She fell first he fell harder is a trope that holds indescribable emotions for the female protagonist. The angst, the anxiousness of never knowing if her love will be returned, the stolen glances, the hidden admiration expressed from a distance, being in the same room and yet feeling miles away. This is the story of Meerab who fell first and was alone with her one - sided love for a while before Khan Murtasim Khan finally fell harder.
This is not fair was a constant chant in Meerab Waqas Ahmed, no, Meerab Murtasim Khan's life since her marriage. She had to leave behind her dream of becoming a criminal lawyer, distance herself from her foster parents in order to maintain a semblance of sanity and worst of all, live in a house full of people who were ready to put constraints on everything she did.
As if this wasn't enough, Haya's existence was the cherry on top. She never failed to remind her that she was supposed to be the rightful biwi and Meerab was just a blunder, an error, a temporary glitch and she would soon snatch her husband from her. Meerab couldn't wait for the day honestly. She would be free, free to do what, return where were questions she didn't ponder about. But it surely felt nice to imagine days where Haya wasn't there.
Since she had put the condition of them not sleeping together and made her husband sign a contract, it had been smooth sailing with him. This didn't mean that he didn't make any attempts of flirting with her, any moment, any chance he got - he would try to disarm her with his charms. She was a little immune to them thanks to her university experience, where her friend turned nightmare Rohail constantly tried to flirt with her and she turned him down countless times.
But with Murtasim, it felt different. It was like he effortlessly said what he said and he meant it. It was home and comfort and all things good. It was like the warmth which engulfed you when you held a cup of chai in your hands in the freezing winter, it was like reading a book which stayed with you and you never feel the same again - for the better.
In times when she felt alone, she had found him to be her rock, fighting for her against the world. His responses in defense of her weren't diplomatic, he took a firm stand and didn't think twice before doing so.
Her walls that she had built around herself were crumbling. It wasn't a pleasant experience to find out that had started having feelings for her husband. The dam of emotions broke when she realized that Haya's presence wasn't irking her because she was annoying, it was because she didn't want Murtasim to pay an ounce of romantic attention to any woman who wasn't her. Murtasim liked her, she was sure of that, but she loved him and she didn't want this to be her ruin.
I wrote this based on a request for one-sided love of Meerab by a reader. I might make this into a mini series but this chapter was meant to explore the emotional vulnerabilities she might have experienced.
Happy reading!