Dark Desires | Chapter 19
"SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU!!!" I heard my mom scream, causing me to jolt from my bed.
"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" I heard the familiar voice of my father's roar. I quickly get up and start to walk downstairs, my heart in my throat as I see them both fighting. Standing by my dad is a short brunette female who looks to be in her mid-30s.
"Hi Emma, I know I haven't been in touch for a while, but I just got married." My dad pauses, turning towards the Brunette female, a warm smile on her lips as they look at each other with love. "I'm trying to change, I'm not the same man that you grew up with. I wanted to know if you would want to come stay with us for a while?" My dad asks, a pleading look in his eyes.
I look over at my mom who's shaking her head rapidly, I look back at my dad, my heart clenching at the sudden confrontation.
It would be so nice to get away from my mom and what if he has changed...? But what about Ashley and Aelin? I would have to leave them and everything I know here...
"I-I.." I pause, everyone's eyes on me.
"See she doesn't want to, so stop forcing MY daughter into something she doesn't want" My mom hisses with venom in her voice.
"I'm not, she is perfectly capable of making her own decisions!" My father retorts in a harsh voice.
A thousand thoughts running through my mind but the only one I can hear is what about Ashley and Aelin. I feel my hands start to shake as my parents yell at each other. I'm barely able to hear my own thoughts before I can even realize what I'm about to do. I yell "JUST STOP, JUST LEAVE, AND NEVER COME BACK! That's what you're best at." I cry as everyone in the room goes silent, I glance in the mirror across the hallway and see my eyes are glowing red, I try to close them thinking I'm seeing things but they glow for a good few seconds before they fade.
Oh my god, what was that?
Moments later, my father and his wife walk out the door not even saying goodbye. I felt my heart clench as they walked out the door, I turn towards my mom, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
"I knew you loved me more." My mom remarks before walking out of the room. I blink my eyes rapidly, not wanting the tears to fall.
What have I done? No wait, I still have Ashley and Aelin... Everything is fine... I'm fine... I'm fine... I'm fine... BREATH!
I try to remind myself before I have a panic attack. Still feeling my heart in my throat, my legs feel numb but somehow they guide me back to my room, quickly getting into the shower. I sink to the floor as guilt washes over me and tears start to disappear in the water.
*tap tap tap*
I quickly turn the water off and grab a towel and look over at my window expecting Ashley or Aelin but my eyes are met with a surprise.
"Diana!?" I whisper yell to myself, unlocking my window.
"Hey!!" She giggles climbing through feet first.
"Hey? What are you doing here?" I question watching her stand up and look around.
"Eh, I was bored and just decided to come hang out. Plus I figured, since you're going to be hanging around more often I ought to know you a little better." She explains with a smile across her lips.
"There's really not much to know. I'm just a normal girl but with the ability to not die." I say rolling my eyes at the not being able to die part.
"Mhm... No one is normal. And there is always something to know." she shrugs, looking at me like she's trying to figure me out. I'm still wrapped in a towel.
"Well guess you'll never know." I smile as I walk towards my bathroom to put clothes on. She follows. "Ummm... I'm going to put clothes on, give me a sec." I say as she stops. "Oh sorry I wasn't paying attention."
* * *
"So what's your story? Diana... whatever your last name is." I ask curiously.
"It's Moore. And I guess you'll have to figure it out as well Emma Jones." She walks past me, brushing my shoulder, before plopping on my bed. Chills travel through my arms.
"I'm a pretty good judge of character." She says with a grin.
"Then read me." I challenge her, putting my hands on my hips, shifting my weight slightly.
"Fine. You definitely have family issues and of course, you told us you have trust issues. So someone hurt you that you love, your dad perhaps? And your weird ex that's now your best friend. I doubt that was your idea. You still have strong feelings for her, if not love her. And " She rambles as I stand in shock.
How can someone I've known for a few days know me better than my own friends? I didn't even tell Ashley and Aelin about my dad. They think I only met him a few times when I was little. But he was in my life until a few years ago.
"H-How, what?" I stand in shock.
"I came over earlier... I saw a guy with a girl. And I heard some yelling. I came over earlier for the same reason though. That is to get to know you." She explains sitting up on my bed and patting beside her.
I stay silent, my eyes stinging from forming tears, I'm standing not knowing if I should be mad she was spying on me or happy that she actually cares or scared that she actually cares.
"Emma, I'm sorry. And I know you have trust issues and I get it. But do you want to talk? I mean I got all the time in the world, literally." she giggles at the last part but quickly stands up and gives me a hug. Heart to heart I feel safe and at peace for the first time in my life. I close my eyes and sink deeper into her arms.
Tears start to prickle in my eyes as my legs feel wobbly.
"I-I don't know... My dad wanted me to go with him and part of me wants to go because maybe he is different and he seems to have such a perfect life now and my moms a bitch but I would be leaving Ashley and Aelin. I'd feel guilty if I just left them to live a perfect life with my dad... But I don't even know if they care and now my dad's gone and I can't change my mind... Not to mention I'm pretty sure I just found out I have a new power which means I'm going to have to learn to control that and Ashley isn't around very often to help and when Aelin comes around it ends badly for my mental health so I'm just dying.. And I can't take the easy way out and kill myself because the universe thought it'd be funny to give me the ability not to die! It made me a depressed, gay, super fucking human and now I feel like the whole world is just laughing at me." I fall apart.
Diana doesn't say a word, she just tightens the hug, making me feel even safer in her arms. I couldn't stop the tears even if I wanted to, they just came falling.
"I'm sorry for ruining your shirt." I half-heartedly laugh as I pull away from the hug, looking at the giant stain of tears and mascara.
"We got plenty of bleach at home." Diana remarks, trying to lighten the mood. I couldn't stop a giggle from escaping my lips as I try to frantically wipe the tears away.
"I know what it's like to die but come back against your will." Diana says, looking at the ground. "I'm always here if you need to talk about anything." Diana remarks as she looks back at me, a genuinely caring look in her eyes.
"Thank you." I say before getting up, my mind racing a little.
I haven't even told Ashley or Aelin about all my life problems... Why would I tell an almost complete stranger?
"Hey, don't worry about it." Diana says, she sends me a small smile before walking back over to my window. "I'll see you tomorrow?" She asks, I just nod awkwardly, before waving her goodbye as she climbs out my window.
I bite my lower lip, debating on whether or not I should call Ashley to bring me something to relieve myself from all this stress and anxiety.
*Tap Tap Tap*
I smile expecting to see Diana again. Ashley, what a surprise. My smile quickly vanishes.
As I reopen the window, Ashley climbs through, folding her arms as she stands up.
"Have a fun night last night?" She asks, oddly sounding like my mother.
"Yup, had a horrible morning though." I say, sitting back on my bed, Ashley squints her eyes, looking me up and down.
"You've been gone for weeks, the first day you came back you and Aelin fucked, then you left again! I'm worried about you." Ashley says, a worried look in her eyes.
"You don't have to worry about me Ash, I'm fine." I say, trying to sound as fine as possible.
"People who say they're fine, are usually not fine. I mean, I just started talking to this therapist and he's really helping me. Maybe you should get one." Ashley says, looking at the ground.
"Ashley I don't need a fucking therapist. I'm not some broken girl that needs fucking fixing Ashley, I'm not you and I'm not Aelin." I snap, all of the emotions of the day just turning into one. Anger.
"I wasn't saying you are broken, Emma, I'm just saying it'll help with your mental state. It's better to tell someone that you don't know about your problems rather than keep them all bottled up inside you." Ashley retorts, sounding rather logical for once.
"I'm dealing with my problems the best way that I can. I can't afford a therapist, not that I would ever get one." I say, now standing up.
"By dealing with it the best way that you can, you mean, fucking Aelin one day and than some random blonde the next. Or is that someone who you've been talking to for a while now? What else are you keeping from us, Emma?" Ashley asks, taking a step towards me, worry leaving her eyes as fury replaces it.
"Diana is a friend, she was just making sure I was ok after blacking out yesterday." I say, looking down at the ground, regretting saying that last part, now chewing on the inside of my cheek.
"Blackout?!" Ashley yells. "What is happening to you Emma?! You're drinking and not in a fun way, You're sleeping around, pushing us away, you have new friends? You've changed so much." Her words hit me in the chest like a sword.
Ya maybe I have changed but not because I wanted to. Because I had to, to survive. My world was over without you guys! And you both just left. I was forced to change! So stop pointing all the blame on me like I'm the only one in the wrong!
That's what I wanted to say but didn't. I stared at the ground in silence, unable to speak or move.
"Look Em, I get that it's hard, but what I don't get is why you keep saying you love Aelin and you have sex and then have another girl in your bedroom the next day!" Ashley says, throwing her hands in the air..
"She broke up with me! Then came on to ME! And frankly it's none of your damn business who I hang out with. Just get out of my damn room!" I yell pointing to my window. She just looks at me and then storms out the window.
I drop onto my bed and scream into my pillow. Why didn't I just go with my dad? Why is this my life?