Heyo human beings from outer space!
A few things for today! First: this was requested by A_wolf_from_Lothal (stupid tags) Second: it is about ADHD and I DO NOT have ADHD. I did my research, but I still feel super unqualified so expect mistakes. Third: I am SO sorry this request took me so long, I was super paranoid about it being inaccurate :(
Fourth:
Read on if you dare.
"Sit still, Ahsoka."
Ahsoka tried. She really did, but she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried. Sitting still made all her limbs tingle and her skin got all prickly and stuffy under her robes and—
"Miss Tano! Be still!"
Ahsoka froze, the eyes of the other younglings burning through the back of her head. She stared at the floor in front of her. But a moment later, she was back to bouncing her crossed legs.
"She's a child, and one who is used to running free and hunting nonetheless," Master Plo told her instructor, saving the day. "This is to be expected for the first meditation lesson."
Her instructor looked less than pleased, probably because the other younglings weren't rustling their cloaks loudly like Ahsoka was. But her instructor left her be. After all, every child was fidgety at this young age.
///
"Ahsoka, how about you answer this question?" said her instructor, gesturing to the black board.
Ahsoka squinted at the letters written on the board. They were loopy, almost like flower petals that fat bees would hobble around on before going back to the hive. She'd heard of bee farmers before, and she wondered if it was expensive. The Jedi allowance would definitely not cover the price, since they weren't given much. But the Temple was so lavish, they had to have a lot stored somewhere. So how did they get the money? Donations? Fundraisers? A picture of Mace Windu scrubbing windows for a fundraiser popped into her head, and—
"Do you need a hint on the answer?" The instructor's voice snapped her back to reality.
Ahsoka blinked hard. "Um... uh..."
The instructor shook his head at Ashoka. "How about you, Shalda?"
A purple-skinned girl in the front of the class chirped back with an answer Ahsoka never caught. She was too busy stewing in shame. She'd always been the "bad" student, one who caused trouble and never did her work right.
But she never meant any of it. She wanted to take loads of notes and listen to every word of her instructors and do all her work perfectly. Determination rippled through her.
Determination that quickly fizzled away when her instructor passed out the assignment. She started out with a brow furrowed with focus. Then her brain started reeling and the next thing she knew, the paper was absolutely covered in random doodles.
Another day where she got to be the difficult kid, and her teacher looked down at her with a shaking head and disappointment painted over every feature.
///
Anakin didn't really know what a normal kid should do with their room, but he was pretty sure it wasn't... whatever his new padawan did.
He'd meant to talk to her about something, but it'd left his mind as soon as she gave him permission to step inside. Her bed was perfectly made— all tucked blankets, crisp corners, and no wrinkles. But there were random robes and school supplies scattered all over the floor, even if her desk wasn't too cluttered. The strangest part of all, however, were the walls.
Covered in post-it notes.
Every possible color of little square was pasted somewhere on the wall, scrawled with a few hasty words here or there. Some had random doodles. Anakin frowned as he squinted at the sight.
"What are these?' Anakin asked his padawan, who eyed him almost distantly.
She blinked at him. "What?"
"The notes. What are these?"
"Sticky notes," Ahsoka said, peeling one off the wall and rotating it around before sticking it to her desk chair.
"Um, why?" Anakin asked. All he could think of was something a serial killer would do in a holofilm. Or a detective. But she was missing red yarn. "It's kinda... freaky."
She scowled at that and plucked another note off the wall. "It's not freaky. They're all just notes. So I remember to do things. I always forget if I don't write it down."
"And you stick them... anywhere?"
"I guess I just put them where I can see them." She shrugged.
"Huh. Well... have fun with your serial killer plotting, I guess."
Anakin never remembered what he went in there for. All he knew was that he had questions... more than a few.
///
Ahsoka hated when people were watching her.
Namely very important people who were surveying her super closely and judging her every move. And there was a lot more movement than what there should've been.
Master Kenobi's eyes were prickly on her skin even when she couldn't see him. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on meditation. She knew his eyes were there and they itched. It made her even more fidgety than normal, and she was too old to use the excuse that she was a kid with too much pent up energy.
If only she was still a kid, and she could run through the grass and the sand and Anakin seemed to hate sand but she never understood. It was soft and sometimes slippery when the water touched it, and who would chose another drink over water, because water was so refreshing but she supposed if it was alcoholic made your mind feel all wiggly like jello, which was the oddest food in the world by the way, since it was so slimy like sugary slugs, but at least it wasn't hairy like caterpillars, and maybe caterpillars get sad to lose all their hair or maybe it's a relief to—
"Ahsoka, do you struggle with focusing?"
She snapped back to reality so violently it gave her brain whiplash. She blinked a few times and found Master Kenobi kneeling in front of her with raised eyebrows.
"Sorry..."
"No need," Master Kenobi stopped her. "Just answer honestly."
Why did she need to? It seemed he already knew.
Ahsoka still let her head hang low as she said, "Yes, master."
"Perhaps a new type of meditation could help? Have you ever been shown moving meditation?"
Ahsoka shook her head. Master Kenobi motioned for her to stand up and she climbed unsteadily to her feet.
"Do you remember the basic positions?"
Ahsoka nodded, earning a smile from Master Kenobi. "Very good. Let's walk through them."
They did, and Ahsoka almost managed not to zone out before Master Kenobi dragged her attention back to the present and told her to close her eyes and focus. She hesitantly squeezed her eyes shut and told herself to pay attention to the movements. She counted them, keeping her mind and muscles in check the whole time.
"Now invite the Force in. Let it flow through you," Master Kenobi told her.
Ahsoka drew in a steadying deep breath and opened her mind to the Force. It flowed around her as if wrapping her like a blanket with every new move. And she welcomed it. She sank into the warm, fuzzy sensation. Move. Breathe. Force. Move. Force. Breathe. Force. Force. Move. Force. Force. Breathe. Force. Force. Force. Force....
Was this what meditation was supposed to feel like? Ahsoka's heart leapt. No wonder everyone love it so much, it was amazing!
Her spiking excitement woke her mind from the trance, but she didn't mind when Master Kenobi's giant, proud grin greeted her. It might've even been the first time an instructor— and a counselor, nonetheless— was proud of her. For one beautiful moment, she wasn't the problem kid.
For one beautiful moment that died when Master Kenobi took the very next moment to tell her he was going to take her to the Halls of Healing. And the panic sank in.
Why? Did he think her mind was messed up? Was it too weird she couldn't meditate normally? Were they going to kick her out? Was she too... damaged? Jedi had to have strong minds, and Ahsoka's was just... chaotic.
"You don't have to worry, my dear," Master Kenobi assured her with a gentle smile. "I've just been wondering about something with you, and I wanted to get a Healer's opinion."
It barely helped Ahsoka's reeling mind.
///
It turned out not to be so bad. She ended up with a bottle of medicine.
Well, that's what the Healers said it was. Ahsoka decided that it was a bottle of pure magic.
For the first time in her life, her mind didn't feel like a blender. She could focus on a specific thought without going on a wild tangent. She completed her assignments in class.
Sure, it didn't solve all her problems— and sometimes she felt a little too hyper focused on things she shouldn't be— but she was better. She still doodled and her room was still cluttered and she still wrote a lot of things down, but she could think.
And her instructors no longer looked at her like she was a complete disappointment.
And she owed that to Master Kenobi. She baked him cookies (with the help of Padmé) and wrote him a nice note. He seemed content, even if she could never repay him for what he'd done for her.
He'd changed her life.
And Ahsoka would forever be grateful.
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Word Count: 1,513
Published: 2 Apr. 2023
If anyone caught the KOTLC reference, I will give you a cookie because you are an amazing human.
Requests are still closed, for the love of all the mythical creatures in existance, do not make a request or I will drown.
Hasta luego, Peoples!