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Author Note:
This chapter is dedicated to a sweet and loyal reader.
She may not always comment, but dedicatedly votes for every chapter.
You are my motivation to write.
Ich liebe dich 🫶🏼
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Jungkook let out a deep groan as he hauled himself up on the bar. His muscles bunching in his biceps as his chin touched it for the last set and he let go, landing softly on the balls of his feet.
He hated waking up in the morning but loved to workout. He needed to be pumped up for what the day held in store for him.
Their sessions were to start today.
Taehyung had avoided him since their conversation on Friday. He had barely come home during the weekend and that irked him. He didn't want to drive the older out of his own home. He decided to broach the subject himself today and let him off the hook.
Jungkook was wiping down the equipment when Tae's bedroom door opened and out walked the most beautiful man on the planet. Jungkook could only stare. His eyes raked over the fluffy sleep tousled hair, puffy cheeks and the beautiful honey skin of his bare chest. Every fibre of his being wanted nothing more than to gather the older in his arms and kiss him senseless until every grain of sleep left his body.
Would he ever get used to seeing him like this?
With his harshness all softened by sleep, the cuteness underneath all the bravado peaking through, the pouty lips begging to be kissed.
No. No, he wouldn't. He'd never get used to it. He would always take a moment to appreciate his beauty.
Taehyung sleepily rubbed his eyes and paddled out in his flipflops. He yawned and looked over at Jungkook who looked like he was about to drool, his eyes were wide, his mouth was slack.
Tae frowned.
"Jeon!" He scolded. "You're starting again! What the hell is wrong with you, man?"
Jungkook recovered quickly. "It's not my fault." He whined quietly, going back to the task at hand.
"What?"
"Nothing!" Jungkook wiped down the equipment and locked it in place. He chugged the water from his bottle, trying his best to ignore the other who was quietly setting up the coffee machine. Jungkook walked into his room for a quick shower.
Taehyung set up the coffee machine to brew and perched up on the bar stool of his kitchen island. He had spent most of the weekend gaming with the guys. He had avoided coming home as much as possible because he wasn't ready to face him. The deal was the only thing on his mind. Ever since Jungkook has told him about the vacation, that was all he could think about.
Obviously Jungkook hadn't told his family the truth. He was only 21. If he told his parents that he had married a straight guy while they were both drunk in Vegas, his parents would flip out. Any parents would flip out.
But then, acting like they were a newly married couple in love? Would he be able to pull it off? More importantly wouldn't it make it all seem a bit too real?
Taehyung was still deeply engrossed in his thoughts when Jungkook came out of his room, freshly showered, dressed in a baggy black tshirt and dark cargo pants.
He came into the kitchen, a without a word, he grabbed the apron and started making breakfast. Taehyung watched as he lightly glazed the skillet and threw in sausages. He loaded bread into the toaster and went on the slice up some fruit. The coffee machine dinged when the coffee was ready and Taehyung pulled out two mugs from the shelf and poured the coffee. He carefully carried them to the table and set them down.
Jungkook took off the apron and turned around carrying two plates of buttered toast and sausages, the bowl of fruit was already placed in the centre of the table.
Taehyung looked at the spread and then up at Jungkook.
When had they slipped into a routine? It had barely been 5 days since he had moved in! All of this was so domestic, it was weird but new and yet it felt like they had been doing it for years.
How had this happened?
Jungkook was already seated and had started to dig in. He looked up at Taehyung who stood frozen by his chair, staring down at his plate.
"Something wrong with your plate?" Jungkook asked.
Taehyung swallowed and shook his head, sitting down on the chair, he started to eat.
"Mmmmm...." He moaned with his mouth full. "Amazing"
Jungkook chuckled "It's just toast."
"Can I just hire you as my personal chef?" Taehyung asked while gobbling down the sausages.
"Depends." Jungkook shrugged.
"On what?"
"What would be the terms of my employment?" Jungkook asked.
"You cook, I eat." Tae grinned.
His boxy smile lit up his face and shot straight through Jungkook's heart. Jungkook couldn't help his eyes lighting up like Christmas as he looked at the gorgeous little rectangle happiness on the older's face.
"And payment?" Jungkook asked.
"I'll pay you in compliments." Tae offered while grabbing another mouthful. "And coffee."
Jungkook giggled happily. "Deal!"
The sound was so happy and wholesome. It reminded Tae just how much he had missed it. It took so little to make the boy laugh and yet he hadn't heard that sound even once since he had come to live here.
It did funny things to his heart.
They ate in comfortable silence for a while, before Jungkook asked.
"What time does the session start?"
"Eleven." Taehyung answered, finishing up the last of his breakfast.
"Should we go together or....." Jungkook's voice trailed away.
"I'll drive us." Taehyung deadpanned. He didn't want him to call his boyfriend to give him a ride again. Not while he was still breathing.
"About our talk the other day...." Jungkook started, he had been feeling guilty for cornering Tae like that. It was unfair of him to expect Taehyung to not only join the vacation for two full weeks, but also act like they were a real couple.
"I'll do it!" Tae interrupted him.
"Are you sure?" Jungkook looked at him, unable to believe that he was actually ready to do this.
"Yeah... not like I have a choice, really. And I understand why you would lie to your parents. I would've done the same. If the company wasn't involved, there's no way in hell I would have told my Halmeoni about all of this." Taehyung explained.
Jungkook nodded in return, though he kept his eyes on the plate. Except for the ones who already knew, he didn't want to tell anyone about the truth of their situation. Yet a part of him wanted to scream from the rooftops about them being married, so everyone knew that this fine specimen of a man, belonged to him.
Well, he didn't really belong to him but hey, they still had a year.
Taehyung rose from the table, quickly clearing the plates and loading the dishwasher. He headed to his room to get ready.
Jungkook sat quietly sipping his coffee. He sighed, this was hands down the best coffee he had tasted. He had tried doing it himself yesterday but it hadn't tasted half as good as this, though he had followed everything Tae did. Probably his magic hands, Jungkook thought with a smile.
He could get used to this.
All of this.
The coffee, the banter, the teasing and sharing their meals. It was so basic, the comfort and the domesticity. It made all the pain worthwhile.
He rinsed the cup after he was done just as Taehyung came out wearing a comfortable light hoodie and denims. They grabbed their jackets and headed out.
The car ride was quiet and they were at the councillor's office in no time.
The receptionist ushered them inside after confirming their details. The therapist was a young African-American man who smiled politely at the two of them.
"Welcome. Please make yourselves comfortable." He said gesturing to the large couch. They both seated themselves on opposite ends of it.
"I'm Dr. Nate Osborne." He introduced himself. "You must be Mr. Kim and Mr. Jeon?"
"Please, call me Jungkook. Is Nate short for Nathan?" Jungkook smiled sweetly.
"Nathaneal actually." He replied and then laughed heartily at his wide eyes. "My parents are devout Jews."
Taehyung was surprised. Jungkook was such a people person. Always making friends so easily. He could already see how much more open and genuine the doctor seemed.
"So, you guys decided to file for divorce within one week of being married. May I ask why?" The doctor asked kindly.
"We were drunk when we got married. It was a mistake." Taehyung answered and Jungkook remained silent, looking down and fidgeting with his fingers.
The doctor eyed Jungkook curiously from the corner of his eyes before continuing. "What about a marriage license?"
"It was in Vegas. We got a license on the spot. Actually we were there for our friends but ended up getting married in their place. It was all just a stupid mistake." Tarhyung spoke again. He was irritated, he was sure the doctor already had most of this information.
Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists but said nothing, letting the older lead the conversation.
"What about your living situation? I can see from the court order that you are required to stay together?"
"Yes. He moved into my apartment last week." Taehyung answered, while the doctor wrote some more.
"May I ask how the two of you know each other?" The doctor asked.
"We're friends." Taehyung answered and Jungkook looked at him quickly before turning back to his fingers.
"I see." The doctor said, scribbling in his journal.
"Now, I know that this is a court mandated procedure but I want the two of you to actually make an effort."
"An effort for what exactly? I don't want to stay married." Taehyung announced.
Jungkook swallowed painfully and clenched his fists again. This time however, they did not unclench. He still hadn't looked away from his hands, and the doctor noticed everything.
"And why is that exactly, Mr. Kim?"
"I never wanted to do it in the first place. I'm straight." Taehyung explained, sitting up straighter.
Jungkook's mouth thinned, his fists still clenched.
"But from what I understand, you couldn't file for annulment because you had consummated your marriage?" The doctor asked with a frown.
"It was a drunken mistake!!" Taehyung yelled, standing up.
Jungkook was startled. He looked up at Taehyung with wide eyes that seemed close to tears.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Kim. I didn't mean to offend you. Please sit down." The doctor tried to calm him but Taehyung was far too incensed to listen.
Jungkook stood up and put a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him but Tae flinched away like he was burned. Jungkook backed away, his eyes shining suspiciously.
"Mr. Kim, I understand your frustration. I'm sorry for misunderstanding the situation. Please calm down." Dr. Osborne said looking at Jungkook in concern.
Taehyung took deep breaths to calm himself. "I'm sorry, I overreacted. I'm just really tired of having to explain this over and over again."
"I understand." The doctor nodded in understanding. "Well, since the court has mandated these sessions, we still have to go through them. So, how about we try a very simple exercise for self reflection and growth?" He suggested.
"Okay." Taehyung agreed.
"Jungkook?" The doctor called. "You haven't said anything."
"It's fine, whatever he says." Jungkook replied.
The doctor sighed as he scribbled in his journal again. "Okay, so, do you see the small lockers on either side of you?"
The boys nodded looking around.
"It's a bit unconventional but I find it works out wonderfully in the end. I want each of you to choose an open locker. You will find a diary inside, please bring it with you." The doctor advised.
The two of them walked in opposite directions and looked around to choose the drawer they wanted, Tae returned with a diary followed by Jungkook a few seconds later.
"Please grab a pen." He said pointing to the pens on the desk. "I want you both to write down your feelings about each other or how the other makes you feel." He started but Taehyung was about to interrupt. "Mr. Kim, I know what you said. Please hear me out."
Taehyung sighed and sat back, indicating him to continue.
"You can write whatever you want, be it like, dislike, friendship, compassion, anything you feel, just write it down." Dr. Osborne explained.
"How do you want it? Addressed to whom?" Jungkook asked.
"You can address it to yourself or to each other or me if it helps or you can even do a 'dear diary' thing. It could be a line, a word, a paragraph, whatever you want. It is your safe space, pour out your innermost thoughts in it."
They looked at him and then at each other, none of them writing anything.
"Gentlemen, let me assure you that it will be completely confidential. Even I won't be reading what you have written. It is strictly for your eyes only."
He paused to make sure the boys understood but they still looked a bit sceptical.
"Once you are finished, you can place them back in the drawers and lock them. You can hold on to the keys until the end of the sessions, after which you can have them back. We will continue to add to it every session and then in the end you can go through it all. It will help you see your journey from a different perspective and show you just how much you have grown and changed."
Jungkook nodded in understanding and opened his diary to start.
Taehyung didn't know what to write. He was lost.
"Mr. Kim?" The doctor called drawing his attention.
"I don't know what to write." Taehyung twisted his mouth in irritation.
"Baby steps, Mr. Kim. Just a word should be enough." The doctor assured patiently.
Taehyung nodded and looked back at the blank page in front of him.
How did he feel?
Nothing came to mind.
Taehyung looked at Jungkook as he was scribbling on the page of his diary, his brows furrowed in concentration, his hands gliding over the page as he wrote. He was huddled into the far corner of the couch, as far away from him without leaving the couch, as was physically possible.
Tae instantly regretted pulling away from him the way he had earlier, it wasn't the younger's fault and yet it always happened to be him that drew the short straw. The hurt on the younger's face had shamed Taehyung. He hadn't meant to act out, it had been completely involuntary but it had hurt the boy and Tae regretted it. Not that he could do anything about it now but it did make him feel small.
They had been getting past the rivalry and moving towards a comfortable friendship and he sincerely hoped his behaviour earlier hadn't ruined it.
He watched as Jungkook closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing to write again as if whatever he was writing, pained him.
Taehyung wanted to gather him in his arms and apologise.
So, what did Jungkook make him feel?
Frustrated.
That was the only word that came to mind, so he wrote it down.
'You make me feel frustrated. I never know what to do with you.'
Tae looked up again to see Jungkook still writing and wondered what he had written. Nothing good obviously, he had never made him feel anything other than a nuisance.
Jungkook looked up at that very moment and their eyes met. Taehyung felt electricity shoot right down to his toes from the raw emotion in the younger's eyes, but before he could react, Jungkook's face was wiped of all emotion. He winked at Tae with a tiny smirk playing on his lips. He had finally caught the older staring at him for a change.
Taehyung rolled his eyes. He turned back to his diary before he did something really stupid, like smack him on the head or kiss him into oblivion.
Yeah, he thought, shaking his head.
Frustrated is exactly right.
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A/N: Do you think these baby steps would lead Taehyung in the right direction?
Don't forget to vote.
Borahae 💜
Disclaimers:
Names of teams / mascots / universities/ schools / education institutions have been used only to make the story more authentic. There is no malicious intent behind the usage of the name, neither do my books depict or reflect anything that is even remotely real about these institutions except their names. I hold all educational institutions and providers in the highest regard. Hence no offence or malice is intended.
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