Pehle ap is chapter ko padho main kuch batana pasand karungi... Is wale chapter ko maine kahani likhne ki pehle hi likh liya tha, draft mein tha...bas isi chapter ke upar depend karke maine puri kahani likhi hai...hahha..batane ka koi mtlb nhi hai par fir bhi bataya..hhaaha 🌻🌻🌻
Shrey's pov
" Arini. I'm breaking up with you " I said those words before my voice could crack. Words felt like weapon, they crushed my heart. I didn't dare to look at her face this time. If I'm feeling this much hurt while doing this, don't know what she is feeling inside.
A minute passed, none said anything. And I felt like a tear escaped from my right eye. I wanted to wipe it before she could see but I was slow. She saw it anyway and asked me, "now I have to believe it? You're crying while saying this " Her voice sounded heavy too.
I wiped my eye with the back of my hand. This time I gathered my courage to look at her. I needed to be harsh to take this step.
" Yes. You need to believe what I am doing. I'm breaking this " I said while pointing at each other. But all my bravery went to the vain when I met her teary eyes. Something hurt deeply inside my heart. I cursed my fate for doing this to me.
" I won't listen anything..... " She started sobbing " Jo puch rhi thi uska jawab do... How did you get this marks? " She came closer to me.
( give me answers of what I am asking)
My lips didn't move for awhile. I gulped before uttering " None... None of your business Arini " Another tear came and this time she wiped it saying,
" Bolo na.. What's wrong? I can feel something is going wrong. Bolo na mujhe Shrey I won't tell it to anyone I promise " She cried.
( tell me shrey)
The more her tears were coming, the more I was feeling the pain. My whole body was in pain this time but nothing hurt me more than her cries. My heart winced in pain.
" Please go Arini please " I muttered looking at eyes. I was being weak in front of her now. My eyes showered tears all over my face this time and I didn't even care to wipe it. I just pushed her a little and took some back steps looking down. " Please go " This time it came like a plead.
" Par kyun? Maine kya kiya? " Her voice broke more.
( but why? What did I do?)
And I closed my eyes tightly. Yes? What's her fault? Nothing is her fault... The fault is only in me. She is precious, innocent, loving... Too valuable to me.... I'm not able to keep her.
" Shrey please... What did I do to have this? Tell me Shrey.. " My eyes opened again hearing her voice. I looked at her and wanted to say badly that you didn't do anything but me.. It's me..
But I still have time. I can solve it for her. It's still not too late.
" Go. Just go away. Leave my life. " I shouted making her flinch. But Arini didn't leave. She looked fearless today. She stood closer again.
She shook her head and held my rough hands with her tiny hands. She couldn't say anything but choke on her tears. Her face became red because of crying, eyes seemed tired but still more tears kept coming, lips trembled to utter something but the sounds of sobs came out.
That's it. I lost all my harshness and cupped her cheeks bringing our faces closer to each other I said, " Arini... You're innocent... You don't understand anything... Please listen to me... I'm doing this for our good... "
She again shook her head.
And I cupped more tightly and came closer.
" We are not suitable for each other. Why can't you understand? I'm not even this much.... Even this much eligible for you. Why can't you get this thing inside of your head? "
She blinked and more tears came. She looked confused. And I shook my head. " You're not understanding... I'm.... I am poor Arini... Too much poor... I can't get you " I had to close my eyes in shame.
" Matlab? " ( what do you mean?) She asked out of nowhere making me open my eyes. She held my hands and said, " You love me. I love you. That's enough. Doesn't only love matter? "
I shook my head and a weak smile appeared on my lips. " Only money matters Arini. "
She again shook her head. " Love. It's love Shrey and I know you love me. Then why? "
I left her this time & took a few back steps. " Haa chalo karta hu main tumse pyaar. Bohot pyaar karta hu par bas pyaar se kya hoga Arini? " My voice raised a bit automatically. "How will I take care of you? Have you ever thought? Here, I am not even able to take care of my mom and dad. How will I take care of you!?! "
( yeah, okay I love you alot. I love you really alot but what will you do with love only Arini?)
I told her finally. I revealed my biggest insecurity to her finally. And I saw her crying and shaking her head only. My eyes were wet too. Both of us were crying.
" Pyaar nhi ho skta hum dono mein Arini. Tum bohot kimti ho, main itna ameer nhi " I said my last words. This was the only thing which always stopped me from loving her. But a heart can never be stopped. So I fall. I fall for her somehow but I tried my best to stay away from her.
( we cannot love each other Arini. You're priceless and I'm not enough rich for you)
Don't know what got in my head and I forgot about everything. But it's wrong. I shouldn't be the one for her. I am not the one for her.
She will never be happy with me.
"Kya bol rahe ho tum.. Kyun bol rahe ho? "
( what are you saying? Why are you saying?)
I shook my head. " It's the reality. We have so many differences. Our lives, our lifestyles, everything is different. I'm not rich enough to match your standards. It's the reality... There's no future of us. There can't be any. Just go now. Leave me. Go go go away. " I shouted at the end and saw her flinching again.
I felt being so weak now. My throat started hurting, it felt to hard to breathe. The sight of her breaking down in front of me, was too much to take. All these years whenever she chased me, I knew this differences between us. But why could not you understand Arini?
I was on painkillers but the way my heart was paining, no pain killers could take away this pain.
I felt like questioning my own existence now. I'm too weak to take care of my family, too weak to handle any situation, too weak to have you. You don't deserve me surely. You will find someone else. Not me..
But she was stubborn. She didn't move from her place, kept on looking at me with tears in her eyes.
" Shrey " Now she spoke with her broken tone.
" I might be immature, might be sounding dramatic,might be a stupid.... But my defination of love is so different... Pyaar mein bas pyaar hota... Agar do insaan ek dusre se pyaar kare toh baki kuch nazar nhi ata.. Tum pyaar se ameer ho mere liye, paison ki ameeri nhi chahiye mujhe"
( love is only love. If two persons are in love then they don't think of anything else. For me, you're rich with love.. I don't want money)
I don't know how she is saying all these things. Her words made me skip my heart beats. I felt like she was taking my insecurities away from me one by one.
But these lines are good for stories only. In reality we have so much to see. She is indeed too innocent to understand this.
" Yeh sab sach nhi hota Arini.. "
( these are not real Arini)
Shaking her head rapidly, she came to me and hugged me all sudden.
" Shrey, mujhe nhi pata kuch... Tum jo bhi, jese bhi ho, mujhe dedo.. Bas.. Mujhe aur kuch nhi chahiye... Shrey main kabhi kuch nhi mangungi tumse... Bas tum ayo. Bas tum. "
( shrey, I don't know anything.... Just give me you, the way you are.. Just you... I do not want anything else... I will never ever ask of anything else from you... Only you. I want you only)
She sobbed here in my arms. I badly wanted to hold that body of hers and never let her go. It felt so wrong to push someone like this who loves me so much, whom I love so much. It felt so much illegal to be lucky by her love when I don't deserve even an inch of it.
I slowly pushed her and joined my two palms togethers, looking down at the floor I whispered, " Sorry... I am sorry.. "
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