y/N: Sorry, that was a low blow.
Ben: Nah, you're alright. Hey, Sera! I hate to be mean, but I needed that sandwich yesterday!
Sera: Got it, got it! J-just...
Ben: I'm coming... don't worry!
Alright, you lost all my respect, go fuck yourself. He rushes over to help Sera make the sandwich behind the counter and wrap it up the right way. They have a moment, just snickering a little at one another as he's showing her how to do it.
Then, they have that awkward stare that me and her had on the sidewalk. and she even smirks! THAT LITTLE SMIRK!!! OH!!! I hate it. I hate it.
Ben: You got it?
Sera: Yeah, I got it!
She comes over, strutting with a new sandwich and coffee in hand, placing it down right on the counter for me. We're lucky we're some of the only people in this building. She doesn't have time to get a look at me before.
*DOORSLAM!*
Scratch: BEAN-STER!!! THE WORKING GIRL!!!
Y/N: Oh God... ugh...
How does someone's life become a living hell in one day, one fucking day?!
Sera: Scratch! What are you doing here!
The two girls go to the corner of the counter, on the far side, doing some gossip or something while Ben and I just chill there still.
Y/N: Heh... women.
Ben: What?
Y/N: Ah, nothing, you wouldn't get it.
Ben: Oh, alright... Is that all, Y/N?
Y/N: Nope, thanks Ben, you are a lifesaver.
Ben: More like hangover cure...
Y/N: Uhh... yeah, sure!
I plop down on one of the comfy bench seats, phone down on the table. As soon as I'm about to take a bite-
*FIRE RINGTONE!*
Y/N: You gotta be fuckin' kidding me... *Clear throat* Good morning, this is Y/N!
Darius: Hey Y/N, it's Darius, I'd like to ask when the ETA is for the arrival of the hypercharge units we ordered? Oh, and... as well as... a live demonstration done for some of the other military representatives.
Y/N: In the packet that Ezreal left with your legal team, it should contain it all in there. However, quick answer would be 5-to-7 business days. As for the... live... demonstration-
I don't want to mention anything about "weapons" or "military", because I'm trying to impress this girl and I don't know her political views.
Y/N: -who would you have come over and do the demonstration? I sell the thing; I don't think I'm fit to operate-
Darius: We were hoping... either Ezreal or someone from his R&D connections.
Y/N: Tell you what. I can forward you his number over text, got it?
Darius: Got it... long area code?
Y/N: Yeah, he refused to reformat it after the leadership change... I'm sending it now.
I pull up the texting app mid-call and send it right over to him.
Y/N: +34(252)-632-2557
Darius: Thank you.
Y/N: Is that all you'd need today?
Darius: We may still want you to come over to talk some... sales with some of the military as well, you and I both know very well that R&D aren't the biggest at selling.
Y/N: Alright, well, let me know when this meeting is going on and which field this demonstration is going on in, and I'll be right out there, thank you!
Darius: Thanks, bye!
He hangs up and I toss my phone back on the table, shaking my head. I look up and Sera and Scratch both staring at me. I hold up my hand and intimidate a mouth yapping, Sera giggles a little and rests on the counter with her head in her hand.
Now, I'm good at reading people, sometimes, and I can tell Scratch is saying something that's setting her off. I hope she doesn't say that she fucked- alright... never mind... she's pointing back at me, and Sera gets grossed out, not at me but at Scratch. Then they both whisper a little more, finally, Sera gives me a side-eye, and I need to stop staring.
Ben distantly: Listen, Scratch...
Oh, YES!!! He's finally doing something I fucking love other than giving me a coffee! Ben politely tells Scratch to get the fuck out, most likely, saying that he "needs his workers focused", and then that sends Scratch strutting out of the cafe, clip-cloppin' in those giant boots. She doesn't even acknowledge me, which I consider an absolute win.
I finish up my sandwich and just politely sit there, finishing my coffee in peace and scrolling through my phone. Emails, emails, emails, I got a calendar email, so I add it to my calendar, that's for the live demonstration. Emails, emails, emails, Jayce... starting a company softball team...
Old fashioned, but I'll sign up, sure. I'll get Ezreal to do it and then we'll kick ass. He sucks at golf, I'm okay at golf, but we both mob out at softball. We were always asked to try out for baseball by the "health and wellness" teacher when we were just trying to fill our "general education" requirements, but never did.
Looking back up, Sera is still looking, and she tries to go back to work immediately after, but she's been caught, yiiiikes. Wonder how far I can push it, let's see how far this game goes. I stare back at her, while she's working, then when she pokes her eyes up, I tilt my head back down.
I lose enough patience, so I get up and throw out my trash, coming next to the counter.
Y/N: So, Sera, is it?
Sera: I guess you're Y/N... s-sorry I spilled boba on you...
Y/N: That's alright, hey, it gave me just another thing to do.
Sera: Not that you weren't busy already, smoking outside with your co-worker.
Y/N: Oh, no, I don't smoke.
Sera: Oh, never mind then! Ummm... *popping noises*
She makes some cute popping noises with her lip while she stands there, pondering what to say.
Y/N: So, I know better than to talk someone during work hours, but I wanted to talk some music with you, if that's fine.
Dammit, Y/N, now she's gonna think you're into music, which you and I both know that isn't true!
Sera: Ohhh...
I lean on the counter, basically getting whisper distance to her.
Y/N whispers: Listen, I know this is going to sound forward, but I feel like if I don't put my foot down, you're gonna slip away again. I think you're very pretty, and I wanna get to know you. When do you get off work?
Sera whispers: B-buuu... u-uuuhh... m-amem... mee.. umm...
Y/N whispers: You still with me?
Sera whispers: Three... T-three... I-I get off at 3 PM.
I look over at her and she's just staring blankly at the wall, mouth slightly open just full-blushed. Please don't tell me this is her first time with a guy or something. Oh god, it's gonna be a fucking charity case! It's fine, it's fine... Y/N, she's your charity case.
Y/N whispers: Well, what say I pick you up and we go out somewhere? Your choice, my treat?
Sera whispers: Suuuure...
Y/N whispers: Great... see you then.
I nod my head at her, and she's utterly paralyzed. I walk by Ben on my way out.
Ben: What did you do to her?
Y/N: I put my foot down, hey, thanks for the coffee.
Ben: Of course! Have a good one, Y/N!
Sera quietly: Bye Y/N...
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Author's Note:
342526322557 translates to "dickandballs", in case you were curious about why Ezreal's phone number is so long. I am going to sleep. this isnt going to be a one-and-done sort of date, not with this fucked situation im making.