I'm sorry that I didn't upload a new chapter last week. I'm in the middle of moving into a new flat, so there might be weeks when I can't upload. However, I'll make an effort to provide you with new chapters regularly. And I hope to have more time by early January at the latest. For now, enjoy the chapter and Emma's response.
Thank you for your comments. If you have any wishes or suggestions, feel free to let me know.
Emma sat motionless, her heart racing as she processed her father's words. Thomas almost interpreted the silence between them as a definitive end to their relationship. His little dwarf sat far away from him. Why had he even broached this delicate topic?
Finally, Emma broke the silence. "I don't understand," she began hesitantly. Her forehead creased as she tried to piece together the puzzle in her mind. "It doesn't change who you are."
He looked at his daughter sadly. She really seemed not to grasp it. "It does, Emma. Everything has just changed," he said, swallowing hard. Emma scrutinized her dad. His face reflected deep fear. The uncertainty of how his daughter would react to this revelation tormented him.
Emma tried to comprehend what her Dad meant. What had changed? He still like smoking, pancakes and reading stories. "No, it hasn't," Emma concluded after careful consideration. "You're still my Dad. You still read me bedtime stories, like pancakes, and smoking. Nothing has changed. So why should I hate you?" she asked, studying her father's face. He looked so broken, a side of him she had never seen before.
"You are right. You don't understand what this is about." Thomas realised, "I'm different, and just that is a reason why you should hate me," explained Thomas, a hint of sadness in his voice.
Emma placed her hand on her father's. "Not for me" she whispered. Thomas flinched slightly under her touch. "I could never hate you. You're my Dad, and I love you," declared Emma, pressing a kiss to his cheek "so very much." Then, her arms found their way around Thomas's neck. She nestled closely to her father. "You're still the person you always were – the one I got to know. I don't care who you love. We always stick together, remember? We're a team... " Emma pasued, "No, we're a family."
His daughter's words nearly brought Thomas to tears. Thomas's tears snaked down his cheek. What was happening here? Why didn't his child scream in horror? Why didn't she run away or avoid him like everyone else who learned of his difference? Why did this little girl stay with him and embrace him? He had expected rejection or judgment, but instead, he felt unconditional love and acceptance.
"Please don't cry, Daddy. I'm here. I'll always be on your side."
For the first time, Thomas experienced an overwhelming sense of unconditional love and acceptance. The torrent of emotions coursing through him was both bewildering and profound. The fact that his child, instead of reacting with fear or rejection, chose to embrace him in the face of his deepest secret, left Thomas in a state of disbelief and profound gratitude. It was a transformative moment, a glimmer of light breaking through the shadows of his past, as he realized that, at least in the eyes of his daughter, he was not defined by societal expectations but rather embraced for the person he truly was.
"I'll never leave you." Emma told him. She gently wiped away his tears with her thumb, a silent gesture of comfort that spoke volumes. In that tender moment, without uttering a single word, she sought to provide solace to her father. The touch of her thumb, a small but profound act, conveyed empathy and understanding, bridging the emotional gap between them. In the quiet exchange, the unspoken language of love and compassion unfolded, creating a space where Thomas felt seen, accepted, and embraced by the one person whose opinion mattered most to him.
"I promise you, Dad, I'll never reveal your secret to anyone. Pinky swear," vowed the 8-year-old, hooking her little finger with her speechless father's.
Finally, Thomas reciprocated the loving embrace. His arms now found their way around Emma, holding the child even tighter. "You're a truly miracle, my little dwarf," he whispered, his eyes filling with tears once again. "What you just said means a lot to me." He had his daughter's understanding and love, and that was the most important thing in the world for him.
After some time, Emma pulled away from the embrace to look her Dad in the eyes, but she remained seated on his lap. She sensed how much he enjoyed her proximity and how he still couldn't quite believe that she hadn't walked away long ago.
"I have another important question, Dad."
"Another one? You're asking a lot of questions tonight, little dwarf."
"Did you love Mama? How am I here if you're 'different'?"
Flashback 1911
Martha and Thomas had known each other their entire lives, attending the same school. In the midst of their early teenage years, they realized that they were different. Thomas hid his secret behind an impenetrable veil, but he found solace in the fact that Martha shared his secret. Martha knew that her romantic feelings belonged exclusively to women. Together, they confided their innermost thoughts to each other, forging a close friendship even though they lived far apart. While Martha worked in a London café, Thomas moved to Downton – far from family and the place where, according to his father, he brought shame upon the family. Still, he remained in contact with Martha through letters.
Meeting in Hyde Park today was a significant organizational effort, as Lord and Lady Grantham were visiting London, and Thomas, being a servant, was needed to attend to them.
Martha pulled out a lunchbox. "I know how much you love chocolate cake," she winked, handing the box to Thomas. One of the perks of working in a café – they could take home leftover treats on some evenings. Thomas accepted the piece gratefully.
Sighing, Martha watched a young couple in the distance. A little boy ran back and forth between them, laughing and fooling around with his parents. "I wish I could be like the others," she shared her dreams and desires, "The normal couples. Loving a man, getting married, and having children."
Thomas looked surprised at her. The words touched him deeply. Nothing in his life yearned for more than acceptance from society. Not having to hide behind a façade.
"Are you sure that would make you happy? To lead a life forced upon you by society? Betraying yourself?"
"Is it wrong to want a family of our own? A family we can build ourselves. That belongs to us. You said it yourself, your family wouldn't tolerate you. And mine wouldn't either if they found out I'm different."
"Martha..." Thomas spoke, searching for the right words, "Of course, I want a family, but I don't want to hide behind an illusion. I want to love the person."
"Have you ever tried, Thomas?"
"No."
"What if we do? Try it out. Maybe we'll like it, and we can build a normal family."
"You mean, we should... you know," Thomas stammered, "I don't think I should be the one."
"Who then? Thomas, we've known each other for almost a lifetime. You're my best friend and the only one who knows my secret. If we try, I only want to try it with you. It could give us the freedom we desire. Don't you want a little dwarf like that?" she pointed to the happy family.
Thomas thought for a moment before agreeing, "If you're really sure, I guess there's nothing wrong with giving it a try."
Thomas woke up the next morning in Martha's bed. He had come to the realization that, although he liked Martha in a friendly way, he couldn't make her happy as a man. The last night was probably the worst he had ever experienced. He glanced beside him. Martha slept peacefully. Thomas quietly slipped away, leaving her only a short note. The friendship that had connected them was over because he couldn't imagine maintaining contact with Martha after this night. He had disappointed her. This attempt brought nothing but exposing himself as a man to a woman, and it was clear to him that it was a failure.
End
"She was also different," Thomas revealed hesitantly.
"Mama..." Emma paused for a brief moment before whispering softly, "Women?"
Thomas nodded, "But we loved each other in a certain way – in a friendly manner – after all, you're living proof."
Emma gave him a warm smile. Many more questions circled in her mind, "Dad, why can't you love the person you love?"
"The law prohibits it."
"Then it's a very stupid law," she declared and added with determined voice, "One day it will be normal. One day, everyone will be allowed to love the person they love. One day, it will be normal for men to marry men and women to marry women."
"If you want to get into politics, you should choose a different topic. I don't think you'll succeed with that. Society won't change," Thomas doubted.
"But I can hope, can't I?" Emma's gaze landed on the wall. The spider had comfortably settled next to the mirror. "The spider is still watching me."
"Not now, my beautifully little dwarf. I'm currently enjoying the moment with you, who believes society could change. "
Emma continued to gaze at the wall, deep in thought. The spider, her quiet observer, seemed to symbolize the watchful eyes of a society that resisted change. Yet, her determination remained unshaken.
"Dad, change begins with hope," Emma stated, her eyes filled with conviction. "Even if it takes time, things can get better. People can learn to accept and understand."
Thomas looked at his daughter with a mixture of pride and concern. "You have a kind heart, Emma, and I love that about you. Just be prepared for the challenges. Not everyone may see the world the way you do."
"I know, Dad," Emma replied, her tone mature beyond her years. "But I believe in a world where love is love, no matter who you are."
Emma's words lingered in the air, and Thomas couldn't help but marvel at the courage and wisdom encapsulated in his daughter's vision for the future. Her determination to challenge societal norms resonated deeply with him, and he couldn't ignore the spark of hope she ignited.
"If you ever decide to run for office, you'll have my vote," he said with a soft smile, realizing that Emma's optimism was a force to be reckoned with.
Emma beamed at her father's words, "I want to make the world a better place for you and Mama, Dad. I want everyone to be able to love freely."
Thomas's heart swelled with pride at his daughter's noble aspirations. He gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, "You already make our world better, my little dwarf, so much better."
Did Martha want to have a child for this reason? Did she already know back then that the child would love and accept them, no matter who they were? Despite the moments when he wasn't a good father, Emma stayed by his side. Emma truly was a glimmer of hope in his life.
"Would you like to hear the story of how I met your Mama for the first time ever?" Emma's eyes immediately sparkled with curiosity as she nodded her head.
The breakfast the next morning felt strange to Emma. Thomas tried to make up for his previous slip with small, kind gestures, but no matter what he attempted, it remained unsuccessful.
"What's going on here?" Anna was the first to notice the tension between Thomas, Jimmy, and Alfred.
"James, what's the matter with you?" Mrs. Hughes asked.
"Nothing," the servant replied.
"Alfred," Mrs. Hughes pressed on.
"Ask Mister Barrow," the towering servant said. Emma glared at Alfred angrily, while Thomas, as if waking from a daze, quickly reassured, "It's nothing, really," and reached for his cup.
"It doesn't seem like nothing to me," Molesley said as Ivy brought a new tray of toast and placed it on the table.
"Ivy," Jimmy spoke, "The toast aside, but you also look very appetizing this morning."
"What did you say?" Carson asked, horrified.
"Can't a passionate man pay a compliment to beauty?"
"For heaven's sake, not at breakfast." Carson said.
Emma didn't understand this compliment at all. Wasn't it an insult to be as appetizing as a piece of toast? She had also a bad feeling, and her stomach suddenly felt queasy. The nasty maid was up to something. Mrs. O'Brien grinned triumphantly. But then Mrs. Patmore arrived and handed her – as she did every morning – the bag with her school lunch.
"See you later, Dad," Emma smiled despite all the circumstances and pressed a small kiss on his cheek. Thomas tried not to look surprised by the new farewell gesture, confident that the child had some specific purpose in mind.