Homestar Saga

By DestroyatronMk8

1.6K 336 3

The pixens are a people without a planet. Forced to live as refugees, they eke out a living as adult entertai... More

Chapter 1: The Only Thing Worse Than a Human
Chapter 2: Madlad Mims
Chapter 3: Battle for the Big Mama
Chapter 4: Public Relations
Chapter 5: Tact and Diplomacy
Chapter 6: Crime, Commerce, and Cake
Chapter 7: Girl Talk
Chapter 8: Incursion
Chapter 9: Reinforcements
Chapter 10: Charge of the Gunzerker
Chapter 11: Suicide Run
Chapter 12: Kamikaze
Chapter 13: Everything New is Old Again
Chapter 14: Jumpdrive
Chapter 15: The Darkening
Chapter 16: Neutral Species
Chapter 17: Take Me To Your Leader
Chapter 18: Dubious Employer
Chapter 19: Analog
Chapter 20: Derelict
Chapter 21: Move Fast and Break Stuff
Chapter 22: Pressing Concerns
Chapter 23: Agent of the Xill
Chapter 24: Outcasts
Chapter 25: Hunters of the Void
Chapter 26: Bigger Guns
Chapter 27: Bigger Guns
Chapter 28: Boarding Party
Chapter 29: Scargiver
Chapter 30: Agent of Terra
Chapter 31: Secrets
Chapter 32: Code Galactica
Chapter 33: Galactica Protocol
Chapter 34: Debrief
Chapter 35: Aldara Remembers
Chapter 36: Space Captain
Chapter 37: Recompense
Chapter 38: Panic Attack
Chapter 39: There Are No More Akindi
Chapter 40: Mimsey Get Your Guns
Chapter 41: The Price of Fame
Chapter 42: Mommy Issues
Chapter 43: The Tallest
Chapter 44: The Art of Intimidation
Chapter 45: Mobs and Monsters
Chapter 46: Public Transport
Chapter 47: The Hall of Masters
Chapter 48: To Krog or Not to Krog
Chapter 49: Technically the Truth
Chapter 50: Almost Perfect
Interlude 1: Prey Animals
Chapter 51: Distress Call
Chapter 52: Literally Pirates
Chapter 53: Civilians
Chapter 54: Shoulda Woulda Coulda
Chapter 55: Conversations With Cat People
Chapter 56: Already Dead
Chapter 57: A Force For Good
Chapter 58: The Big Dirty
Chapter 59: No Cake For You
Chapter 60: Don't Get Caught
Chapter 61: Tortuga
Chapter 62: Out of Beer
Chapter 63: War Games
Chapter 64: Hostage
Chapter 65: Starlost
Chapter 66: Dark Matter
Chapter 67: Boundaries
Chapter 68: Abomination
Chapter 69: Trial of the Pixens
Chapter 70: Accidents and Stupid Ideas
Chapter 71: Time to Rock and Roll
Chapter 72: Symphony of Destruction
Chapter 73: The Fall of the Random Encounter
Chapter 74: False Alarm
Chapter 75: Fight or Flight
Chapter 76: Deux Ex Machina
Chapter 77: The Long Con
Chapter 78: Born in Blood
Chapter 79: The Crystal City
Chapter 80: Only I Remain
Chapter 81: The Peacekeeper
Chapter 82: Collective Bargaining
Chapter 83: The Pixen Technocracy
Chapter 84: City 43
Chapter 85: The Longest Night
Chapter 86: Saving the City
Chapter 87: Non-Standard
Chapter 88: Robot Army
Chapter 89: Reba
Chapter 90: The Homestar
Chapter 91: Agents of Pixa
Chapter 92: Head Pixen In Charge
Chapter 93: Messenger Duty
Chapter 94: The Pixen Stellar Defense Force
Chapter 95: No Mercy For Slavers
Chapter 96: Wheel Theory
Chapter 97: Stingers
Chapter 98: Trust
Chapter 99: Side Trip
Chapter 100: Crystal Communion
Chapter 101: Out of Range
Chapter 102: Klaath Queens
Chapter 103: Infection
Chapter 104: Ace in the Hole
Chapter 105: Last Resort
Chapter 106: A Nice Surprise
Chapter 107: Playing Dress-up
Chapter 108: Trade Deal
Chapter 109: Shindig
Chapter 110: Tactical Necessity
Chapter 111: New Guy
Chapter 112: First Lesson
Chapter 113: Cunning and Brave
Chapter 114: Game Plan
Chapter 115: Infowars
Chapter 116: Counterintelligence
Chapter 117: Rescue
Chapter 118: Monster on Board
Chapter 119: Varma Award
Chapter 120: They Know
Chapter 121: Failure
Chapter 122: The Fall of Brilend Prime
Chapter 123: The Fifth Law of Power
Chapter 124: Running
Chapter 125: The Enterprise
Chapter 126: Invasion
Chapter 127: Fools Flailing in the Dark
Chapter 128: Annihilation Retrieval
Chapter 129: The Last Hope
Chapter 130: Still Standing
Chapter 131: Harbinger
Chapter 132: Costly Declaration
Chapter 133: Already Losing
Chapter 134: Pretending to be Professionals
Chapter 135: Operation BACKLINE
Chapter 136: Coffee
Chapter 137: Meeting of the Minds
Chapter 138: Wake Up Call
Chapter 139: The Silence of the Xill
Chapter 140: The Other Shoe
Chapter 141: Publicity Stunt
Chapter 142: More Expendable
Chapter 143: Soul Gaze
Chapter 144: Motivational Speaker Mims
Chapter 145: Doomsday Clock
Chapter 146: Insufficient
Chapter 147: One Shot
Chapter 148: Pursuit
Chapter 150: Wrath of the Skygem
Chapter 151: Jewel of the Sky
Chapter 152: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 153: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 154: Rules of Engagement
Chapter 155: Assault on Aldara
Chapter 156: Smart Humans and Stupid AI
Chapter 157: Way of the Starfang
Chapter 158: Shell Game
Chapter 159: Tactically Unsound
Chapter 160: Monster In Paradise
Chapter 161: Gunboat Diplomacy
Chapter 162: The Privilege Of The Strong
Chapter 163: Motherless Sons
Chapter 164: Defector
Chapter 165: Spite and Spycraft
Chapter 166: Love and Loss
Chapter 167: The Return of the Klaath
Chapter 168: Connor Protocol
Chapter 169: Frame-Up

Chapter 149: Eight on One

8 2 0
By DestroyatronMk8

Yvian didn't bother to curse. She couldn't spare the time. Eight humans. Five rounds. With AIMASSIST she could have taken them. Without it...

She wasn't the only one with problems. Fifteen Queenships were entering the sector, each guarded by thousands of Peacekeeper Stinger units. All helpless. Frozen in the anti-tech field. A few hundred gladiators with pixen pilots were scattered among each of the Queens. Should she warn them?

A transmission would give away her location. The moment she keyed radio, one of Reba's ships could cut her in half with a beam weapon. The bitch wanted a Lucendian implant. She needed Yvian alive. Probably. Mims and Lissa had implants, too. Reba only had to capture one of them. Killing Yvian to spite the human was exactly the sort of short-sighted petty gribshit the Synthetic Intelligence might pull.

More importantly, the warning wouldn't do much good. YEET Artillery Barges would already be opening fire. In a few minutes, the Queens would be debris, and there was nothing Yvian or any of the Academy pilots could do about it. Yvian's warning wouldn't save a single soul.

The fleet's only hope was to take out the Techjammer. Yvian couldn't help them with that. The damned thing could be floating anywhere within a three thousand kilometer radius. Even if Yvian managed to spot it, a round from her Bigger Better would take nearly ten minutes to reach the target. Far too late. Not that it mattered. Yvian wasn't good enough to hit a target at that range. No one was.

"The anti-tech ship's past the Gate!" Lissa's voice crackled over the radio. "They've got beam weapons! You'll hav- AAUGH!"

Lissa? Oh Crunch. Or Bright Lady...

"So Lissa was alive too." Commandant Barillas quipped. "Huh. Pretty ballsy giving away her location like that."

Yvian could see it in her mind's eye. A beam of light, cutting her sister in half.

"Doesn't sound like it worked out for her," the pirate continued.

Lissa? No. She couldn't. She wasn't...

"Then again, I guess we only need one of you alive."

The scream came out of Yvian like a punch. Rage and anguish and fear and despair ripped their way out of her, a sound she hadn't known a pixen could make. Her voidarmor vibrated with the fury of it. Tears floated out from her eyes. Yvian blinked, shaking her head to dislodge them, still screaming.

"Kill you! I'll kill you! I'll fucking-" A terrible need welled up within Yvian. A need to rip and tear. Yvian's soul screamed for blood. Her stream of profanity continued as she turned to face the humans. They were almost on her. The closest was within twenty meters. He'd drawn some sort of pistol. A wicked looking thing with a long thick barrel. He wasn't going to get to use it.

Yvian keyed her jetpack, charging straight at the motherless sons. Technically, she wasn't moving toward them. Her new vector was just cutting down on her inertia and slowing her down. Either way, she shot past the leader, angling down and to the right, barely avoiding a collision with a second human as she passed.

Yvian brought up the Bigger Better BFG. She didn't bother with the scope. Fury and focus narrowed everything down, until all she could see were the two humans. She squeezed the trigger at the exact moment they were lined up with her barrel. She roared her triumph as the XTRO Agents exploded.

"Kill you all! All of you!" Six humans. Four rounds. They were reacting. Faster than last time. Yvian tried, but she couldn't get two of them lined up again. The motherless sons shrank in her vision. Yvian changed directions again, strafing to the side. The humans fanned out, approaching quickly from multiple angles.

It would be better to get one more pair with a single shot, but Yvian didn't think she'd get the chance. She felt a thud in her shoulder. Another against her chest. They were shooting her. Yvian changed her strafe, bringing her gun up. The human dodged. Instead of trying to track him, she whipped her barrel to the side and snapped a shot at the woman to his left. In her haste she jerked the trigger instead of squeezing. The MAC round took the human's arm instead of blowing through her torso.

More thuds. Two of them hit Yvian's fedora. Yvian didn't know what kind of weapons the humans were using. Probably some kind of knock out device. Whatever they were, they were no match for Yvian's Peacekeeper tuxedo. Yvian ignored the thuds and lined up her next shot. Something smacked the Bigger Better just before she squeezed the trigger.

The Bigger Better jumped in Yvian's hands. The shot went wide. She glared down at the weapon. A small black disk was stuck to the barrel. Hmm... Yvian dodged to the right, bringing the weapon back up. She pretended to squeeze the trigger, then glared at the weapon again. She slapped the bigger better, simulating what the Captain referred to as "percussive maintenance."

The humans didn't take the bait. They kept their distance, firing more of those little black disks. More than a dozen of the things were stuck to Yvian already. Her Peacekeeper suit covered everything but her hands, neck, and part of her helmet, but it was only a matter of time before they managed to hit the voidarmor itself. With a frustrated growl, Yvian stopped pretending the Bigger Better didn't work. She splattered another human. Four humans. Two rounds.

The next few seconds were an exercise in frustration. The remaining humans were changing directions too fast for Yvian to get a clear shot. Yvian wasn't making it easy on them, either, but the motherless sons didn't have to worry about ammo. She took more hits. Finally she caught one of them just as he finished changing direction. Three humans. One round left.

Three bolts of green light struck Yvian's gun. One of the humans had ditched his disk gun in favor of a plasma assault rifle. The Bigger Better BFG was built tough, but the coating that protected it from sensors and little black disks was no match for a weapon designed to pierce voidarmor. The gun fell apart in Yvian's hands. The humans moved in.

Yvian let out a war cry, barreling towards the lead human. The agent dodged, but Yvian was able to compensate just enough to clamp a hand around the other woman's arm. The human switched directions, trying to shake the pixen loose. Yvian held on, wrapping her legs around the woman's torso.

The human shot Yvian, but the disk stuck to her fedora. Yvian got a hand on the human's pistol, jerking it to the side. The gun fired, hitting the other agent that had swooped in to help. He spasmed as he flew past.

Yvian twisted the gun in the woman's hand and chopped down with her other arm. The strike was half assed, but it worked. The gun came free. Yvian tried to shoot the other human. She missed, but the gun worked. Maybe the guns weren't DNA locked, or maybe DNA locks wouldn't work in an anti-tech field. Didn't matter. Yvian had a weapon again.

Yvian didn't want to risk shooting the woman. Not while she was holding on to her, at least. Yvian tucked the gun into her Peacekeeper jacket and grabbed the human's head with both hands. She wanted to break the woman's neck, but she didn't think she had the leverage. Instead, she got her thumbs on the release button on either side helmet. The woman grabbed Yvian's wrists, but she was too late. Yvian pulled the helmet off and kicked the human away.

The move cost her. The remaining human shot Yvian in the face. The pixen had a confused moment to stare at the black disk attached to her visor. Then it discharged. Electricity or something like it wracked Yvian's body. She let out a cry as her muscles seized up.

Then it was over. The thing had shocked her for just over two seconds. It hadn't been that bad of a shock, really. Yvian didn't waste time questioning her luck. She pulled her pistol out and emptied the rest of it at the remaining human. She hit him. She saw him spasm.

Yvian keyed her jetpack. Nothing happened. Oh, Crunch. Now she knew what the little black disks did. The shock she'd felt was residual, a side effect of the energy discharged into her voidarmor. The motherless sons had fried her systems. No radio. No jetpack. She was adrift.

Yvian sighed as she watched the helmetless human die. The other two were still alive, drifting out of her reach. Yvian sighed. Two humans. Zero rounds. Well. Technically there was one shot left, but she didn't have a way to fire it. The remains of the Bigger Better BFG were still tethered to her, but Yvian didn't feel like reeling it in.

Green light scythed past Yvian's visor. Plasma? It was one of the agents. Maybe he had orders, or maybe he was just mad that Yvian killed his unit. Either way, he had an assault rifle and he wasn't afraid to use it. Yvian couldn't dodge. Couldn't shoot back. She did the only thing she could. She raised her arms to cover her face and hoped like Crunch the Peacekeeper suit would hold.

Impacts slapped her legs and torso. Plasma weapons did most of their damage through heat. Ionized matter wasn't as dense as a bullet, but it was still matter moving fast. The green flashes of light cut off a second later, obscured by a stream of brilliant white. A beam weapon. Yvian lowered her arms and saw the human's head was missing.

Reba. The SI had saved her. Crunch take it. That bitch really did want Yvian alive. Yvian sobbed. She knew she should be getting ahold of herself. She already had enough blobs of water floating around in her helmet. She should be planning, trying to figure a way out of all this. She couldn't. She had nothing left.

Lissa was dead. The mission had failed. Yvian was alone and hurt and helpless. More humans would come, and there was nothing she could do.

They wouldn't take her alive, she decided. She reached up, placing a thumb on the release catch to either side of her helmet. She wouldn't do it now. But soon. The moment she saw the next batch of agents.

"I'm sorry, Sis," Yvian choked. "Mims. I'm so sorry..."

Movement caught Yvian's eye. Something was coming. Something big. Something fast. Something...shiny? Yvian wiggled in the void, trying to turn herself for a better look. It was a ship. A gladiator, maybe? Did one of the other pixens see her?

It didn't seem likely. Reba's back up fleet was still out there. A pixen ship would be getting blown out of the sky right now. Couldn't be Xill, either. The anti-tech field would shut them down just like it had the Peacekeepers. Yvian kept her hands on the helmet release. Just in case.

A surge of emotions slammed into Yvian as the ship approached. Fear. Determination. Fury. Hope. The feelings weren't hers. Yvian gasped. It couldn't be.

The ship wasn't a gladiator. It wasn't a Xill. A hull of gleaming crystal refracted the light of the Gate.

The Skygem had come.

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