Author's Pov
Indrajith was looking at Magizh the whole night. He got to see her pain, got to hear her agonies and lot more. Her legs were swollen badly, she was rubbing her bump often as it caused her pain.
It really affected him . Staying awake the whole night made his eyes burn and eventually he dozed off around 5 am...
Even though he slept for sometime it wasn't a good sleep. His subconscious mind was awake and processing some thoughts in his mind.
Some scenes flashed in his mind and got up drenched in sweat and panting..
He looked beside him but magizh was not there. He immediately got out of the bed, went to the balcony and looked at the garden. As he guessed Magizh was there in the garden. Taking a deep breath, he went to fresh up.
He brushed his teeth and washed his face. He rushed to the garden. There he saw Magizh talking to Bruno and Bruno was listening to her patiently.
Bruno baby move panra Bruno..... Magizh was talking to bruno as he is a human. Indrajith watched this and smiled.
Bruno kept his paw on magizh's bump and felt the baby's kick. Bruno looked at Magizh surprised.
Kick pannazha.... Magizh asked him. Bruno barked in response. Magizh caressed bruno's head.
Thanks bruno.... Eduku nu paakuriya.... Enna hurt pannada Sila per la neeyum onnu...... Magizh said, her eyes welled up.
Indrajith's body stiffened hearing it.
Naa konjam naazh la illama poiruven Bruno... Enna miss pannuviya.... Enna miss Panna yaarume illa, naa oru anadhai...... Magizh said with her teary eyes but her lips were holding a forced smile like usual. Bruno as if he understood what she said he started rubbing his face on her left arm.
Indrajith turned rock hearing it. His eyes were on her but she didn't notice his presence and continued spending time with bruno.
Enna miss pannuven nu solriya... Naanum miss Pannuven unna.... Enna oru naazh kooda nee hurt pannadu illa adhuku thanks Bruno... Naa irukura varaikum I'll spend my time with you OK....... She said with a bright smile.
Ana ore oru kastham thaan bruno... En life la naa aasai patta happiness kedaikamale poga poren... Atleast this baby should get everything she wants... Take care of her Bruno..... Magizh said.
Indrajith couldn't stand there anymore. He started feeling suffocating and guilty... He went inside the home and sat on the couch...
Her words were ringing in his ears. He rushed to his room and grabbed his bike keys and went to his bike . When he started his bike, it caught Magizh's attention.
Their eyes met. Both eyes were holding different emotions. One was holding sadness and pain while the other was holding guilt and remorse.
It was magizh who averted her gaze first. Indrajith with a painful heart left his home.
Magizh looked at his back and smiled bitterly.
Nethu pesunadhuku thittala adhu varaikum OK..... Magizh thought.
Once the expectations she has on him is no more there. She just wants to live her days peacefully with good memories.
Indrajith was riding in his bike aimlessly. He wants to be somewhere peaceful. He wants to think and clear his mind.
He rode the bike to a unfamous beach. He parked his bike and went there. He looked at the waves... He slowly sat on the beach and started thinking about everything happened in his life especially about Magizh.
Indrajith's Pov
Magizhini.... I never called her by her name from my heart.... I always called her anadhai, paithiyam something like that but she has never disrespected me nor my parents.
I closed my eyes and lied on the beach sand. Since it's early in the morning it didn't feel uncomfortable here.
The day I met her for the first time stayed fresh in my mind....
That innocent eyes which looked at my home and my family in astonishment still stayed fresh In my mind.
I remember my proximity with her. She was jumping on the bed like a kid. An innocent smile was dangling on her lips that day... I saved her from falling..... Her closeness made my heart skip a beat but I deliberately avoided my feelings.
I laughed wholeheartedly after years because of her.... The way she got scared of Bruno and circled me to save her made my whole day happy.
Her presence made me go crazy. I just slept with her shawl wrapped around me one day but after that day I couldn't sleep without it.
Her scent, her closeness and all her activities grabbed my attention.
Nithya vaa marande poiten neraya naazh because Magizhini occupied my mind. So I had to forcefully keep nithya thoughts in my mind. Sometimes whenever my eyes look for her only one think pops in my mind that I'm cheating my love but now I confused about my love for Nithya.
Nithya was never like the one I want. She always dominates me... But Magizhini..... A drop of tear left my eyes.
I got up and wiped my tears. I stared at the waves aimlessly. A sense of peacefulness occupied my mind.
Seeing the waves my mind flashed a past incident.
Nithya beach poganum pola iruku polama...... I asked Nithya.
Eww mama beach romba dirty aagum why don't we go to some restaurants, long drive........ Nithya asked.
The way she said eww about beach made me little uncomfortable because I love beach...
Suddenly I remembered Magizhini's words.
Classmates beach ku appa Amma kootitu ponanganu sollumbodu yekama irukum enakum appa Amma irundurunda ennayum kootitu poirupangala nu thonum ana enaku thaan yaarume illaye..... Her words from last night popped in my mind.
I started recalling some incidents like that... Literally comparing them both... I need an answer to my confusions.
Nithya, I lost this time..... I said to Nithya.
Mamu wtf... You lost... You should have been careful...... Nithya yelled instead of consoling me.
Illa Nithya failing is also a part of life.... I tried to make her understand but she didn't..
I hate failure... If you fail accept you are a loser and I'll do what I want..... She said and left. It hurt me a lot.
Inaiku oru business deal loose paniten..... I said wrapping my hands around Magizhini..
It's ok... This is not the end... You can achieve big. I trust you...... She said looking into my eyes. I felt a spark and confidence that moment... Immediately I shook my thoughts and hurt her badly the next moment.
Mamu... Let's go out..... Nithya pulled my hands when I was about to have my breakfast.
Naa innum sapdala Nithya saptu varen..... I said.
I had my breakfast... You can have something on the way just come with me. I can't wait..... She said and dragged me out. I didn't have anything that morning.
I remembered Magizhini entering my room with a plate full of food last night..
Nithya pottu vachuko... Saree katti paaru.. You will look beautiful..... I said with an expectation to see her in traditional outfit.
Sorry mamu... I can't do it... I can't do anything as per your liking... So don't interfere in my things...... She snapped at me.
The beautiful face of Magizhini appeared infront of my eyes.
Her eyes speaks thousands of words.... I understand it but I don't wanna react. Whenever she cries it pricks my heart. I wanna rush to her and wipe her tears off but I always laid a boundary for my actions...
Now I regret why I did that.... I don't understand whether I understood her right or wrong... That day when I heard her saying that she will make me go behind her like a puppy it infuriated me but she has never done anything like that.
Her words and actions are contradictory.....
You are confusing me Magizhini..... I thought. I recalled her saying this same words to me with tears in her eyes.
A bitter smile left my mouth.
Nee enna ennamo panra magizhini.... I have never felt this way... Yesterday your words hurt me too much... Everyday I used to convince myself that you are acting but I couldn't think like that after hearing you last night.
I want to understand you Magizhini.... Enaku pudicha neraya vishayam unkitta iruku ana bayama iruku di Nithya vaa maranduten naa en love fake and its for lust nu aagirumo.....
I wiped my tears and went back home. When I reached home it was amma who approached me first.
Indrajith varen nu nee sollave illa..... Magizh thaan sonna nee nethu night eh vandutenu...... Amma asked.
Ama maa... Night ah vanduten..... I said.
Ok da kalyanam epdi nadanduchu.... Amma said. Suddenly tears started falling from my eyes.
Maa... I hugged her and cried.
I saw Magizhini leaving to the kitchen...
Ennachu da yen azhura...... Amma asked me.
I told her everything.... I closed my face and cried.
Epdi daa ipdi laa pesa thonudu.... Avanga veetu paiyana ipdi treat panna epdi irukum..... Amma started tearing too.
I closed my face and sat there. A hand landed on my shoulder. I looked up... It's appa.
I hugged him and cried..... He patted my back...
En paiyana pesitangala.... I'll face them in my way....... Appa said.
Mama..... I heard a voice. I parted from my appa.
Magizhini was standing there with a glass of water in her hand.
Avarkitta Kudunga.... She said and handed the glass to appa. Appa took it from her and handed it to me.
Utkaru Magizh..... Appa said. She sat on the couch opposite to mine.
I had the glass of water and looked at her. She didn't even look at me.
But for the first time I closed observed her.
Her face was free of makeup... She has worn just a stud, her thaali and two bangles one on each hand.
She has kept a black bindi on her forehead, clipped few strands of her hair.
Indeed she looks beautiful..... But her chubby cheeks is not there anymore..
Indrajith glass ah teapoy la vai.... Appa said and brought me out of my thoughts.
I kept the glass on the teapoy. Magizhini took it and walked to the kitchen. She is walking very slowly with her one hand placed below her bump.
She returned back to the hall. Her face is now frowned, she was blinking her eyes rapidly and she was biting her lower lip...
I looked at her confused. She sat back on the couch and rubbed her bump making painful faces.
She was muttering something but I couldn't hear it.
Indrajith... Unna ipdi pesunaduku they have to answer..... Amma got my attention afterwards but I steal glances at her.
The Magizhini I know always had her eyes on me but now she is not even looking at me. I felt a vaccum inside me.
Vaanathi, pesunadu podhum maa Magizh sapdra time aachu... Vandu sapadu podu..... Aprom Indrajith inaiku office vara venam take rest nalaiku office vanda podum...... Appa said.
Sari paa.... I replied.
We were in the dining hall to have breakfast.
I sat beside Magizhini as usual. She didn't even look at me. Her eyes were on food and she was having it.
Indrajith,.... I looked at appa up on his call.
Sapdu..... He said. I just realized he caught me looking at Magizhini. Out of nowhere a small smile appeared on my lips.
After we had breakfast.... Appa went to office. Amma kept on ranting that she regret sending me there.... But my eyes were on Magizhini who was knitting a baby snocks with a small smile on her lips.
When she completed knitting that snocks, She caressed the snocks gently, her lips smiled but her eyes.... Her eyes were expressing pain. She lifted her eyes and looked at me.
Our eyes met for a second but she averted her gaze immediately and got up from the couch.
Amma was still ranting even then.
Maa naa room ku poren tired ah iruku...... She said and left from there.
Sari Magizh... Aprom juice potu vandu koopdren....... Amma said.
Sari maa.... She said and left from there.
Amma again started her rants.
Amma podhum maa.... I have you all adhu podhum... I learnt about them and I'm trying to learn about someone...... I said and went in search of Magizh leaving my amma puzzled.
I went to her room... The door was left open and she was not there...
With reluctance I entered her room. It was simple expect the things which where already there. I went near the dressing table I just saw... A powder tin, kajal and a lip palm.
I smiled seeing that... I remembered Nithya's dressing table which is always filled with expensive cosmetics and perfumes.
Magizhini idellam paakum bodu edho thappu paniten nu thonudu di..... I thought and left to my room.
Why did I deliberately stayed blind to hurt you.....
I opened my room and I saw her sitting on the bed with her back resting against the headrest and staring at Nithya's photos.
She noticed my presence and got out of the bed...
She tried to went past me. I grabbed her hand and looked at her..
Her eyes didn't even met mine....
I wanted to speak my heart out, I want to ask her many questions but I couldn't because I was feeling guilty and words didn't left my throat. Sorry keka thonudu...
Magizhini... Sor umm... Tablets saptiya..... I changed my words.
Mmmm... She just hummed in response. I understood she is not comfortable with me by the way her hands are turning cold... I didn't want to make her uncomfortable so I left her hand and she exited my room.
I watched her leaving the room talking very small steps... Her walking is totally changed.... I don't know whether it's common or not....
Naa ungakitta tamil la solren neenga doctor kitta english la solringala... Enaku English la explain panna terila...... She said.
Muttazh solli thola...... I yelled.
Romba lower abdomen valikudu, nadaka romba kasthama iruku kaal tremble aagudu.... Back pain romba iruku.... Adikadi dizziness varudu romba tired ah weak ah iruku........ She said to me controlling her tears.
Indeed when I heard that I wanted to comfort her but I didn't because I thought if I do it would be like I'm betraying Nithya. But now I doubt my feelings for Nithya... Its making me guilty and it's making me loose my mental stability.
I held my head and sat on the bed.... I lied on it... Her scent, Magizhini's scent hit my nose..... I took her pillow and hugged her.
Enaku romba bayama iruku Magizhini.... Nethu nee pesuna aprom enaku edho mathiri iruku... Naa senjadhu ellam enna bayamburuthudu but unkitta vandu pesa bayama iruku....... Edho periya thappu paniten nu thonudu......
I cried hugging that pillow. I couldn't feel comfortable. So I opened my sleeping pills bottle and had two tablets from it.
Nee illama thoonga kooda mudila di....you changed me........ I mumbled and dozed off.
Time skip
Evening
I woke up and looked at the time. It was 5pm. Shit ivlo neram thoongitena.
I hurriedly freshed up and went to the hall. I saw Magizhini sitting with amma and chatting..
It was amma who's continuously talking while Magizhini was just replying and nodding back in response.
I went there and sat opposite to Magizhini.
Indrajith endrichutiya.... Lunch ku magizh vandu unna patha nee thoongitu irukana disturb Panna venam nu sonna adan ezhupala...... Amma said.
I looked at Magizhini but she didn't spare a look at me.
Sari iru naa poi tea potu eduthutu varen..... Amma said and stood up from the couch.
Maa naa garden la poi iruken..... Magizhini said and went from there. I thought of initiating a conversation but....
Author's Pov
Magizh was confused by the way Indrajith was staring at her often.
Yen ipdi pakuraru.... Enna pathale asingam nu thaana solluvaru....... She thought.
Magizh sensed something different in him...
Magizh yemandhu azhudadhu podhum inimelachum irukura naazh happy ah irudi... Venam avaruku avar Nithya thaan pudikum unna mathiri anadhaya illa....... She convinced herself.
Finally he made me realize that I'm an unlucky orphan....... A drop of tear left magizh's eye.
She tried to keep herself away from him gaze. When she found him staring at her continously she made an excuse and went to his room.
Staring at Nithya's photos has become an usual thing for Magizh.
I don't know what you did in your previous life akka but all the people here love you even in your absence but in my case I'm hated by him... Your Indrajith........ Magizh cried silently.
When she heard his room door opening she immediately wiped her eyes and started pretending like she is OK but when she saw him nearing her she decided to leave the room.
She want to be away from him. Specifically she is running from getting hurt.... Getting hurt by her impossible expectations from him.
When she was leaving the room. He grabbed her hand and stopped him but magizh didn't look at him.
Pakadha magizh.. You will gain new hopes from his eyes and you will get hurt again...... She was repeating it in her mind.
I'm sor...umm...tablets saptiya..... He asked.
Idhuku thaan la.... She thought and replied him with a mmm..
After that she left to her room and rested for while.
During lunch Vaanathi ask Magizh to call him for lunch. She went to his room without any choice.
She knocked on the door few times when she didn't receive any response, she opened his room door and went inside...
She found him sleeping hugging her pillow....
She looked at him for few seconds and left the room.
She informed Vaanathi that he is sleeping and not to disturb him.
In the evening when Magizh and Vaanathi were chatting Indrajith came there after his nap.
The two sleeping pills could just give him a nap and not a sleep.
Vaanathi went to prepare tea for him while Magizh left to garden because she doesn't want to sit infront of his gaze.
Indrajith didn't go behind her because he understood her.... To be honest she started understanding her emotions for the first time and respecting it.
Vaanathi came with a cup of tea and a bowl of healthy snacks.
Amma tea mattum podhum..... Indrajith said.
Idhu unaku illa en Magizh ku.... Vaanathi said and went to the garden. Indrajith accompanied her.
Indrajith and Vaanathi were only few steps away from Magizh when the front gate opened.
Everyone turned their attention to the gate. A car entered the compound...
A smile formed on Magizhini's lips.
Ajay anna..... Her lips muttered.
Ajay got out the car followed by Swetha... Magizhini's smile widened seeing them.
Magizhini started taking big steps but she couldn't.
Swetha on the other hand handed the paper bag she had in her hand to Ajay and rushed to Magizh..
Indrajith was watching Magizh's smile with a small smile on his lips.
Magizhini and Swetha hugged each other ofcourse the baby was blocking them a little still they hugged.
I missed you di... Ippo thaa semester mudinjudu. Adhan unna paaka udane odi vanduten........ Swetha said. Magizhini's eyes started tearing.
Podhum di bag ah pudi naanum Magizh ah paaka thaan vanden..... Ajay said and handed the bag back to Swetha.
En bomma anbu thangachi....... Ajay called magizh in a typical cheesy way and hugged her..
Thangachi??..... The way Ajay called Magizh made Indrajith guilty for talking so cheap about their relationship when Ajay dropped her home.
Magizh felt protective in Ajay's embrace. This made her cry loudly which frightened everyone.
Everyone got worried seeing Magizh crying like that. Indrajith was just noticing the way Magizh hugged Ajay.
A strong hug we seek when we are in a distress or when we want someone to comfort us..... Indrajith remembered himself hugging Magizh for that comfort but he also understood he failed to give her the comfort she longs for.
Magizh maa ennachu da yen azhura.... Ajay asked worried lifting her face.
Anna.... Magizh just realized what she did. Through the corner of her eyes she looked at Indrajith.
When she found him looking at her. She immediately moved from Ajay and maintained a distance between her and Ajay.
The fear in her eyes for few seconds made Indrajith realize so many things especially the way she moved from Ajay and stood at a distance from him made him realize the impact of his words on her.
Onula anna... Unga ellarayum romba miss pannen adhan azhuga vanduruchu....... Magizh said wiping her eyes. She changed her emotions and smiled.
Just after seeing her smiling others relaxed.
Adiye oru nimishathula bayanduten.... Swetha said pulling Magizh's cheeks.
Swetha first paani poori konduvandela adha kudu...... Ajay said to Swetha.
Paani poori yah..... Magizh asked in excitement.
Ama di unaku Paani poori pudikum la adan Amma kitta sonnen unakaha veetulaye prepare panni kuduthanga udane sapadu....... swetha said and started opening the food boxes.
Swetha... magizh ku mattum thana Paani poori..... Vaanathi asked.
Ama aunty only for Magizh ungazhuku kuduka koodathunu Amma solli anupinanga....... Swetha said.
Sarithaan.... Vaanathi rolled her eyes thinking about her friend Suganya.
Swetha prepared the paani poori for magizh and took it to her mouth.
But her eyes looked at Indrajith.... Seeing her hesitation Indrajith left from there.
But Magizh misunderstood this and thought he didn't like her having paani poori.
Anga enna paakura Sapdu di...... Swetha said.
Oru nimisham di...... Magizh execused herself and went to get permission from Indrajith.
Indrajith was sitting on the couch but it took magizh few minutes to get inside home and reach Indrajith.
Magizh edachum sonnalum hurt agadha....... Unaku pudicha low class sapadu kooda avar kozhandaiku pudika koodathunu nenaikuraru Ana Swetha aasaya kondu vanduruka epdi no solla mudiyum........ Epdiyachum permission vanganum..... Asingama pesuvaru, thittuvaru please be prepared to hear it........ Magizh instructed herself and entered the home. A bitter smile formed on her lips thinking about her pathetic situation.
Indrajith was sitting there holding his head.....
Naa avlo mosama nadandurukena... En munnadi casual ah iruka Matra.... The way she hugged Ajay how much she is longing to get a comforting hug but I failed to give her that........ Indrajith was thinking about Magizh.
He saw a pair of feet standing infront of him. He raised his head and looked at that person.
He knows it's Magizh...
Mag...... She interrupted him.
Swetha aasaya konduvanduta please enna sapda allow panunga.... Ava romba hurt ava naa sapdati....... Magizh said.
Indrajith looked at her confused and then he understood what she is trying to say.
Magizhini naa adukaha uzhzha varala...... Indrajith neared magizh but she took steps backwards.
Magizhini bayapadadha di... Enna paaren....... Indrajith said and held her hand.
Please enna paaru...... Indrajith pleaded. Magizh slowly raised her head and looked at him.
Naa kovam pattu varala di..... He said.
Appo sapda allow pannuvingala... Ava kastham paduva....... Magizhini requested looking away from him.
Indrajith felt heavy hearted hearing it because he knows why did she ask like that....
Un third rate cheap taste kooda en baby ku vara koodathu.... You don't deserve anything good in your life...... His own words ringed in his ears.
Sorry di...... He apologized silently seeing her.
He took a deep breath and asked....... Unaku pudikuma..
Pudikum nu sonna sapda vitamatarula...... Her eyes started welling up.
Magizhini enna paaru..... Indrajith made her look at him.
Unaku pudicha Sapdu naa eduvum solla Matan...... Indrajith said.
Magizh looked at him surprised and shocked.
With a smile on his lips he again said.... Poi happy ah Un paani poori yah enjoy Pannu..
Magizh couldn't believe what he said..
Nijamava.... She asked like a kid.
Podi poi Sapdu..... But smile like you do always........ He said.
Naa siricha thaan ungazhuku pudikade...... She said and left.
Indrajith stood there like a rock hearing her painful words.....
Hi Makkazhe.
How's the chapter... Let me know your opinion so that I can improve. Sorry enaku inaiku oru exam irunduchu I was preparing for it adan comments ku reply panna mudila but I'll definitely reply when I can.
I'm sorry there won't be any updates till 12th of this month because I'm heading to my mom's hometown which is an another state🤷♀️. Idhu sudden plan da... I wasn't expecting this.... Adan romba kastham pattu inaiku periya update kudukuren... I had an exam today ada mudichitu tired ah vanden still I typed a chapter and giving you an update. Sorry makkazhe....
Seekram Return vanduta kandipa update tharen..... Naa ippo pack panna poren early morning kezhambanum.... bye...
Seekram santhippom.
Marakama vote panunga ❤️