Wooyoung
"That's so gay"
Way to ruin the moment.
Wooyoung felt San quickly pull away from their tender kiss as he instantly took two steps back.
The younger shot Jongho a glare who didn't seem to be giving the slightest fuck.
Felix and Lia stood next to him like mannequins.
"We wanna leave"
Sure they did.
"Okay? Give us a second, damn"
"No need for that", San's response made Wooyoung's eyes snap back towards the older, "We're coming"
"No we're not"
Wooyoung was done with his bullshit.
What was all this pulling and pushing about? If San really wanted to completely cut ties with him, he wouldn't have kissed back just now.
Was he bipolar or something?
"I need to talk to you first"
"Wooyoung we can-"
"No. We need to talk. Just a minute. I'll be quick. I promise"
"We can talk in the car, I wanted to say", the taller replied, making Wooyoung go silent, "You'll be my passenger again, right?"
"Yeah.."
——————————————————————
San
San started the car.
As engine hummed to life, signaling their departure from the spa, Wooyoung's hand moved swiftly to the ignition, cutting off the engine again.
Damn.
Okay, so there really was no escaping from this conversation. No matter how much he wished otherwise.
San's exasperated sigh filled the confined space of the car as he turned to face Wooyoung, resignation evident in his eyes.
With a heavy heart, Wooyoung initiated the dialogue, his voice soft yet insistent. "So?" he prompted, his gaze fixed unwaveringly on San.
It was a simple question.
No big deal.
San's temples throbbed with the weight of his internal struggle as he struggled to piece together his thoughts. Frustration etched lines of tension across his forehead as he grappled with the complexity of his emotions. "I shouldn't have said that to you," he began, his voice tinged with regret. "It wasn't supposed to start this big of a conversation"
Wooyoung's brow furrowed in confusion, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern. "Said what?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.
Bitch please.
San's gaze drifted away, his features contorted in a pained expression. "I wish you were a girl," he admitted, the words heavy, "You knew what I meant. Damn, no need to push me to say it again like that"
The confession hung heavy in the air between them, a palpable tension suffusing the car's interior.
"Why?" Wooyoung finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. He needed to understand, needed to unravel the complexities of San's innermost thoughts.
San's frustration bubbled to the surface, his voice tinged with agitation as he struggled to articulate his feelings. "Because you've made me question everything," he confessed, his tone laced with a mixture of anguish and longing.
Fuck it.
Cards on the table.
San's gaze drifted to the dashboard, his mind a tempest of conflicting emotions. "Yuqi", he finally decided to speak up, "-was...she was my anchor, you know? After everything that happened, she was the one thing that made sense in my life," he confessed, "But then...then things changed. I changed."
He traced the outline of the steering wheel with trembling fingers, the memories of his past weighing heavy on his heart. "I thought I could bury the pain, bury the guilt, but it's always been there, lurking beneath the surface. It fucking sucked, Young-ah. My life really fucking sucked", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "And then you came along."
A soft sigh escaped his lips as he recalled the first time he laid eyes on Wooyoung, the way his heart had quickened at the sight of him. "You were like a burst of color... Like.. Literally with your pink fucking hair" he admitted, his gaze flickering to meet Wooyoung's. "Everything felt different. But- but not in a good way.. I think?"
He shook his head, as if trying to dispel the tangled web of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. "But I'm a fucking coward" he confessed, his voice heavy with emotion. "Scared of what it means to feel this way, about a whole ass man. Scared of what it means to want something I can never have."
His gaze softened as he met Wooyoung's eyes, a silent plea for understanding and acceptance. "I don't know where this is going and that simply fucking terrifies me" he admitted, his voice raw with vulnerability. "Makes me nauseous to think about all this"
Their conversation unfolded like a delicate dance, each step fraught with the weight of unspoken truths and uncharted territories. Wooyoung listened intently, though his face showed no emotion at all.
As San's confession drew to a close, a heavy silence descended upon them, punctuated only by the soft hum of the car's interior. In that moment, the air between them was thick.
With a deep breath, San turned to face Wooyoung, his gaze searching for any trace of understanding or acceptance in the other's eyes.
He found none of that.
His stomach turned at the younger's empty expression.
"Hyung", Wooyoung's voice was soft but clear, "Have you ever been in love with someone?"
San's throat was dry.
"Yeah, Yuqi"
"You weren't. I'm talking about actual love"
"...Then no. I haven't"
San watched as Wooyoung turned away from him, humming.
"Let's drive back, it's really late", Wooyoung said.
San frowned but started the engine anyway.
Was this.. all?
As San started to drive, Wooyoung took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "Hyung" he began, his voice steady despite the swirling emotions inside him. "I want you to know that you don't have to figure everything out right now. It's okay to feel confused and frustrated, to question your feelings and your desires."
The younger turned to look at him, his expression gentle yet resolute. "And you don't have to feel pressured to make any decisions," he continued, his words measured and sincere. "Honestly there are no decisions to be made. At least not for now"
Wooyoung reached out, his hand finding San's once again, a silent reassurance of his support. "I don't want us to cut ties," he said firmly, his voice filled with conviction. "Whatever happens, whatever you decide, that's fine. It's not like I'm deadly in love with you or something, that's way too soon"
A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he met San's gaze. "So let's just chill the fuck out and see" he suggested, his tone soft yet determined. "And if at any point you feel uncomfortable or unsure, just let me know. I promise I'll respect your boundaries and give you the space you need."
Wooyoung squeezed San's hand, his eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that words could never fully convey. "But know this," he added, his voice earnest and unwavering. "If you ever decide that you don't want me, that you need to move on without me, I'll understand. And I'll walk away, no questions asked. I'll delete your number and never fucking talk to you again. Got that, hyung? I'm grown enough to know where I stand"
To San it felt like heavy rocks had been taken off his shoulders. Rocks that had been there for years now.
As they drove through the quiet streets, the athlete couldn't help but chuckle.
How ironic.
San's laughter bubbled up from deep within him, releasing the tension that had been coiled tight around his chest. He couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief at how much lighter he felt now.
"I can't believe I was stressing out so much about all of this," he admitted, his voice tinged with a hint of self-deprecation. "It all seems so silly now."
He glanced over at Wooyoung, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "Thank you for listening, for understanding," he said, "Fucking hell"
As they continued to drive, the tension of the past few weeks gradually fading into the rearview mirror, San couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over him.
He had finally confronted his feelings, had finally opened up to someone he cared about, and the world hadn't come crashing down around him.
His mom had always told him that there was no shame in talking about feelings.
He never believed her.
His ego wouldn't let him.
In that moment, San realized that sometimes the hardest part isn't admitting how you feel, but finding the courage to say it out loud. And as he glanced at Wooyoung, he felt nauseous again.
No.
That's the wrong word.
He felt like his chest was burning up from the inside and his stomach was doing backflips.
"You'd get along so well with my sister"
"You had a sister?"
"Yeah... Two"
"oh"
San's smile didn't leave his lips as he gently placed his free hand on Wooyoungs thigh.
"Don't worry, Young-ah. I can talk about them. It's just that you really remind me of her, you know"
Wooyoung raised an eyebrow.
"Not in a weird way, what the fuck man. I mean the way you talk. You're really similar in the way you express yourself"
"Did she also cuss this much?"
"... Yeah"
He looked Wooyoung as the younger giggled.
Cute.
"Oh, wait, hyung. Where are we going? The campus is that way"
San smiled, "Seonghwa asked me if I wanted to come over for a late night snack and we haven't eaten yet so I figured you'd be in"
The other smiled next to him before nodding happily.
In reality, the two of them were fucking starving.
The car glided smoothly along the road, the soft hum of the engine blending with the gentle chatter between San and Wooyoung. As San raved about Seonghwa's culinary skills, his enthusiasm was infectious, and Wooyoung couldn't help but feel his own excitement building.
"Seriously, you have to try hwa's tteokbokki" San insisted, his eyes alight with excitement. "It's like heaven on a plate."
Wooyoung's mouth watered at the mere thought of indulging in Seonghwa's delectable creations. "I'd honestly eat anything right now" he replied eagerly, a grin spreading across his face.
Feeling the warmth of San's hand on his thigh, Wooyoung glanced over at him, their eyes meeting in silent understanding. In that moment, everything felt right, as if the pieces of a puzzle were finally falling into place.
At least it felt like that in the moment.
As they pulled into Seonghwa's driveway, San let out a contented sigh, a sense of peace settling over him.
"Fucking finally"
"Yeah. Fucking finally"
Seonghwa's voice suddenly cut through the car windows as San jumped slightly at the dark figure, "STOP CUSSING AROUND LIKE THAT"
Oh how he loved Seonghwa.
...to be continued
——————————————————————
FINALLY!
Now that they've fucking TALKED about it, maybe things can get spicy again!
Yippy😋