I can't remember how I fell asleep, all I know is that I did.
I wake up this morning with a headache and the pain in my back is excruciating. I sigh.
Today's the day I get to say goodbye forever, a day that I get to cry without being judge,a day where I have to remember the first time I did this,a day I will never forget. I feel like crying but I should save it for the show.
Today's also the day that I leave this house,I don't know for how long all I know is that I'm leaving for a while maybe forever. I sigh.
I get out of the bed,checking the time; it's 11:20am and head to the bathroom. I take of my PJs and I try to view my back through the mirror,but I can't seem to see it clearly. I run some water in the tub and get in. I wince as the water comes in contact with my back and then it calms down. I stay in there for about 30 minutes, washing my body just to be extra clean. I get out of the tub and dry my body. I brush my teeth and walk out of the bathroom.
the funeral starts by 3pm so I still have time.
I apply lotion on my body and then a healing cream on my back. The pain is excruciating. I wear my panties and bra. I still thank God the burn isn't wear I clip my bra.
I apply makeup,I never apply makeup,I see it as a waste if time and besides I'm already drop dead gorgeous. So I just line my lips,apply lip gloss,curl my eyelashes and apply mascara.
I put on an oversized hoodie and go downstairs to look for something to eat.
I enter the kitchen, it's empty, they're probably getting ready. The funeral is 3pm but we have to be there by 2pm. I grab an orange juice and head up stairs not having appetite for food. I take off the hoodie and wear my black dress
Her dress y'all
I manage to pack my hair in a perfect low bun. I wear my necklace and my ring. my knives are on my thigh; just in case and my phone is in my purse. I look at myself in the mirror and I sigh. it's gonna be a long day.
It's 1:30 and I'm in the sitting room waiting for everyone to finish getting ready.
it's 1:45 and we're already on the road. my father lectures me in the car and I pay attention,carefully.
we arrive at the place by 1:58. we get out of the car and walk into the venue. My father and mother walk in the same direction, while my brother goes to meet his girlfriend;Patrizia. They've been dating for 2 years now and I still don't like her. I liked his ex;Bianca. she was sweet,nice,polite etc. But they broke up, can't remember why,but I was sad.
I walk in a different direction from my parents and Luca. I think I'm going outside. I continue walking straight and I find my myself outside. it's peaceful and natural,unlike the fake world inside. The roses are red,the daffodils are yellow,the iris' are purple and the daisies are white. There are a lot of flowers and it's beautiful the way they are arranged.I walk in and take a deep breath. I look to my left and see a group of girls looking at me and whispering. I'm used to it so I don't care. I look away walking to a different direction. I see gardenias and I walk towards it. It's my favorite flower. I squat down before it and inhale its scent.
I stay there for a while before returning back to the main hall. I see Luca and I walk towards him,the place is crowded now. when I get to him,we both go next to mum who is next to father and we just stand there.
Father sends me a glare and I shrink.
I check time,it's 2:50. Wow,I had sent more time looking at flowers than interacting.
After shaking hands with some many people,his coffin arrives.
It is an orange colored coffin,symbolizing "gone too soon." I sigh and look down. People take their seats and so do we.
A priest walks up the podium and begins to speak.
"We're gathered here today, to say goodbye forever to a young soul. A son,a bother, a best friend; Roberto Francesco. He left this word much too young at the age of 19."
My ears begin to ring, what the freak is happening. I can't hear anything again and I'm on the verge if tears,but I hold back. after about 20 minutes of talking,we all walk out,with the coffin being dragged. We head to the garden.
My ears stop ringing and I sigh in relief. his coffin is placed at the center and we all gather around it. We stand there in silence at first until my father speaks up.
"Roberto was one of the best fighters I had ever laid eyes on. He was gifted with a strong body but a soft heart. It pains me to see that I'm saying my last goodbyes. he really was someone to never forget"
Everyone claps as he finishes
Other people also talk about my brother. People I have never seen before in my life are complimenting him.
The irony.
After about 30 minutes everyone leaves,but I stay. I walk over to where his coffin is placed and put my hand on it. I begin to cry as I remember what happened. it hurts.
"Hey there. You good? It's been two weeks. I miss you so much. My life will never remain the same knowing that your death was my fault. I love you Roberto Always and forever. Say hi to Davide for me will you. Goodbye Roberto,it's nice to talk to you, One last time. " I wipe my tears and walk inside.
Everyone stops talking as the main door opens. Stefano Salvatore walks in then with his Father and mother at his back. Everyone starts to clap. I look at him mistakenly making eye contact. I quickly look away.
Damn,that boy fineee.
shut up
but those green eyeeess!!
shut up
That jet black hair.
shut the freak up
his jaw...just kill me
oh shut up.
Stefano is not only known for being a devil,new known for his features as he is very handsome,the definition of a Greek god. He's also known for being a player,I'm not shocked.
He walks down the stairs and is now on the ground. He doesn't look like he wants to be here,neither do I.
His father walks up to where we're standing. Mr father extends his hand and they shake.Stefano joins him soon after.
"Is this the girl I am marrying?" he goes straight to the point
"yes" his father and mine both echo at the same time
he looks at me,as if he's scanning me and I look down.
"Let's go" he says immediately.
"I need to talk to her first" my father holds my hand tighten his grip.
"No you don't,now let her go,so that we'll be off" Stefano replies.
"but-"
"No buts,let her go before I change my mind and have you tied to a chair and tortured until you die" he says. My father looks scared.He let's me go,my arms red.
I hug my mother as she pecks me on the forehead. I hug my brother and he whispers "Stai attento, ok? se hai bisogno di qualcosa, qualsiasi cosa, sono sempre a portata di telefono. Ciao mia adorabile sorella. Ti vivo sempre e per sempre"(Be safe,okay? if you need anything, anything at all,I'm always a phone call away. Bye my lovely sister. I live you always and forever).
"Grazie Luca. Anch'io ti amo, sempre e per sempre" I whisper back (Thanks Luca. I love you too,always and forever).
He let me go and I walk over to Stefano not making eye contact. He grabs my hand calmly and there's a shock,like an electric wave that just occurred immediately we made contact. We walk toward the main door,leaving his mum and dad behind. We stop at a limo and he opens the door for me, I enter and he does immediately after me. "Drive" he says to the man in front.
~ Stefano's POV ~
I walk into the main hall and everywhere goes silent. I look around and made contact with one of the most beautiful chocolate eyes I have ever seen,it's her,Isabella Francesco, my fiancee. She looks away immediately and it hurts a little.
what the fuck,nothing hurts me.
I scan her and she looks scared,angry,sad and most of all,guilty. I wonder why. My father walks up to Giuseppe Francesco,Isabella's father. Her,her dad,her mum and brother are all standing together.
Her father and mine shake hands. I join them soon after
"Is this the girl I'm marrying?" I ask already knowing the answer.
"Yes" her father and mine echo at the same time.
I look at her scanning her and she looks down immediately.
That's something we have to work on,making eye contact.
"Let's go" I say immediately
"I need to talk to her first" her father says griping her hand too tight. I makes me angry,but I don't show it.
"No you don't,now let her go so that we'll be off" I say
"but-"
I cut him off"No buts,now let her go before I change my mind and have you tied to a chair and tortured until you die" I say.
He seems scared and let's her now red arm go. She hugs her mother as she pecks her forehead then she goes over to her brother and hug him too. He whispers in her ear something in Italian, I can't hear him and she whispers back. I hear "always and forever." He let's her go,making eye contact with me,his eyes saying,please don't do anything to her,she's been through so much. She walks over to me not making eye contact. I grab her hand gently and I feel something, something that I have never felt before, like an electric wave. I walk with her towards the main door leaving my parents behind because my father has issues to attend to. We get to my limo and I open the door for her on reflex.
what the fuck,I never do that,except for my mum.
I enter after she does.
"drive" I say to Leo,my personal driver.
~ Isabella's POV ~
The ride is silent,I'm looking out the window and he's on his phone.
After what seems like 20 minutes, we arrive at a mansion, his mansion. it's huge,twice the size if my house. The car comes to a stop. He gets out and I flow.
He nods at the man in front and walks towards the house. I follow at his back. We enter the house and we are greeted by a lady who seems to be in her early 20's.
" Mr Salvatore ,welcome back" she says with a smile.
"Thank you Liz" he replies
She turns to me and says" Welcome home Miss Francesco "
I just smile at her and she smiles back.
"Hey Liz,can you get me a cup of coffee?" he says
"of course,I'll be right back" she says walking away.
She's very pretty. she has blonde hair,blue eyes and pale skin. She's about 5'4 and is chubby,having big boobs and ass. My direct opposite.
I have dark brown hair,with chocolate eyes and olive skin. I'm 5'7 and slim. I have curves and a nice ass,but average boobs.
I hear someone clear their throat and I look to see Stefano looking at me
"No one told me you were gay"he says cold
" W-what,n-no,I'm not" I say stuttering.
"I'm kidding" he says
I sigh in relief not making eye contact.
He walks towards me,stopping in front of me. He lifts my head up with my chin and I make direct contact with his eyes.
"From now on,when we're talking,I want you to look me in the eye" He says sounding cold
I nod.
"Why don't you make eye contact?"
"F-father says that m-making eye contact with men shows d-disrespect and woman are l-l-lower than men and should never make eye contact" I say stuttering.
"do you stutter often?" he ask
"No" I say
"So you're just nervous" he says
and I look down.
"Eye contact" is all he says
and I look back up.
"better. Anyways,there are rules as long as you stay in this house. You're not allowed to have male friends come over. you can have female, I don't mind. you're not allowed to go out by yourself, a guard must follow you. You must train every Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays and train with me on Saturdays. You can spend money, I don't mind. do not insult the staff or my mother and you are not allowed to see another man,got it" He says sounding cold.
I nod
Liz walkings in just then with his coffee ,he takes it and doesn't even say thank you and she walks of.
I speak up" can I still help Mr Grey out in his store?"
"You don't need a job" he replies
" it's not a job,I just help him out for free" I reply
"Who's Mr Grey?"
"He's a 75 year old m-man that own a book store. I-I go there and help him almost everyday. he's like my G-grandpa" I say
"How well does he know you?"
"I've k-known him for 15 years now. A-although he doesn't know m-my surname therefore, h-h doesn't know I'm i-in the m-mafia." I say
"Okay,then that's fine. you can continue to see him,but a bodyguard will follow you" he says and walks off before I could reply.
I stand there and sigh heavily,when Liz walks in
"Hey sweetheart, let me show you to your room" she says
I nod. We go up the stairs,passing about 7 rooms before finally stopping at a door,which I think is mine. She opens the door and I gasp. There's a huge bed with blue bed spread. There's a gold chandelier,which is absolutely beautiful. The floor is black and the walls are white. There are huge windows with cottons,I'm pretty sure I can get a view from there.
"This is going to be your room darling, if you need anything, I'm always available" she says
"T-thanks you ma'am" I reply
"Oh please,call me Liz" she says
"Thank you Liz" I correct myself.
She smiles and walks out the door.
I follow behind her and lock the door. I sigh. I head to the bathroom to see what's there. There's a bathroom and a tub,I smile. I walk over to the bathtub to run water, as the water is running, I take of my shoe,then my jewelry. I take of my dress and walk into the bathroom turning of the tap. I take of my panties and bra and enter the tub. I wince as the water touches my back,then I sigh. I stay there for about 20 minutes before getting out. I brush my teeth. I forgot that I came here with just my phone,headphone,diary and purse. I walk over to a cupboard,open into and see folded towels. I grab one and dry myself.
I walk out of the bathroom. I check the closet,for clothes and I see some sleep clothes. I check for the one I like and slipped it on
I crawl into my huge bed staring at the ceiling,I let it all out. I cry. I cry so hard that I couldn't even cry again. I hurts. I just said my last goodbye to my brother. I didn't even get to spend Christmas with him. The thought of it makes me cry harder.
It's okay
no,no it's not. it hurts. he's dead.
I know love,I do.