Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA
***TW for abuse***
From the diary of Odette Vautour, age 8
A boy saw Basse knock me down in the hallway at school but my brother made it look like an accident because he was running to class but it was NOT an accident because Basse thinks it's funny to push me down all the time. The boy's name is Heroux Alarie and he helped me up and handed me my two library books that had fallen. I didn't know someone could be nice.
"I can no longer use the first-year excuse to attend events alone," Heroux said to me one night after he'd finished with me and called her name. He hadn't disappeared into the bathroom as he always did to shower off the remains of me from his body. Instead, he watched as I pulled on my robe, clumsy in my movements because his eyes were focused on me.
Many vampires who felt a strong connection to their wives wanted to keep them in seclusion the first year, until feelings calmed and settled a bit. It was a primitive throwback to our beginnings, when a vampire might have to fight another for his donneuse.
As women, we might not like that; as vampires, we understood and were willing to appease the volatile Hunger who could become unstable with his woman in view of other vampires who might try to take her. The Hunger could not be reasoned with when there was a blood bond.
Of course, Heroux had denied me a blood bond when we'd married. When we were filling out the paperwork, I'd looked over at him, hoping against hope that he'd surprise me.
"For the blood bond?"
"No. Never." He'd packed so much hatred into those words, I could feel myself blushing in shame for asking.
Tonight, he was telling me my year in seclusion was over. I'd known it was getting close after he'd sent his beautiful secretary to help me buy a few dresses last week for whatever events were coming up that required Lady Alarie.
Thinking he was done imparting that bit of information, I grabbed the money he'd thrown down on the end of the bed and headed for the door.
"Vautour," his cold voice stopped my retreat. "Make sure you're ready by eight tomorrow night. I've asked Trilla to organize a team to help turn you into someone who looks worthy to be Lady Alarie."
I knew I was the only one in my husband's sphere who wasn't beautiful, who wasn't someone to look at with appreciation. My family always referred to me as a sparrow among swans. "Odious the Ugly," they called me. When Trilla had helped me shop for some evening dresses, she hadn't said too much to me, but I was grateful she hadn't been mean and, as beautiful as she was, she hadn't mocked my looks even though she easily could have.
After leaving his room, I walked to mine, discouraged and disheartened that my year in seclusion was coming to an end. It had been, without question, the very best year of my life. I was happy every day until Heroux had to feed and release, but even that didn't matter as much as I thought it would. He'd need to work a lot harder to be as cruel to me as my family had been.
Since Heroux would never allow my family to come onto his estate, I'd been blissfully free from their poison for three hundred sixty five near-perfect days. When I'd first married him, I'd let my phone run out of power and then shoved it in a drawer so they couldn't try to reach me.
My husband's ten-thousand acre estate was full of wonderful places to explore, horses to ride, trees to climb, gardens to wander, mazes to navigate and not one but three libraries in his mansion. There were paths for bike riding and walking, kayaks or canoes I could take out on one of the property's ten lakes, and there was always food I could take with me on my rambles -- I was never denied food here, nor was it ever blocked from me by servants following orders.
I'd also discovered the seven follies on the property and since they were secluded and unused, I had decided to make them mine for the three years I would be living here as Heroux's wife. I turned one into my journal folly, and I left my journal there behind a loose stone I discovered. It was a folly built over one of the lakes and was a soothing place to write. I had a folly where I read only mysteries, a folly for reading thrillers, and a folly whose walls were covered in climbing roses for reading romances. One folly was dedicated to deep thinking when I needed to be alone with my thoughts and one folly was so ridiculous, I made that my one for playacting. I would pretend I was different characters from the romances I read and would act out scenes as the heroines to the applause of thousands.
I'd never been so free and happy in my life. I was left alone and after a lifetime of being tormented and ignored and sneered at by just about every person I came into contact with, it was heaven to not have to see anyone except the servants and Heroux -- and my husband I saw only half an hour every day. We didn't eat meals together, so I saw him only when it came time for him to feed and release.
Every morning after I ate breakfast, I'd grab a picnic lunch, some snacks and drinks, put them in a backpack I'd found in my closet and head for the draft horse stable. Apparently, the Alarie estate had several different stables -- one for the saddle horses, one for the Akhal-Teke horses he bred, and one for the draft horses. It was to the draft horses I usually went because they'd been trained to pull an old-fashioned, two-wheeled sulky. I'd learned very quickly, with the help of the stablemaster, how to harness the horse, hitch up the sulky and how to drive it. Now, I drove my little cart all over the grounds and somedays we flew and other days we kept it to a slow trot, depending on what I felt like doing. What I felt like doing was such a liberating concept to me. I had the power to choose. I had the power to make decisions, even if they were just small ones like that.
"They haven't had such workouts in a long time, Lady Alarie," Fabrice said. He was normally a dour vampire, perfect as a stablemaster, but occasionally, I would get a half smile from him. But never would I get my first name from him or any of the staff; I was only and ever Lady Alarie.
So, on this day, the last day of freedom I had, my heart had sunk when I saw it was four-thirty. No one had told me when Trilla and team would be by to work their magic, but I figured I better be home by six. That would give them two hours to attempt the impossible of making a sparrow into a swan.
I walked in the door just before six and found myself faced with Trilla and team...and Heroux.
"Where have you been?" His eyes flashed his anger, but his voice was controlled.
"Out driving a sulky. Is something wrong?"
"You knew we had to leave at eight tonight."
"Yes. That's why I came back at six. To get ready."
His gaze raked over me with contempt, but he kept his voice calm and low, just for me. "It will take longer than two hours."
He turned to Trilla. "Have her ready in two hours."
I bit my lip as he walked away, feeling all the joy of the past year turn into dust. But somehow, the hair, makeup and nail geniuses accomplished the impossible after Trilla practically threw me into the shower, and at seven fifty-five I was staring at myself in the foyer mirror, waiting for my husband. My spirit was soaring -- I'd never looked this good in my life, and the high heels gave a bit of height to my five foot two inch frame. The black dress was sleeveless with thin straps and was draped in the back. My hair had been swept into an elegant updo and my makeup minimized my beaky nose and actually gave me cheekbones. I kept peeping at my fingernails which were nude, but thrilled me nevertheless because I'd never had my nails done before and they made my hands look elegant, I thought. From head to toe, I felt like a princess.
When Heroux came down the stairs, he had a jewelry case in his hand and he looked at me, then back to the team anxiously awaiting his verdict.
"She'll do," he said to them approvingly, and I could see them all give a collective sigh of relief. "Next time, I'll make sure you have more time. Thank you all for your efforts."
Knowing that was their dismissal, they left, and he turned back to me. "Your first public appearance tonight requires the Alarie jewels. Trilla advised me that emeralds would work with this dress."
He clasped an intricate emerald necklace around my throat, a bracelet around my left wrist and waited while I put in the long, dangly emerald earrings. He handed the case off to the butler and walked out the door, expecting me to follow. I did, waving goodbye to the staff who were around.
My husband helped me into the limousine, then seated himself beside me. We didn't speak a word, so I still had no idea what tonight's event was or where it was being held.
We pulled up to what I knew was an exclusive hotel, and Heroux got out and then held his hand out to me. Placing my hand in his, I stepped out of the limo and then he tucked my hand into the crook of his arm and we walked inside to a luxurious ballroom, where people...swarmed us. There was no other word for it.
"The bride of the Alarie at last!"
"Congratulations, Lord and Lady Alarie."
"The bride emerges from seclusion! What a monumental day!"
And so on.
I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the outpouring of good wishes, but hope my face remained calm and serene. After an hour of accepting congratulations, Heroux gently disengaged my death grip on his arm and spoke into my ear.
"I need to go speak with some people. Go mingle, and remember, for the time being at least, you are a reflection of me."
Message received. Behave. Don't do anything untoward and unbecoming of an Alarie.
He stepped away from me and I wanted to run after Heroux because he still represented safety to me. Not two minutes later, my family found me and began their fake and extremely painful greetings. Every one of them came up, and pinched the underside of my upper arms hard, twisting the skin painfully, sometimes cutting into it with their nails. But I knew better than to protest or cry out or even wince from the pain even though the wall of them around me prevented others from seeing what was happening. To outsiders, it would look like a happy family reunion.
"Why haven't you been answering your phone?" my father hissed at me, while smiling as if he was delighted to see me. His pinch was one of the worst ones yet.
"I lost it," I lied.
"Have your extremely wealthy husband buy you a new one. I need to be able to reach you so you can do some things for me."
"He...he doesn't want me to have a phone," I lied again, trying not to shake.
He looked at my mother. "Give me your phone." He slapped it into my hand after she handed it over. "Answer when I call or you won't find the consequences pleasant."
My mother was the last to faux hug me while pinching my arm. "Do what your father says, Odious. It's about time you became a useful asset to the family instead of a liability."
"He's headed this way," my brother said, and I knew he was talking about Heroux. No one else would register on their radar. They faded away, not one of them asking how I was or how I'd been.
Fortunately, before he reached us, someone stopped Heroux to chat, so I headed in another direction. I wanted to go to the bathroom to clean up the tiny trickles of blood on my arm, but I was afraid to go where the vultures could corner me. Stopping one of the serving girls who was about to go into the kitchen to refill her tray, I asked if there was a restroom for employees. She nodded and I followed her, so I was able to clean up the blood quickly and in peace, as well as dunk my mother's phone in a sink full of water and then throw it into the garbage.
Heroux found me not long after I emerged from the bathroom.
"My business here is done. It's time to leave."
"Good," I said a little too enthusiastically. "Let's go."
Once again, he tucked my hand into the crook of his arm, and led me out of the ballroom and into the limo. When we walked into the house, he told me to be in his room in five minutes. I quickly shed my shoes and my gown, carefully removed my jewels, wrapped up in my bathrobe and hurried to his room.
As always, he fed from my wrist.
As always, once he closed the wound in my wrist, he immediately moved over my naked body.
As always, he took my wrists and pressed my hands to either side of my head.
As always, he released with me and called me by her name.
And that's where as always stopped for the night.
It never occurred to me that when he pushed my hands to the sides of my head, he'd see the underside of my upper arms. So tonight, when he slid from my body, he didn't move away from me.
"Vautour, what happened to your arms?"
My family, that's what happened.
I just kept my eyes averted.
"Answer me," he demanded.
I couldn't. How could I tell him that he wasn't the only one who held me in contempt, but my own family also did -- and added a physical element to it?
"Did you do this to yourself?"
At that, my eyes shot to him, horrified that he could think I would mark myself in such a way.
"Then who?" He thought a moment. "Your family were the only ones I saw you speaking with."
My eyes looked away.
"I want the names of everyone who did this to you."
"No." It was an automatic reflex; I'd learned not to tell tales about anyone in my family because the retribution was brutal.
"You will not defy me in this, Vautour."
"Why does it even matter?"
If you say because I matter to you, I'll tell you.
"Because temporary though you are, you are still my wife. The wife of the Alarie is not to be trifled with in any way. By hurting you, they are showing a lack of respect for both my position and the power I hold. That I will not tolerate."
Of course. It had nothing to do with me.
That thought, and the thought of all the pinches and nasty threats hissed in my ear tonight, made me do something I'd never done before in my life. I stood my ground.
"I won't give you any names."
"So protective of the vultures," he sneered at me.
No, I'm protecting myself. If you retaliated against them, they would retaliate against me even worse the next time they saw me.
"You'll save me time by just giving me the names."
"It's your choice how you choose to spend your time," I said to him evenly.
I couldn't believe that had come out of my mouth. If I had ever dared speak to my father like that, I would have been knocked to the ground with the back of his hand. But Heroux just pushed himself away from me and got off the bed, completely unconcerned as always with his nakedness. And then there was me: rolling off the bed, scrambling for my robe to shield my body from his gaze.
As always.
"I expect you to do as I ask," he said coolly.
"I'm sorry, but in this case, I can't."
"So protective of your family."
No, I'm protective of me!
"Good night," I said, defeated.
It was the first night he'd forgotten to throw money on the bed for me.
I didn't know it then, but that night shifted everything.
As always was about to change.
Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA