~{The secret of pain is hidden behind Yn's frightened silence; Chapter 2}~
[Sometimes our loved ones unknowingly push us towards an abyss that increasingly leads to death or anxiety.
Even though, according to them, this kind of behavior towards us is right for our good, they unacceptably and unknowingly depress us from inside completely. Due to this, our mental health is destroyed, for which there are only two ways of recovery: death, hospitalization, or the same affectionate love as before.
But how do we tell? When they ask you about this reason, is it right to hurt them by telling them the truth? "That they are the ones who gave us unconditional love without asking, but at the same time, they gave us fear, phobia, yearning, regret, dread, anxiety, and trepidation; feel apprehensive about their punishment, their disappointing face just for their children's mistake, to such an extent that we cannot longer bear it and think of killing ourselves even every second, every minute, every hour, and even we want to kill ourselves."
"Any advice to give? How do I do this? How do we tell them our feelings before dying?" A girl asked herself.]
~Y/n's Pov~
In my silence, Appa again asked calmly, "What happened? We're friends, right? So you don't hide things from your daddy; tell me." I cried, hugged him tightly, and after a long time, I said in a broken voice, "W--will you listen to me? Won't you get angry?"
"Yes, obviously, sweetie, I'll listen to everything, and that too calmly!" He said this while hugging, caressing my back and hair.
"What should I tell you?" I said it in confusion.
"What do you mean by what you should tell me? Tell me everything!" He requested.
"Appa, you may listen to me somehow, but will you understand my topic or will you try to understand me without misunderstanding me like you always do?" I asked while crying to console myself because it is certain that if Appa once said that he would not get angry and would understand peacefully, then he would respect his words and always follow what he said.
"Yes, I promise." Today, he was definitely more kind than usual. I have to do this quickly because it shows Appa's concern for me.
"There are so many things to say; I don't know where to start. Please tell me the topic." I spoke.
"Okay then, answer what I was asking; the topic about your friend was going on." He said it softly.
"Yes, he is my friend who was just helping me." I was a little confused.
"What kind of help is he doing by pretending to be a real boyfriend?" Appa asked in a sweet, affectionate voice.
I keep looking at Appa with a scared expression, but due to my silence, he reassures me and says, "I'm really not angry with you!" giving such consolation, he said clamly. "Tell me, sweetie! Why have you been behaving so strangely for so many days? If you aren't going to go again on the same ruined path that will destroy you, then what's all this and why?"
He added in the most convincing tone, "Tear out the secrets hidden inside of your heart, be open up with your appa, share your troubles with him, and see what kind of magic he does and ends your dolour in a pinch."
Yn controlled her fear and said, "The help was that I had moved on from Woojin, but I don't know how; since that day I didn't get that loving affection, I wouldn't be able to live without him and all the affectionate talks and activities that we did together with Woojin and me."
I added in an uncomfortable tone while sobbing, "I used to yearn for these things. It's not that I want this all; I had given up all those relationship things when you made us break up the same day you were admitted to the hospital, but I don't know why I couldn't help myself from this habit and took all those unacceptable and useless actions that made you so disappointed for me.
I thought about taking help from Woojin, but neither he nor you were with me, so I asked for Taehyung's help, and at that time he also helped me like a good friend."
As I put a full stop to my speech, Appa said calmly, in a slightly jealous tone, "Why didn't you share all this with me instead of outsiders?"
Being possessive, he said in the same loving voice, "I'm your Dada, so I can solve all your problems very well; it's my first and only right to, regretfully, whenever you've got any problem, to hold you when you need someone to support you beside you, then I will stand with you no matter what kind of matter it will be."
"Appa! I couldn't do all this at that time; I couldn't muster up the courage." I added, "And don't say this because you knew about my condition, there is no need to tell you; you know everything on your own, you knew everything anyway, but you did not help me, nor did you come forward and ask what happened?" I say the truth directly.
"I always tell you, sweetie, be open with me and share everything! No matter what it is, I have always assured you that I will support you, even if I scold you. You've got to inform me of all these things before they get worse to handle by you. Because I will never do more than necessary." Hearing this, I kept looking at him because this time Appa had really punished me by keeping his silence longer than necessary, which was too painful for me.
"Ohh, are you sure about this?" I added as he ignored.
This time, he became more possessive and spoke a little harshly. "And I really want to know the reason; tell me! Why didn't you share it?"
"You really want to know?" I said this while crying because I knew he would be a little upset after hearing my answer.
He nodded softly while wiping my tears. "Yes, tell me, I will listen to everything, and now I'm not scolding you, so stop crying; otherwise, I will really scold you."
I spoke: "How can I tell? When you didn't even talk to me and you were the one who said, *I hate your voice; don't speak in front of me until I give you permission*, then how could I tell you about my problem when you didn't give me permission to speak--"
"Yn enough!" Appa intervened and said it in a slightly strict voice.
"Why appa? Listen to me; you say it or you all will listen, so now listen to what I say: Sometimes the parents are also one of the reasons behind their children being so broken, but they never tell them, and no one even understands." I know I got rough as I see my appa hurtful eyes, which are trying to hard control his painful feeling.
I just broke down crying as Appa remained silent and listened to me without any displeasure. I am scared and expecting a hard slap from my father out of hurt, but he is comforting me by giving me affection. "Shiiiih, calm down! And please, whatever resentment there is for me, bring it out; I want to hear it all and also face it."
"Appa!" I say this because I got an unacceptable response.
"Yes! Later, I will give some answers to defend myself." He said it clamly.
He asked addedly, "Please carry on! Why didn't you share your hard times with me? Now, don't you feel comfortable with me anymore? Are you so afraid of me that you're afraid to even share your thoughts with me?"
Today, for the first time, Appa is listening to my slightly bitter words too calmly and lovingly; perhaps he will punish me for this in the end? Or is he listening to this all just because he saw my broken state? I questioned myself.
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~꒰˖♡ To be continued...... ♡˖꒱~
~ *♡*(◍•ᴗ•◍)*♡*
I apologise! I'm asking this again but do you have any request for happy moment? If yes then kindly give me some suggestion as you want about happy moment, I want to add it in the next chapter when everything will be fine between the two.