Kandi
"Okay, what about an outdoor wedding? We could do it next spring at a vineyard with a floral theme.." Tamika suggested as we she sat next to me on the bed.
I was too buried in my notebook on my lap to notice what she was doing, but I did know her laptop was in hand due to her obnoxiously, loud typing.
"Mm no! We both had be bad allergies those flowers would tear our asses up before we even say I do.." I replied.
"Alright.." She sighed. "What about a destination one? That could be fun.."
"That defeats the purpose of a honeymoon." I heard her heavily sigh but once again I kept my head buried in my notebook.
I was finally feeling inspired with a new story and as much as I wanted to plan my wedding the topic had become very sad for me lately. It reminded me of how empty my side would be.
My dad was long gone and as far as I was concerned he was dead or at least dead to me. And as for my mom well she might as well be dead as well considering she hated me for some odd reason.
As for the rest of my family they were non existent. My mom uprooted her entire life to come to Atlanta with my father and lost contact with them all. My dad's side have always hated my mom because they believe she took away their precious son so of course I never got to know them.
Which left me no one. So again the wedding just wasn't enjoyable. I'd much rather escape into a fake world created by me that I could write about. Giving my characters a life I could only dream of.
"Baby, are you even listening to me?!" Tamika asked and I nodded, "uh huh—I could eat."
"I don't ask about food. I asked are you helping planning the wedding or is it all on me?!"
"No of course it's not all on you." I placed my notebook said and grabbed her hands.
"I just—" I cut myself off looking away from her face and down at her hands once again.
"You just what, baby? You can tell me anything you know that."
"I just don't want to disappoint you."
"I have tough skin, lay it on me. We're in this together remember.." She laced our fingers together and I took a deep breath.
"I think we should just elope. I don't want a big wedding or anything fancy like that."
"Since when?" She asked as she furrowed her brows.
"Since I realized my side will be completely empty.." I tried to hold it together but hearing shelf say it out loud made it so much more real. I buried my face in my hands as I tried to keep my tears at bay.
I failed the meant I felt her arms wrap around me. She stayed silent for a while. Just holding me close. Comforting me and rubbing my back through the tears.
"Baby, you have friends who would happily attend and my family is your family you know that.."
"It's not the same! My mom hates me for being stronger than she is, being more successful than her! Everything she's ever wanted in life I have and she hates me because of it. Why? Did I really have to settle for having nothing just for my mom to love me?" I was ranting at this point.
Word vomit was the only way I could make sense of my feelings. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong but for years I blamed myself for the point where our relationship went wrong. It had to be my fault or else nothing made sense.
The woman who raised me now hated the woman I've become and somehow I convinced myself I deserved it.
Tamika didn't say anything else about the wedding or my mom. She simply just held me and hummed close to my ear until I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning with a slight headache while still in Tamika's arms. I blinked a couple times before fully opening my eyes with a groan. Tamika was still asleep which was surprising because she usually is up before me.
I untangled myself from her and went into the bathroom. After starting the shower, I took a few painkillers while the water heated up. As I stepped inside the shower I started thinking back to last night.
I know eloping isn't ideal but I didn't really care how Tamika and I got married as long as we were married. But I also had to consider her feelings. If a big, fancy wedding was what she wanted I couldn't stand in the way of that.
"You look sexy princess.." Tamika smiled as she walked into my home office holding a cup of tea and a bowl.
"Don't lie to me." I pouted as I continued to write. I knew I looked like life was choking me out.
"No, you really do. Wearing my hoodie off the shoulder with the bun combo?! Fire!" I smirked as I grabbed the tea from her hands and sipped it. "You're annoying."
"What you writing?" She asked as she sat the bowl down in front of me. "New story idea. It's nothing special right now.."
"You seem hyper-fixed on it which is progress. I know you've felt a little blocked lately."
"It is progress. I'm flowing like I used to but it's not as cohesive as I'd like." I said.
"Sometimes when I'm stuck on what a dish is missing I try to convince myself it's perfect and imagine what ingredients I'm imagining. Most of the time I just need to add some spice.."
"So that's what I'm missing? Some spice?" I laughed causing her to do the same.
"Knowing you there's probably plenty of spice." She smirked. "Not yet. I against gotten that far."
"Well take a break and eat before your food gets cold.." She pushed the bowl closer to me and grabbed the spoon to eat the shrimp and grits.
"Do you really want to elope?" Tamika asked and I shrugged, "Only if you want that too."
"I just wanna be married to you. I don't really care how but I won't say I don't want to have a big wedding just to show off how much I love you."
"I just don't want to be reminded that I'm alone on a day that's supposed to be the happiest of my life, but it's not just my wedding it's yours. So if you want a big fancy wedding then that's what we'll have." I explained in between bites.
"I'll tell you what how about we elope with just maybe your friends and my mom and sister there. And then we can have a small reception maybe the next day." She suggested and I nodded.
"I like that idea." I smiled. "Good! I just want us both to be happy and I'll be happy as long as you are.."
I wondered what I'd done in my life to deserve someone who loves me the way Tamika does. I felt like the luckiest woman alive.
"Thank you so much baby." I threw my arms around her and climbed into her lap as we hugged. "You don't have to thank me.." She kissed my temple as I laid in her arms.
"I love you so much. I can't wait to be your wife."
"I can't wait to be your wife.." She smiled as she laced our fingers together.
_____
11:09 am
Tamika
I sighed as I pulled into my mom's driveway. I'm usually happy when I come down this block because it brings back happy memories. Unfortunately that wasn't the case this time because I what's going to my childhood home.
After my conversation with Kandi yesterday I was hoping to talk to her mom to see if I could change her perspective. When we were younger Kandi and her mom were close and whatever happened between them Kandi never wants to speak on in depth.
Hopefully her mom would be willing to open up when she hears how her negative attitude towards Kandi has impacted her life.
I stepped out of my car and walked across my mom's lawn until I was in front of Kandi's mother's house. I rung the doorbell and a couple seconds later the door swung open revealing Mama Joyce.
"Tamika?! What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Uh I stopped to say hi to my mom and I thought I'd come over and see how you were doing.."
"Oh, how sweet of you. Well come on in.." She stepped aside and allowed me into the house.
I walked inside and was instantly hit with memories from my childhood. Mainly teenage memories of Kandi and I hanging out after school. Or sleeping over the entire weekend while watching our favorite movies over and over again.
We sat in the living room, holding normal conversation and she seemed like the same old Mama Joyce that I've known my entire life.
It wasn't until Kandi came up in the topics of conversation that her whole demeanor changed. It infuriated me to watch her have such a disgustingly negative reaction to the sheer mention of her own daughter's name.
"What has that child gotten into now?!" She shook her head. "Nothing. I proposed to her a few months ago and we're trying to plan the wedding. I thought you might want to be there for her.."
I knew Kandi would never ask her mother in fear that she would be rejected but I had no fear of that. I had no problem asking on her behalf but if she was going to continue with negativity she wouldn't be invited.
It's bad enough she'd ruining Kandi's wedding experience already. However, I would love if she could put things aside for one night in order to let her daughter experience a beautiful day to celebrate our love.
"Mm—well of course she didn't tell me. She doesn't tell me anything."
"Can I ask you something?" I asked and she turned her head looking straight at me before nodding. "I don't want to sound disrespectful or anything but I really would like to know what happened to y'all's relationship. I remember y'all being very close and now it's last like you guys hate each other.."
She sighed before saying, "When she went away to college it was like a new person came back into my house. Then she starts telling me all these lies about her boyfriend, then it was always something about school, and then she turns around and makes these filthy books... it's as if she's not the girl I raised and she doesn't understand how that hurts me."
"I'll be honest Mama Joyce. She isn't the girl you raised because she's a thirty year old woman. She's accomplished and she's been through a lot. That stuff with her boyfriend wasn't a lie and I don't knew why you would ever think it was, but maybe you need to check yourself." I replied.
I was trying my hardest to keep things respectful but she made it hard. Calling Kandi a liar and then making Kandi out to be some sort of villain for making books that she wants was just selfish.
"How dare you come in my house and talk as if you know my daughter better than me?! I went through ten hours of labor and years alone raising that girl! I lost my husband because of her, I lost my youth because of her, I lost my passions because of her, and this is how she repays me!"
"It's not about you! This is her life and your husband left you because he's a man. Kandi was a child who didn't ask to be here. You made all of those decisions so don't you dare blame Kandi for them!" I yelled.
Her eyes narrowed as she pointed her finger at me and said, "Get the hell out of my house!"
"Gladly! You have a blessed one!" I quickly grabbed my purse and headed towards the door.
"And I will be telling your mother about this!" She yelled from behind. What am I five?!
I walked out of the house and went straight to my mother's house. I used my key and walked through the house to find she wasn't even home. I sat I t hr living room and pulled out my phone to text her when I saw a text from Kandi.
••
Princess🥰: We should get a pole for our room..
: Like a stripping pole??
Princess🥰: What other kind of pole would I be talking about?!?
: I'm just trying to make sure 😂
Princess🥰: I'm about to order it now 🫦
: Get some stripper outfits while you at it & use my card
Princess🥰: Oh I was going to do that anyway!
: 🤣🤣
••
By the time I remembered to call my mom she was walking through the door. "Mom!" I yelled to her. She walked into the living room with a smile and a few shopping bags.
"I saw you on the camera..what brought you by baby?!"
I began explaining everything to her from our current wedding plans to my recent conversation with her so-called friend. She wasn't shocked by her show she put on but I was still very disturbed by it. I don't understand how you could have such a deep hatred for someone you gave birth to.
"Joyce is interesting but I think it's so sweet of you to try to reason with her for Kandi's sake. Oh! Speaking of Kandi I got her this.." My mom changed the subject as she handed me a bag from coach.
"I got you guys matching purses! They were having sale.." I looked inside the shopping bag to find two coach tote bags. They were both brown and gold.
"Ooo these are cute! Thank you mom. Kandi's going to love it.."
"I hope so. Think of it as an engagement present." She smiled.
We talked for a while longer and eventually I got tricked into cooking for her. We ate, continuing to talk and catch up with one another.
After my talk with Kandi's mom I've never been so grateful to have the mom I had. I couldn't imagine my mom resenting me to the point of being angry with me for no distinct reason.
I was more than happy to marry Kandi in anyway she'd allow so if that meant eloping I wouldn't hesitate to.