I knew that I wanted to do something for Riley's 26th birthday. Her birthday landed on a Saturday, and I wanted to try and plan something for us.
Maybe I can plan dinner, and then an overnight stay at a hotel or something?
I wanted to do something that Riley would genuinely enjoy.
I knew that she would say she would enjoy anything, as long as we were together- but I wanted to plan something special.
In the weeks leading up to her birthday, she was getting more and more stressed out from her mom being ill and trying new treatments for her cancer. But as always, she wore a smile.
I admired her strength so much.
I planned for us to go out to dinner at 6 PM, and then hit up an adult arcade that served alcohol, that I knew Riley would love. And of course- I booked a hotel stay.
While Riley's birthday was September 6th, my niece, Violet's birthday, was September 7th. She was going to be 5 years old.
I received a phone call from my mother after work the Wednesday before Riley's birthday. I hadn't spoken to her much since our phone call where she made the comments I didn't love about Riley.
"We're having a birthday party this Saturday for Violet," my mom said on the phone to me, "We'd love for you to be there. It's from 3-7 PM."
"I'll come," I said, "But I have to leave at around 5:30. I have plans."
"Plans more important than Violet's birthday?"
Yes.
I couldn't tell my mom that it was plans with someone I was dating, even if I lied and said it was a man. She would ask too many questions.
"Mom, I made these plans a while ago. It's a perfectly fine compromise, me going to Violet's party for a couple of hours, and then going to my plans I committed to."
My mom sighed, "Okay, fine. Your brother and Kristen will be there. He'll be glad to see you."
"I'll be glad to see him as well," I said.
Not Kristen, though.
I wasn't exactly looking forward to Violet's birthday party- mainly because I would have to see Kristen. Ever since she told me she knew about ym sexuality, I wanted to avoid her like the plague. My family as well.
However, on Saturday, I showed up to my parent's hose, with a gift in hand for Violet. She is obsessed with the movie Frozen, so I got her Elsa and Anna dolls.
Some of my family was there, but it was a lot of kids and their parents from Violet's school. Usually, my safest bet would be to stick with Brittany, but she was busy talking to parents from Violet's class. I looked around to see if by chance, Colton, her ex-husband was there- but he was not.
I texted Riley as I was walking into my parents house that I couldn't wait to see her. I had told her the plans I had made for us- except for the adult arcade. I decided to keep that part a secret.
At Violet's, I talked mostly to my cousin, Gabby. Of course, I gave my brother a big hug, and Kristen kind of a half hug, but I avoided them as much as I could.
I didn't like avoiding my brother. We were always very close growing up, as he is only a year older than me. But Kristen was always around him, and I had to avoid her.
At one point, Keith and Kristen beckoned me over to them. I put on a fake smile and walked over to them where they were standing by the grill.
"Hey, what's up?" I asked them.
"We wanted to tell you the gender of the baby," Keith said to me, "We were originally going to wait until the baby was born and keep it a surprise, but we were too eager."
"That's exciting," I said, "So, will I be having a niece or nephew?"
Kristen looked up at Keith and they smiled, and Kristen said to me, "You'll be having another niece."
"I love being a girl Aunt," I said, "I'm really happy for you both."
"Thank you," Kristen said, "I'm very excited. Jenny, do you want to be a mom one day? You know, when you settle down with a guy."
Kristen was giving me a challenging look as she said this. I felt my heart rate pick up.
"I'd like to be a mom. One day," I said, "Not yet."
"You need to find yourself a nice man, Jenny," Kristen said in a taunting tone, and she gave Keith a smile that somehow looked genuine and said, "Doesn't she?"
Shut the fuck up, you dumb bitch.
"Of course she does," Keith chuckled, "I have faith you will, Jenny. I'll be right back, I'm just going to grab a drink. Do either of you want anything?"
"I'm good, thanks," I said- knowing I was going to be left with Kristen now.
"I'll have a Sprite, babe," Kristen said to Keith, "Thank you."
"You got it," Keith said and then walked away.
After Keith was of earshot, Kristen turned to me and asked, "So. Are you a full-out lesbian?"
"I don't think that's any of your business," I said back to Kristen.
"Oh, I think it is. Remember, I can tell the family your secret at any point. You're lucky I haven't told Keith."
I rolled my eyes and said, "If you must know, I'm not a 'full-out' lesbian."
"But you still like women?" Kristen asked me.
"I think you know the answer to that," I said to her.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No," I said back, quickly.
I hate keeping Riley a secret.
"You answered that awfully fast."
I glowered at Kristen, but changed my tune when I saw Keith about to come back with the drinks.
After he handed Kristen the Sprite, I politely excused myself, disgusted from my conversation with Kristen.
I was beyond relieved when I was finally able to leave my parents house. I said goodbye to everyone, and got in my car, feeling like I couldn't get back to my apartment quickly enough.
I had made sure to call Riley earlier in the day to wish her a "happy birthday", but I was really looking forward to seeing her, especially now after seeing Kristen.
When I got back to my apartment, Stephanie was getting ready to go hangout with Johnny.
"Are you okay?" she asked me, "You look on edge."
I sighed and said, "I'm trying to calm down. I want to be present for Riley on her birthday. But Kristen pissed me off."
Stephanie and I wound up getting ready together, and I told her about Kristen, and how she was clearly taunting me, and then trying to get in my business.
Stephanie raised her eyebrows, "She's a fucking bitch."
"Oh, a major bitch," I said back.
"What does Keith see in her?"
"It's a mystery to me as well, Steph."
As Stephanie and I finished getting ready together, I found myself calming down more, and was just looking forward to seeing Riley.
"Have so much fun," Stephanie said, giving me a hug, "And please tell Riley I said happy birthday."
I had planned to go pick up Riley from her apartment as I wanted to take care of everything for her on her birthday. I drove over to her apartment and texted her that I was outside.
A minute passed, and she didn't come out. I then felt my phone vibrate once, and I saw a text from Riley.
It said: Can you come up? The door is unlocked.
I was a little bit confused as I got out of my car and walked up to Riley's apartment, hoping everything was okay.
When I walked in, Riley was pacing around the living room, talking to someone on the phone. She was in a t-shirt and workout shorts, not dressed to go to dinner.
Something is up.
"Okay, I'll be there shortly," Riley said, "Bye."
Riley wasn't facing me, but right when the door closed, she turned around. I could see that her cheeks were stained with mascara.
"Riley...what's going on?" I asked, walking toward her.
"It's my mom, she's not doing well. At all. Fuck, I'm so sorry, Jenny. I was about to get dressed when I got the call from the hospital, and now they're asking me to come to the hospital. I know you planned this whole night for us."
I pulled Riley in for a hug. I could by how fast she was talking that she was panicking.
I could feel her heartbeat as I held her close to me, and she practically melted into my embrace.
"It's okay, Riley," I said as we gently pulled away, "Don't apologize. Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?"
Riley nodded, "Sure. I'm not sure I'm in a place to drive right now. Thank you."
The drive to the hospital wasn't a far one, and when I parked, Riley asked, "Would you come in with me? If you don't want to, you totally don't have to, I just feel like I'm about to get bad news or something."
"Of course, I'll come in with you," I said.
Riley knew the hospital like the back of her hand, and we made our way up to the Oncology unit. We were required to put on masks as we did so.
"I wish you were meeting my mom under different circumstances...but here we are," Riley said.
Riley and I walked into her mom's hospital room, and I wished too that I was meeting her under very different circumstances.
Riley's mom looked like a blonde version of her. Riley told me that her mom wore wigs every day, as she was losing her hair from treatments. When Riley and I first walked in the room, she was sitting up with her eyes closed, however she opened them when we walked in, and I could see they were the same dark color as Riley's.
There was also another woman in the room, wearing a white coat.
"Who do we have here?" Riley's mom asked, her voice sounding a bit weak.
"Mom, this is my girlfriend, Jenny," Riley said to her. She then greeted the other woman, "Hi, Dr. Mason."
"Jenny, I've heard so much about you," Riley's mom said, giving me a faint smile, "It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you as well, Miss-"
"Call me Tess," she said, still smiling at me.
"So, what exactly is going on?" Riley asked, looking between Dr. Mason and her mom.
"I'm suspecting the cancer has spread," Dr. Mason said, "We're going to do some tests tomorrow, but with how your mom has been feeling...I just have my suspicions. I could be wrong, and I hope I am wrong. I'll make sure we run all tests possible."
Riley closed her eyes for a split second, taking in what Dr. Mason had said, and then spoke, "So, the treatments are possibly not working?"
"That's unfortunately correct," Dr. Mason said, "And we'll discuss other options from here if that is the case."
"Understood," Riley said softly. All I wanted to do in that situation was pull her into a hug and hold her. The look on her face was one of complete defeat.
"I'm in quite a lot of pain," Riley's mom said to Dr. Mason, "Can you give me something?"
"Of course," Dr. Mason nodded, "I'll be back. It was nice to meet you, Jenny."
"You too," I said, as she walked out.
Riley's mom gave her a weak smile and said, "Happy birthday, baby. Do you two have plans for tonight?"
Riley and I looked at each other and she said, "We'll figure something out, yeah."
We didn't stay for much longer, as Riley's mom wasn't feeling well. As Riley and I walked out to her car, I could tell she was holding back tears. I could see it in her face, and she was blinking more than usual as if she was blinking back tears.
The floodgates opened right when we got in my car. The tears started flowing immediately, and it was the most upset I had seen her.
"I know what the 'other options' are," Riley said between tears, "Hospice. This treatment was her last chance."
Riley put her head in her hands, and I could see her shaking from crying. I gently put my hand on her back to try and soothe her, and I said, "I am so, so sorry. I'm here for you."
I wasn't 100% sure what to say in this situation. But I wanted her to know I was here for her, no matter what.
"I'm not ready for her to go," Riley said, lifting up her head, "I know that I wasn't even that close to her, but she's still my mom."
"I know," I said, "I know this is incredibly difficult."
Riley nodded, and said, "I had this hope that maybe after my mom got better, we would be closer. I had so much hope she was going to beat this. Now, I may never get that chance. My dad already walked out when I was a kid to be with another woman...and now my mom is likely dying. Fuck."
She wiped at her eyes, and I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear that was hanging in her face.
Before I could say anything, she said, "Once again, I am terribly sorry about my birthday plans."
"And once again, don't apologize."
"You mentioned you had something else planned besides dinner and the hotel," Riley said, her voice shaky, "I'm curious as to what that was."
"An adult arcade. It has drinks and everything. But we can go anytime, Riley."
"I want to go tonight," Riley said, "I know I'm a fucking mess, but I want to try and enjoy a little bit of this day with you."
"Okay," I said, "Then we'll go to the arcade."
And I'll try to make your birthday as good as it can be.