Life together in Lotus Pier was infinitely preferable to life apart. Wei WuXian became Wei Laoshi for several classes: teaching swordsmanship and archery as well as talisman courses. Lan WangJi was not permitted to teach or audit any Jiang proprietary classes; he was assigned to teach horsemanship, basic meditation, calligraphy classes, as well as the guqin for interested students. They both led night hunts for varying levels of juniors. When they wanted harder night hunts, they went off on their own.
Nights were spent in Wei WuXian's childhood room while a manor appropriate for a married heir was built. When they weren't teaching or out on a hunt, they could be found swimming in one of the lakes or rivers or sweating in the hot pool.
After the mid-Autumn Festival came Jiang WanYin's wedding to Wen Qing. Wei WuXian nearly teared up watching his shidi take his bows with a look of absolute adoration and disbelief on his face. She looked shocked and awed, like she wasn't really sure what was happening, but was happy about it. It was the first time he'd seen Wen Daifu not completely in control of what was happening in a long time. "They're a good match," Wei WuXian whispered to his love.
"Mmm."
"I hope our wedding isn't as gaudy as this. I like the color red; this is bordering on the absurd." It seemed like every building in Lotus Pier was decorated in red. Even the dirt walking paths had been coated with some sort of red soil or dust.
~*~
They traveled to Cloud Recesses after the wedding. Both men were immediately reinstalled in their previous roles with the addition that Wei WuXian was invited on night hunts now.
Wen Ning's wedding was a smaller, though hardly less elaborate, version of his older sister's. Wei WuXian was rather happy to see how blissful his friend looked, how pretty his new bride was. They were a good match.
The only thing that marred the festivities was seeing Wen Yuan pouting. "What's wrong," Wei WuXian sidled up to his young friend when the guests had moved to the newly erected banquet hall.
"Nothing."
Wei WuXian was truly in awe at the spectacular pout. "There's some reason you have that look on your face...."
The pout intensified. "Gufu says I have to live here now with Popo 'cause Gugu is pregnant and sick and can't take care of me properly. But Popo is sick, too, so she can't take care of me. Shenshen says I can't stay with them because she expects to get pregnant soon, too. Why does Gugu and Shenshen have to get pregnant? Why can't Shushu and Gufu do it instead? I bet they wouldn't get sick."
Wei WuXian tried very hard to not react. He'd known Wen Qing was having a horrible pregnancy; lately, she spent most of her days in bed, only getting up to wash and vomit. She had sent her blessings for her brother's marriage with Jiang Cheng rather than give them in person. Hopefully, her condition would ease shortly; he'd learned that many women became ill at the beginning of the pregnancy, but after a few months, the symptoms eased. He decided to ignore the part about men getting pregnant. "Your Shushu agrees?"
Wen Yuan's relaxed, settled into a quivering bottom lip. "He says it's complicated. He loves me, but he also loves Shenshen."
Complicated? How is it complicated? A'Yuan is... seven? Eight? Old enough to need nominal supervision. He'll be in classes all day. He just needs someone to make sure he eats his vegetables and washes before going to sleep. Someone to wipe his tears when he gets hurt and... make him feel like he's wanted.
Lan XiChen hmmed when asked about the problem. "It is complicated. The issue of succession always is. That's probably one of the main reasons why Jiang FengMian didn't adopt you. It's why your current adoption agreement shows you inherit only if Jiang WanYin has no other male heirs. With Wen QiongLin... there are probably more than a few who would prefer to have Wen Yuan as their next sect leader rather than the child of a Lan woman. By keeping Wen Yuan away from the order of succession, he eliminates that problem. Not that Wen Yuan is a problem; he is a delightful child."
Wei WuXian wanted to scream. He managed to keep his voice just on the edge of being frosty. "Neither Jiang Cheng nor Wen Ning will take A'Yuan into their households because it might interfere with their natural born children's' inheritance?"
Lan XiChen nodded. "You'd understand better if you were in a position to have your own children."
"You really think Lan Zhan would deny me if I said I wanted a child of my body? He wouldn't be happy about me gracing another person's bed, but he'd make sure our bridal bed was made with the softest sheets and he'd hope she'd conceive quickly and had an uneventful pregnancy and delivery." Wei WuXian was trembling in his anger. He was just glad that he no longer spouted wisps of demonic energy.
He returned to Cloud Recesses, still practically vibrating with anger. He avoided the Jingshi to head directly to the practice yard and began working his way through his sword forms. Stupid. Idiots. He started slashing at one of the practice dummies. How can they treat A'Yuan like that? He stared at the dummy now lying in pieces of the ground. It hurts, Mama. Why does it hurt me? Why is my chest all filled with lumps? Why does it make me angry?
What would you have done, Baba? If it had been Jiang Cheng and Shijie who had been orphaned and you were the sect leader with Jiang Shushu your former servant? Especially if Jiang Cheng had been older than me? Would you have kept them at arm's length? Your friend's children? Would you have adopted them or at least treated them as nearly your own? Would you have looked away, tacitly allowing Mama to whip Jiang Cheng for his infractions?
Mama... would you ever have thought it might be a good idea to cut Jiang Cheng's hand off to appease Wen Chao?
I know you considered it, Madame Yu. I saw you. I know why you decided not to: I'm not stupid. I saw you calculate what appeasing both that Wang woman and your hatred would cost.... The price of my hand, possibly my life, would have been the lives of your children. Had the price been any lower, you would have had me pay it twice over, I'm sure.
"Wei Laoshi? Are you alright?"
"Defend!" Wei WuXian attacked the senior disciple, driving him back with slow and methodical strokes. He was still only doing basic sword forms; the disciple lasted mere moments before his sword flew off. "Next," he ordered, and faced the next disciple.
"Wei Ying..." the soft voice intruded into his internal monologue of loathing. "Wei Ying... spar with me."
"Fine."
"Switch to a wooden blade." Wei WuXian reluctantly sheathed Suibian and picked up a practice blade. They could hit harder with these without worrying about accidentally slicing a body part off. "Form one," Lan WangJi ordered and the both stepped into position for the first Lan sword form. Three taps of their blades, Wei WuXian ducked and Lan WangJi's blade swung through the now empty space. They backed up and repeated the exercise switching who ducked a few times. "Form two," Lan WangJi announced and they stepped into the position to start.
I hated doing these sword forms as a fifteen year old. Why are we doing them again? Wei WuXian stopped following the prescribed motions, and, instead, moved into one of the basic Jiang attack patterns. Lan WangJi countered it neatly. Wei WuXian sped up the movement, flowing effortlessly from one form to another. When performed at the speed of a sword fight, the Jiang style was like water rippling over the ground and the opponent. The Lan style was more elegant, like calligraphy; each footstep, every movement of the blade, was carefully and meticulously placed through years of rigorous training.
For more than two sichen, the river fought against the brush. One swirled and eddied while the other wrote a poem. For the disciples watching, it was entrancing: two masters of their craft dancing around each other, neither gaining an advantage, neither losing ground.
Lan XiChen called a halt. "WangJi. Wei WuXian. It's nearly curfew."
"I haven't won yet," Wei WuXian growled and shoved sweaty hair away from his face and neck.
"You can try again tomorrow," the sect leader soothed. "For now, I'm sure you have a few bruises that can use a rest. Or perhaps a soaking in the Cold Pond."
Wei WuXian shoved his practice blade into one of the holders, called Suibian to his hand, and strode off to the Jingshi. Once there, he bathed until the water was cold, and scrubbed his skin until the pink patches turned red and a few started bleeding.
"Wei Ying," Lan WangJi knelt at the edge of the tub and gently removed the washcloth from his husband's grip. "Talk to me."
"You won't understand."
"Talk to me. Maybe I will."
"I don't even understand!" He got out of the tub and started drying himself, ignoring the bloody zones. "How can I make you understand when I don't know why I'm angry!"
"XiongZhang said something about Wen Yuan made you upset."
Wei WuXian glared at his husband. "Something about Wen Yuan? Something? His parents are dead. His grandmother is too old to care for him properly. And his other relatives want to shunt him away because...." I want to punch something. I want... I hurt so much and... I didn't cause this. It's not my fault. Why does it hurt so much, Mama?
"Talk to me," Lan WangJi urged, gathering his husband into his arms.
So Wei Ying talked. About being young and his parents leaving and not coming back and being scared and hungry and lonely and scared. About the kindness of strangers. About the abuse of strangers. Of stealing food and clothing. Or fighting older kids for a warmer or safer place to sleep. Of fighting dogs over scraps and nearly losing his limbs and his life. He talked about being found by Jiang FengMian and being taken in. Of dogs and trees and fighting with Jiang Cheng and soup. He talked about doing well in his studies: how, despite his late start, he soon caught up to Jiang Cheng, and then surpassed him. He talked of being whipped. Of being physically punished for any and all infractions, no matter how minor. Of being made Head Disciple over older disciples and them resenting him for it at first. He talked of being treated almost as a brother and a son, but not actually ever being allowed to be a brother or a son. Of being reminded constantly that he could never be a brother or a son. He talked of sacrifice and commitment and what it meant to be a Jiang while being reminded, daily sometimes, that he would never be a Jiang.
He talked slower about the fall of Lotus Pier, burying his face in the safety of his love's shoulder to hide his tears. Of flames and Zidian and his hand. Of being the reason the Wen attacked.
"You're not the reason," Lan Zhan reminded him. "They were always going to attack. You were just an excuse."
"I know." Wei Ying pulled his head back and pointed to it. "I know I didn't murder Jiang Shushu or Madame Yu. I know the Wen attacked because they had been planning it for months, perhaps years." He pointed to his chest. "In here, I question.... If I had deliberately shot poorly at the archery conference and not drawn attention to myself. If I had kept my mouth shut and just did as I was told in the Indoctrination Session. If I hadn't protected MianMian in that cave. If I had escaped with the others and left you behind with Jiang Cheng so he could have the honor of killing the XuanWu of Slaughter.... Would any of it have made a difference? Would more of my fellow disciples have survived? Would Jiang Cheng have gone back and lost his Core? Would I have felt responsible for that and searched for a way to restore him even though it meant I would be less?"
Lan Zhan sighed and tightened his hold on his lover. "Wei Ying has never been 'less'. Never. Not before you had a Core. Not after you gave it away.
"Nothing you have done, ever, has been the cause for Lotus Pier's destruction. All of that, every bit, is because of Wen RuoHan, Wen Chao, Wang LingJiao, and Wen ZhuLiu and their disciples and soldiers.
"Your actions, over and over again, show you are a protector, that you care. You shot well in the archery contest because to win would give YunmengJiang honor. You defended a woman you hardly know against a jealous woman because that is what a man should do. You gave your Core to Jiang WanYin because you love him as a brother and hate to see him hurting. You care, Wei Ying, for so many, with zero expectations that they will, in return, care for you. You love so many, with your body, mind, and soul, with no expectations they will ever love you back."
Wei Ying burrowed as much as possible into the embrace. "I care. I love. It wasn't my fault." He wiped his suspiciously wet eyes against the nearest fabric. "Why am I like this? Why am I so angry right now?"
"A'Ying... you're allowed to feel hurt. You're allowed to see the injustice being done to XiaoYuan and be upset by it because of your own struggles or just because he's an innocent child and has done nothing to deserve what's happening to him right now. Try to sleep, my love. We can look for a solution in the morning."
He fell asleep still questioning, still hurting.
Dear readers.
Your responses regarding the hand fasting! Loved them. Thank you. You have truly brightened my last couple of days.
Moving on to... challenges.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
- Aitch.