G'day. Everyone let's get into their Australian moods because the triplets are here in my oneshot today
This is a request from the amazing ObviouslyTilda28
"Can you maybe write one where Nick is sick:)"
Of course I can and you didn't specify where they needed to be so they are down under.
Oh and it rhymes so I have to.
Tw: Vomit, more vomit, a bit more vomit. Oh did I mention vomit? Breaking of the fourth wall
--
As the plane touched down on the grounds of Australia, the sun beaming into the plane window gave Nick a headache almost immediately. The sunset would be beautiful if Nick's head wasn't the equivalent of five boulders and an elephant stacked on each other.
"I wonder if they all have accents" Chris inquired, looking at all the workers around the airport through the small window.
Matt scooted Chris off him and onto Nick, which Nick did not like.
"They probably do" Matt agreed once Chris wasn't on him anymore. He loved having a window seat, for this reason, he didn't always have Chris, who was in the middle crawling all over him. Most of the time.
The triplets got off the plane and were hit by the brisk air of Australia in the autumn. That made Nick's nose run, it was too cold.
"Fuck, I'm freezing" Matt shivered.
--
"What is Maccas?" Chris asked as Matt drove the rental car past Macca's
"It's Mcdonald's dumbass" Matt answered, trying to understand the road rules. "This driving on the left side of the road shit is giving me anxiety"
Nick rolled his eyes, regretting it straight away, it made his head hurt more. "Everything gives you anxiety"
"Yeah but, wait I can't defend myself" Matt realised, going back to focusing on the road.
Chris looked like a kid in a candy store, everything was so exciting, so new. He had more questions than answers.
"Is that a Kmart?"
"What is AFL?"
"Soccer? We aren't in Britain"
"Should I roll down the window and scream 'good aye mate' at the people driving by?"
"Why is it so cold?"
Nick was going to bash Chris's head in, he was getting pissed off and all the talking made his head hurt more.
"We should go to Sydney Opera House, Australia Zoo and the MCG" Chris looked at some websites he found.
Matt laughed, "Those are in different states"
"There are states?" Chris gawked out.
Nick had never been more embarrassed to have Chris as a brother
--
As soon as they were safely in the hotel room, Nick went on a scavenger hunt with all the suitcases to find any type of medicine.
"What are you looking for?" Matt questioned, seeing clothes piling up next to the suitcase Nick was attacking. He had kicked Chris out of the hotel room and now he was sitting outside the door texting Matt to let him back in.
The annoying mfer younger than me - 2:12 pm
Let me back in
Pls
Matt
I'm gonna go wrestle an alligator if you don't open the door
Why did you take my keycard?
Wait I just googled it, it's crocodiles here
Some old lady gave me a weird stare
Is that Jeff?
Matt
Matt turned his phone to DND and chucked it on one of the beds.
Nick then answered Matt's question with a question if that makes any sense. "Do you have Advil on you?"
Matt shaked his head. "Nop, sorry, check the bathroom"
Nick nodded, the movement hurting his head and he stumbled to the bathroom.
He caught his reflection in the mirror. He was paler than normal. He hoped it was because he had been on an extremely long flight. He was also sweaty, which weirded him out, it felt like Antarctica out there.
Maybe he was just jet-lagged. A fifteen-hour time difference isn't easy on anyone.
Poor Matt didn't have any sleep in the past three days from either, nightmares, or not wanting to sleep, the refusal of sleep on a plane and the Wattpad he was reading.
In Matt's defence, it was a good Wattpad. (Matt if you're reading this, um, go to bed)
So Matt's "I'm tired" statement was getting on his nerves, making the headache gain strength, even if Matt wasn't talking. Weird siblings are like that.
The consent banging on the hotel room door from Chris was pissing him off as well, everything agitated him when he wasn't feeling a hundred per cent.
--
Matt and Chris slept soundly in the same bed that night, Nick in his own. He didn't understand how they could sleep with each other for the next two weeks but he wasn't complaining, he got the other bed to himself.
The pounding of his head and the fact his stomach was on a carnival ride of its own was preventing Nick from the heaven of sleep.
He shifted left and right and the monsters under his bed joined the monsters under Matt and Chris's since the roof wasn't staying still.
Nick shot up, to outsiders it looked like he was part of the conjuring but no one was levitating on a cloud outside the window of the fifth story of a hotel so the outsiders would never know.
"Nick?" Chris grumbled, seeing Nick's figure sitting up with a strangely amazing posture. He was going to wake Matt up to take notes for the next podcast episode.
Nick looked at Chris, "Why are you awake" He whispered, mindful of a sleeping Matt.
"Same goes for you Dracula" Chris shot back, still astonished by Nick's posture.
Nick rolled his eyes but laughed a bit. It was reaching the hour of the night we all acted like we had had fifty shots of tequila. "Go to bed, Chris"
Chris sighed but didn't argue, he was tired. He joined Matt in slumber.
Nick didn't join. He laid down like a mummy and pretended to be dead, hoping it would help him sleep.
It did not.
He then shapeshifted from a mummy to a gold medal athlete in three point five four seconds, as he bolted to the bathroom.
He forgot the door was closed and bounced off the door into the wall.
It was pretty funny to the outsiders. And Chris. Who was awoken by the bang, still half asleep. Again, everything is funny at that hour of the morning.
"Chris, stop fucking walls and go to bed" He mumbled, covering Matt's ears in the process, not wanting to wake him up, even if his cold hands would probably give him a shock and wake him up.
Chris thought things through. Sometimes.
"I'm not fucking the wall, it's not a guy Chirs, I need to vomit" He held his hands to his mouth as he said this, scared his organs were going to deliver their Christmas gifts early if he didn't cover his mouth.
Chris made an 'O' with his mouth, opened the door for his brother and even turned on the lights like the nice younger sibling he was.
Not thinking about the sudden beam of light would wake Matt up.
Nick didn't give two shits about Matt, bolting to the toilet and delivering the gifts to the water.
Chris moved his hair out of his face, it was stuck from the sweat but that didn't bother Chris, it was better than hearing Nick complain about the water pressure for his hair.
"Chris, why does it look like you two are dating right now" Matt sleepily said, rubbing his eyes, he was very confused to see his brother rubbing his other brother's back and moving his hair out his face. "Is Nick pregnant or something" He added.
Chris had to laugh, Nick made a subtle middle finger.
Nick then delivered another load of presents to the toilet water. A chill went down Chris's spine as the splash came out of the toilet onto him.
"Nick, aim your puke better, please" Chris pleaded, seeing some vomit on the floor next to him.
Nick didn't speak, he kicked Chris and puked again.
"Why is he vomiting so much?" Matt questioned, finally gaining all five of the senses again.
Nick wanted to sass one of his quick-witted comebacks but when he opened his mouth, more puke came out. What fun.
Chris shrugged. "I don't know, ask Einstein or something"
Nick fell back into Chris after he knew he was done. "Can I sleep now, my head hurts"
Matt nodded and started to help Chris lift Nick as Chris said, "Aw, does baby want a nap" in a baby voice.
"Chris. I want you to try something. Go sit in the corner of the hotel room and replay what you just said five times in your head then tell me why it was wrong" Matt instructed, hoisting Nick up onto him and pointing over to the door. Multitasking if you ask me.
Chris didn't listen though, he instead left Matt with Nick and went to bed, his last words of the night being, "I helped him vomit, you help him sleep. Goodnight Australia"
--
How do you know you are waking up in Australia?
Well, for example, the birds might be swooping, the dogs are getting walked, men are fighting about the AFL results, people are surfing, coffee is filling the air and the car horns are being pressed excessively. (Saiisha anything else?)
Matt knew he was waking up in Australia since he saw a magpie pull out a cyclist's hair at the ripe time of 8 am.
Chris saw it aswell, "We should let Nick loose with the magpies" He suggested.
"He'd murder us" Matt responded without any doubt in his mind.
"Who'd murder who?" Nick's horse morning voice asked, waking up from his nap.
Chris knew what he wanted to respond. He had been preparing it all night, "What's up pukey"
He died of laughter from his joke that wasn't even funny. Like no one was laughing. The walls included.
"You can't add 'Y' to the end of a word and expect it to be funny" Nick pointed out.
Chris couldn't breathe he was laughing so much. He was curled up on the floor dying.
Matt didn't care. "How are you feeling Nick?"
Nick shrugged. "OK"
--
For some reason, his body thought it would be cool if it vomited at night instead of the day.
I guess Nick's organs wanted to see him get swooped.
That night, back in the hotel, Chris was having a rap concert in the shower, Matt was pacing around the room and Nick was lying on the floor.
"Matt I feel like shit" He mumbled.
Matt inspected him like the inspector from the Treehouse books (Iykyk)
"You look like shit, do you need to throw up?" Matt asked casually.
Nick shrugged, he wasn't sure what he was feeling. He felt like dog shit in a beauty pageant.
Then it hit him, "Matt I need to vomit" He gawked out, racing to find something he could expel his organs in.
Chris's empty suitcase.
With the target in mind, he crawled like a baby on wheels to his brother's suitcase and vomited.
Matt cringed. "Chris will love you, Nick. He will leave you here in Australia."
Nick nodded weakly. "I mean at least the house would be quieter" He added before going back to filling up the suitcase. With everything but clothes.
--
Nick was asleep in his bed when Chris got out of the shower.
"It smells like shit" He announced, disgusted.
"It's because you are here" Matt fired.
Chris walked over to his suitcase to put his shit in it when he discovered the treasure. "Um Matt, why is Nick's puke in my suitcase." His voice was high-pitched.
"Merry Christmas. Goodnight"
The lights turned off and Chris was left to deal with his new presents.
--
Nick didn't vomit anymore after that.
Thank god the author was getting queasy.
They ended up having a great time in Australia, with memorable moments like when Chris got chased by a kangaroo, a koala fell on top of Matt's head and Nick ran in with an eastern brown snake. (Google them. I've seen one irl out in the Wild before and I had a panic attack so)
--
Not gonna lie I gave up with this one. I deleted this chapter so many times its not funny.
ALSO DID WE SEE THE COLLAB VID CMG OUT? JOHNNIE, TRIPLETS, SAM AND COLBY?
AHHHHHH
everything is just falling into place.
And I'll end my ted talk with the fine words of Mitchell Cave of Chase Atlantic, "Take drugs, stay high, view the fucking world from the outside" and "Don't die kids"
-Bon