Heyo, human beings from outer space!
Today we have an epic two-in-one-er requested by both Tessinred and jamesidk13. Dang it tags why won't you wooooooorrrrkkk???
Everything is explained in the fic, but there might be one thing that's unclear, which is to win, the team's designated chugger must chug the milk. And I promise this will make more sense from the fic.
Read on if you dare.
"You guys actually do this?"
Ahsoka chuckled at Caleb's wide-eyed horror. "Relax. You have fun once you let yourself," she promised.
Caleb scanned the floor, which was littered with unconscious clones: their teammates, branded by a temporary blue handprint on their breastplates.
"Start waking them up," Ahsoka ordered, detaching him from her arm and nodding for him to move to a different group of clones. She crossed the room, spotting Echo and kicking him in the arm.
"What do you think happened?" Caleb asked, voice still shaking. "Wasn't this the other scouting group?"
"Yeah, they probably got ambushed," Ahsoka replied, then laughed. "Calm down, Caleb! Are you really gonna spend your whole 501st weekend experience panicking? This is gonna be the most epic game of Capture the Blue Milk Bottle you will ever experience."
Caleb muttered in disagreement. "It's mostly just stressful if you ask me."
"That's why you need to relax, and for kriff's sake, Echo, stop hitting me like I have a snooze button." Ahsoka hauled Echo into an upright sitting position, but the sound of a faint shuffle prickled her montrals and she froze.
Caleb noticed. "What's—"
"DOWN!" Ahsoka shouted, racing over to the younger padawan and tackling him just in time to save him from a stun bolt. She rolled to her feet, tucking Caleb behind her and holding up her blaster. She tried to listen for an estimation on how many competitors were surrounding them, but couldn't guess.
Another shot rang out and Ahsoka ducked just in time. Fives sprang out from the shadows, his red handprint shining in the light. He raised his blaster and fired, sending a blue ring of light flying for Echo, who had scrambled to his feet.
Ahsoka reached out her hand and stopped it with the Force just in time, letting it hang in mid air before tossing it aside.
"Aw, that's dirty, Commander Tano," Fives whined. "I so had Echo. Again."
"I would've dodged it anyway," Echo arged.
"Nu-uh. I am way to skilled for you to have escaped that." Fives blew a raspberry at Echo. "Ha-hah, I'm better than you!" he chanted.
The two spiraled into an argument and Ahsoka chuckled. Rex was right when he divided up the teams, Fives and Echo so belonged on opposing sides, just for her personal entertainment if for anything.
"Come on," Ahsoka whispered to Caleb, who stood behind her shaking and holding his blaster in a white-knucked grip. She took his hand and guided him to the next room.
"Where are we going?" Caleb whispered.
"To find their blue milk," Ahsoka replied. "We have to find it to win."
"Right," mumbled Caleb, letting Ahsoka guide him through the dim barracks.
Whenever the 501st ha a chance, they would spend a weeked playing the most epic and intense games Capture the Flag in the barracks, using blue milk bottles as flags and their blasters set to stun. This time, Ahsoka had invited Caleb to join them, but she was starting to wonder if that was a mistake.
The poor kid seemed terrified.
Someone in the next room screamed something unintelligible, making both padawans jump. And the next moment a stampede of clones raced through the hallway with Hardcase leading the pack carrying a bottle of blue milk with a blue label.
Ahsoka grabbed Caleb and they joined the chase, sprinting and tripping through the barracks, desperately trying to stun Hardcase. But his fellow teammates kept taking the hits for him when he couldn't dodge it, and the next thing they knew, he'd crossed into his own territory, passed the bottle to Fives (their designated chugger), and watched him chug it.
"Better luck next time!" Hardcase panted, wiggling in a victory dance.
Kix stunned him just because.
///
Ahsoka was worried she'd scarred poor Caleb from the intense game, but apparently she was far off from the truth.
Apparently he'd been going around telling everyone how awesome it'd been, and apparently some others had caught wind. So they planned the next Epic Capture the Blue Milk for the very next weekend, and Master Plo would be joining them.
Only for the 104th to be deployed at the very last moment.
But the game went on, and the 212th was already there, and Caleb was noticeably less shaky.
Caleb and Ahsoka slunk along with the group, their feet clicking quietly on the barracks floor. They reached a large bunk room and Ahsoka heard another quiet clattering, and froze, holding up her hand to give the still order.
She snuck forward, Caleb tensing considerably as he kept himself attached to her side. Ahsoka peered around the corner and caught a glimpse of golden-decorated armor.
Someone also must've gotten a glimpse of her, because she dropped to the floor just in time to avoid being stunned.
Chaos erupted.
Shots rang out from every direction, Caleb squealed, and there was a whole lot of shouting. Ahsoka scrambled to her feet, trained her blaster, and started firing off rounds. Her aim was still sloppy from a lack of training but she knocked out a few of Cody's men. And then she spotted the one man who wasn't adorned in armor and she pointed the blaster at him.
Everyone had insisted Anakin join the 212th for the game since it wasn't fair to have all the Jedi with the 501st, and Ahsoka made it her personal mission to take him down.
It took her ten tries and a lot of dodging his retorting shots, but she eventually nailed him squarely and he dropped.
"Yes!" Ahsoka cheered, and she fired off a couple more rounds with her teammates. The last of the 212th's forces fell.
"Well," came an accented voice from the doorway, and Ahsoka spun around to see a bewildered Obi-Wan scratching his head. "That was something."
"Hi Master Kenobi," Ahsoka chirped. "What brings you to the Most Epic Capture the Blue Milk Game Ever?"
"The what? No– nevermind, I don't think I want to know," Obi-Wan muttered. "I came to speak to Cody, but it seems he and his men are... indisposed at the moment."
"Yeah, we crushed them!" Fives whooped, triggering a round of cheers.
"But we haven't won yet," Ahsoka reminded them. "I need a group of volunteers to monitor these prisoners, while the rest of us go after their blue milk."
"Sir yes sir!"
Half an hour later, the game came to a close with a 501st victory.
///
"I've been hearing things, Skywalker," Mace Windu said, stalking into Ahsoka and Anakin's master-padawan quarters.
"Oh?"
"Things of how you're using republic space, equipment, and soldiers for your own gain," Windu explained. Ahsoka tried to hide her eye roll.
"Not for my own gain. It's for all our gain."
"Really? It doesn't exactly look that way," Windu scoffed. "Tell me how, then."
Anakin launched into an explanation about how it helped with blaster training, strategy skills, and resourcefulness, using Ahsoka's improved shooting skills as an example. "The troops and my padawan are having fun and improving at the same time."
"The question is if this so-called training of yours is worth it," Windu argued.
"It is. I bet my troops could tromp yours."
"Do you now?" Windu growled.
"Well, there's only one way to test that."
And the next thing Ahsoka knew, the 187th was joining them for their Capture the Blue Milk. Which meant they had 4 battalions total, and the steaks and playing space were increased greatly.
Ahsoka and Caleb, of course, stuck together. The two padawans were sent up through the vents to see if they could sneakily spot where the blue milk was.
"This room is gauded pretty heavily outside, did you notice?" Ahsoka pointed to the grate that would lead them into said room.
Caleb nodded. "Do you think they have their milk in there?"
"Maybe," Ahsoka carefully picked up the grate. "It's worth a look." She dropped down into the room, scanning it. Where could they have hid the little bottle...?
The door clicked and Ahsoka barely had enough time to motion for Caleb to stay in the vent before the door flew open and a stun circle zipped at her face, dragging her consciousness away.
She tried to fight back to awareness, but she felt like she was drowning in heavy, gooey darkness. Dystantly, she felt as though she might've been moving, then maybe something cold was seeping into her skin, then maybe there was something tight and rough on her wrists.
There was no way to tell what was real and what was in her mind.
Not until she finally surfaced, blinking her eyes until the world shifted back into focus. Ahsoka swallowed a groan and scooted against the chilly wall to prop herself up, looking around. Her wrists were bound with rope and five clones stood stiffly in a half-circle around her little corner like a barricade.
"Five guards, I'm honored," said Ahsoka, making the clones jump. "Glad Windu thinks so highly of me."
"You're our prisoner," said a shiny. "Be quiet."
"Oooh, a newbie," Ahsoka beamed, "What's the name?"
"It doesn't matter, now be quiet," snapped the shiny.
Ahsoka's brow puckered. "Do you not have a name?"
The trooper hesitated a split second too long before shushing her again.
"You don't. Oooh! Let's play the name game."
"No, quiet!"
"Aw, come on, it's not like any of us are getting out of here any time soon. Look at me, five guards and my wrists tied." she added a dramatic sigh for effect. "So, let's start the name game."
The trooper didn't protest, not that Ahsoka gave him much time for it.
"Let's see, you're a feisty one. But you can't have Snips. That one's mine. You could be Snark, but that sounds wayyyy too similar to Snot. Hmmmmm...." Ahsoka tested the ropes on her wrists with her teeth as she hummed, glad to find the threads brittle enough to chew away with enough patience.
"Kiss-up would be a super crappy name, so don't let anyone talk you into that one. It's not cool." Ahsoka hummed again, chomping at the ropes between every name suggestion.
They eventually settled on the name "Polish" since Ahsoka thought he was quite the polished fellow, and even if he remained stiff and stern, she could feel his approval wafting through the Force.
"That was pretty fun, but unfortunately," Ahsoka said, snapping the last thread of rope, "I have places to be."
The troopers didn't notice until it was too late, and Ahsoka hurled herself over them in a fancy flip, dropping two with a sleep suggestion. She snatched a blaster and managed to drop the other three before swishing open the door and preparing for the worst.
But no one was there, and better yet, she'd happened to stumble upon a bottle of blue milk taped up with a red label. And by the looks of it, it had been through a lot. Between the dents and the scuffs, she guessed this had been the most epic game yet.
Ahsoka snatched up the milk and continued her dangerous journey, somehow managing to dodge all the troopers on the other team and Mace Windu. She'd almost made it to the end when she ran right into someone.
"Oh, hi Master Kenobi," Ahsoka said, whipping the bottle of milk behind her back.
"Hello there, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan said, itching at the red paint on his nose. "What do you have there?"
"Nothing."
They stared at each other for a long moment, then Ahsoka took off running, feet pumping the ground as fast as they could. The hoard chasing her increased and she ducked and leapt to avoid the wild mess of stuns zipping at her.
That's when a messy-haired boy appeared in the hallway in front of her.
"CALEB!" she screamed. "CATCH!"
The bottle went flying through the air and Caleb dove the catch it, rolling back to his feet and looking petrified at the stampede coming right at him.
"GET IT TO WOLFFE!"
Caleb took off running, his wiry form easily dodging the stuns even as he stumbled every few steps. Ahsoka jerked around a different hall, racing and shouting and hoping to find their designated chugger and meet back up with Caleb.
She spotted the commander at his post near their own bottle and grabbed his arm, dragging him along. "Caleb got the bottle!" Ahsoka panted.
The two skidded around the corner, nearly smashing into some troopers, and Caleb handed over the bottle. Wolffe downed it in seconds.
Cheers erupted around them.
Windu never doubted the training again.
And Caleb never stopped bragging about the day he helped win the Most Epic Game of Capture the Blue Milk Ever.
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Word Count: 2,116
Published: 16 March 2023
I know that wasn't EXACTLY the request, but I hope it suffices :)
Requests are not open, please for the love of kriff do not request anything, thank u <333
Hasta luego, peoples!