seventeen. holding onto the ghost of you
This had to be some kind of trick or magic. Because Lexi was definitely very dead. Whatever this was, you knew it was not good news. You sped at the apparition but it disappeared as quickly as it had come and you fell to the floor, alone in the room.
"Lexi?" you said softly, looking around the room. But there was no response, nothing but the deafening silence. Had you imagined her there? She had seemed so real, and yet...there was nothing.
You heard Damon scream downstairs, breaking the silence. You sped down to see what was going on, but your eyes widened as you saw Stefan walking out of the parlor, a smirk on his face.
"Stefan? How did you..." you started. How had he gotten out? You'd made sure the cellar was locked.
He smirked at you. "Guess you didn't lock me up tight enough. The door just swung right open."
You glared at him. "I won't make that mistake again." You got ready to jump him again. Even if he wasn't weakened by Elena's stakes this time, you were still stronger than him.
But then Damon screamed again and Stefan smirked. "Who's it gonna be? Save my brother or stop me? You might want to hurry. He doesn't sound like he has long."
You groaned and sped into the room, leaving Stefan behind you. Damon was chained to a chair with a rod through his chest, and the curtains were open, the light falling directly onto him. He was burning. You sped over to him and pulled him out of the sunlight.
"Where's your ring?" you asked, looking around. You saw it tossed away on the ground and grabbed it, putting it on for him.
"Took you long enough," he gasped in pain.
You rolled your eyes as you broke the chains. "You're welcome. Did Stefan do this?"
"He says he didn't but I didn't see anyone else," Damon said as he sped to the curtains to close them again now that he was free. "How the hell did he get out?"
"He says the door opened by itself," you looked around the room. You could have sworn you'd seen Lexi, though she was nowhere to be found now. But Lexi would never have opened Stefan's cellar door.
"Maybe it's your psycho ex back in town?" he asked.
"No," you said. "He's in the Rockies."
"You knew that way too quickly," he shook his head. "Barbie Klaus?"
"Damon, I saw Lexi," you said, as if he could validate you weren't going crazy. Because if it had been Lexi, if she had somehow broken out from The Other Side, what if someone had broken out with her?
"That's not possible, I killed her, remember?" he rolled his eyes.
"And yet, she was in my room just now," you said. "It's gotta be something witchy, Damon. Think about it. Lexi, Stefan's cell door, you being chained up and almost burnt to a crisp?"
"You think Lexi is doing this? Some kind of revenge for killing her?" He asked warily, looking around the room.
"I don't know," you said. "She wouldn't open Stefan's cell door though. But even if she was here, she's dead. She's a ghost, and ghosts can't actually interact with things in this plane."
Damon looked at the bloody rod on the ground with a pensive look on his face. "Unless they can suddenly. Because my assassination attempt reminds me of how I killed the werewolf."
"What werewolf?"
Damon looked around the room. "Mason Lockwood. Come out, come out, wherever you are Mason."
"Lockwood?" You asked.
"Tyler's uncle," he said.
Suddenly, a thought came to you and your eyes widened as you grabbed his arm. "Damon, if Lexi and Mason are back, people you killed, and they can move things on this plane now...how many people have you pissed off and killed over the years that may be looking for similar revenge?"
"Yeah, the thought crossed my mind too," he said. "I'm gonna go find Bonnie, get her to fix whatever she messed up."
"How do you know it was her?"
"Do you know any other witches in town? Because I don't," he said.
"She did bring Jeremy back from the dead," you said thoughtfully. "Maybe this is the price? Magic always comes at a cost."
"Great, so I'll get her to ask for a refund," he said, walking to the door before stopping and looking at you. "We don't know if it's just my victims, Y/N. You've been alive a lot longer than I have which means a lot more bodies...be careful."
You nodded as he walked out. Suddenly you were wishing you'd taken Klaus up on that offer to visit The Rockies.
• • •
You were hyper vigilant as you walked into the living room. Damon was right. You'd killed a lot of people too in your thousand years on this planet. You didn't know if it was only Damon's victims who were out for revenge. Your phone rang and you picked it up without looking. "Hello?"
"I can't believe you actually answered, love," Klaus said.
"I didn't see it was you," you said.
"Ouch," he breathed out. "No matter, it's good to hear your voice."
You sighed. "What do you want, Klaus?"
"In this moment or for the rest of my life? Because the answer to both is the same," he said. "And if you were to take a little trip to the Rockies, I could have it."
"Not happening," you said.
"Not yet," he corrected, as if he were sure he could win you back eventually. "But that's not why I'm calling this time, I'm afraid."
"Then?"
"I just spoke to Rebekah," he said.
"Ah. She told on me, I'm guessing?" you said as you fell back on the couch.
"You know Rebekah, she can be very emotional," he said. "She's upset because she thinks you're mad at her. She thinks I can persuade you to reconsider?"
"That's because I am," you said. "She broke my neck and questioned my integrity. Now she ran to the teacher because I'm not talking to her?"
"Am I the teacher?" you could hear his smirk. "I think I would very much enjoy this fantasy. Perhaps next time I come back to Mystic Falls, I'll bring a school girl uniform."
You rolled your eyes, though you felt the heat in your cheeks at the image he drew in your mind. It had been so long since you'd been with someone. The last man you'd let touch you was Klaus back in New Orleans. And you really and truly missed it, feeling his lips against yours, his weight on you. But you refused to give in.
"I don't think you could pull that kind of uniform off," you said flippantly.
He chuckled. "I do miss your fire, Y/N. No one could handle me quite like you. Do you remember when Kol and I drank our way through that little village in France? You twisted my ear almost clean off. Hm, perhaps you would be better in the role of teacher. I think I'd enjoy that fantasy too."
You closed your eyes. You missed him too. But it didn't matter. You couldn't go there again, no matter how much he tempted you, or reminded you of the past. "Don't do that," you said quietly.
"What?" he asked innocently.
"You know what," you said. You sighed, closing your eyes. "Tell Rebekah you failed to persuade me. Goodbye, Nik."
You were about to hang up when you heard him take a sharp breath. "Nik," he repeated.
"What?"
"It's been a while since you've called me that without trying to play at my feelings for you," he said softly and you tensed, opening your eyes abruptly. You hadn't even realized the word left your mouth, but he was right. You'd called him Klaus or Niklaus since you'd met him again, and only used Nik to use it against him or to try to convince him to stop hurting your friends. Why had it come out now? You didn't want to know, truthfully.
When you kept your silence, you heard him chuckle softly. "I won't push my luck tonight," he said. "Farewell, love."
You hung up and sighed. "What is wrong with me?" you groaned. You needed to make sure you didn't pick up his calls again. It was too dangerous.
You stood up when suddenly, your head started to feel like it was exploding. You fell to your knees, clutching your head. Pain spread through you, feeling as if a thousand needles were sticking you. You hadn't felt anything like this since Gloria broke your compulsion.
You looked up, almost expecting to see Gloria standing there, but your eyes narrowed when you saw it was that witch, Greta. Klaus' witch.
"So," she smirked. "Where were we?"
You gasped as the pain intensified before the darkness took you.
• • •
When you regained consciousness, you were tied to a chair. You struggled with the chains around your wrists. Greta was leaning against a table, watching you with a smirk.
"Good, you're awake," she said. "I thought my fun was over."
You rolled your eyes. You did not have time for this. "Greta. Aren't you supposed to be dead? What? Did you miss me?"
"Oh this wasn't me," she said. "I'm just along for the ride."
You raised an eyebrow at that. So others had escaped the Other Side. Which meant it could have been Lexi you'd seen, and Mason who stabbed Damon. "Are you the one that let Stefan out of his cell?"
She smirked at you, confirming your suspicion. "Why? What do you gain from a Ripper running around Mystic Falls?"
"Me? Nothing," she shrugged. "Klaus, however. I don't think he'd like his pet being neutered just yet."
You rolled your eyes at her. "So you're doing this for Klaus?"
"Oh no, this," she gestured at you. "This is all for me."
"Right," you said. "Is that supposed to scare me?"
"I haven't gotten to the scary part yet," Greta smirked before stepping back and raising her hand to you again. You screamed out in pain as your head exploded again. "You think you deserve him? You think you're worthy of him? You're nothing, Y/N! If you hadn't come back, he would have been mine!"
Even through the pain, you understood her words. You understood her wrath. You started laughing. "Is that what this is about? You're still jealous your boyfriend loves me and not you?"
She glared at you. "How much will he love you when you're dead?"
You clenched your fists as the pain intensified. But still you smirked at her, refusing to give her the satisfaction she wanted. "He will probably mourn me for a while," you breathed out. "But that's still more than he did for you. I was with him all summer. He didn't mention your name once. Though he was a bit busy trying to win me back so."
The witch gritted her teeth in anger for a moment before a smirk came to her lips. "Funny, he was with me before we came to Mystic Falls. It must have been years, and he never mentioned you either. He was a bit busy fucking me seven ways to Sunday so."
Anger flashed in your eyes as you felt the crushing in your chest. It was so loud, your heart breaking, you thought. She must have heard it. You had had a feeling Klaus had been with her, but to hear it was another thing. To suspect he had been unfaithful in those years you'd been apart, and to know...you would have been happier never knowing.
She seemed to realize she hit a nerve because she finally lowered her hand, the pain in your head stopping. She had found your breaking point, and it wasn't her physical torture.
"Does that hurt you to know?" she asked. "To know that his hands were all over my body, that I know what his lips taste like?"
"Why should I care?" You lied. "I don't want him. I don't care if you have my leftovers."
She laughed. "I don't think that's true. Because see, he may not have mentioned you, but I heard about you from others. 900 years and he just threw you away." She crouched down to level her face with yours. "Does it hurt to know you were nothing special after all?"
You glared at her before spitting in her face. "I'm going to kill you again, you know that, right?"
You didn't want to hear this anymore. You couldn't. Even when you had lost your memories, you had subconsciously stayed faithful to him. But even with you in his mind, he didn't. He hadn't cared. She was right. 900 years he just threw away. For what? For a few moments of pleasure with this witch? With how many had he broken your heart?
"Honey, I'm already dead," she smirked as she wiped the spit off her face. "But don't worry, you'll join me soon enough."
She raised her hand again and you screamed out as the pain came back tenfold. You were going to die. Your heart was broken and soon, your mind would be too. Klaus' actions just kept coming back to haunt you. You didn't want to die. You wanted to get out of here so you could beat Klaus to death. You wanted to help Stefan find his humanity and get your idiot friend Damon out of this whole debacle alive. Hell, you wanted to see him happy with Elena and finally getting the ending he deserved. You wanted to see Kol and Elijah and even Finn again. You wanted to make up with Rebekah. But it didn't seem like you were going to get the chance to.
Suddenly, the pain stopped and Greta was on the floor, her neck snapped.
"Does this witch really think she was worthy of my brother?" Rebekah stood over her, glaring down at the body.
You breathed out in relief. "Took you long enough," you said.
She rolled her eyes as she broke your chains easily. "You're as bad as Niklaus, Y/N," she said. "A simple thank you would suffice."
"Thank you," you said, standing up and hugging her tightly.
She didn't hesitate as she hugged you back. "Does this mean we're friends again?"
"No," you pulled back and looked at her. "We're not friends, Rebekah."
"Need I remind you, I just saved your life, Y/N," she complained. "The least you could do is forgive me."
"I do forgive you," you said, putting your hand on her arm. "We're not friends, Rebekah. We're sisters."
It wasn't her fault, not really. Rebekah had had it harder than you all these years. After her mother was killed, and with her father chasing after them, she was broken. You all were in a way. For 900 years, you had Niklaus at least. You weren't alone. Rebekah didn't have anyone but her brothers. Any chance of love she sought, Klaus ended it for her. And yet, she still sought his approval. She still wanted to just belong somewhere. You could see why she had seen your standing against them as a betrayal.
She rolled her eyes. "Well, you could have led with that."
You laughed. "I missed you all these years, Bekah."
"You finally realized I'm the best Mikaelson?" she smirked.
Your phone beeped and you looked at it. It was a message from Elena. Have you heard about the ghosts? Lexi is back, and she found Stefan. Meet up at the old city jail. Hurry.
Good, now you could fix that brooding hairdo and skip this town. Now that you knew of Klaus' transgressions, you were even less inclined to stay.
• • •
You walked into the jail cell and saw Stefan chained to the chair. Lexi was standing over him, smirking as Elena watching curiously. "Well, look what the cat dragged in," Lexi smirked at you.
"Lexi," you smiled. "You know, Death looks good on you."
"It does wonders for the complexion," she said before hugging you. You hugged her back tightly, glad to see her. Lexi had been a friend to you when you didn't even know how much you needed one.
"Hey," Elena said when you pulled apart. "Where were you?"
"I had my own ghost issues," you said, not elaborating. "What's going on here?"
"You're just in time, Y/N," Lexi said, not turning. "I'm about to give Elena a crash course in Ripper detox. Your boyfriend really did a number on him, huh?"
"He's not my boyfriend," you said.
"That was a pretty interesting voicemail for a not boyfriend," Lexi said. You tensed. You didn't want to be reminded of him right now. You didn't want to be reminded of how your heart had been softening just slightly for the man who did nothing but hurt you. Lexi raised an eyebrow at your frigid silence.
"Klaus compelled him to turn off his humanity," Elena told Lexi, bring you both back to task.
"Well, we're just going to have to convince him to turn it back on. I have to warn you, it's not going to be pretty," Lexi said, turning back to Stefan. You knew she'd done this many times in the past.
"I can handle it," Elena said.
Lexi kicked Stefan. "Wake up, sleepyhead." He opened his eyes slowly, looking around. "How you feeling?"
He struggled in his chains, looking around the cell. "What is this? Let me out of here!"
Lexi put your finger to her lip. "Shh. Inside voices, please. I'm trying to get inside your head."
"Elena. Get rid of her, please," Stefan said.
"No," Elena said.
"First step is drying him out," Lexi said. "Starve away the blood lust. Strip away the temptation."
Stefan began sweating, trying to keep her out. "This isn't going to work, Lexi. You can't do this."
"You heard the not pretty part?" you asked her quietly. Because you knew what was coming. Lexi had told you about this in the past. You knew what she had to do, and you knew how he was going to react.
"Yeah," Elena said.
"Just brace yourself," you told her. She looked at you in question but you didn't answer.
"What are you doing?" Stefan asked Lexi. He started breathing heavily, looking down at his hands. "What are you doing, Lexi?"
"Doing what I do best, sweetness. I'm saving your life," she smirked.
"Y/N," Stefan looked over at you. "You're not really gonna let her do this, are you? We were together all summer. Please, you know me."
"I do know you, Stefan," you said. "So tell me. Are you hungry?"
"I'm starving," he gasped out. "I'm starving. I'm starving! Let me out! Let me out. Please let me out."
"What's happening?" Elena asked, scared.
"He's hallucinating. That's three months without any blood," Lexi said.
"Let me out!" Stefan yelled.
"Now he's at nine months," Lexi said. Stefan was sweating heavily now, panting as his hunger grew. "Two years...five."
"Did I ever tell you how glad I am that you're dead?" Stefan glared at her.
"Aw," Lexi smirked at him. "I missed you too, friend."
Elena's phone rang and she stepped out. Lexi looked over at you. "Think the look at her future is gonna scare her?"
"She's stronger than she looks," you said.
Elena walked back in and Stefan was still gasping in pain. "Elena, Elena, I'm hurting," he pleaded. "Please help me."
"Don't listen," Lexi told her. "Shut him out."
"I am helping you, Stefan," Elena said sadly.
"I'll do anything. I'll change. I promise," Stefan said.
"It's a lie. He'll say anything right now," Lexi told her.
"Elena, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry. Just make it stop. Please, just make it stop."
You could see Elena struggling with this, with separating the man she loved from the monster hidden in front of her. "Separate your emotions, Elena," you said. "That's not him right now."
"Hey, hey don't listen to her," Stefan said. "She loves Klaus. You know you can't trust her. Look at me, Elena. Look at me." She looked at him. "I love you, okay? I love you so much. I love you so much, Elena."
"I'm sorry, Stefan," she said. "I just don't believe you."
His face entirely changed. "You know what? I don't want your help, anyway. I wish I'd never met you. Every single moment that I've spent with you has been a complete and total waste."
"You see that?" Lexi looked at her. "That's the ripper talking. Once he's weak enough, you have to cause him pain. Make him feel things. Anger, rage, anything. You have to make him see past the blood."
She drove a stake into his stomach and Stefan grunted out in pain.
"Think of it as a regimen. Day in and day out. Like running the treadmill. Like making coffee. Until he's ready to be saved," she said.
"I will rip you apart, Lexi!" Stefan screamed.
"You can't," she smirked. "I'm already dead." She drove the stake in again.
Elena closed her eyes, stepping back. "I—I can't."
She walked out of the room.
You and Lexi exchanged a look. "She loves him," Lexi said softly. "I know this is hard."
"She's human," you reminded her. "Separating emotions isn't as easy for them."
"It's not exactly easy for us either," she said. "Not unless we flip the switch. Regardless of what we pretend."
You heard the underlying message in her words. "I thought you were here to help Stefan, not psychoanalyze me."
She stuck him again with the stake and smirked at you. "I can multitask. Come on, Y/N. I haven't spent all of my time just watching him. You're my friend too."
"That's really creepy, did anyone tell you that?" You rolled her eyes.
She laughed. "Well, I like to fix broken toys, remember?"
"Lexi! I will find a way to raise you from the dead just to kill you again," Stefan promised as she staked him again.
"That's good, Stefan," she said. "It's good to have goals."
He cried out again when she staked him again, this time in the leg. "Y/N! Y/N, please! You know me. You know I don't want to do this. It's because of him. Klaus did this to me. It's not my fault. Please, I've already lost everything because of him! You know what it's like. He did it to you too."
You walked over to him, and put your hand on his cheek. "You're right, Stefan. This isn't your fault. Klaus ruined you, just like he ruined me. But that's why I'm going to help you." You took the stake from Lexi and stabbed him in the other leg.
He screamed out, his face changing again. "You think this is helping me?" he spat at you. "What do you know? You'll be back to fucking Klaus soon enough."
You glared at him before reaching forward and snapping his neck. Lexi gave you a deadpanned look and you shrugged. "I'm sure he felt that," you said.
She shook her head with a smile. She regarded you for a second. "You know, before you showed up, Elena told me you got your memories back in '91," she said. "That must have been the catalyst to Chicago, huh? You never told me."
You sighed and looked at her. "Don't do that," you said.
"What?"
"I'm not a broken toy that needs to be fixed anymore, Lexi," you said.
"Oh my sweet, sweet buttercup," she smiled at you. "You're just as lost as you were the first time I met you at that Beatles concert."
"I'm not," you said. "I know who I am now. I've seen my family again. And Klaus...I'm still better off without him."
"Are you?" she asked, no sarcasm or maliciousness in her tone. Only curiosity.
"All these years we've known each other, you've tried to hook me up with what? 50, 60 different people?" you asked.
"Give or take a few dozen," she said.
"And I never took you up on it," you said. "Because I think even subconsciously I knew, my heart belonged to him." You looked at her sadly. "He remembered me all these years. He didn't forget the way he compelled me too. But he was not faithful the way I was."
She looked at you for a moment before she started laughing. You glared at her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said. "Y/N, from what I've been able to gather, he sent you away expecting to never see you again. So he had a few hook ups along the way. News flash, you were essentially broken up. You just didn't know it the way he did."
You supposed you hadn't thought of it that way. But still, the wound was deep in your heart. "We were broken up because he compelled me to forget him and sent me away," you said. "And whose side are you on? Why are you trying to convince me to forgive him?"
"I'm not," she put her hands up defensively. "I'm on your side. Always. But Y/N, do you know why I was so adamant to be your friend in the 70s?"
"Because you like to fix broken toys," you said.
"Because you seemed lost," she said. "Like you were missing something, a part of you. And now that I know your history, I think maybe it's him. Don't get me wrong, I hate him for what he's done to Stefan and to you. But I just want you to be happy. And I think you haven't been happy in a really long time. I saw it in New York and I saw it post Chicago. You're still not whole even if you have your memories back."
Stefan began to stir and you both looked at him, ending your conversation immediately. Lexi looked back at you. "I need you to promise me something," she said.
"What?"
"Stefan is going to struggle with this once we turn it back on," she said. "He's going to struggle over the things he did and the things he said. Can you help him?"
You sighed. "Lex, I'm leaving as soon as we make him turn it back on. I can't stay here, not when I know what's coming. They woke someone...someone who terrifies me. I need to get out of here."
"Yeah I guess I figured you would," she said. "It's just...he's my best friend. And I can't be here for him anymore, but I have to watch him like this without being able to do anything about it. And Elena...she loves him. But she hasn't lived in the dark like you, like Stefan. I worry it's not going to be enough."
Stefan woke up and looked around again. "I've had enough," he growled. "Let me out. Now."
"No thanks," Lexi said, stabbing him again. He screamed and she leaned over him, grabbing the arms of the chair to stare him in the eyes. "Quit fighting me, Stefan. I know you're in there."
"Not anymore, Lexi," he said. Elena walked back in, her eyes wary as she saw Stefan in a worse state.
"You know you say that every time. Until I make you feel again," she said.
"You wasted your whole life taking care of me. Now you're dead and you still have nothing better to do," Stefan said. You saw the subtle way that Lexi tensed at his words. Because she probably did have better things to do than to follow her best friend around, watching him helplessly. And yet...you knew she would never leave him.
"We're running out of time," Elena said.
"You've got to get me more," Lexi told her. "Not until I break through."
"I can't, Lexi," Elena said. "They have the necklace. They're gonna close the door."
Lexi groaned and looked back at Stefan. "The necklace. Okay. That necklace. At least tell me you remember how you felt about that. You found it during your darkest time. And you said, when you made it through, that that necklace represented hope."
"Ironic, then, that it's about to be blown to pieces," Stefan said.
Lexi looked at him sadly before turning to Elena. "He's still in there, Elena. You just have to break through."
"It's okay, Lexi," Elena said. "I know what to do now. You can be free."
Lexi smiled at her before meeting your eyes. You saw the silent question in them. Because Elena had seen what had to be done to break through, but she hadn't seen it after. Not like Lexi had, not like you had. You had gone through the same thing yourself, after Chicago. She was right. Elena was the light, she didn't live in the shadows the way you and Stefan did. You remembered how it felt, in Chicago. You remembered the guilt, remembered Damon trying to help you overcome it. Damon lived in the dark too. It hadn't been easy, and a part of you still hadn't forgiven yourself for it. You knew Stefan held the same guilt over his past. He had told you as much over the summer. That was something Elena could sympathize with, but she wouldn't be able to understand. But Lexi did, and she knew you did too. That was why she was asking you to help him.
You nodded at her subtly and she smiled before looking at Stefan one last time and disappearing.
"So what are you going to do, Elena? You just going to stand there? Waiting for me to dry out?" Stefan scoffed.
"No," she said. "I'm going to go home, take care of my brother. Be a friend to Bonnie and everything else that I have to do."
"That's good for you," Stefan said. "You know, I was wondering when you were going to give up. Lexi gave you... enough of a glimpse into your tragic future."
"I haven't given up, Stefan. I still have hope. But there's nothing that I can do until you get yours back," she said, touching his face gently. "Hey. You can break through this. Fight for it. Feel something. Anything, Stefan. Because if you don't, you're going to lose me forever. I won't love a ghost for the rest of my life."
She turned and started to walk out, pausing to look at you. "Do what you have to do," she said before leaving you alone with Stefan.
You crossed your arms and looked at him. "She has spunk, huh?" you said casually.
"What are you still even doing here, Y/N?" he scoffed. "I thought you'd be half way to the middle of nowhere already."
"I think I'm gonna hang around a while actually," you said.
"Why? No one wants you here," he said. "Damon knows you'll try to stop him from killing your boyfriend. He'd be glad if you left. Rebekah was fine without you in Chicago. Klaus definitely was. You should have seen him with this one girl back then. Now, she was beautiful. I can see why he was so infatuated with her." He smirked at you.
You grabbed the stake and stabbed him in his stomach. He grunted in pain. "I was with Klaus for 900 years, Stefan. I know emotional manipulation. Now, I made a promise to our friend that I would help you no matter how difficult you make it. But you're going to have to do a lot worse to get under my skin. See you tomorrow."
You pulled the stake out and threw it to the ground before turning around and walking out.
• • •
Thanks for reading! Klaus has been very bad! And just when she was softening towards him oops sorry! Hope you liked it!