'my body hurts like shit.'
the sky was pitch black, the wind cold. how could people wear hero costumes that didn't cover their entire body? or maybe you were just someone who was always naturally cold. all types of buildings, whether the lights were on or off zoomed past your vision as you flew as fast as you could. jumping from rooftop to rooftop gave you memories of u.a, and it had only been a couple seconds since you left.
it was gonna be hard. you turned your back on everything and everyone in a matter of seconds. the thought made your tears fly off your face and into the sky like mere speckles of dust. either they'd disappear before anyone could see them, or they'd make their mark on the ground below.
it was so dark out you were barely able to make out the outline of your house. it was pitch black inside, as it should be. the door was only a couple feet away, and as you deactivated your quirk to start walking, memories of coming here with your classmates and friends filled your mind. it made you sad again, knowing you'd probably never see any of them again. you left without saying goodbye; without saying a single word.
you just vanished.
they would probably hate you, like izuku probably does. you didn't wanna do that, but just like he had forced himself to leave you, you forced yourself to leave him. it'd be hypocritical of him to be upset, but you knew he wouldn't care. would he try going after you? that, you didn't know.
'shoto, katsuki.. i'm really sorry.' those two idiots meant the world to you. you still remembered when you first met them. all of you hated each other, and the thought makes a sour lob-sidied smile grace your lips. as you unlocked your door and made yourself in, immediate coldness covered your skin like it did when you were outside. but this was a different cold. it reminded you of reality: you were all alone.
your eyes went wide at the sight. every single thing was utterly destroyed. the couches, tables, small decorations, lights were shattered; glass all over the floor. big and small pieces of wood and other types of materials flooded the floor. it made your heart sink as you took in the environment. wherever you looked, it was nothing but destruction.
'emiko.. riku.' you sighed deeply as you carefully walked into the place you used to call home. the floors creaked a little with some of your footsteps. the smell of dust and cold haunted basement filled your nose. oddly enough, you liked the smell as you roamed the kitchen. the lights didn't work, since no one was paying the bills anymore. it smelled like rotten food, making you cover your already covered nose.
'like a ghost town.' distant memories of you living here like normal played with each room you went into whether it was from before or during u.a. once you had finished exploring the downstairs, you went up. the hallways and doors were the exact same. the walls were scratched and in terrible condition. "first you ruin my life, then my home." anger filled you. the audacity.
the first stop was your room. it was mostly empty, since you had all of your stuff at the dorms. but whatever was left behind, it couldn't be saved. why they did this? you didn't care why, you just wanted to make them pay. everything they did was more of a reason to do what you were doing.
you were going to find them and kill them both.
"and i don't care the consequences." you declared, bent down and staring at a picture of you and your dad. the glass was shattered, but the picture was in perfect condition. after you had scraped the glass away, you lightly touched your dads cheek with your finger. it was a simple picture of you two posing, you holding one of his inventions with a tight smile. but you could tell you were pretty amazed with what you were holding. your dad knew that, evident of the proud smile on his face as he had his arm hooked over your shoulder.
like you did when staring at a picture of you and izuku, a tear fell down your cheek. it soaked a spot on the paper. how could this come to be? you never liked him because he made no effort to be a dad. but now that you knew why, you just wish he would've told you, not be afraid of what could happen if he did. but he did try to do that, and you shut him out. but it wasn't your fault. you had a reason to do that. it was too late for that. but one you realized you were wrong, he pulled the same move and shut you out. you two were never on the same page, and if you didn't wanna accept that before, you had to now.
he's dead, and you can't do anything about it. the guilt and regret would be something you'd have to live with forever. there were no right or wrong person, you both did what you thought was right, it was just unfortunate circumstances. that wasn't your fault. emiko coming in and ruining everything wasn't any of your faults, not even your dad's. he didn't know, so it wasn't his fault. even if you tried to warn him, he had his reason, and he couldn't be at fault for that.
'you still had to pay the price though.' you stood up and stuffed the picture in your glove. the paper moved against your skin. 'and i'll make sure they pay it too.' you continued to look around your room. your dresser was broken, clothes all over the floor. they were dirty to the seams. your book bag could only fit so much, so you had to choose wisely of what you took, ignoring what you had already packed back at the dorms.
your perfume bottles were shattered and the liquid stained the wood floor. your closet doors were hanging by the hinges, much like you had the door to your dad's lab before it fell. the nice aroma of the expensive liquid mixed with the moldy and wet smell of the walls and floors. you had managed to pack one more decent outfit before deciding the rest wasn't worth it. you turned to look at your bed, and the memory of emiko slashing your eye played in your mind.
tiny little you all helpless and defenseless. as you opened the drawer to your nightstand to grab anything that could be useful, you thought about that incident. 'is that why they decided to train me? if all for one was after us, and with mom out, then it'd be better if i had some way to protect myself, or better yet, run.'
to run, was to be fast.
but why lightning?
you sat on your bed. the pieces came together, and it made sense.
do you really think your speed effects me?
you felt your eyelashes bat against your skin, sighing deeply. "i don't know if id rather be left dead than this."
was your dad selfish to bring you back? possibly, he could've lived a better life if he had chose to leave you dead. maybe he could've ran away with katsumi, and they could be living a nice life far away. that could've been if you were still dead, but you weren't. he brought you back to life. he wanted to, even knowing the consequences.
you stared at your room one last time, remembering all the days and nights you stood here and did nothing. nothing came good from here, yet it was sad to turn your back on it. the memory of you and izuku making out only for riku to walk in on you guys made you laugh through your nose. but it didn't amount to the bed memories, so with one final look, you turned around and never looked back.
the next door down was riku's, and a deep pit of dread filled your stomach. but you went in anyway. immediately the smell made you gag. it was different from the smell from your room and the house. you couldn't bring yourself to describe it, only suck it up and look around. pictures of you, whether it was you by yourself or you with other people were everywhere. it made you feel uneasy. some of those were of you and izuku, except his face was scratched out and drawn out with black marker.
'so weird..' you looked at different pictures of you with someone else. katsuki, shoto, your dad, all might, just about anyone that wasn't you was scratched out. how he got those pictures? you would never question a stalker. a psychopath. the smell of semen and the left-over substance stained pictures of you. the smell was that, and it made you gag more and more. pictures on his desk of you had unhealthy amounts of his seed on them, it disgusted you to the core.
needless to say you got out there quick. next was your dad and emiko's room. it was destroyed as you roamed around, unaware of the goosebumps that covered your exposed skin. on your dad's side of the bed, you saw a picture frame of him and emiko. they looked like a normal couple, but when you noticed the frame sticking out like there was too much paper between it and the glass, you picked it up and removed the back piece. another picture fell out and onto the floor. you bent to pick it up, turning it around to see a picture of him and your mom.
you tilted your head as you observed the two pictures. he clearly looked happier with your mom, the thought made you wonder how it turned out so bad. was it because of you? your mom had left because she was afraid all for one would go after you and your dad again, so if you were never in the picture, would she have ever even left?
and izuku. he is a good man, and the perfect man for you. you two remind me of myself and katsumi.
'unfortunately i see the resemblance..' you and izuku were like them, even this part where you've separated and left each other behind. everything was good, until it wasn't.
you left that room quickly too. there wasn't much to it, except for one of your dads shirts that smelled like him. you took that with you, unsure of what to even do with it. but you couldn't bare be in there any longer. it just reminded you of what he now was, and the person he shared that room with was the reason why.
you loathed this house.
the lights to your dads lab were on, but were dim and flickering, the destroyed door and debris that still stood from after you broke into your dad's lab. "i guess i never turned them off.." you said lowly as you walked in. you were so distracted with the secrets you were finding out about and then the text shoto had sent you. turning off the lights were the last thing on your mind.
the cabinet with your files and experiments were shredded and ripped up. even if you wanted to go through and read every single one, you couldn't anymore. there was no salvaging anything in that room except for a small first aid kit. it'd be useful, and you'd be stupid to not take it. the syringes with your memories were rolling on the floor, but not broken. you picked one up and stared at it, the number '4' staring back at you.
emiko killed you. she had known all along. why she was doing this? you knew where to go for answers. you left that room, and went to your dad's workshop. there, you picked up a spare knife and a screwdriver. there wasn't much to the room, as you knew little to nothing about it. you looked around as much as you could, analyzing the work done for costumes and gadgets for anyone your dad worked for. his work was cool, and figuring out who'd keep it going even after his death was a task for another day.
as you were walking down the steps, the sound of rustling downstairs made you freeze. immediately you stopped in your tracks, but your loud footsteps and creaking wood under you gave you away.
"oh y/n. you stopped by."
your heart dropped at that voice. quickly you made your way to the bottom of the steps and hid behind a wall. there, you could hear the footsteps of riku echoing throughout the empty house. a laugh left his nose as he stopped in his tracks, the sound of him lightly kicking glass under his feet as it slid towards you. "you don't have to be so quiet, i know you're there."
you didn't listen to him. the closer his footsteps got, the more you braced yourself for a fight. you unbuttoned the button keeping your dagger in place, hand hovering over it, ready to strike at any moment.
"i don't wanna hurt you or anything." he sounded genuine, but you knew better. "i actually came here against my mom's wishes. i knew you'd come by. after all, you've left u.a, right?"
your eyes slightly widened. how did he know? if you were gonna step out and face him, you weren't gonna tell him anything. 'he knows where i'm at, yet he's not coming for me.. what is he up to?'
"i figured it'd happen, seeing as since you lost the one person that was keeping you there. you probably think i have some quirk that can control you, that's why you're not speaking or showing yourself. that's fine. i expect nothing less from someone smart like you."
you stood silent. now your focus was on hearing him out, because what did he mean by that first sentence? the hand hovering over your dagger moved to lay against the wall, your posture now relaxing.
"but there's someone who wants to speak to you, so go over to third street and walk down the alley until you see a building with a wind vane on it. it's pretty worn down so you can't miss it."
and with that, he was gone. you hadn't realized how hard your breathing was, or how hard your heart was thumping. you waited a couple minutes in your spot until you felt it was safe to come out. as you walked out your house, you thought about the interaction.
that sixth sense that you seem to get when you encounter danger didn't go off when riku was speaking.
---
you fled your house, jumping from building to building until you landed on the highest on 3rd street. from the edge of the roof, you sat and watched the ground below. the city was up, despite it being late and dark. the slight breeze felt better than being in your house.
you took a deep sigh, leaning back until your back rested on the rooftop. there, you watched the stars. "what am i doing.. can i really do what i want? or did i just act on impulse."
you promised me we'd work on blackwhip together! but i see you've already went and done it yourself.
you stood up, dusting off the small rocks that stuck to your skin like tics on a dog. 'might as well get it down now. it could be useful later.'
from the moment you discovered black whip, you could never figure it out. there was something that triggered it, but you didn't know what. if you could just find it out and focus on it, you'd be able to use black whip safely.
fear.
'i was scared for izuku the first time it appeared, and that's what i thought of when we tried to use it during mount lady's exhibition.' but it didn't explain why it activated during the wedding and during your fight with izuku. 'when i think fear, it doesn't feel right. it has to be something else.'
you just had to think, but that was the problem. you never thought when it activated. you weren't thinking of it at all, and that's the problem. you acted on impulse, and doing whatever it took to make the circumstances turn out okay.
'think y/n. you always act on impulse. what's that feeling you get when you'll stop at nothing to fix something..'
you looked down at the ground below. it was a high height, and you could imagine you'd die if you suddenly fell down. you'd have no way to save yourself, but you'd have to think of something.
'something that's like fear, but you can't be scared of it.'
your eyes widened, and suddenly adrenaline filled your body.
"that's it."
you gulped, and stepped away from the edge. if you were wrong, there'd be heavy consequences. but you couldn't be scared. that wasn't the feeling. you just had to go for it, and as you turned your back to the city, you just hoped that you were right.
'and if it's not, then i deserve the ending i'll get.' you shut your eyes, took one last breath, and fell back.
the wind rushed through like high tide waves. it felt like you were drowning for air, yet you weren't underwater. you fell fast, and you knew your demise would be soon. but you didn't let it get to you. instead, you left yourself feel the wind. you felt it rush past your skin, rustle your clothing, your hair, the laces to your shoes. you took in the feeling, and once you did, you smiled small, and thought of that feeling.
urgency.
you held out your hand, and when you opened your eyes, you saw those black and white lines shooting out for the nearest building. it stuck to the side, and you used the momentum to fly towards it. again, the wind rushed past your face, but as you held out your other hand, you saw another line shoot to a different building.
"hell yeah!" you laughed in amazement and relief. as you made your way to the second building, you planted your feet on the side and jumped out as far as you could. your black whip helped you propel yourself farther, and you took turns using it and your parkour skills to fly through the sky of the city. the wind and adrenaline rush felt great. you felt on top of the world. you head your laughs and cheers of excitement as you soared and flew about as you pleased.
'if i can keep doing this, ill be a lot more powerful than i am. this is a game changing quirk, and once i get it down, ill be even stronger.' you flipped in the air and soared about. right now, you had no worries. this was relaxing. it was fun.
your first task was set already. ever since the wedding, kaze had been missing. you never had the opportunity to even try and look for her. you were a terrible friend, you knew that. you just hoped you weren't too late. but even if you were, you'd be sure to avenge her in a way u.a would never allow you to.
'kaze.' you thought about her and the short time you two had together as you landed on a different building. 'i swear im coming for you.'
go over to third street and walk down the alley until you see a building with a wind vane on it. it's pretty worn down so you can't miss it.
"well what do i have to lose." the reason you came out here was to explore what you couldn't explore at u.a. this was the real world, and you could die. but that didn't mean you were gonna sit and let that scare you. you wanted revenge. you wanted to find kaze. you wanted to find your mom. what did you have to lose?
and that was your motivation as you made your way down 3rd street.
---
you didn't know whether to knock or to just let yourself in. after all, you had no idea who this person was that wanted to speak with you. matter of fact, riku could've been lying. this could be a trap, but you knew either way you had to keep your guard up. you grabbed your dagger out of its hilt, activated your quirk, and spoke up.
"whoever's in there, if you try anything stupid, i won't hesitate to kill you."
the inside was silent. lights were on, so you knew people were in there. the silence was a lot to take in. you knew that whoever was on the other side was preparing themselves for you too. they wouldn't hesitate to kill you neither, but you knew you could be faster than anyone who was behind there.
"same as always, hm rai?"
that damn raspy voice. you should've known it was shigaraki. what did he want from you? he always enjoyed teasing you with his warnings whenever you two came across each other.
how much of your life do you not know? do you know how many secrets are being kept from you, my dear y/n?
there's secrets that will be revealed soon.
until next time, y/n rai. i would keep a close eye on those around you. some know more than others.
you kicked the door and it flew to the side, slamming into the wall harshly as you walked inside. the place was small, but big enough for the league of villains to resonate in. you were on high alert, but that sixth sense didn't go off, so you relaxed slightly as you and shigaraki had a stare off.
"shigaraki. what do you want this time?"
a small grin graced his cracked lips at your annoyed face. your lightning danced around your body, hand gripping your knife tight. "why so tense? if we wanted to hurt you, we would've done it already."
you looked around at the other members. spinner, kurogiri, dabi, twice, and toga all stood off to the side like they were instigating. toga smiled widely once you two made eye contact, and she gleefully waved at you. "hi y/n! long time no see!"
you ignored her, drawing your eyes back to shigaraki. "i'd be careful with your words. i'll kill you."
he was full of amusement. "oh? i thought heroes didn't kill."
you sighed, feeling the breeze of the night air on your back. "just tell me what you want."
"i want you to join us."
you scoffed. how pathetic. "this again? it didn't work the first time, so why are you trying again?"
if anyone saw you talking to the league of villains like this, you'd be done for. "no no, i wanted you dead. i wanted bakugo to join us. but you're right, it didn't work." the water from his glass left a water mark on the dark table shigaraki leant on.
"so why didn't you kill me? why don't you kill me now?"
"i couldn't." he said after taking a sip of water. "i wasn't allowed to." you rose an eyebrow, quirk shutting off.
"wasn't?"
the trees and bushes rustled. "emiko and i used to work together, under all for one. when we captured you, the plan was to kill you, but she wanted to wait to kill your father before doing so."
you narrowed your eyes at shigaraki, taking a step towards him. "i know you guys were working together. she has your quirk."
said man scoffed. "she stole it from me."
a small smirk filled your lips. "how unfortunate." you said cockily. "so you just wanna use me to get back at her? because you can't? what, you don't trust your own league?"
"don't you wanna get revenge on her?" his stupid bribes weren't gonna work for you. there was no way you'd ever become a villain.
"i don't need you or your pathetic squad to get what i want. i'll do it on my own." you declared, twisting your dagger through your fingers.
his fingers gripped his glass tightly. "you're not far off from becoming a villain. your father dead, your sanity dropping, leaving u.a. i can see it in your eyes y/n." your face dropped, making him smirk instead. "it won't take long for you to completely break. why not do it now?"
you looked over at the other villains, disgust filling your body. "i'm not a villain. i have morals, and i do things for good. you're just lowlifes who go around and do horrible things just for the sake of it." you glared at shigaraki with a glowing eye. "we're not the same."
you don't know why you even came. this was a waste of your time. just as you turned around, shigaraki spoke again. "well if that doesn't interest you, then maybe your friend who's missing will."
that stopped you in your tracks, and quickly you turned back around and stepped towards shigaraki. "where is she." you demanded to know.
seeing your anger, he smirked and hummed in amusement. "join me and i'll tell you."
you slammed your fist on the table, making the liquid in his glass spill on the table. "again. i don't need your help. if you're not gonna tell me where emiko or kaze are, then im leaving. i can do it on my own."
"you know y/n," shigaraki leaned towards you. "since emiko and i aren't on the same side anymore, i don't have to obey her. i can have you captured, tortured, killed..." he trailed off in hopes of intimidating you. "really anything i want."
you turned your back to walk out, your lightning flowing around your body, daring to spark anybody that came near you. "then do it. i'd like to see you try." you side eyed the league as you were walking out. something about them standing there ticked you off. how could villains live their life like that? it made you think of uraraka, and that was enough for you to take out your dagger and throw it towards the league.
"spinner!"
everyone's eyes widened when seeing your knife plunge his neck. blood started pouring, and before anyone knew it, a black and white tendril reached out to grab your handle. it pulled out of spinner's neck, leading to him falling to the ground limp and dead. immediately toga bent down to his height, shaking him to wake him up. but it didn't work, and now all of the league were looking at you in utter shock.
but you were unfazed as you caught your knife and made the tendril disappear. with a glowing eye you gave everyone one final glance before walking out, but not without a warning. "follow me and i'll kill you. i'm not playing around."
everyone stood silent, watching you as you walked away. once you stepped onto the grass, you swung your knife to get spinner's blood off it. you were so angry your lightning was surging everywhere. it started from the bottom of your feet and made its way up to your head. when it passed through your hair, the remaining h/c turned white, leaving no trace of your original hair color.
---
random fact/ head cannon:
i accidentally deleted my notes that contained everything about this book and my future books lol. idk what head cannons i still had left so if you have any good ones leave them here! if i like them ill use them in future chapters :D