I hadn't left my apartment all morning for the first time in weeks.
Rain was bucketing down the window panes, an unusual occurrence for LA, but it fit my mood perfectly.
Lonely.
Tragic.
Miserable.
And yeah, its pathetic.
You think I don't know that? But seriously, what am I supposed to do now?
Well, I guess answering the phone would be a start.
It had been ringing itself off the wall since 6 am, and I had yet to check my mobile, too afraid of who would be on the other end of the line.
Maybe it was petty, not picking up, but did I really care?
No.
I twirled the ends of my hair around my fingers, switching the TV on.
I had managed to cut it last night, and it didn't look too bad.
A week ago, that would have been means for celebration, seeing how I hadn't done anything significant to my once-waist length hair since sophomore year of high school, but it was fair to say I wasn't in the celebrating mood.
The lady on the news was going on and on about the weather and how it was so strange and blah blah blah.
In my opinion, it was rain.
And it was fall.
Apparently Los Angeles, and the whole area of Southern California, was immune to this season.
Guess the rain serves them right then, I thought bitterly.
The phone rang again and I exhaled heavily.
That was the eighteenth time this morning.
"Ugh fine," I muttered, standing from the small sofa I had been sitting on.
"Hello?" I spoke into the phone tersely.
"Lily! Its Cordelia. You know, it would have been so much easier if you had picked up the first time but you do you I guess," she complained.
"What do you want?" I asked harshly.
"Jeez, whats your problem? Don't have rain where you come from?" Cordelia replied.
I scoffed.
"Says the one from Sunnydale,"
"Look, Angel wanted me to call you and see if you were okay. Are you okay? And answer quickly because I'm beginning to care less and less," she snapped.
"I'm fine, Cordelia. Tell Angel that he can stop pretending to care," I snapped back.
"Oh, he's not pretending, Lily. He cares. We all do. At least...I did until like a minute ago,"
I sighed.
"Whatever,"
I was being unfair and I knew it.
All Angel and the others wanted was to make sure I was okay and I had been nothing but rude to them so far today.
But I was finding it extremely difficult to be nice after having my heart repeatedly shattered by a demon with a soul.
Well, maybe I was giving myself a little too much credit there. I was the one who turned him down first.
But wasn't it the right thing to do?
Wouldn't our relationship make no sense?
He was a vampire for starters, and the two of us could barely go five minutes without arguing or insulting each other.
"Call us back if you hear from Marzipan. Or don't," Cordelia spoke, cutting the line.
Oh.
Marian.
Yeah, I'm beginning to think that not answering the phone all morning wasn't my brightest idea of the decade.
Dialling her number, I tapped my fingers anxiously on the wall that my phone was mounted on.
"Hello, Marian speaking,"
Breathing a sigh of relief that unlike me, she had actually picked up, I managed a smile.
"Hi, Marian, its Lily. I'm sorry if you called me and I didn't pick up, I, um, I was out,"
"Out? In this rain? I certainly don't envy you then," she replied. "But its no problem,"
I sighed, bracing myself for whatever she had to say. "So! Um, why did you call?"
It was her turn to sigh.
"Lily...I'm afraid I don't have the best news. Its just...after everything, I don't know that it's the safest and most intelligent idea to keep the store open. Which means you won't be needed anymore,"
"Oh," I said, unsure of how to react.
I'd be expecting it, and she was right.
It was too dangerous to keep the store open, grull demons being a threat or not.
"I'm sorry, Lily," Marian spoke quietly.
"No! No, its totally fine. I get it. Thanks for letting me have the job in the first place. And thanks for letting me know. Does my boss know? From the security company?" I asked, trying to sound more cheerful than I was.
I was a little more afraid of Marian than I was of Cordelia, so I suppose being nice was a necessity in this case.
Although I'm not entirely sure why since Marian was a sixty-something year old woman who owned a thrift store and Cordelia was a nineteen-year-old who grew up on the literal mouth of Hell and worked for a demon police agency.
"Yes, uh, Ted has been informed. I do hope you can find somewhere else to work,"
"Okay. Thanks again," I replied before hanging up.
What the hell was I going to do now?
The rain showed no sign of relenting as it fell like angry teardrops from the vast expanse of dark sky.
Leaning against the window pane, I stared out at the cars and umbrellas and people beneath me.
But it didn't matter what was there because I knew that I was searching for somebody that I wouldn't see.
Somebody who could be dead by now.
But maybe...just maybe he wasn't.
Maybe he was standing somewhere, as alone as I was, thinking of me. Thinking of the way my lips tasted, pressed up against his.
Of the way I would stare into his dark eyes; tangled up and obsessed with his mere presence.
And yeah, we hated each other.
But sometimes there isn't much of a difference between love and hate.
Because if you have to ask yourself if you hate somebody, you probably don't.
I hated his stupid face.
His stupid eyes.
His stupid smirk.
The stupid way he held me.
The way his stupid fingers felt in mine.
But I didn't hate him.
I hated that I didn't, but I didn't.
And that was when I realised.
There was so much hate and so much love that nothing made sense. But, God life didn't make sense.
And maybe it didn't have to.
Maybe it didn't matter if I was doing something wrong by loving him, because I was tired of pretending like I didn't.
This could be my one shot at a happy ending.
Racing out of the house and into the rain, I felt the sky drench my blouse and jeans but I didn't care.
Because if the rain could fall where it wasn't supposed to, I could be with the person I wasn't supposed to.
The sky had fallen so dark, there was no sunlight.
And there he was.
Right in front of me.
The two of us ran towards each other with such fiery passion I was afraid we would collide.
But we didn't.
"Kingsley," I murmured.
The name stung.
It wasn't right.
He shook his head.
"No,"
And he kissed me, the rain pouring down onto us, his lips crashing into mine.
His hands grabbed the side of my face with rough passion and I kissed harder, the two of us lost somewhere above Earth.
"It's Emiel," he spoke, through ragged breaths.
Tears mixed with the raindrops and he smiled at me.
"I love you. And I don't give a shit,"
He laughed, throwing his head back into the rain, twirling me around and I grinned.
"I love you too, Lily,"
And there was nothing I believed more.
God, maybe this was the most cliche moment ever, but I loved it.
Because this story had gone from funny to tragic to sweet to hot to tragic and now...whatever this was.
But maybe it was just the story of us.
Him and I.
Because not every story has to make sense right?
(A/N: AHHHHHHHH!!!! We were closer to the end than I thought!!!! WELL IT HAPPENED GUYS. IT HAPPENED. Lily found her happy ending, Emiel ended up with the girl he loves...but hey, there's still the epilogue to go hehehe. Stay safe and totally tubular and I'll see you in the next one xx)