(Your POV)
I was just finishing my run. I stopped to get some coffee for JJ, Amelia and myself. I got my order and ran back to Amelia's house.
I walked in and saw them both sitting on a couch with weird looks on their faces. Amelia looked slight hurt and mad, yet JJ looked concerned and confused.
„Who died?" I asked handing them their coffee.
„Mom's here," Amelia said quietly, „In the backyard."
„What?" I asked with clear shock on my face.
„She was looking for you," Amelia told me.
I took a second before saying, „Alright then. Come on JJ. Get the kids, we're leaving," I said.
Just as Jennifer got up, my mother came back, „What's the rush?"
I looked at her, „No, I'm not doing this right now."
"Well you wouldn't have to if you bothered to return any one of my phone calls," she said.
"I don't even have your number. We gotta get to work, bella," I said looking at JJ.
„Work," she scoffed, „I'll make this quick then. Your father is looking for you. He thought someone killed you but I figured I'd check if you're maybe in the states."
I shook my head, „What? Daddy misses me?" I scoffed.
„Admit it or not, he's a loyal man," she said.
„Cut the bullshit now, you don't even like the man. And he's only loyal because it's the right thing, surly it's not out of love. Why do you care, anyway? You didn't care when your other daughter died."
„And who's fault is that, huh?" She said.
„Mom!" Amelia yelled.
„Am I wrong?" She asked Amelia and looked back at me, „It's not that surprising. You've always been impulsive, you don't think things through or the impact they're gonna have on other people. You just do whatever the hell you want."
„How could you know how I've always been? I haven't seen you since I was seven years old," I scoffed.
„I'm your mother. I know you. You concoct these preposterous stories to cover the truth that inevitably surfers and if you're really clean now, we can't blame the drugs," she said.
„You just proved my point. I never once did drugs in my life. That was Marcella but who the hell cares right? You didn't come to her funeral either because why bother? One of us is still here, why give a fuck which one," I said.
„It's not my fault your sister couldn't handle the world without substances," she said.
„You left her alone," I yelled, „It is your fault."
„I left her with you," she said.
„I was seven," I whispered, tears now burning in my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall, "I was a child."
"It made you stronger," she said.
"She was a kid," Amelia said, "She didn't need to be strong. She needed to be protected and safe."
„Amelia, back me up here," she turned to look at her.
„Get out," Amelia said, tears in her eyes too, „Get out of my house."
Our mother scoffed, „Good luck playing house," she said and left.
I ran my hand through my hair taking a deep breath before sitting on the couch.
„You okay?" I asked Amelia.
She sniffled and nodded, „Yeah," she whispered.
I took her hand in mine and squeezed it before turning my head to look at JJ.
„Half sisters. She took Amelia and left Celie and I. Never looked back. Derek, Nancy, Kathleen and Liz were already in college when I was born," I said, rather nonchalantly cause I don't have it in me to have a heart to heart conversation about this.
She just looked at me and didn't say anything.
„I'm sorry," I whispered.
„What for?"
„That you had to see this. And for not telling you about Amelia. God I feel like I say this a lot lately," I said.
„I'm, I mean I am in shock. I have so many questions but you don't have to apologize. I get it, family is messy. With what you already told me I don't blame you. I just wish I found out about this on your terms and when you're ready, not like this," she said.
„Me too," I whispered, „Alright, give me the questions."
„Why didn't you tell me Amelia was your sister?"
„Uh, same reason I didn't tell you I am a doctor. She made it, there was a way out. I didn't want you to think I didn't want an out," I said honestly.
She nodded, „You said your mother died when you were born?"
I shook my head, „We never talked about my mother. But it is possible that Emily told you that. That's what she was told, anyway. That's the official story."
„Right, she said that before I met you in that bar," JJ said.
I nodded, „I'm gonna take a shower," I said before getting up and disappearing behind the door.
(JJ's POV)
Some time ago I said I felt like I was on a rollercoaster. Well this is a whole different level. Wherever I look there's something new and it's worse every time.
I knew Francesca didn't have a normal, boring life. I expected a lot of things, we profiled a lot of mafia members. But here it's not only that, it's also her family adding up to that. I can't imagine everything she must've gone through.
I knew she had some issues. But now I'm starting to see that she must have a lot of trauma after all of that. She's definitely got more than her fair share. I am more and more amazed by the person she is right now despite all of that hatred and cruelty and violence she experienced.
I looked at Amelia, „How is she fine?"
She wiped her eyes, „Honestly? I have no idea. She's Francesca, she's always fine I guess."
„I am hurt by just witnessing what happened here," I shook my head, „What can I do? For her?"
„Just be there and be patient. She won't admit it but this was a lot even for her, seeing our mother after almost twenty years. She might spiral. Don't let her push you away, or pretend that you're letting her but keep and eye on her anyway," she said.
„I just wanna take it all away from her. I wanna make it stop," I said.
"You are. She's really happy with you, I can tell. But the spiraling never goes well, might be hard for you too," she told me.
"I can take it," I assured.
She nodded, "She left them when they were seven. We have different dads, mine died when I was a kid. She said they were evil's spawns because of theirs. He wasn't that bad when he met our mother, or he just didn't show her but when the twins were born he thought she wouldn't leave him so he showed her the real him."
"But she did leave," I said.
"Yeah," she whispered, "She took me with her and kept us away from each other. Then I got older so she couldn't keep me in the house anymore. I'd spend every second I could with them. With time I felt guilty that I was living somewhat a good life while they were," she trailed off.
I nodded, "Survivor's guilt. Happens a lot."
"And because of that instead of helping them I added to it. I started using. They saved me. Chessie literally pulled me off of my friend's roof. She saved my life. After that she helped me get my shit together and helped me get into med school. And then you know about Marcella using too. Chessie even took care of Declan when Ian was too busy doing whatever. She took her friend in when he had nowhere else to go," Amelia said looking at the ceiling.
I just shook my head with tears in my eyes. Amelia was barely holding it together too.
"She didn't meet our other sisters. They didn't wanna know her and to be honest it's better that way. She did meet Derek though. Both of them did. They adored each other. He tried to help in any way he could. Then he died too," she cried.
I moved to sit closer to her and took her hand.
"She did everything she could to make sure everyone else was okay. She'd move heaven and earth," she said.
"She made sure everyone else was okay, but never stopped to make sure she was too," I said.
"Yeah. After med school we haven't seen each other until she got admitted to my hospital. Only at the funerals. I think it was too much for her, seeing me live her dream. I know she was happy for me but I don't blame her for resenting me a bit too. After Celie died, we were sure we lost Chessie too. Derek and I did. Then he was gone," she told me.
"Seeing someone live your dream while being stuck in a shithole can't be easy," I nodded, "Hey, uh, she said your mother didn't go to Marcela's funeral?"
"She didn't. I begged her to go but she just didn't care. After the funeral she asked me which one it was. I never talked to her after that," she told me.
"Oh my god," I whispered, not trusting my voice.
My heart literally broke for her after only hearing that. I can't begin to image how she must feel and what's going on in her head. Amelia started crying and I couldn't keep it in any longer either. Tears started falling freely down my cheeks, I'm not even sure why.
Was it the thought of what Fran must be feeling? Was it taking all of it into me so she wouldn't have to carry it alone? Was it all this new information over the last few days? Or was I just overwhelmed? Or maybe all of it together.
(Your POV)
I dried my hair with a towel a little and went downstairs. I saw both Amelia and JJ sitting on the couch crying.
I threw the towel on the stairs, looking at them.
"Did something else happen?" I asked.
"No," JJ whispered.
"I told her," Amelia said, "I'm sorry, I just. She needs to know. You can't carry it alone anymore. You gotta let someone in and let them do for you what you did for everyone else or it's gonna haunt you forever and you won't make it."
I nodded and sat next to JJ, "Please don't cry," I whispered.
"It's not because of you. I'm just, I'm really sorry, Fran. I'm sorry that your family wasn't there for you. I'm sorry you didn't get what you needed. I'm sorry for what your parents did. I'm sorry for your siblings. I wish I could just take it all away from you," she said.
"You do just that and then some. You can't erase what happened, but you sure as hell do make it better. If it wasn't for that I would've never met you. I'd say it was worth it," I said.
"I don't know how you can be this positive. I'm wrecked just hearing about it," she said.
"What else do I have left?" I asked and pulled her into me wrapping my arms around her.
"We're okay, Jayje. I love you. You know all of me now. You've already done so much for me, I don't know what I did to deserve you. You helped me find who I really am. You gave me a home and a family. You showed me what love looks and feels like. You are an angel," I said holding her tight.
Lots of tears fell from her eyes after I said that. I kissed her head and rubbed her arm.
She sniffled, "I should be the one comforting you right now, not the other way around."
"You'll get your chance. It hasn't really hit me yet," I said.
"You have a family here now, okay? Me, the kids, the team, Amelia. If your parents didn't appreciate you that's on them. You're the best person I've ever met and you deserve everything and more in this world. And I'm gonna spend the rest of my life showing you that. You have your family now. Blood doesn't matter, love matters," she said.
"Oh my god," Amelia said, "Like I wasn't already messed up you had to come out and say this now," Amelia said, wiping her eyes which was really pointless by now.
JJ and I chuckled, I raised my arm the one that was not holding my girl, "Come on. That family she's talking about is yours too. I wouldn't have it any other way."
She moved to my other side and I pulled her in too.
"That doesn't happen often. You and physical contact I mean," Amelia said.
"Really?" JJ asked.
"Yeah. She just has a soft spot for you."
"I'm still here," I said.
We all laughed. I'm not gonna say I'm glad my mother paid us this little visit but I am glad that JJ knows everything now. It's so much easier that way. I don't have to be afraid of slipping up and she's still here. She didn't leave. She loves all of me and I thank god for her everyday. That's not how I thought this morning would go but honestly? I'm happy. I feel like more than anything it brought us closer. And I'm braking the cycle.
(Song - Matilda by Harry Styles)