Chapter Eleven
I took a shot of the sunset. The mixture of red and orange on the horizon looked absolutely beautiful. I examined the photo on my camera and smiled, satisfied with the outcome. I was about to take another photo when the camera was snatched away from my hand by the rude and incredibly entitled Alexander.
"Pakialamero ka talaga," pakli ko. "Akin na 'yan, hindi pa ako tapos."
He ignored me. He looked like he was examining the photos.
"Give me that!" He gave me a blank stare before going through the album again.
"Ugly, ugly, ugly," paulit-ulit niyang sabi habang inililipat-lipat ang mga pictures. Nag-init ang ulo ko lalo na nang makitang binubura niya lahat ng mga kuhang sinabihan niya ng pangit. Hinampas ko ang braso niya ngunit hindi siya nagpatinag.
"How dare you? Iyo ba 'yan para mag-delete ka?" naiinis kong tanong. Akala ko pa naman ay bumabait na ang lalaking ito dahil tatlong araw na kaming hindi nagtatalo. Ngunit ngayon ay binabawi ko na kung ano man ang mga naisip kong mabuti tungkol sa kanya. If only I had known earlier that he would delete my shots and call them ugly, then I would not have let him come with me.
"People always take photos of the sunset," walang pasubaling komento niya.
"Hindi ka lang marunong makaappreciate ng beauty! Ikaw, ikaw ang ugly!" I retorted angrily. He smirked at me and lowered his hand, but it wasn't enough for me to reach the camera. Instead, he pointed it on my direction.
"Smile for me, love," masuyo niyang sabi. When I didn't, I heard his hearty chuckle. "Come on, Blythe. Cooperate a bit." Pinaikot ko ang mga mata ko bago inilahad ang kamay, senyas na ibalik niya na sa akin ito.
"Quit goofing around!"
"I promise to give it back after I take a photo. Just one." He smiled. "Come on."
"I don't trust you." I said matter of factly.
"Just one shot, love."
It looked like he really has no plans of giving it back, until I relented. I growled and put on the fakest smile I could muster. I was looking directly at the lens, but my attention was caught by a teenage girl behind him who was running with a dog on a leash. The dog was chasing after a stray cat and the girl was getting dragged behind. She fell on the pond trying to keep up with the beagle, and no matter how much I tried to suppress the grin, it still escaped.
"Nice." I heard the click.
Alexander handed the camera back to me and I examined the way I look like in the photo. I was mid-grin, with my hair looking like it hasn't been combed in a week. I was about to delete it when Alexander interrupted my train of thoughts.
"You look beautiful. More beautiful than the sunset that I think it might get jealous."
"Bolero," anas ko. "Tigilan mo ako, wala akong mapapautang sa'yo." Nalukot ang mukha niya sa tinuruan ko. Isinabit ko sa leeg ko ang camera at kumuha pa ng ilang random na litrato ng mga tao sa park. I think there's beauty in the normalness of daily life. Most people take it for granted, but beauty is not that hard to find for people who know where to look and what exactly to look for.
"I'm hungry. Let's go grab something to eat," anyaya ni Alexander. Tumago na lang ako at sinundan siyang maglakad palabas ng park. Many people are eyeing him and they are not even bothering to be discreet about it. Maybe they noticed the strong aura of confidence emanating from him. He was sharply dressed in a casual attire but he still draws this much attention. I'm not even mildly surprised.
The car was parked near the entrance and it chirped when he pressed the button on his remote. The door hissed open. I was about to get in when I saw a vendor selling street food on the other side. I held Alexander by the tip of his shirt and tugged at the direction of the seller.
"Where are you off to, Blythe?" asked Alexander's curious voice which I ignored. I continued ambling closer to the fishball cart. I have been craving for this for weeks now, and I'm finally about to satisfy that craving. Alexander followed behind.
"Hindi ako sure kung magandang ideya 'yan."
"Oh, come on. 'Wag mong sabihin sa aking hindi ka pa nakakatikim ng ganito!"
Kulay asul ang pintura ng buong cart. Mayroon sa gilid na burner at kalan, kung saan nakapatong ang lutuan. Sa lutuan ay nakasalang na ang assortment ng fishball, kikiam, hotdog, at squid balls. May sticks sa gilid at tatlong sawsawan. Nilingon ko si Alexander at nakita ko ang pagkalito sa mukha niya.
"You are going to eat those UFOs?"
"What?" I queried, confused. "Ano'ng UFOs ang sinasabi mo r'yan?"
Itinuro niya ang mga laman ng lutuan. "Unidentified floating objects."
Napahilot ako sa sentido ng wala sa oras. Halatang hindi na natutuwa sa kanya ang matandang tindero dahil kitang-kita sa ekspresyon niya na hindi niya gustong tikman ang mga pagkain. "What are those floating things?"
"Alexander, hindi ko alam kung saang planeta ka ipininanganak ng nanay mo at hindi mo alam kung ano ang fishball. You are missing half of your life."
"Pretty sure I have half of my life right next to me."
I snapped. "What?"
Natatawang umiling siya. "You need to have those ears cleaned, love."
I didn't want to give what he said too much attention, and meaning, so I focused on the food in front of me. I took a stick and used it to impale the fishballs. I dipped it on the container that has the sweet sauce before I handed it for him to taste.
"Here, try it."
"I'm not sure I should."
"Ang arte mo. This tastes good, I swear," I cajoled.
"I don't want to, okay?"
"Baby boy, 'wag ka nang magpakipot. Naiinis na ako."
Finally, kinuha niya narin ang stick. Natawa ako sa ekspresyon ng mukha niya. "Mas kadiri pa ang pagtawag mo sa akin ng baby boy kaysa sa pagkaing ito." He looked skeptical about biting into it, but slowly, he raised it to his mouth and started chewing.
"So?" I waited.
He had a defeated expression on his face. "This does taste good." I grinned at him and kissed his cheek. "You win. I need another set."
"Great!" Napapalakpak ako. Kumuha siya ng stick at tinusok ang mga lumulutang na fishball sa kalan. Itinuro ko sa kanya kung nasaan ang sawsawan bago ako kumuha ng lima pang kwek-kwek. Maya-maya ay kinalabit niya ako at aktong gusto niyang iluwa ang nginunguya.
"Akala ko ba gusto mo? Bakit mukhang nasusuka ka r'yan?"
"Hindi ko alam bakit nag-iba ang lasa. Sinawsaw ko lang naman doon." Sabay kaming napatingin ng tindero sa tinuro niya at agad na napabunghalit ng tawa. Kinuha ko sa kamay niya ang stick at itinapon ito sa basurahan.
"What? Bakit kayo tumatawa? What did I do?" takang baling niya sa amin. Nagpunas ako ng luha buhat ng labis na pagtawa. Napakamot naman ng ulo ang tindero bago nagsalita.
"Sir, hindi naman kasi 'yan sauce. Pasensya na ho. Banlawan ko kasi 'yan ng sandok."
"What the..." Namumula ang mga pisnging tinignan niya ako. Habang tumatawa ay ikinuha ko siya ng bagong stick at pinuno ito ng fishball. Ako na ang nagsasaw dito sa tamang sawsawan bago ibinigay sa kanya.
"You thought that was fun?" nakasimangot niyang tanong sa akin. Tumango ako habang kagat ang pang-ibabang labi. "Hay nako, Blythe."
When we were full, he paid the vendor a 1,ooo peso bill and didn't take the change. I took a step back to admire what I was seeing because I have never witnessed this side of him before. It felt refreshing to know that he's not completely apathetic.
Maybe he is right.
Maybe I really only know a small bit of who he really is as a person.
We were silent inside the car yet it didn't make me uncomfortable. The silence felt calming, endearing even. I caught myself off guard. Since when did I use the adjectives calm and endearing when it came to Alexander? Those two words seemed out of place. I decided to ignore my weird thoughts.
"Can you drive me to my sister's place?" I asked and he replied with a nod.
"Sure. Text me later kapag susunduin na kita."
"Okay."
"I didn't know she was back in the city."
"Kanina niya lang din sinabi sa akin. Siguro tinamad na siya dahil wala siyang masyadong makakuwentuhan sa bahay dahil hindi pa umuuwi ang parents namin."
Iniliko niya ang kotse. "Where are they, by the way?" His question left a bitter taste in my mouth and I wanted to reply with a sarcastic I don't know, but he doesn't deserve that. A sigh escaped from my mouth when I said, "My parents are out of the country. They're in Sweden right now. They love travelling and immersing themselves in different cultures. Siguro ganoon talaga kapag tumatanda na, sa travel nahihilig."
Tumango-tango siya. "Yeah. I can relate to that. Wala rin palagi ang parents ko. They travel to and from the US constantly dahil may mga offices kami roon. If they're not in America, they are mostly in Europe for vacation. My siblings and I are used to it, but whenever they're at home, we try to spend time with them."
"Hey, I just remembered, ano'ng nangyari sa family dinner niyo?" It was the one I was supposed to attend a day after the birthday celebration of Roselynne's mother. But because I was traumatized and left the city for the beach, I wasn't able to attend. Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na tanungin siya kung ano'ng nangyari. He kept his end of the bargain. 'Yung groceries na ibinigay niya sa akin, naipadala ko na sa ampunan, pero hindi ko naman natupad 'yung deal namin.
"Well..." Umiling siya. "Sabi ko kay Mom may girlfriend ako ngayon. Hindi siya naniwala, of course. So, kinulit niya na naman ako buong magdamag tungkol sa mga anak ng mga amiga niya na single pa hanggang ngayon. She even suggested that I download Tinder."
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at natutop ko ang bibig. "Your mother suggested that you download Tinder?" hindi makapaniwalang ulit ko. Nakaalpas ang isang malakas na tawa mula sa akin na agad na ikinasimangot n'ya. "Wow. Ganoon pala siya kaseryoso na hanapan ka ng girlfriend."
"I told you. Iniisip niya yata na dahil masyado akong nakatutok sa kumpanya ay hindi na ako mag-aasawa."
"Tell your mother I said Bumble is better."
Pinukol niya ako ng masamang tingin at humahagikgik na tinaas ko ang kamay ko to signal a truce. Natatanaw ko na ang apartment ni Amanda kaya tinanggal ko na ang strap ng seatbelt. Inihimpil niya ang kotse sa tapat.
"Thanks for the ride," I winked. "Good luck on Tinder!"
"Blythe! I'm getting annoyed with you," he groaned. I gave him a peace sign and opened the door to go out. Before I can do that, he held my arm to stop me.
"Need anything else?" I inquired, eyebrows raised.
"I need this." He leveled his head on mine and gave me a kiss on the lips. My shoulders fell and my joints unhinged. I was slowly breaking into tiny little pieces because of the kind of kiss he was giving me. It was sweet, it was rough, it was everything, all at once.
The lost parts of my souls seemed like they were fusing themselves together.
Alexander's kiss is making me feel that despite all the gaps, I can be whole.
"I'm going inside," I murmured.
"Okay," he agreed.
I was catching my breath, looking at him, and he was intently staring back.
"Don't download Tinder..." I persuaded. I don't really want him to. I was just teasing him earlier because I wanted to find out how he would react. "Or Bumble."
"I won't," he assured me. I nodded, slightly giddy. "I already have the perfect match."
***
"Do you like him?"
"You're crazy, Mands!" gilalas na deny ko. "Siyempre hindi, 'no!" I am sitting crosslegged on her bed, with a bowl of cheese-flavored popcorn on my lap. She was sternly looking at me as she tore a pack of chips open.
"You've been spending a crazy lot of time with him since you got back."
"He's helping me overcome the trauma," katuwiran ko.
"Blythe, I'm not dense."
"And I'm not that stupid to fall for someone like him! I know he saved me, at nagpapasalamat ako roon. Pero... hindi pa rin kami bagay. We're like two chemicals na 'pag pinagsama mo ay bigla na lang sasabog dahil sa incompatibility." Isinubo ko ang popcorn at inilipat sa palabas ang mga mata ko. Umusog si Amanda palapit sa akin at iniumang ang nakabukas na chips. Umiling ako at hinila niya pabalik ang kamay.
"You know, sabi nung manghuhula puwedeng mahalin ka ng sobra ng isang lalaking Alexander ang pangalan. Now, you've met someone with that name. You seem to be enjoying his company, pero -"
"Hindi ko nga siya gusto," putol ko. "At isa pa, hindi pa rin ako naniniwala sa manghuhula na 'yon. Nagkataon lang 'to."
"Kung hindi ka naniniwala, bakit parang ingat na ingat ka ngayon? Blythe, I think you have to take the leap. Sabi ng boss ko, fortune favors the bold. You just have to be bold enough to take a risk in love."
Hindi ako sumagot. Iniba niya na lang ang topic dahil napansin niyang nag-iba na ang mood ko. Kinuwentuhan niya ako tungkol sa trabaho, kung paano tila bumabait na raw sa kanya ang boss niya, at ang promotion na inapplyan niya. I told her I was happy for her, though I still expressed my worry that she's overworking herself. She waved it off, told her it was nonsense, and that she can manage her time perfectly.
Nang makatapos kami ng tatlong movies ay nagpaalam na akong uuwi. She told me to stay until the morning, but I refused and told her I forgot to feed my fishes. The look she gave me signified she was suspicious, but I just kissed her cheek and grabbed my bag and camera. Hindi ko na aabalahin si Alexander upang magpasundo at baka lalo lang akong asarin ng kapatid ko.
"Please be safe!" kaway niya nang ihatid niya ako sa labas. "Text me when you're home, okay? And please, share mo rin sa akin ang ride details."
Tumango ako at pumasok sa Grab car. "Good night, Mands! Love you."
The car sped away into the night. It was already past 11 when I got to the condo. I entered the unit and showered before changing into comfortable pajamas. When I jumped in bed and hugged the huge pillow, it was the silence of my bedroom that seemed to hug me back. I twisted and turned, but could not sleep. I blew out a sigh and opened my eyes. It landed on the unoccupied space on my bed. It suddenly registered on me how big and incredibly lonely this bed is. For some reason, it seemed a lot bigger tonight without Alexander.
Damn you, Alexander.
I got up and dragged my pillow with me. I went outside and knocked on his door. There was no answer. I tried again. I tensed when I heard heavy footsteps getting closer. A second later, the door opened and there he was.
My heart careened.
"Blythe, love."
"You're still awake..." I trailed off.
"Hindi ka nagtext."
Napalunok ako. "Nakalimutan ko."
Dumako ang mata niya sa unang hawak ko kaya niluwagan niya ang bukas ng pinto. Tahimik akong pumasok at sumunod sa kanya papunta sa kuwarto. Nang mahiga siya ay nanatili pa rin akong nakatayo, nakatitig, nag-iintay.
"Need I scoop you up and place you on the bed myself?" he asked, smiling wryly.
"Of course not," I whispered and joined him. I hugged the pillow close to my chest and turned my back on him. I was staring at his bedroom wall, nervous, when I felt his arm wrapping around me, locking me in an embrace.
"So, you wanted to sleep next to me..." There was a light chuckle.
"No," I replied quickly. "There was a monster under my bed. I didn't feel safe."
His chuckle turned into a laugh and his laugh made me smile.
"Good night, love."