Rainbow's POV
I walk out of the building with a skip in my step. Unusual for me, especially since it was pouring rain outside. Despite the rain, I begin to walk the short journey home with a smile on my face—a smile that even the misery of the rain couldn't wash off.
I've just finished my AA meeting for today, making this my fourth since my first meeting just over a week ago, as well as the first time I've been to one without AJ. Initially, I missed her immensely; I felt so exposed without her, but as the meeting went on, I slowly started to feel okay on my own. Trying to imagine that AJ was next to me helped as well, especially at times throughout the meeting when I felt like I needed her there most of all.
I still don't feel 100% better yet, which does make me kinda frustrated if I'm being honest. I mean, understand things like this take a while, and I have to take it step by step, and Rome wasn't built in a day or whatever. In fact, I was actually talking about this in the meeting today. I guess I had this kind of presumption that I would feel. . .I dunno. . .differently by now. I know that I for sure feel better than I have in a while, but that's honestly not saying too much. Our meeting coordinator, Cheerilee, says that I'm putting way too much pressure on myself and that I'm actually doing a really great job, but she always seems to say that. . .everyone always says that to me. Like, I know I'm awesome and all, but the more people say the same thing back to me, the more it feels like they're just saying it to keep me going. . .like they don't actually mean it. Maybe they know that, deep down, other people being impressed by me is something that I rely on a little too much. The only person who doesn't just flatter me for the sake of it is AJ. Her praise means the world to me; it always has. She makes me feel so good about myself, like I deserve the praise I constantly get from everyone, but something inside me keeps on telling me that I don't deserve any of it. . .like I'm worthless.
This is basically what it's been like for me, for the past few days in particular. An emotional war in my mind. It feels like I have a billion emotions trying to battle for control over my thoughts, and I never know which one of them to listen to, so they all try to take control at once. It's fucking exhausting. I think so intensely about everything—so much so that I have literally just realised I've walked a few doors down from my apartment building. I turn in the other direction and walk back to where I came from. I reach the door and unlock it with my key before walking up the stairs to reach my apartment.
To say I'm excited to see AJ would be an understatement.
"Dash!" AJ comes running up to me as I walk through the door, hugging me tightly to my enjoyment.
"Hey gorgeous." I say quietly in her ear as we embrace.
AJ breaks the hug, taking my hand and leading me over to the sofa as she says, "Come on, look who came by!"
I see Pinkie Pie, Sunset, and Spitfire all chilling out on the couch together. They usher me over to sit with them.
"YAY DASHIE! YOU'RE BACK FROM YOUR MEETING! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!" Pinkie says. . .or I guess, screeches. A few days ago, Twilight got a call from her study partner in Antarctica saying that she was needed back there earlier than she had planned to be, so she had to leave immediately. Sunset was devastated, so Pinkie has been coming over every day ever since to help get Sunset through the sudden pain of Twi's absence. Pinkie has always been good company for her, and she's always fun to have around the apartment.
"Yeah, how was it?" Sunset asks. I look down at Sunset's hand and notice her holding a beer. My face drops immediately, and my eyes grow wide. Suddenly, everything rushes back. Cravings I haven't felt for days—an undeniable need for the bottle in the girl's hand. I freeze up completely; my emotions fighting now more than ever.
Suddenly, I hear a voice from outside the headspace I was trapped in: "Shimmer! Put it away." The voice sounds like Spitfire speaking in her commanding tone. A tone she often uses at practice. I feel my shoulders being rubbed softly.
"Rainbow? Sugar?" She says, bringing me back to a conscious state. I look at her through my rapid breathing. She hugs me once again and says, "It's alright, you're okay," calming my breathing down slowly.
The other three girls make their way over to me, all hugging me over AJ. I feel a lot better in their arms.
"I'm so sorry, Dash. It completely slipped my mind, I-I didn't--" Sunset starts to say as the hug is broken.
"It's fine, Sunset; really, don't worry about it." I reply. "Actually, I have something for you. . ." I continue, leading the other girls over to the couch, with AJ still holding my hand.
"Ooh, I'm intrigued," Sunset says as we arrive at the couch and all take a seat.
I bring the white plastic bag I've been holding onto the table in front of us and take out its contents: a bottle of water, a bag of Doritos, and a small orange tube of medically prescribed marijuana.
"What? How did you--" Sunset says, grabbing the tube with excitement.
"I was referred by my AA coordinator, Cheerilee, to the doctor to see if they could give me something that could help with my cravings. They prescribed me with weed. . .crazy right."
"WHAT! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!" Pinkie exclaims, yanking the tube from Sunset, who retaliates. "
"Okay, y'all, don't fight over it. It ain't yours, it's Dash's," AJ says, looking at the orange tube with concern as she takes it off the others.
"Shit, RD, that's wild." Spitfire says with a smirk.
"I know, right." I reply as AJ seemingly examines the tube, a troubled look still on her face. "You okay, AJ?" I say to her, amused.
"Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm. . you sure you should be taking this Dash?"
"I mean, the doctor prescribed it to me. I dunno, maybe it'll help."
". . .alright. If it's gonna help you, then I guess it's fine," she says, unsure.
"Hey, if you're not gonna take it, I will." Sunset adds, making herself and Pinkie chuckle.
"How 'bout you take some now, RD?" Spitfire says.
"And. . .possibly. . .we can maybe. . . you know--" Pinkie continues in a calmer, withdrawn tone of voice than usual.
"Ugh, you guys are so annoying. Fine." I say, giving in after little persuasion. It'll probably be more fun if I take it with my friends anyway, so I don't put up much of a fight.
"YES!" Sunset and Pinkie scream in unison. Pinkie I'm not too surprised at, but Sunset isn't usually one to scream in a Pinkie Pie sort of way. Although the only times I have heard her scream are when weed is present, maybe a way of letting her excitement out before she falls back into her overly chilled out state.
"You sure, RD? Only do it if you want to." Spitfire says to my comfort.
"Yeah, why not? I'll enjoy it more with you guys anyway."
Sunset and Pinkie start rolling the joints for the five of us. We each take ours once it's rolled. Sunset and Pinkie light up theirs in no time. Sunset hands one to AJ, who takes it awkwardly between her fingers. She then places it in the palm of her hand, holds it between her ring and middle finger, and places it back in her palm, looking incredibly puzzled by the joint, as if she's never held one before. I grin at her confusion, entertained by her fumbling.
"Having fun there?"
She looks at me with a hopeless sigh, giving up her pretending. "I'm making it that obvious, huh?"
"Here." I take the blunt from her palm and place it back between her thumb and index finger. "I didn't know this was your first joint."
"Yeah, well, you've always had a bad influence on me." AJ says as Sunset passes the lighter.
"Now you're one of us." I say in a laugh.
"You make it sound like I'm joining a cult or something." We both laugh.
Before I light the joint, I wanna make sure AJ's 100% okay with it. "Are you sure you want it?" In ask.
Spitfire butts in as AJ is about to reply, "Hey, if you don't want to smoke, then I don't mind staying sober with you, AJ." Spitfire says, making both AJ and I smile at her selflessness.
"No, no, don't worry about it. Thank you, though. Hey, first time for everything, right?" AJ replies.
"That's the spirit." I say.
I light AJ's for her before I light my own. Spitfire lights hers too. A sudden cough appears from AJ; her body shocked at the intake. I chuckle at her innocence; she looks so unbelievably cute.
I hand her my bottle of water and say, "Drink this. It helps." I say. AJ rushes to drink the water, calming her coughing down slightly.
"So, RD, ready for the game on Wednesday?" Fire says.
"You know it. I'll bring this one along too; her cheering can keep us going." I reply.
"Coach knows about your meetings and everything, doesn't he? Make sure to let him know if not." She adds.
"Yeah, yeah, he knows. He's cool with everything." I reply. I told coach about everything the other day. I wan't really surprised at his support because he has been known to pick favourites, Spitfire and I being favoured by him especially. He did seem to have some knowledge about my drinking though. I'm not too sure how; maybe Soaring, Fire, or Lightning told him. If I know Fire though, she would've only told him in support of me, maybe warning him not to push me so hard or get mad at me if I seemed a bit out of it.
"That's good. I hope it's okay, but I did make him aware of your meetings. Just so he doesn't say anything to you if you space out or something, you know, after what happened at the party and all." She says my predictions being proven correct, as they usually are.
"Thanks, Fire; I really appreciate it." We share a sincere smile, just before the high starts to kick in.
Sunset suddenly gets up and walks into my room. I give a delayed exclamation, "Sunset, what are you doing?"
"I'm getting your speaker!" She shouts from the room, and fumbles are heard as she rummages through my mess. She comes out after a few minutes and plonks the speaker onto the floor, connecting her phone and playing a playlist of her favourite indie rock tracks. A perfect soundtrack to our bliss.
Spitfire starts to giggle unexpectedly. Pinkie Pie joins in after a beat. Spitfire is looking down at her phone, having seen or read something that has clearly amused her. Pinkie, however, seems to be laughing at absolutely nothing.
"What are you guys laughing about?" I ask.
"I have no idea; I just like to laugh." Pinkie says, chiller now she's been hit with the high.
"And you?" I look at Fire.
She notices my, and now everyone else's, intrigue. She puts her phone away, hoisting herself up slightly to reach her back pocket. "Nothing. . .just a message."
"Who from?" AJ asks, looking at her with a cheeky smile.
Spitfire scoffs, "Just Gilda. You met her at the party, the girl with brown hair."
"Oh Gilda. . .I see. . ." AJ says, widening her grin and looking at me directly. Both of us thinking the same thing as I have informed AJ in the past about Spitfire and Gilda's. . .relations. . .
"What!" AJ and I start to laugh at Fire's reply, "Ok, so I like the girl, big deal. . ."
"You're adorable, Fire." I say to her in jest, knowing how much she'll hate it.
"Yeah, whatever. Not like we hooked up or anything. . ." Fire says in a tone that makes it seem more obvious than anything that she's lying.
AJ immediately picks up on it and says, "Ooh-we! You don't mess around, do ya!"
"Damn Fire, really! When?" I say, happy that my friends I've always known have liked each other have finally started to realise their shared feelings. Much like how, I assume, my friends feel about AJ and I getting back together again.
"It was actually at the party. After you guys left."
My excited expression drops slightly. However, before I had enough time for my brain to go back into its usual thinkspace trance, I feel AJ's arm wrapping around my shoulders, pulling my body slightly into hers as I feel the warmth of her chest up against my back.
"Wow, well thats impressive, Spitfire!" AJ says, carrying on the conversation as normal as to bring less attention to my slight dip in mood. I appreciate her so much, she somehow always knows what to do to help me; hold me tight and not draw much attention to me. She know me so well and I love her for it.
"Sorry Twilight and I couldn't make it by the way. I never apologised for that." Sunset says.
"That's cool." Spitfire replies.
"Yeah, you guys were. . .busy. . ." AJ says in a telling tone, raising her eyebrows at Sunset who suddenly looks incredibly panicked as she comes to a point of realisation.
"WHAT? YOU KNEW!" She shouts at AJ who bursts out into a contagious laugh, causing the rest of us to laugh with her as we settle into our high.
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A few hours have passed and the early afternoon had turned into an early evening. Spitfire left about half an hour ago and Pinkie has decided to stay the night. Not like she had much of a choice though, since her and Sunset were completely crashed on the couch. They both had a lot more weed than Fire, AJ or I, so I'm not too surprised that they were out of it. In fact, I wouldn't even be that surprised if they were still high in the morning with the amount they had. Mine and AJ's highs had worn off about twenty minutes ago, a few cans of Coke and a couple glasses of water later, we are both feeling completely fine.
AJ and I stand over the two of them, her looking mildly annoyed, but somewhat entertained at the sight, while I was very visibly enjoying what I was seeing as a small giggle came upon me.
"Wow, guess they enjoyed their trip." AJ says after a quick scoff.
"Pinkie Pie? More like Pinkie High!" I joke, awfully, making me giggle harder at the sight.
"God, that's terrible." The girl says joining in with my laughter.
I felt so much love surround me. Not just AJ's love, but the love from my friends as well. The support they have given me recently has been incredible, more so than I could've ever wished for. Maybe I'll never be 100% better. But you know what, I do actually feel a whole lot better than I did before, especially now I know my friends have my back. I feel 30%. . .10%. . .maybe about 20% better.
And that's okay.
Just as I was lost in my headspace once again, AJ's phone started to ring from her pocket.
"Who's calling me at this time in the evenin'?" She says as our laughing calms down.
She reached inside and put the phone to her ear, answering the call.
"Yello. . ." her face drops all of a sudden, ". . .what. . .just calm down. . .let me explain. . ."
A/N
A visual for that last part lol
ALSOOOO LOOK. . .
Fuel to my Spitfire fan club - by RammyJrPainter on Deviantart (love his eg adaptations go check them out)
I wrote most of this chap outside today and a pigeon literally flew into my face. I love my life sm.
ALSO SORRY FOR THE FEW DAY WAIT!
OKAY BYE BBYSSSSS 🫶