I wake up with a head ache. it's been a week since Roberto's death.
I still can't believe it.
I've been crying,and crying and crying. He's funeral is next week.No one actually knows what really happened, we just went with he feel sick,because if we were to tell them that his Father killed him,Father will have to step down from the position of Don(Leader of mafia).
a week ago,when my father came back,I'd already cried myself to sleep. The next day I didn't feel like coming out but I was forced out. My father sent for me and I had to go. I walk into his office and I get a rush of what happened yesterday and I try not to show it.
"Yes father" I say while I hold back my tears and try not to sound angry.
"I have something to tell you and you're going to listen very carefully. Do you understand?"
"Yes father"
"We both know that I am the only one capable of being Don of this mafia,because no one else can rule with an iron fist except for me. I didn't kill your brother,that's on you. It's your fault. He was too weak anyways,do you know how many stabs I have received? yet,here I am,fully functional.The funeral will be 2 weeks from now, we will all attend. A very special family is going to be attending; The Salvatores. Marco and Aurora Salvatore with their son, Stefano Salvatore. He newly became the Don after his father stepped down because of his stroke. A discussion was held and a decision was made. You're getting married to Stefano." He says
I stand there in shock. Did he just accuse me of my brother's death? Did he just say marry Stefano? my brother just freaking died.
I don't say anything.
"You're not coming back home, after the funeral service of your brother. You will follow them to their house." he adds
Stefano Salvatore, what the actual freak. Yes he's named after the very famous and drop dead gorgeous Stefan Salvatore in the book; vampire diaries. He's mother was obsessed with Stefan Salvatore and begged her husband to name him that,and he did after knowing the meaning; Wreath, garland, crown.
I stand there,trying to figure out what to say.
"But father-" I'm cut of
"No buts. it's final,no going back. you're dismissed"
I sigh and walk out of his office,how could he?
He just sold me
he didn't sell me
oh shut up,we both know he just sold you for free,but you don't want to admit it.
for free,wow,I'm that worthless.
I go to my room and lay down feeling numb,I've just been accused of my brother's death,sold for free and called worthless indirectly all in one day. Nice
it's been a week since then and I still can't believe I'm getting married to Stefano Salvatore, the devil himself. The thought of it just makes me shiver in fear. At least now I know how I'm going to die, he'll kill me.
When my father announced it at the dinner table. My brother was furious, he tried to argue with father but I told him to stop. I can't loose him too. I look over to the spot Roberto use to sit while we ate dinner and I sigh.
Later that night,my mum came to my room and apologized. She didn't know what was going on until today and I knew that there's nothing she could do, I don't blame her. it's not her fault. She hugs me and I hug her back bursting into tears as I tell her what father said.She comforts me rubbing circles on my back as I fall asleep, that gets me every time.
I haven't gone to Mr Grey's shop in ages. He called me a few days back,wondering were I went to. I told him that I'm not feeling well and he told me to get better.
I get up and walk to bathroom. I take of my clothes and I look at the marks on my upper arm,my thighs and the visible ones on my back. I sigh and turn on the shower. I don't feel like sitting in the tub today,so I just take a quick shower. I brush my teeth and walk out. I apply lotion on my body,wear my black bra and purple panties. I decide to go all grey. I slip on my grey joggers and a grey top,it's a bit chilly out,so I add a sweater.
this is the outfit you guys
I pair this with my black and white air Jordan. I put my hair up in a messy bun, wear my glasses,take my keys and walk out the door.
I have an eye disorder,glaucoma. I normally wear my contacts,but after so much crying, I decided to not wear contacts today so I don't get an eye infection.
her glasses y'all.
I walk into the kitchen, I see my brother Luca watching something. I go over to see what,cause he looks sad. It's a video of the three of us on our mission in Hawaii. I had fallen while doing a back flip and Luca was recording it. I was laughing and Roberto was on the sand dying of laughter while Luca just recorded us still laughing,such a beautiful memory. I see him shed a tear, I clean it and kiss his forehead. He looks at me straight in the eye and hugs me. I hug me back before pulling away. I kiss his forehead again and grab an orange juice walking out the front door holding back tears.
I arrive at Mr Grey's store around 7:05am.
"Morning Mr Grey,miss me? " I say as I walk in.
he looks up and smile" Hello Isabella,it's been too long" he says
"It's been a week" I reply
"Exactly, too long. how are you? how's your cold?" he ask in concern
"I'm fine Mr Grey,I'm okay" I throw him a fake smile.
"well that's good to know"
"Yeah"
"Isabella, is everything okay?" he ask me looking deep into my eyes as if he's trying to read my soul and his tone changes to a suspicious one.
" Yes,I've just been weak. That's all, everything's fine" I reply truing nor to break.
"Your family? are they good?"
That's the first time in a while he's asking about my family, it's strange
"Yes,they're fine" I reply
"That's good to hear" he says with a smile going back to his usual tone.
"Yeah" I reply.
I help him dust and mop. I arrange the books piled up on the floor, Organize the lost and found,wipe the windows and polish his table.
"I've missed your helping hand" he says
"Awnnnn,I missed you too"I say giggling.
" When's your birthday again?,I keep forgetting. I know it's on the 8th of an ember month,I just can't remember which"
"you've yet again hurt my feelings Mr Grey" I say
"I'm sorry,I'm an old man,I tend to forget a lot of things" he says
I laugh " I understand Mr Grey, it's on the 8th of November " I reply
"November, ha I knew it" he says
" no you didn't "I say giggling
" Who told you that?" he says smirking
I laugh and he joins me.
"You wore your glasses,what changed?" he asks
" I decided to embrace the fact that I'm partially blind and let the world know it too" I reply
he laughs and I join him
We talk for about 3 hours customers coming in and going out. it's not a busy day. I ask him if it was stressful for him when I wasn't around. He says no,that it was quite alright as the customers weren't much. I sigh in relief.
After 6 more hours we close the store. I take some pictures with him and we say goodbye.
I arrived home at about 6:48pm. I got out of my car and walk in through the front door. I hear some men in the sitting room. I walk over to where out sitting room is,but the door is shut.
dammit
I try and listen to what is going on
Eavesdropping are we
oh shut up,as if you're not curious too
you know me so well,but what if father walking out,what happens then.
I blink about five times before walking away in peace.
I walk straight to my room and lock the door. I take of my clothes. I place my glasses on my table and unhook my knives from my trouser. I walk into the bathroom filling the tub with warm water. I take of my bra and panties and I get in. I soak inside for 20 minutes before getting out. I dry my body and brush my teeth. I walk out of the bathroom and wear my blue silk PJs
I love the color blue,it's so pretty.
I plop down on my bed while I remember trying to hold back tears in Mr Grey's store not less than 5 times. I told him I won't be available because I'll be preparing for my mum's friend burial. He told me it was fine and I smiled at the lie.
I can't tell him I lost my brother.it pains me that I keep lying to him,he's like my Grandpa, yet I can't seem to tell him anything. It hurts
I decide to play a song; train wreck by James Arthur;he's one of my favorite artists. he sings from the soul,I connect my headphones to my phone through Bluetooth and wear them.
I sing along in pain
"Unbreak the broken,unsay these spoken words, find hope in the hopeless, pull me ooooo-uuuu-t the train wreck, unburn the ashes unchain the reactions now,not ready to die not yet,pull me ouuuuttt the train wreck" I begin to cry as I sing.
"unbreak the broken, unsay these reckless words" I breakdown completely.
It hurts,it hurts so much. why does it have to be me.
I cry myself to sleep,it's a routine now.
The week goes by fast
Tuesday,I stay in bed all day crying
Wednesday, I had to pick out flowers for the funeral service.
Thursday, I stopped by Mr Grey's shop and handed him a latte and a packet of cream crackers;his favorite
Friday, I stay in bed
Saturday, I train all day to get my mind of things
Sunday,which is today. A day before my brother's funeral service. I'm in pain,physical ,mental, emotional all of them.
Earlier today,we were having dinner and my father was talking to me, but I had zoned out over thinking about my stay with the Salvatores that I don't reply him back. He gets up and the sound he makes pulls me back to Earth. he walks out of the dining room and into the kitchen,I wondered why. After what seemed like 10 minutes, he walked back in with a frying spoon in his hand heading towards me,I'm still confused. He stopped by my seat and touches me with the frying spoon on my back and I scream in pain trying to get myself free but he's holding me.
it's hot,he went into the kitchen and heated it up.
My mum shouts telling him to please stop but he continues. Luca tries to stop him but he pushes him away. he burns me for 5 minutes straight. He finally let's me go and I'm in pain,so much pain. My skin at my back is burned and I'm wearing sports bra so he had direct contact.
"Next time when I'm asking you a question,you answer me" he says walking away.
I run upstairs and into my bathroom. I lock the door and enter the shower,running cold water. I'm still crying from the pain. it hurts so bad. He has never done that before. it's the first time he's burning me.
I stay under the shower for the next 15 minutes before walking out. I look at myself in the mirror,the frying spoon is imprinted on my back. I sigh. I apply a cream on it and I wince in pain. I put on my PJs and crawl into bed.
Her PJs y'all.
I turn and turn, trying to avoid any contact with my back and the bed.
he's a monster
I know
he's not your father
he's done damage only a father could do.