I love how some requests are so normal, and then irrel3vant makes a request like,
'They're at the beach and Chris gets stung by a jellyfish, they pee on the wound. Chaos. Paramedics come and tell them they should've put hot water on it'
She has worse ones by the way.
Nate makes a guest appearance in this one-shot hehehehehe. And John Cena but it makes more sense when you read it.
TW: Mother Nick, Jellyfish, Paramedics, Sea water, White girl music, Crying, Children, John Cena
--
WELCOME TO BON'S QUESTIONAIRE. PLEASE CHOOSE AN ANSWER TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTION BEFORE READING.
What's the most harmless thing you can do on a hot summer's day?
Is it...
A) Eating ice cream under the aircon while you watch dance mums?
B) Having fun with your friends at the pools?
C) Going to the beach with your brothers and best friend?
Correct answers: None. All have the possibility of death. But we are going to go with storyline C.
--
"HOT NIGHT WIND WAS BLOWING, WHERE YOU THINK YOUR GOING BABY. HEY I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY, SO HERE'S MY NUMBER, CALL ME MAYBE?" Nick, Matt, Chris and Nate all screamed at the top of their lungs going to the beach that day. It was the perfect weather for a dip in the ocean and some white girl music. (My personality in a sentence)
It had been a karaoke session throughout the whole car ride but the song 'Call Me Maybe' was causing windows to be rolled down and head out the sunroof and everything. Music video type shit.
"What song do we want next?" Chris laughed, turning down whatever song was playing, not knowing it. Passenger Princess privileges come with DJ privileges.
Nick and Nate were sitting at the back, having their little dance party in the back seats. Matt was of course driving. What did you think? Nick was behind the wheel? They wouldn't even make it out of the driveway.
"Wait what's the one song that the chipmunks sing that every trio is doing on my for you page right now?" Nate asked, taking a bite of his doughnut.
"Oh, I know it" Chris responded, typing the song title into the Spotify search bar.
The start of the song started and if you thought for men singing 'Call Me Maybe' was bad, listening to four men sing 'Party Rock Athnem' changed lives.
And that's how the triplets and Nate ventured to the beach. Like true men.
--
"Ok, Matt, you need sunscreen, Chris, wait where the fuck is Chris?" Nick asked while setting up the base for all their shit. Four chairs, four this, four that and a butt load of sunscreen. Give Nick an oversized sunhat and he would look like a middle-aged woman trying to keep her kids calm at the beach.
Nate shrugged, "he's probably scooping out the place or something"
As if Chris had heard them, Chris returned to Nick's vision.
"Guys, I was scooping out the place and there is jellyfish!" Chris jumped up and down like a little kid at the thought of jellyfish.
"Don't touch the jellyfish, Chris. I swear to god" Nick ventured off his sentence. If he wasn't Mother Nick before, he was it now.
"Why not?" Chris wined like a baby.
"Nate, do I have any sunscreen on my face?" Matt turned to his friend, face full of sunscreen. Nate shaked his head, finding it hilarious seeing Matt look like a sunscreen monster.
Nick knew Nate was lying but loved the humour so left it alone and turned to his jellyfish-loving child. "Cause I don't need to deal with jellyfish stings today. Now. Promise me you won't touch the fucking jellyfish"
"Promise" Chris half-assed his answer.
--
The four were in the ocean, body-surfing and drowning each other.
A normal day at the beach right?
"Chris verse Nate. Who can body surf further?" Matt called out, seeing a good wave coming in. They were doing body surfing contests since none of them could surf and couldn't be bothered to bring surfboards. They had determined the winner from each contest and the grand finale was: Nate vs Chris (billieandfinneas11 I got it right this time)
Nate and Chris got ready to catch the wave, both eager to win the contest. The prize? Passenger seat and DJ privileges on the way home.
Matt and Nick jumped with the wave as Nate and Chris caught it. Chris went left and Nate went right. They had learned not to go the same way since it's scary they end up bumping heads with random children, No questions, RIP Alfred George II.
"GO NATE" Nick and Matt both screamed, hoping their friend would beat Chris. It's a sibling thing.
The wave was coming to an end and Nate had already been swallowed by it so Chris was the clear winner.
He was gonna stop himself with the upcoming piece of coral he could see. That's what he had been doing, putting his foot in coral and letting the wave go over him instead of going all the way to the shore. They were a long way out.
Honestly one of Chris's worst ideas and we are all very well aware of some of the things that have happened in this book.
Remember how Chris saw a jellyfish before and then had to promise Nick not to touch it?
Well. Promises break. Unfortunately.
As his foot slid into the coral, it touched something thinner than coral. It also sent this pain through his whole body. It was nothing like he had ever felt before.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" He kept repeating under his breath, trying to keep his reaction PG since kids would hear him scream.
He gently pulled his foot out of the coral, no idea why his veins were on fire at that moment. He didn't go to the shore though, swimming a stroke called 'My foot is on fire and Alica Keys didn't write about it'.
"I've seen someone swim like that before Chris" Nate joked, treading water with the others while waiting for Chris's return.
Once Chris found a small lump of sand to stand on, he lifted his foot out of the water to try and self-diagnose why he felt like he just dipped his foot in a volcano.
"Ok so we are doing yoga now" Nick looked at Chris and he tried to keep his balance amongst the waves which were not as brutal as before but still there.
Chris rolled his eyes, then widened them when he saw a blob of something on his left foot.
"What the fuck is on your foot Chris?"
"Is that a jellyfish, I told you not to touch the fucking jellyfish!"
"Does it hurt?"
Chris couldn't respond to any of it. It hurt. A lot. Like, not that he had experienced it first-hand, but if John Cena threw a TV at him while he was swimming in hot cooking oil and got his arm amputated while the TV hit him in the face, he reckoned it would hurt less than his foot right now.
If anyone has experienced that first hand though please let me know, I need your opinion and context as to why you were swimming in cooking oil.
"I have to pull it off my foot don't I?" Chris then asked.
"No shit Sherlock. You can't live with a brainless creature on your foot for the rest of your life" Nick deadpanned, edging away from the situation.
"Don't worry, the tentacles only sting you, not the actual body so you should be fine" Nate reassured. Matt had disappeared off to the shoreline, too scared to be in the ocean.
He went to go buy hot chips since he was hungry and wasn't equipped to be a doctor for the day. He was already the Uber.
--
The process of getting a jellyfish off Chris's foot was easier said than done. Nick held him up and stood his ground on the small sandbank while the waves rocked the ocean and brought enjoyment to other children.
Nate had the job of pulling the jellyfish off the now-crying Chris.
He grabbed the head of the jellyfish and pulled it upwards, like removing a suction cup thingy from the wall. The head was off Chris's foot but the tentacles were wrapped around it like how ribbon gets tied around a gift.
"Stay still Chris" Nate warned, seeing Chris moving his foot around in the air.
"Next time I'm pulling a jellyfish off your foot I'll tell you to stay still and see how it goes" Chris shot back.
The tentacles started to unwrap themselves from Chris's body, freeing Chris from the jellyfish.
"Ow fuck Nate" Chris squirmed as he saw the jellyfish sting on his foot. It looked like mosquito bites but worse.
"Why are you blaming me?" Nate questioned as he threw the jellyfish a good twenty metres via its brainless head. He hoped it either landed on a child or no one. "You should pee on it while I go call the ambulance to check you out. Wait where is Matt?" He added, looking around, realising Matt had teleported out of the situation.
"Not calling an ambulance I can tell you that" Nick said to lighten the mood.
Chris was just thinking about the fact he had to pee on the jellyfish sting. He did not wake up expecting to pee on some lump-on-his-foot thing.
Nate swam out to go call an ambulance and steal some of Matt's chips since he then spotted Matt walking back with fresh hot chips in his hands.
Nick saw the chips as well. "Little bitch went and brought chips while we were removing jellyfish off people's feet" He scoffed. He then turned his attention back to Chris, "Well, pee on the sting to numb the pain you're clearly in"
"Do you think I can just piss? What are we in? Elementary school?" Chris shot back, gritting his teeth in pain.
"The longer you leave it the more it's going to hurt so hurry up and pee. If you need some water, you are surrounded"
"But I don't like the taste of sea salt"
"Shut the fuck up and piss already. I don't have all day" Nick tapped his wrist to signal a watch.
Chris gave up on arguing and started to pee.
--
When they got to the shoreline, a couple of paramedics were already there waiting for Chris's arrival. Roll the red carpet.
Nate and Matt were sitting in the chairs watching the scene while eating chips. Nate went and got more, they were really good.
"Hi, I'm Nurse Fiona. Are you Christopher?" A blonde woman whose hair was in a tight bun asked Nick.
"Nah I'm Nick, this is Chris" Nick pointed at Chris, who was slung onto Nick's shoulder to help him walk.
Fiona nodded. "Ah, a jellyfish sting. Get those all the time. You just need to stand in boiling water for around half an hour until it numbs the pain"
"But he peed on it" Nick reasoned, trying to see why that didn't work. If anything, it made it worse.
"That's a myth. Well, we are done here. Have a nice day" Fiona just left. Worst paramedic ever.
--
The car ride home was painful for everyone.
Chris was in pain since a jellyfish decided to choose violence.
Matt was in pain since he ate too many chips and the traffic would not move.
Nate was in pain since he removed a jellyfish from Chris and he thinks it stung him slightly if that's a thing.
And Nick was in pain since he was stuck in the back seat with Chris who was going "My foot hurts" every three point two five seven seconds.
Nate connected his Bluetooth and put some random rap song on to fill the silence. It must have worked since the traffic started to move for the first time in twenty minutes. Matt was going to kill the driver infront of him. She was moving slower than a snail in a fifty zone.
When the triplet's house appeared before them, they all started clapping they were that happy.
--
Chris stepped into the shower, stepping straight back out when he felt lava falling onto him. He then turned the water down and turned it up as he got used to the temperature.
The one smart thing he did that day.
He ended up standing in that shower for forty-five minutes, kind of enjoying himself. Plus, he could hear a heated argument over fortnight happening and he wanted to let the amuters play for a while before he went and beat their asses.
Moral of the story?
Don't get stung by a jellyfish.
--
In my defence, I have never been stung by a jellyfish and this chapter has been in my drafts since 'Matt- Clingy'
Writers block go fuck yourself.
aNyWAys
Can we send in some more requests so I get inspired just cause like the more I have to do, the more I write? Sometimes.
Love you all, avoid jellyfish and don't check under your bed. Chester is in hibernation.
-Bon