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Shrey's pov
" I'm dying to see her " Just as I said those words, felt like I took away so much weight from myself. My heart was beating very hard, it could come out at any time. I don't know if Arini will agree to meet me or not, agree to forgive me or not, agree to love me or not.
I scared losing her after pushing her away from me very badly.
I saw didi standing up from her chair. She left before saying, " Sambhalke is baar " With that she left but my gaze was fixed on that gate. The gate didn't open for another time, that means Arini really doesn't want to see me anymore?
( take care this time)
I clutched the bedsheets tightly within my hands. The pain of my body didn't feel much in front of the pain of my heart.
I averted my gaze again towards the gate when the sound of door opening reached to my ears. And my heart found peace, seeing her coming inside. Suddenly, my eyes became wet, looking at her.
She didn't take steps towards me, instead stood there on the gate, looking down and sniffling. She didn't even upped her head for a sec. The whole room filled with the sound of her sobs.
And with each sounds, I felt the pain engulfing me and my heart. Her each sobs, tears , told me that I was reason behind of it. Now maybe after knowing this, I lost the right to call her towards me, to close to me. A tear dropped from my eye and i clutched the sheet.
I didn't want to waste time anymore, wanted to talk to her. I had a lot of things to tell her, to confess her, to apologize to her. With that thought I tried to get down from the bed. My left foot touched the floor and when I tried to get down properly, I steps stumbled because of my weak body. I was about to fall but she ran to me and held me.
I looked at her face this time from the close proximity. In a few days, the whole shine of her face was snatched away. Soon the the tears will be dry too. What has she done to herself?
Not she. But you Shrey.
I sighed and another tear fall down from my eye. " A... Arini " My own voice shook when I inhaled.
I saw her sucking on her lip and trying to stop the tears which of no use.
" Please " My fingers reached to her eyes to wipe those. After long I touched her soft cheek. She was so close to me but was about to go after settling me in the bed.
I chose the moment to hold her wrist to stop her from leaving. " Don't leave me arini. Please " I pleaded almost. All sudden a fear was eating me. I thought she would leave me. Even though I deserve that but.... but... I don't know how will I stay away from my love...
" Sit here please. Sit with me " I said again and tapped the area in front of me. She was still looking down, with tears in her eyes which was stabbing dagger inside of my body.
She did not argue that much but I saw her hesitating at first. Soon she gave in and sat in front of me. I never let go of her hand and gave a squeeze there while bringing her body closer to me.
" This tears are killing me arini. Please stop shedding them please " I caressed her cheek and said. " They're precious. Don't let them fall like this. Moreover I am alive. Don't cry anymore " I tried to chuckle in the end with the thought that she would laugh too but she did not. Instead she let out more tears.
I was scared and could not stop myself from asking " Arini... You won't leave me, right? "
She left a loud sob this time and I asked again, " I can't stay without you Arini. I am sorry "
" Hey please say something. "
" At least look at me. Won't you let me look at those beautiful eyes of yours? " When I said that, she lifted her gaze up a little and I saw those beautiful eyes, filling with fresh, warm tears. They were swollen, red and tired of crying for a person who does not deserve her.
I immediately wiped them and put her both hands around my neck. I sneaked my arms on her waist to pull her closer.
" Arini chup... Abhi itna royogi toh main mar jayunga yaar"
( arini stop. If you cry this much now, I'll die really)
Just as those words left my mouth, she didn't waste time before slapping my chest and pushing me a little away from her. Even though I was injured, I was still stronger than her so my body didn't move a bit and I saw her keeping her one hand on her lap in her lost.
" Kya hua? " I asked.
( what happened?)
" Baat baat... Pe marne ki baat.. Lana bohot pasand haina tumko " She uttered in difficulty as her voice was shaking due to crying. Her eyes were flickering on my chest.
( you like bringing the topic of dying everytime. )
" Ek baar hospitalized hoke dil nahi bhara tumhara? Jo firse.... g...gandi baatein kar rhe ho " She complained.
( you're not satisfied with being hospitalized for once. Why are you saying bad stuffs again?)
I opened my mouth to say something but she added, " Next time you will see me laying here. Then you will understand how does it feel "
I took her head to my chest and tapped her head. " Shut up. I won't let this happen "
She tried to hard to push me but I didn't move again. " Who are you to say this? You broke up with me " I heard her muffled voice.
" I... I am... " I cried too this time " I am sorry "
Suddenly a hand came closer to my face, wiping my tears off . I held her face in front of me suddenly and asked, " Arini you will forgive me right? " My fear was visible in my tone. She too looked at me with stiffened eyes.
" Say something please. "
She was still silent. I smiled sadly, shedding more fresh tears " Baat bhi nahi karogi "
( you won't talk to me?)
She shook her head and said, " I am not angry. You don't need my forgiveness but your family's "
" They are more hurt than me Shrey "
" What if I say that you are my family as well " I could not stop myself from saying that. She looked at me for awhile and soon those eyes filled with tears.
Before she could cry again I cupped her face and brought her closer to me " No no... Shhh... Not anymore. You cried already so much "
" Now you need to forgive me just "
She punched on my chest with her tiny fists and said hiccuping " Never. I will never forgive you. * hiccups * have you seen what you are looking right now? * hiccups* kya haal bana diya apna? "
( what have you done to yourself? )
There was a glass of water near the bed, on a table. That was kept for me but I gave it to her. She didn't drink at first but started saying " No... Let me talk * hiccups* kya mangti hu main tumse? * hiccups * paisa nhi hota sab kuch "
( what do I ask from you? Money is not everything)
I didn't reply to her but pushed the glass to her. After she finished that and again started complaining " Kya main itni buri hu Shrey? "
( am I that bad Shrey?)
I shook my head feeling a horror in me " Nahi pagal. " ( no, fool)
" But money matters. It's important to lead a happy life. It's important for a stable relationship. It's important to have comfort--"
" Dediya comfort tumne yeh sabh karke? Mujhe? Apne apko? Apne parivaar ko? Dediya comfort? "
( did you give comfort by doing this? To me? To yourself, to your family? Did you give us comfort?)
I lowered my gaze. I had no words to save myself. She had the right to show her anger and i deserved that. But she was my angel. She held my face and made me look at her. " I don't like when you put your head down in front of me. "
That was too much to handle for me. That care, respect and efforts she put for me everytime, melted my heart already but today I felt more than that. I cried effortlessly and dipped my head downwards.
" I am sorry Arini... I wanted to push you away so that nothing hurts you.... " More tears rolled down, made my cheeks wet. " But I ended up hurting you..... very badly "
In no time, I was in her embrace. She held me tightly and I could feel myself shaking badly. I broke in her arms. I could remember all the memories of ours. Arini was always there and she is still there for me. Why is it me always ruining everything?
I lost control from myself and cried more. But a hand was always caressing my back in a soothing manner.
" Shrey you are very much brave " She stated making me surprised. " Yes. I am saying the truth. You took the step which none could ever do for your loved ones ... You agreed to get shot.....you knew the danger, you knew the pain but still took this step.....i don't care about others but in my view you're the most brave Shrey.... I need to compliment your bravery.... " She tried to boost my confidence.
But that was not going to satisfy me today. The more good she was behaving with me the more I felt ashamed of being a jerk.
I'm asking forgiveness from her and she's busy praising me, busy making me feel good about myself, busy making my flutter with her words. I wonder which good deeds of mine, brought her in my life.
" Please stop crying Shrey. Please. Or else I will cry too "
" Arini" Breaking the hug I looked at her. "Leave me Arini. I don't deserve you. I seriously do not. You loved me too much, more than the amount I deserve. Yes, you were right. If not me, someone else is there for you. You should stop wasting your time on me... I don't dese--"
I stopped looking at her tears. They betrayed her eyes again and flowed. " Tum khud se hi mujhko dur kardete ho. Kyun fir dekhna chahte the mujhe? Firse ek aur baar dur hatane ke liye kya? Aur kehte ho ki main buri nahi hu? Fir tumhare pyaar ke layak nhi kyun? "
( you, yourself are pushing me again. Then why did you want to see me again? Just to push me away again ? And you said that I'm not bad then why am I not enough good for your love?)
I wiped those tears in hurry as they were piercing my heart. " Pagal ho tum? Tum mere pyaar ke layak nahi yeh maat socho, main tumhare layak nahi hu Arini? Kitni pyaar karti ho tum mujhse.. Main kahan kabil hu iska "
( are you mad? Don't think like you don't deserve my love, instead it's me who doesn't deserve your love. You love me so much... How am I able of that?)
" Tum mujhse pyaar nahi karte Shrey?"
( don't you love me Shrey?)
" Loved you from a long ago. Loved you yesterday too, will love you today and tomorrow "
" Then you're the most deserving person for me. I don't care if you're poor, can't give me expensive things, can't give me big house, but love. Your love is the priceless thing I want to have. I don't want anything more "
Even a thousands of thanks were not enough to her today. A weak smile waved on my lips when she said that.
I pulled her neck closer to press my lips on her. I kissed her without warning, without permission, without my own decision. I only knew I needed that. I couldn't do anything else now, only that breath she was holding, I needed that.
My another hand cupped her cheek, pulling her body closer to me, locking her, wrapping her with me.
Our tears got mixed, giving us the taste of salt. I couldn't help but chuckled and pulled her more towards me. I wasn't getting enough. Our heart which was thumping inside, slowed down with the kiss, all the pain of my muscle were gone. I was surprised after knowing how much I needed her with me.
Arini was unknown to the process of kissing. But still she was moving her lips, trying to match the synch with me. Her small loose fists were resting on my chest. I knew how much timid she was now. But I didn't care about anything.
I just wanted to make sure that now nothing will create mess between us anymore. I will not give anything a chance anymore, not even myself.
I felt her tapping on my chest all sudden.
" Mhn... " She wanted to say something. I pulled her back and looked at her panting very hard with closed eyes. I understood that she was out of breath.
Her face held all the shades of red together. I wiped that small existence of tear from her face and touched our foreheads together. I didn't let her go. I didn't want to leave her today. We stayed in that position until she pulled back.
" Par tum mujhse bhi badi buddhu ho. Ajse main tumko stupid bolungi " She said making me chuckle. She poked her tiny fingers on my chest and a small pout was on her lips.
( but you're more stupid than me. From now I'll call you stupid )
" Call me whatever you want, punish me if you want. I'm ready for everything as long as you're not leaving and 'us' are making it forever "
Her face was red. And she blinked looking at me. " You know how much scared I was? " I looked at her to listen to her. " My dress became red... Wi... With your b... b.. " She couldn't utter the next word
I caressed her hand and spoke " Blood? "
I saw a sudden fear in her eyes. They were for me. The sudden urge to keep me safe forever.
I pulled her closer, understanding the breaking tone of her heart, I caressed her face.
"Please.... Ne... never do this "
She touched her head on my chest and I kissed her head multiple times, making sure that I am here for her.
"Main darr gyi thi"
( I was scared)
Suddenly I was invited by her cute warning, " Agli baar esa kuch kiya agar tumne toh dekhna kitna marti hu main "
( if you try to do this again, just be prepare because I'll beat you so much)
I chuckled " Itne chhote chhote hathon se mera kya hoga? " Holding her palm I asked.
( what will you do with the small paws?)
" Gunde bulakar marungi "
( I'll call gangsters to beat you)
I laughed this time knowing that she is feeling at ease. " Haan ankit aur madhav ko paise de dena woh kardenge "
( yeah bribe ankit, madhav. They'll work for you )
She too chuckled .
" I heard that your right leg is fractured too? " She asked looking at me and I nodded.
" How is it now? And your back? "
" Not much good. It'll take time"
She pouted hearing my answer and I quickly pecked her pout. " But you know? It wasn't supposed to be like this... I was getting the gun shot only on my back... I don't know why my bike wasn't working in the end "
Hearing my words, I felt the changes of her expression. " What happened to you? " I asked.
" I know what happened there exactly "
" What? "
" Karan broke the brakes on purpose. "
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Not sure how the chapter was... Hoping that it was good enough