Why do I say the things I say? It's stupid, I never think. Do I ever think? No. I do not. That's the problem with me, and why I get into all the issues I normally do.
"Darla, are you okay?" Cleo asks as I stare some more into space while setting the table. I thought since I'm here I should help around the place. "Yeah." I huff, shaking my head out of the day-dream.
Popes mom comes out, she's wearing an apron and there's a beautiful scent that is definitely her signature buffalo wings that I always love.
"Look at you, setting the table." She smiles at me as I continue placing the plates out.
"Of course, wouldn't want to miss the wings." I add, smiling brightly.
"Mhm, unlike my derelict son." She looks around. "He's usually here by now."
Suddenly Heyward storms out, he seems angry and stressed. "Which one of you stole my pistol?" He asks. "The one I keep under the register?"
My eyes widen as I look over to Cleo. She's already staring.
"Darla?" He asks, very anxious.
"No, Heyward. I was out here the entire time. Cleo, wasn't I?" I turn for support and she's nodding.
"We weren't inside at all, Mr. Heyward." Cleo shakes her head and looks at me.
"Well somebody has it, because it's gone." He yells. He storms back into the house in a huff.
Popes mom runs after him and Cleo and I immediately jump to conclusion. "Pope." We say in unison.
"He couldn't." I say after, in denial. "Pope wouldn't want to kill anyone."
"Darl, we just got to assume that's the case. Because it if is, we don't got a lot of time."
Cleo jumps down from the wooden railings. "I'll take the marina."
"I'll check down Tannyhill." I nod. "If he's not there meet back at the château, alright? I'll be there if he's not at Tanny."
She nods as we both go our separate ways.
__________________
I whistle, walking down the roads. Pope wasn't at Tannyhill, no one was. It's gotten pretty dark. I should probably just head back to the château.
On my way home, I see JJ's house.
From what I recall as a kid, there's a shortcut to the château through his front yard.
Should I take it? Yeah. Why not?
I walk up the driveway, seeing all the chairs out on the grass. The motorbike perked up on its stand.
I hum, kicking a rock among the others as I get bored of walking by myself.
I look over at the house, and shock reaches me when I see JJ lay on his couch.
I poke my gum with my tongue. Why is he sleeping outside? That's when I see the eviction notice page stuck upon his door.
"Fuck." I mumble to myself, walking up onto the porch quietly. I don't know if he's asleep or not, hopefully he is. Why didn't he tell me?
"Darla. What are you doing here?" I look over and see him stood against the mosquito netted frames.
I jump, stuttering. "Just.. checking. Is Pope here?"
"No, why would he be here?" JJ asks, raising an eyebrow.
I shrug lightly, my lips sealed together. "He uh, he took off with Heyward's pistol. Cleo and I went looking for him, she's down at the marina."
JJ looks up. "You were right, he is turning into me. He likes his guns." He turns around and walks back into the dock on the side of his house.
I cross my arms, now I'm going to have to battle this. What I said about him earlier. Shit.
"I'm sorry." How many times have I been sorry in the past few years, I don't know. But the word 'sorry' doesn't even feel like a real word with how many times it comes out of my mouth.
JJ aggressively takes up his pillows and throws them back down again. "I feel like every time we talk, it ends up in an argument." He says as he continues fixing pillows.
I watch each pillow drop. "I know, and I hate it. And I'm aware that the majority of the time, it's me that causes it."
He shakes his head. "Darl, you and I both know it's me." He laughs a little, trying to cover up his sadness. "I am my fathers son, after all."
"You're not." I sternly say, getting annoyed that he's really giving into all these lies that people have said to him over the years. "Don't give me that shit, JJ."
He stops and turns to look at me.
"Stop listening to what I say, I'm full of shit. I don't mean half the words that come out of my mouth." I shake my head, referring to earlier.
His brows narrow as I speak, his jaw clenched. "Yeah, but it's not just you that says it. My whole life I've been compared to him."
"It's just the unfortunate ways of the world that you were born to him, okay? That doesn't mean you are him." I state, shaking my head. "You don't have to forgive me. I'm just sick of you actually believing these stuck up Kooks who call you someone who you despise."
"They don't say it for no reason, Darla! It's simple, they say it cause they mean it." He storms past me, ripping the eviction notice slip off the door. "I'm getting evicted from my house, that's a Luke move." He crumbles up the paper, throwing it to the floor.
I cross my arms. "You're seriously using getting evicted from a house that only brings shitty memories to you an example of your 'comparison' to your father?" I roll my eyes with a scoff.
"Yes. Yes I am." He brushes past me again. I shake my head.
"Just text me if Pope shows up." I say, sick of the rude tension between us. "I'm not gonna stand here and be a dummy to your bullshit."
"I didn't think you would." His laugh comes out deflated.
"JJ, I can't deal. I really can't. You say you love me, and then you hate me. And I quite literally don't know where your head is at because mines spinning." I bring it out of the shadows, because I know he's thinking about it.
"I thought we were keeping it as friends." He says, referring to our truce.
I rub my forehead. "Fuck the truce. Fuck that. You either love me or you don't. Just say the words and I'll leave. And I won't mention it again. I'm so sick of chasing you. Tell me where your heads at!"
He hesitates with his following sentence, so much that it doesn't come out. And it's then that I realise that he doesn't. And that it's been a one-sided love this entire time.
I exhale sharply, catching my tears with a look up to the sky. "Okay." my voice escapes in a quiver, I try to hide my heartbreak. But I know it's obvious.
As my heels turn to leave, there's the feeling again. 'Find a distraction.' on repeat in my head. I don't have ice, I don't have my lighter, I don't have a blade. I have nothing to distract myself. I should've taken the long route. Why didn't I take the fucking long route?
I walk down the steps, my hand on my stomach. There's so much I want to tell him. So much. And it's stabbing me in the chest how I am always holding back. Should I hold back anymore? It's like a permanent headache trying to keep the cap on the bottle that holds my actual feelings for him. And if I release, it'd be like a fresh breath of release. Regardless of him accepting the words or not.
I stop, my feet on the grass and looking out to the sunsets reflect on the marsh. I turn. And there he is, right in front of me. He grabs my face and suddenly I'm back at the bonfire.
His cold hands on my face, and we're kissing. And it feels like our first kiss again.
I wrap my arms tightly around his neck as he lifts me up, not pulling away. I don't actually think I have a conscience right now. Because everything feels so surreal.
His hand grips onto the back of my head and I literally cannot breath, but I can't pull back. I cant. This man has a chokehold on me and I don't want him to let go.
"Darla." He pulls away, his breath practically gone. "I've always wanted you." Before he forcefully pressed his lips back onto my smile, I've always dreamed of this moment. And my heart is fully taken now that's its here. He brings me inside as we're still making out. I don't know what is going on. Everything about this is passionate. And it's scary. And a lot is happening. This is definitely a greater distraction than ice.
I jump off, pushing him back onto the couch before straddling him and kissing him some more, my head tilting every way as I press myself into him. I pull back. "Just friends?" I ask, smirking a little.
"Hmm." He squints. He looks my body that's on top of him up and down before back up at my face. "With benefits."
I push myself back onto him, he grabs the back of my head, before holding onto my back and turning me over to lay on the couch. And that's when it hits me.
Am I seriously about to hook up with JJ?
Well it's what I always wanted. Kiara always gagged when I laughed and joked about it, imagine what her reaction might be when I tell her it actually happened. Holy fuck. I don't know what to make of myself. Welp. Pope might screw up his face at the thought, and John B'll only laugh at us continuously for the remainder of our lives. Sarah will be proud and probably like plan our wedding. And though this doesn't mean I'm his boyfriend, it's everything I could ever want.
He takes off his shirt and continues kissing me, I actually think I might gain some sort of asthmatic condition from this. His hand grips onto my thigh as mine grips onto his neck. I let out a sharp exhale when he does.
He helps me to pull my shirt off, which I find so hot. Like yes, aid me in fucking you.
Suddenly tires rolling over rocks could be hard outside, I tap JJ, pulling back. "Sh." I hold his mouth, listening out for something.
We're in silence until we hear John B's voice. "JJ, are you here?" He yells, his voice quivering, almost as if he's been crying.
I push him off in realisation, he pulls his shirt back on and so do I. He orders me to wait there, and I do as he walks out to see where the fuck John B went this entire time.
I sit up on the couch, it should've felt weird judging the fact that JJ and I have been best friends for so long. But it wasn't. It felt like a scenario you'd only dream about.
I pull out my phone, checking to see if there's charge on it. There is.
I quickly go into Kie and I's messages, contemplating whether to tell her or not.
I switch off my phone, it's probably better to keep it on the down low. Maybe I should show my face to John B. See the real reason he's been gone for so long.
I brush my self off before standing up
and walking out to the dock. I scratch my head and yawn, pretending I've been asleep. "God, what time is it?" JJ looks over at me. It's weird to see his face knowing I was under him not a matter of seconds ago.
I notice John B in a terrible state.
"So, you gonna spill the beans?" JJ asks, knowing exactly that John B was lying. I cross my arms, tilting my head. We're the ones that know John B best.
"Tell us the truth, what's really going on." I sternly say, John B looks down.
"Look, I know I've been a little shady." He sighs, nodding before his eyes flicker back up.
JJ and I nod.
"And.. stretched the truth a little bit." He avoids the words to explain what he's doing.
"Yeah, that's called lying." JJ clarifies.
John B sighs in defeat. "Yeah, I know."
I uncross my arm, shaking my head. "John B, just tell us what's going on."
He takes a hasty breath, hesitating to speak. "My dad killed two guys."
I stare, I don't think my brain can fully render that sentence.
JJ and I look at each other in shock before back over at John B, with nothing to say.
"He was trying to protect me." He tries to say in defence.
"No, no, no. Hold on, okay?" JJ holds up his hand, panicking a bit. "You serious?"
"Yes." John B immediately says, he's clearly scared for his life.
I sharply exhale. "When? Who?"
"It was the guys from the Coastal Venture. They came here looking for Denmarks diary." He answers, I can tell he's totally stressed out and messed up from this.
"Your dad capped them for that?" JJ says in denial.
"Yes, and then Singh showed up. They took my dad, then tried to kill me." He blabbers on, talking too fast to comprehend.
"John B, Singh?" I look to the side, remembering the links he has, the power. "Singh is here?"
"Yes, Darla! They took him to South America. All right?" He wipes his face while talking rapidly.
JJ blinks multiple times, trying to follow what he is saying. All of this is happening all at once, JJ and I and now this?
"John B!" I cry out, causing him to stop power talking.
"Just.. just breathe, for a second." JJ shakes his head, holding his chest. "I need to think." He turns around and walks over to the steps leading up to his porch. I stare at the floor.
He sits down on the steps, rubbing his forehead before looking up and seeing John B and I stood idle, he pats the steps beside him, calling us to sit and think with him.
John B sits beside JJ and I sit beside John B.
We all three just sit in silence, not sure of what to do.
"I don't know what to do, guys." He shakes his head, looking up. "How the hell are we gonna get to South America."
I bite my gum, looking over at the two boys.
"No clue." JJ shrugs.
"Guys." I sigh. "Don't give up so soon, there's always a way. We three always figure out a way and we always have, have we not?" I ask, arching a brow.
"Yeah." JJ says after me with a grin, wrapping his right arm around John B And touching my shoulder. I lean my head on John B's shoulder, wrapping my arm left around his.
"We're pogues, guys." JJ says.
I nod. "Always will be."
John B chuckles a little, I see him soften up. He only rarely does that when he needs to.
"I know it's corny, but I really do love you guys."
I cackle a little, still laying on his shoulder. "Yeah, me too." I look up at JJ, he's already looking down at me.
We exchange eye contact for a moment before he finally speaks. "Me three."
_______________________
HELLO!
i just wanted to say sorry for the slow releases, I've been working on a new outer banks fanfic for a little while. Just for when I finish writing Season 3 of this fic. Because I know I'll finish it before season 4 comes out. And it'll be on hold until season 4's release!
HOPE U GUYS ARE HAPPY WITH THIS CHP! ❤️❤️❤️😘😘 love you all too much to put in words hope ur holding up well and fighting that winter depression 😩😩