*Jenan*
"So what are you gonna do now?" I held the phone close to my ear, listening to Emily's question.
"Stay at home, of course." I replied. I know, I know. Walking out of the building with thoughts like hey, you can stuff it! It's my decision! and now I'm like I'm doing whatever management wants. Yeah, I'm a coward.
"Jenan." Emily said impatiently. I gave the ward sister a quick nod and stepped out of the hospital. The black van was already waiting for me, in the far corner of the parking area. "You know that the boys won't accept a no as an answer. And for an unknown reason management wants you to be there too. Only not with Zayn."
"But why? Is it not a good hearing in society when you go out with a muslim girl?" I sounded bitter and I knew it was unfair to even say that.
"Jenna." Emily said softly. "We're not racists." I sighed and had almost reached the van when I heard the sound of a camera taking photos. My first reaction was to frustratedly glare at the paparazzi but then I changed my mind. I wasn't a mean person by nature, so why show the world a side of me which doesn't even exist?
I turned my face to the right, seeing the pap under a tree a few metres away. And, I don't know why, but him taking photos of me (me!) made me just laugh.
So I did laugh. Right into the camera, yes.
"Why are you silent?" Em asked. I had turned away from the pap, reached the van and opened the door. After getting in and putting the seat belt on, Paul gave me a short nod and drove off.
"Just getting into the van." I replied hastily. "But I still don't know what I should do."
"Forget about what you should do." Was her answer. "Better ask yourself what you want to do."
What did I want to do? Good question.
"What does your heart say?" Em added in a low voice.
My heart? It was silent, not willing to talk to me. "Nothing, apparently."
"You are a lost cause." Em sighed. I looked out of the window, being annoyed that they were tinted. It was strange and odd. "Let's play a game."
Huh? Play a game? "Are you serious?" I asked suspiciously, rubbing my knees. What was she up to?
"Yes. I ask a short question and you answer either with one of the two options. And it must be quick, no long thinking!"
"This is weird." I just muttered but Emily took it as a yes.
"Strawberry or chocolate?"
"Uh, chocolate."
"Quicklier!" she shooed me. "Egypt or Great Britain?"
"Egypt."
"Cat or dog?"
"Cat."
"Biology or Physics?"
"Physics."
"Movies or books?"
"Books."
"Harry or Zayn?"
"Zay— what?"
"Ha!" she exclaimed. "Gotcha!"
Terrific!
**
After a lot of hither and thither back in the van, I made a decision. It had been very clear for me that I could never accept Harry's invitation to join him at the awards. I know that best friends were supposed to do that, but after his 'love-confession' I was trying to be more cautious around him. Besides that Emily gave me a fair warning that I might 'hurt Zayn's feelings by rejecting him and accepting Harry'. Whatever that means.
But in any way, I won't allow myself to be pushed aside by management.
I had forgotten my keys, that's why I had to ring the bell. Predicting all of the boys being at home, I waited patiently till Liam opened the door.
"Hey, Jenna." He greeted me with his warm Liam-smile. "How was your day?"
"It was good." I smiled back, entering the flat. "Till now." I added in a low voice after seeing Zayn and Harry on the couch looking at me in a strange way. As if they were planning to do something meaningful.
Liam gave me a look as if he wanted to say Take care. I nodded and approached my two best friends. "Hey."
"Hi." Harry smiled, showing off his dimples and waving at me. Zayn, on the other hand, was silent. He just stood up and shot me a shy smile.
"Come with me?" he whispered, seeming not to want Harry to notice. But after throwing a short look at him, I saw him having a thoughtful expression on his face. I quickly nodded to Zayn and turned around to the stairs. At first I was expecting Harry to call after me (trying to be the first one to ask me about the awards) but nothing happened. My decision of accepting Zayn's coming invitation was certain and I didn't think that it would be a big deal to easily say: "Going to the VMAs with you? Alrighty, why not?" but now I was anxious, feeling my hands to start becoming slippery.
"Your room or mine?" I asked, feeling the need to show him that I would accept it if he wanted to enter my room. But soon he answered me with: "Mine."
As the gentleman he is, he opened the door for me and closed it behind him. I took a deep breath, inhaling Zayn's special scent which wandered around the room. My head started spinning and I heard Zayn clearing his throat.
"I'm not sure if you know," he started slowly, sat down on the bed and pointed at the spot beside him. I took the seat and laid my hands on my lap. "but we're nominated for three VMAs."
I smiled with a slight feeling of proudness and love inside of me. "I know, Zayn. Congratulations."
"Thanks," he laughed and looked down. When he looked up at me again, he was silent for a few moments. So we were basically sitting there on his bed, staring at each other. His eyes, his face.. he filled my sight and I couldn't wait till he asked the question. "Do.." he hesitated and broke eye-contact. "Do you want to come to the awards in LA as my company?"He looked at me again, hopefully. YES! My mind screamed. YES ZAYN, I TOTALLY WANT TO!
"Oh, okay." Was the thing I lastly said and I immediately felt like slapping myself. Lame, lame, lame.
"Really?" he asked me with a surprised look on his face. Obviously, he hadn't expected me to agree.
I nodded in agreement and gave him an honest smile, saying: "Sure."
Zayn's face expression immediately changed. A strange sparkle appeared in his eyes and he had a satisfied smile on his lips. His hands moved to his pocket and took his iPhone out. Keeping his eyes glued on me, he dialled a number and held the phone to his ear.
"Lou?" he asked. "You have time?"
**
"Phew! I'm down the tubes." Lou Teasdale fell down onto the creme-white couch and gave out a big sigh of relief. After Zayn had called her, she spent a lot of time collecting different dresses from which she thought I would agree to wear on the awards. It had been a difficult task at first, but I ended up trying on a totality of 53 dresses. Half of them were not my style; too colourful, blatant or just unsuitable. The rest of them ranged from being boring to acceptable to quite good. Now 8 dresses have been shortlisted. My idea was it to ask the boys about their opinion and let them choose but Lou didn't like that idea, saying it would be a nice thing to make my appearance a surprise for them. At the end we agreed on asking only Harry about the right dress but now we were too tired to lift a finger.
"We still have a lot of days left." I replied. "We don't have to choose the right dress today. Let's meet up again with Harry tomorrow, okay?" I felt the terrible need to leave this place. I think I will be dreaming of monster dresses tonight...
"Just as well." Lou muttered when her mobile phone started ringing. The call didn't last for long, and when she cut the connection, she straightened her back and looked at me.
"Uh, I have to pick Lux up, Jenna." She told me and stood up. "I'm sorry."
"Never mind." I answered her, grabbed my bag and followed her out of the room. After saying our goodbyes, I dialled Paul's number, feeling guilty about using him as my driver so often. Poor man.
But unexpectedly, Paul told me he was busy and couldn't bring me back home. He suggested that I should ask Harry or Zayn to pick me up with their cars which was a logical idea but I hesitated, not knowing who of the two to ask. I had left the building, still holding my cellphone in my right hand and decided to call Zayn when just in time, Harry called.
"Hey, Styles." I immediately picked up.
"Hey, poppy." He said teasingly, referring to the poppy flower it needed to make me forgive Zayn. "Too bad Zayn didn't teach me the poppy-trick before." He had said to me with a wink. "Maybe you would have forgiven me sooner." He still wasn't able to get over how much time it took me to give him another chance after shouting at me back when he was in America.
"Where are you?" he asked. And that was when I remembered that he still didn't know I was going to the VMAs with Zayn.
"Uh, ammm, outdoors." I stuttered, diving with my left hand in my bag in order to get the pair of sunglasses out which Zayn gave me after I told him about that directioner-girl who recognised me.
"It is quite evident." He chuckled and I gulped. "But in any way, I wanted to meet you up to ask you something important."
"Um, you could simply tell me on the phone." I suggested hopefully. Rejecting Harry on the phone would be easier than doing it whilst looking him in the eyes. It was kinda mean, I know.
"Oh." He mumbled but then added: "Okay!"
A stone started forming in my stomach and I got nervous, searching for a bench to take a seat.
"Well, I guess you heard we're nominated for the MTV Video Music Awards next week and my invitation letter said a company is welcomed so I immediately thought of you, Jen." Guilt crept into my body and for a second I wished I wasn't in this situation but then I remembered the happiness I felt whenever I thought about the prospect of going on an official ceremony by Zayn Malik's side.
"Oh, Harry." I said with a soft voice, my heart being drowned in waves of love for my best friend. "I will go with Zayn."
"Oh, um, okay." He replied, sounding .. I don't know. Normal?
"I'm so sorry, Haz." I started. "I—"
"Dear me, Jenna!" Harry cut me off, laughing. "You don't have to apologise, of course. I'm totally fine with it."
"Sure?" I asked warily and played with the ends of my scarf.
"Yeah." He replied and I could hear the smile on his face. "It was just that I thought it would be cool to go there with my best friend instead of a random lass, you know. That's all. But I can understand why you accepted Zayn's request; you both will make a really good match." This made me sigh in relief, knowing that Harry was obviously not upset at all. Thinking about his last words, Zayn and me being a good match made my tummy jump and excitement fill my body.
"Okay, Styles. But your opinion is deadly needed in finding the suitable dress." Said I after chasing away the feelings inside of me.
"With pleasure!"
**
"Jenna?" I heard my name being called from downstairs. "Lou is at the other end of the line!"
I almost threw away the book, hopped off the bed and ran out of the room. At the bottom of the stairs, there was Niall with the phone on his hands.
"Thanks." I whispered breathless, took the phone and drew it towards my ear, turning around to go upstairs again. "Hello?"
"Jenna, sweetie, thanks God you are here." Lou Teasdale sounded rushed and scampered.
"Uh, yeah, I'm here." Was my confused reply. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it.
"I need your help!" she said. Behind her I could hear the sound of loud traffic. "Lux' babysitter is ill and I have an urgent appointment in about half an hour, could you please please look after my little girl for a while?"
Spending time with cute baby Lux? That could do nothing but draw a huge smile on my face. "Of course I can, Mrs Teasdale."
"Lou." She corrected me not for the first time and immediately added: "Thank you so much, my dear. I will be at your flat in minutes!"
"I'll be waiting." I replied and ended the call when I heard Niall calling me again. This time, I closed the door of my room behind me and walked downstairs instead of running.
Niall was standing beside the door, putting on his denim jacket. "Jenny, I'll leave."
"Oh, okay." I knew the boys had a day off, that was why Louis was at Eleanor's, Liam with a friend of his, Andy, and Harry at the tattoo parlor's. Zayn had shut himself away in his room since a few hours and I haven't set my eyes on him. And Niall was just leaving.
It took Lou exactly 2 and a half songs to get here and I welcomed Lux warmly in my arms. As fast as Lou appeared, she disappeared again.
At first, everything went perfectly. I played with Lux, fed her and sang a few 1D songs for her but a few hours later she started crying and sobbing and whatever I did, she wouldn't stop. When I realised I was unable to cope, I went upstairs with the crying girl in my arms and hammered on Zayn's door.
When he stuck his head out, I gave him a stern look and yelled over Lux' continual whimpering: "Hey, are you deaf?"
"Oh." Was all he said, looking from me to the toddler and back again. "I see you need help."
I rolled my eyes, making him grin, and turned around to the stairs. I could feel him following me and downstairs he took Lux out of my arms. I felt rejected and jealous when Lux immediately stopped as soon as he embraced her, and Zayn made it even worse by smirking at me with victory in his eyes.
"She seems bored." He said after a while and suddenly stood up. "Go change your clothes, I have an idea."
**
*Zayn*
"The zoo?" she asked, staring at the large gate infront of us. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, seriously." I replied and went to buy us tickets. The zoo was not really crowded and that was good.
"Sooo," it came from me. We were in the penguin-house and Lux in Jenan's arms was clapping wildly with a large smile on her face. "I just wanted to make clear that if you want to go to the VMAs with Harry instead, it will be fine for me." Of course it won't be fine for me but I didn't want her to come with me only because I asked her before Harry did.
"Zayn, what are you saying?" she asked and gave me a stern look not for the first time today. "I agreed, so I will go with you. Period." My stupid heart jumped and my body started shivering. I looked down at the girl beside me, who had her eyes now fixed on a fat penguin which was clumsily waddling around. She was close to me but at the same time unreachable. It was ironic! Of all the girls out there I could easily have, my heart had to choose this one beside me. Knowing that a relationship with Jenan was nothing more than a dream hurt me.
Did she have feelings for me? Or was I just a friend to her?
"Jenna?" I asked, my heart telling me to go on but my mind was confused. "I l—"
"OH MY GOD, ZAYN MALIK OVER THERE!" I heard somebody screaming and saw a blonde girl at the entrance of the penguin-house pointing at me.
"Let's go!" I hissed, grabbed the strap of Jenan's handbag and pulled her after me to the backdoor. Outside, I hesitated a moment and then took Lux out of Jenan's arms. "What's the matter? Do you think she is going to chase us?" she asked me, anaylising the situation.
"I hope not." I haven't quite finished the sentence when I saw a bunch of girls screaming and running towards us. "Come!" I yelled and we started running, behind us I could hear the girls calling and screaming.
"ZAYN, I LOVE YOU!"
"GIVE US SOME OF YOUR TIME PLEASE!"
"MARRY ME, ZAYN MALIK."
"YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM THAT UGLY $%&# ! YOU DESERVE BETTER!" the last comment made me wince and I threw a look at Jenna's face beside. She had a neutral expression and didn't look back at me.
We ran out of the zoo and after a few metres, we could finally outdistance them.
"Jenna," I said breathless. "I'm sorry, this—"
She interrupted me with only shaking her head, avoiding my gaze. "Let's go home."