Silas' POV
All I could feel was guilt and regret over how I reacted during our last session, Arundelle's reaction was what I expected it to be and so much more.
He's usually quiet and withdrawn, doesn't normally yell out or speak loudly unless he's triggered or in a lot of emotional distress.
I feel terrible about what happened earlier, but I know deep down that he loves and cares for us deeply, but struggles on how to outwardly show it to us.
I quickly leave my office, deciding to do my paperwork and other institute business at another time, Arundelle's more important than that.
I felt like he wasn't in the normal spots like his bedroom or in the library. I even checked the music room, kitchen and game room! I suppose that he goes like watching tv every now and then, apparently he was on a Bridgerton kick and was convinced Eloise was totally gay for her best friend, Penelope! I swear that boy tries to make everyone gay, it's adorable and oh so hilarious.
I finally find him in the smaller, secondary living room that we have closer to Birch's room. It's brighter in color and has lots of toys and games for Birch to play with. I've thought about getting him an outdoor play gym but haven't yet decided on one yet. Funny enough, I could see Jewel and Myka playing in it with him; they all have so much energy, I could see them loving it.
I found Arundelle looking at the board games we gave lining a bookshelf away from the tv, he seemed to be contemplating something when he noticed me. I expected him to tense when he saw me but to my delight, he relaxed slightly when he saw me.
That made me feel slightly better about what happened, but my guilt continued to eat me up inside as I reflected on my actions.
I look at Arundelle's face, and I can tell how distraught he is, how much our words hurt each other. I know in that moment, I didn't think about him being my patient, I just wanted to hold my boyfriend like I can hold Paisley or the others. I know Arundelle is different, and that's okay but sometimes I wish for something more with him, a deeper connection holding us together.
I look down at the floor in guilt and whisper, "I'm sorry for earlier, I didn't do that as a therapist. I let my feelings as your boyfriend cloud my judgement. I hope you can forgive me."
I turn away from where he was in the living room and go to walk away, give him his space, when I felt a thin gloved hand wrap around my wrist.
I looked down at my arm in shock, this is the first real time he's ever really touched one of us.
I mean, yes, he does things like playing with Birch or helping with the laundry or even lightly brushing past us in the library but this felt different... tender and caring like the energy Paisley exudes on a daily basis.
When I looked into Arundelle's eyes, I could see love and some of his anxiety but he seemed... better than I've ever seen him before.
"It's fine, I-I got these gloves from Hades as a present forever ago, and I just didn't want to have to wear them. But I like it, it feels like I'm.. protected? Maybe... I dunno." Arundelle shakes his head as he drops his hand as he thinks of what he wants to say.
"I know you were never intentionally making me hurt or feel betrayed but I overreacted and I'm sorry for that. I don't want to leave, I was just feeling a little stuck in the situation." He looks at me then walks over to the couch and sits on it
I follow him and say, "You didn't overreact, I over stepped our boundaries that we already agreed upon early on when you first came here to be my patient, then I also didn't ask before I touched you. I guess with it being so long since our last private session and not one of our group sessions I temporarily forgot some of our boundaries and I apologize for that, Arundelle, I truly do."
He nodded he had tears in his eyes that he quickly wiped away and said, "She broke me, ya know? I dealt with her constantly screaming hurtful things at me, throwing vases and anything she could get her hands on at me."
He pulls up his shirt sleeve to reveal a large gash that had scarred over on his forearm, it looked jagged and unkempt, like it was never properly treated.
My heart hurt as I looked at it and asked, "Can you tell me about that scar or would you rather not? It's okay if you don't, you're in a safe space here."
Arundelle gave me a small smile and nodded and said, "I got it on the last day I saw her, the very next day my father sent her away. He never really told me where she went, I thought it was a mental institution like those you see on the news, with the white walls and patients screaming constantly. I don't know why that comforted me but it did."
He took a deep breath and said, "She was screaming at me for the usual things, being a disappointment, being too quiet or for moving something I didn't, but on that particular day I had accidentally broken one of the breakfast plates she had gotten from her deceased mother and she went off on me."
I could see his finger tremble before he tightened his hands into fists and said, "She pushed me to the ground and I fell on the broken china that was on the floor on my arms, she then took a large piece of it and slashed my arm so bad it looked like I was bleeding a river."
He sniffled then said, "Then she sat on the floor and yelled at me to clean up my mess, but not before she threw bleach on me because I was a disgusting child, then made me wrap my arm up so I wouldn't bleed everywhere. My father found out about it when he came in from work, they fought about it all night as I hid in my closet. I could hear their screams, I sometimes still do. The very next morning the nurses came to take my mother away and I've never seen her since, I kinda hoped she rotted away in there."
I was so filled with sadness, anger, but most of all disbelief. Why hadn't his father done something before then?
I knew Arundelle could read what I was thinking when he said, "My father did his best to help her but he didn't make the best of money back then. He was overjoyed when a friend of his knew about your institution of sorts that accepted patients free of charge, that all he had to do was sign away his parental rights. I'm glad I'm not there anymore, if I was, I'd probably be dead by now."
I winced as he said that and proclaimed, "Don't talk like that, it hurts all of our hearts to think we might not of had you in our life... and your fantastic cooking." I tried to joke, but it came off flat, me trying to lighten the mood.
Arundelle gave a small laugh and replied, "As long as it's not Roman cooking, that twink burns everything!" He got up from the couch and opened the living room door only to have all the boys fall through the opening but Xavier, Paris, and Hades who were leaned up against the wall.
Roman immediately popped up and yelled, "Hey! I don't burn everything, just most things!"
Birch popped his cute little head from underneath Jewel who was blushing in embarrassment of being caught.
Birch whined and said, "Daddy save me from the big boy sammich (sandwich), me feel like jelly."
I smiled at him in affection and easily pulled him out as the other boys rolled away and got up, me holding Birch on my hip as he played with the stuffed cat in his arms.
As the boys we're about to leave I raised my brow and said, "Hold it there, boys, what in gods green earth possessed you to think it was okay to listen in on our private conversation? Especially when it involved sensitive material?"
Most of them looked embarrassed but a few of them had perfected the art of resting I couldn't care less face, like the ones Hades, Paris, Xavier, and Basil were giving me.
"No one has an answer okay... let's ask the baby then..." I almost smirked as I said that, everyone knew that especially when Birch was in headspace he was an open book. If you told him a secret at breakfast, then the whole house would know it by lunch.
"Oh god no, not the baby!"
"C'mon man, that's a low blow even by your standards."
"I'm not saying anything..."
"Not fair, he's a dominance lightweight!"
"Rebel, Birch, rebel! Tell the daddy nothing!"
"I literally don't even care."
"Can I nap now, this was so exhausting."
*whistles run tune*
"Just tell him, goddamn, this is so annoying!"
I glare at Hades for cursing in front of Birch then school my features then bounce Birch lightly in my arms as I smile at him, he gives me a toothy smile back and waves his cat in my face.
"Hey baby boy what cha got there?" I ask in amusement, I could see the fond looks the guys gave Birch as he yelled out, "My kitty!"
"Oh yeah? What sound does a cat make? Does it bark?" I ask, knowing full well the answer but we've been working a lot on basic elementary knowledge with him before we try the advanced stuff.
Birch giggles then shakes his head no then says, "Silly daddy! Kitty meows!"
I give an over exaggerated devastated sigh then exclaim, "My bad, baby boy! Now can you tell me who's idea it was to peep in on daddy's conversation earlier?"
Birch tilts his head slightly in thought then nods his head yes then says, "Ro-ro! He said we were gonna be super secret ninjas! So we had to be super quiet! But I couldn't hear nothin' then got bored, so I went to go get my kitty and I played with it til Jewel picked me up a few minutes before the door opened, then crash!"
Birch's explanations in headspace tended to be long winded and usually in the middle of it he'd get bored of one subject and start talking about another.
I was very proud that he kept on track but also worried that no one else saw him walk away, go up multiple flights of stairs, go into his bedroom to get his toy, then back all the way down again to meet up with everyone at the living room door.
"Who let my my baby wander off gods knows where?!" I seethed out loud, I was kinda pissed but it was also on me, not checking up on him.
All the boys looked guilty, especially Paisley who looks after Birch most of the time.
Roman yelled, "Not it!" Before running out of the room, I could hear him cursing up a storm as he fell onto the hardwood floors; running in socks on hardwoods, not recommended!
We all laughed as the others soon left the room to go wherever they wanted before we had dinner. Personally, I wanted to play with baby Birch before then, hopefully
I bounced Birch in my arms as we made it over to his toy box and asked, "How about we play a bit before dinner, hmm?"
Birch jumped up and down as I sat him on the floor next to me and yelled, "Yeah! We play pirates! You the captain, me the mermaid!"
I chuckled at him, his obsession with mermaids especially in bath time was astounding, he adored them especially the color changing ones!
Birch quickly got out his favorite mermaid doll as I quickly realized I'd have to make an order for some pirate toys and maybe a pirate ship and some costumes for him to dress up in.
Although thinking about Birch forcing Hades or Xavier in mermaid and pirates costumes had me laughing on the inside, but I knew they'd do whatever it took to keep Birch happy.
Even if it was completely embarrassing, we love that boy to death and want the world for him.
A.N.:
Sorry about the long chapter but I wanted more if a back story on Arundelle and I just couldn't help myself with the cute moments with Birch.
I missed baby Birch okay?
Anyways, let me know if there's anything else you'd change or add in, I already redid the rules and punishments/rewards on the Rules chapter if you wanna look at it. I typed it this time, I know it doesn't look as cute but it works better for this app for some reason.
I've been thinking about doing an Easter chapter or a carnival one soon, or maybe a movie theater one? They all sound interesting and if I'm honest, I'll probably end up writing all of them once I get my inspiration for them.
Writings hard, guys, but I love the worlds I can create with it and I love doing it.
Once again, Wattpad doesn't pay me for my stories or anything so I do all of this in my free time whenever I can.
Anyways, I loved writing this chapter and I hope to see more of the complexities of each of the guys in the future, happy reading!
P.S.- Who can guess which exclamation was Roman?
I love writing as him, and let's just say our humor is one and the same!
Much love,
Sunny ☀️