Marci
I swallowed a sob as I stepped off of the bus and began walking towards Tommen beside Shannon.
I'd spent a week at home to take care of Mam, who had already returned to work since her miscarriage.
While the loss of my baby brother rested in the pit of my stomach, the dilemma of what I was going to say to Ethan today weighed down on my chest unbearably. The anxiety was so formidable that it was crippling me.
For the first time in a very long time, I was dreading school, but as per usual, I was trying to look at the bright side of things. The positive in this particular situation, was that I wasn't at home, and I was eternally grateful for that.
Despite my father's leave of absence after his argument with my mother, he had weaseled his way back into our life, using the miscarriage as his excuse.
He had returned the day she got home from the hospital, full of promises for sobriety, which were quickly broken, but who was even surprised.
It had taken him all of three days to get back into my mother's likings, and four days to throw his first punch.
Joey was the unfortunate victim of my father's fist on Wednesday, and he was now sporting a dark shiner for his troubles.
Mam had been distant since the loss of the baby, meaning I was taking full care of Sean while Joey worked extra hours to make up for the loss of Mam's.
I wasn't at all opposed to taking care of Sean, especially considering I had done it for such a long time when he was just a baby. Mam had a horrific case of postnatal depression with Sean, so much so, that she refused to even touch him, nevertheless nurse him. I spent almost the entire first year of Sean's life taking care of Sean solely.
He had called me mama when he was only eleven months, and I had nearly cried. Sean was the sweetest thing, and I wouldn't ever let my anger towards my mam taint my relationship with him.
However, when Sean had turned a year, my mam took a sudden interest in him, and had grown horribly jealous at his fondness towards me, so much so, that I didn't seen nearly as much of Sean for the following year.
Lately, my mam had slowly been laying more of Sean's care taking on my shoulders, a process that was sped up rapidly by her miscarriage.
Sean had thrown a hell of a fit when I lad to leave for school this morning and I felt immensely guilty for leaving the sobbing toddler on the doorstep of my house.
I became even more regretful about the decision as I stepped into the front doors of Tommen and was immediately met with Ronan McGarry, the asshole who had been staring me down- or should I say staring down my shirt- for the last month. I still sat across from him in math, and I'd heard rumors from Ethan about him pestering Shannon, which had diminished my patience towards him completely.
Ronan was standing to the left of the school entrance, clearly waiting for my arrival, as he quickly fell into a walk beside me.
"Hey Marcella" he greeted, tossing his arm around my shoulders which earned a flinch of pain and a soft greeting from me.
"Been waiting for you to come back" he stated, clearly having noticed my absence. "Missed seeing a pretty face in the halls"
Okay Mr super senior. I thought as I internally rolled my eyes when he dropped his hand down to my waist and slowly began to sink it closer and closer to my butt.
"Yeah, had to stay home for a little while" I mumbled some lame excuse while I desperately searched the hallway for someone I knew before he managed to sink his hand down to my behind. I decided to turn into the commons, in the hopes to increase my odds of seeing a friend- heck- literaly anyone but Ronan.
He gave me the creeps.
My gaze settled on Lizzie, who was wearing pants and a polo shirt, with her hair pulled back into a slick ponytail and a red lip.
She looked gorgeous as per usual.
Lizzie was the type of girl who was effortlessly gorgeous, one day she might wear her school skirt with a full face of makeup, and others she might show up in pants and a sweatshirt, but her beauty never faltered.
Her long blonde ponytail was pulled onto her shoulder as she stared across the hallway at Claire's big brother- uhh... Hughie!- and his red headed girlfriend.
I knew that Lizzie had something for Hughie, I mean- it was so obvious. The lingering stares, constant outbursts, and somebody had to be keeping her together. Maybe just the hope of Hughie was what was keeping her running.
I immediately made a beeline for Liz, really just wanting to get away from Ronan, and eternally grateful that Ethan wasn't here yet, which was notable by Gibsies absence as well.
She didn't move her gaze from the chattering couple across the lounge, even as I fully walked over to her, Ronan sadly following behind me.
Well that didn't work- "Fuck off Ronan, she doesn't want you" Lizzie snapped, turning towards him and sending him a sharp glare.
"How do you know that" he pressed, not taking no for an answer.
"She's right Ronan, I don't uh- want you" I said, tucking myself closer into Lizzie's side as Ronan stormed off.
I honestly probably should have had some sort of guilt for my lack of manners, but the thought of Ronan picking on poor Shannon diminished any possibility of that.
"I thought you said he'd been leaving you alone?" Lizzie asked me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder as we sat down on one of the couches in the lounge.
"He was- will" I responded, tucking my head into her shoulder "Once he stops thinking with his balls and starts using his brain"
"He won't possess a pair of balls to think with if he doesn't leave you alone" she countered, bending her wrist tugging her sleeve down to cover what I was sure was a set of fresh cuts.
Lizzie had issues, lots of them, but I always felt awful for her. Why couldn't anyone see past those to see who she really was?
Lizzie was my favorite friend- Ethan didn't count he was uh... i don't know- not a friend- but also not not a friend?
Lizzie was my favorite of my little friend group with Shannon, Claire, Liz and I. Even Abby, who I had become close with in the past month.
Lizzie had jagged edges, that tended to cut those around her, but I could handle that.
I had stuck around for Liz, even until now, when nobody else did.
I think that maybe I was Lizzie's favorite person too- except for her friend but not friend- Hughie.
It was important to me that Lizzie knew she was my favorite, that someone cared, because I was sure that it mattered to her, even if she yelled at me every time I called her my best friend.
"So Liz- when are you gonna spill about Hugh" I teased, looking up at her and waggling my eyebrows. Lizzie stiffened at my words, and averted her gaze from mine uncomfortably.
"Well um- I don't know what you're talking about- but- uh- me and Pierce had sex" she changed the subject casually, blowing my mind.
"Oh my God! You lost your virginity to Pierce!" I squealed, poking her leg teasingly.
She smacked her hand over my mouth. "Christ Marc- say it a little louder, I don't think they heard you all the way in Dublin."
"You lost your virginity to Pierce" Johnny stated jokingly in his thick Dublin accent as he walked toward the exit of the commons, Shannon at his side.
"Damn Marc- nice going you thick headed numbskull" Lizzie snapped.
"You can numb a skull?" I questioned, tapping on my head to see if I could feel it. "Ah- Christ Liz- I can't feel my skull- you need to fix it. Please Liz, Please!"
"You're proving my point" she sighed, "And don't get all excited about Pierce, he took it in the back of his car, and it hurts like hell Marc, don't ever lose it. It sucks." she rambled, wrapping her arm around me tighter.
"Oh" I winced "Back of a car huh".
"Yep" she responded, popping the p'.
"Oh and Liz?" I asked curiously, pulling from her arms to look up at her.
"Yeah?"
"I love the new look. The red lip? It's working wonders for you" I complimented, tucking my head back into her arm.
Lizzie didn't respond for a second, she didn't seem to know how to respond to a compliment very well, something I had noticed.
"Thanks Marc' - really."
"No problem Liz... also!" I gasped excitedly as I reached into my backpack and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie, handing it to Lizzie.
I'd brought the cookie to give to Ethan, but I'd brought an extra for Liz, since she hated mornings.
After I'd packed Lizzie's cookie, I'd felt bad that I didn't grab a cookie for Claire and Shan, so I grabbed two more- plus one for Abby of course. Then I realized that since I was giving a cookie to Ethan, Gibsie would want one, and if Gibsie wanted one, then so would Johnny. I'd continued this dumb banter with myself until I had twelve cookies in my backpack, which were surprisingly heavy.
"Thanks Marc'" Lizzie flashed a rare grin as she accepted the cookie and stood up off of the couch as the warning bell rang, signaling we had ten minutes until our first class began.
Lizzie pressed a grateful kiss to my cheek and I beamed in excitement, knowing that her lipstick was not transfer proof and I was now rocking a kiss print.
We walked out of the commons together, and I felt like maybe today was gonna be okay.
Then he walked in.
★・・・・・・★
Authors Note
Hey y'all i'm back- school week is over so i'm way less depressed. Anyway- go ahead and blow a kiss to the sky tonight for me- I promise that has meaning.
Ily all sm (Your so loved! ❤️)
Shout out to likeabloodstain
- Kat
WC- 1749