I've never been one to be adventurous. In school I stayed in the lines, I never once got into trouble, and I passed all my grades with flying colours. So, when it came to college applications and I had only enough money to apply to two of the seven dream colleges, I wasn't shocked to see that I hadn't got in to one.
It was a long shot, it always was going to be, but nothing will beat the feeling I felt after working my ass off for the past three years when not one college offered me a scholarship.
Never in a million years would I be able to afford to go to college off my own back, I was relying on a scholarship so when there wasn't one handed to me, my plans crumbled. All of my friends are about to go off to their dream colleges, and I'm staying behind.
In a way, it's a good thing. My mom needs me, and I need her.
My father passed away just two years ago in a car accident, he was coming home from work when my mom rang him, telling him that she had gone into labor with my youngest sister. He crashed, and he was found two days later. My mom gave birth with me by her side, welcoming sweet Eloise into the world where we had no idea where our father was.
We all were in therapy for a long time - my mom still is - I don't think she'll ever get over the guilt that eats at her from that phone call.
And with four kids at home, she definitely needs all the help she can get, so college just wouldn't have worked out at all.
There's me, Aria. Then there's Alexis, she's fourteen - she will send anyone daggers unless you call her Lexi - and sweet Eleanor, she's seven, and then of course, Eloise who is now two years old.
With a house full of girls there's drama and chaos surrounding the four walls we call home every second, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
My dream was to go to college and become a doctor just like my mom, but I know where my place is right now, and there's no timeline on life. I will work just like my mom did to get to where she is right now.
She's one of the top brain surgeons in the country, and sure, you'd think she'd have the money to send me, and the rest of my siblings to college, which she does, but every last penny she earns goes to debt in which our father left us at his death.
We still have money, we aren't in no way poor, but we just aren't financially stable enough for college, and we won't be for another four years, just in time for Lexi to graduate and pick her choices.
So, until I get enough money of my own, I'll be saying goodbye to my friends and wishing them the best time at college while I stay, work and look after my sisters.
I fear it's gonna be a very long year.