Ashtray's POV
It's been four days since Mia's last visit, she hasn't spoken much since. I mean she doesn't talk on a usual basis but she'd still give out slick ass comments, instead she just keeps zoning out.
I guess she needs space or maybe she was just embarrassed about crying in my arms. I been wanting to talk to her but I'm low-key scared of her, if you've seen her you'd be too, she's intimidating as fuck.
We were currently in the prison's cafeteria and once again she hasn't touched her food.
"I could feel you staring." Mia stated, her attention was still focused on the book in her hands. She was sat across me, I guess I was zoning out starting at her.
"My bad" I apologized.
"Yo Mia." Tess called out but she didn't respond. "Mia?" She called again still nothing. "Bro?"
"What?" Mia finally answered.
"Well never-fucking-mind" Tess said surrendering.
"You okay?" Amber questioned.
"Yes." She replied.
"You don't look okay." Amber remarked. Mia's was puffy and she had bags under her eyes like she's been crying herself to sleep, her hair is covering most of her face but you can tell if you stare enough.
"I am, just tired." She obviously lied, attempting to brush it off.
"I heard you and your girl broke up" Tracy intervened a smile spread on her face.
"Here we go again." Amber sighed as she face palmed.
"I was just casually on my way to clean the visitation room when I heard them arguing—"
"—Tracy." I called cutting her off.
"You're always in her business." Amber pointed out.
"I just care." Tracy shrugged. "She can act like she doesn't know me but at the end of the day we're still cousins so."
"We're not cousins Tracy, your words." Mia stated calmly.
"Wayment." Tess chuckled. "Cousins?" She's questioned shocked, as I was. They're nothing a like, zero resemblance between them, both in appearance and personality.
"Yep, my mom's niece" Tracy confirmed.
"Anymore information about me you wanna put out there?" Mia questioned.
"She for real Mia?" Tess questioned
"Y'all are completely different." Amber pointed out.
"It's normal she grew up boujee when her dad's a whole gangster," Tracy chuckled, trying to provoke a reaction. "Well, until he dropped it all for her boujee ass mom," she added. "They moved to some white-ass neighborhood, that's why she's so whitewashed...with her big-ass vocabulary and shit. I know you guys noticed that she never said not one curse word since she got here. But she's just fronting, she's nothing but a fucking slut."
"Whoa" Tess, Amber and I said in unison but Mia remained silent, her attention focused on the book in front of her, unfazed as if she was used to Tracy talking about her like that.
"The fuck is wrong wid ya ass for real?" Tess questioned.
"What?" Tracy chuckled. "She's a fucking slut just like her fucking mom." She retorted. "Seduced my uncle into getting her pregnant, you probably not even his kid for real." She added and Mia chuckled." Mia even tried to seducing my dad—"
"You can insult me all you want. If putting me down makes you feel better, go ahead. But keep my mom out of your mouth," Mia finally spoke up, her attention still on her book.
"What you gon do?" Tracy challenged.
"Keep talking and find out." Mia challenged, and the tension was rising up.
"Okay guys calm down now." Amber said.
"Everyone around you always leaves. Even your own mom, the one you defending used to beat the shit outta yuh ass, I guess she knew you're were cursed child since day one. You ruin everyone and everything around you, you came to my house seduce my dad and accused him of molesting you when my mom caught you in the act. You're none but a fucking slut and I'll repeat it, just like your fucking mom. It runs in the blood even your brother messed with a girl who had a whole ass nigga that's why they shot his ass, well deserved." Tracy continued, without saying a word, Mia closed her book abruptly, placing it down on the table. She stood up, her eyes locked with Tracy's.
"Well deserved?" Mia repeated.
Mia's POV
Tracy, her sister and her mom made sure my life was living hell, starve me, beat me, harassed shit even touched where they shouldn't.
They said they'd take care of me after taking me from foster care since they're the only supposedly family I have since my grandparents disowned my mom. Tamisha, my supposedly aunt, had all rights on me, made me drop out of school and made me her personal slave instead.
My last straw was when her nigga tried to touch me, she saw everything, she saw me fighting him off and she stood there, watched him rip my clothes off. I had to use all my strength to get him off me and ran out that house as fast as I could.
I ran till I couldn't anymore and I never looked back. I was homeless five days after that.
Now she got me fucked up. At the mention of Mike, I saw nothing but red.
"Well deserved?" I repeated as I got up so did she and Amber along with Tess and Ashtray.
"Mia she's not worth it." Amber said getting stepping between us.
"Move," I calmly demanded, my eyes fixed on Tracy.
"Let the bitch have it I wanna see what a pussy like ha can do." I chuckled thinking bout the things I can do to her. "Crazy ass bitch."
"Amber I said move."
"I don't want you to end up in isolation calm down she just trying to get under your skin." Amber pleaded still in between us.
"Mia seriously she's not worth it." I heard Ashtray say as they gently grabbed my arm. For an uncertain reason it calmed me down.
Taking a deep breath, I reluctantly relented. "Fine," I said, my anger subsiding slightly. I was about to sit back down, when suddenly Tracy pushed me with unexpectedly. I stumbled and crashed into a nearby table, sending food flying everywhere. Oatmeal ended up in my hair.
My hair???
Oh, she is so dead.
I found myself laughing uncontrollably, as I stood up, covered in food, I brushed off the mess from my clothes.
"Shit's about to go down" Tess said shaking her head.
"Where the fuck are the guards?" Ashtray questioned.
"I don't know." Tess replied.
"Why'd you do that?" I heard Amber questioned, I walked up to her and held her by the throat. All could see was red, full with rage I just wanted her dead.
"Mia let her go." Ashtray pleaded but I couldn't. I tightened my grip, ignoring their pleas. Tracy gasped for air, her face turning red, as the rest of the inmates chanted "kill her", their trays banging against the tables.
The panic in their voices only grew louder, Ashtray's urgency piercing through the chaos, "Mia, seriously, let her go before a guard shows up. Please, Mia, stop. Let her go."
The weight of their pleas finally broke through my anger, and I released my grip. Tracy crumpled to the ground, coughing and struggling to breathe. The room fell into an eerie silence, the tension thick in the air.
"Keep fucking with me Tracy and I'ma forget we're blood related." I warned walking away.
"What's going on here?" I heard a guard questioned.
"Tracy attacked Mia, all she did was defend herself." I heard Amber lied.
"Really, Amber?" Tracy's disbelief echoed through the room as the guard swiftly took her away, escorting her to what I suppose is isolation.
As the adrenaline began to subside, a wave of unease washed over me. My heart raced, my breathing irregular, and my vision blurred. I tried to calm myself down, but the lightheadedness grew, my head spinning.
"You okay?" Ashtray questioned.
"No." I managed to blurt out before everything went black
_______
I woke up, feeling disoriented and my vision still blurry.
"You're awake? Good now someone else can have the bed." I heard a woman say. She helped me up my head was still spinning but eventually I caught myself. "Your blood pressure dropped and you do need to eat and rest more Mrs Jackson, this may be prison but take care of yourself." She continued.
After a while, a guard escorted me back to my cell. As I entered, I noticed that it was empty. I laid down on my bed, putting my arm over my eyes, trying to block out the sun.
Time passed, and then I sensed someone's presence. I have my little idea who it was, they didn't say nothing they just stood in front of the cell.
"You gon just stand there?" I questioned.
"I thought you were asleep." I heard Ashtray's voice say. "Are you feeling better?"
"Kinda," I replied, sitting upright.
"You scared me, you know," they stated.
"Really?" I asked, curious.
"I thought I was gonna lose you."
"You were scared of losing me?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah," they replied, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"You barely know me," I reminded them, and they let out a sigh.
"I know, but—never mind,"
"What did the doctor say? What happened?" they asked, trying to change the subject.
"Nothing important," I responded dismissively. "You can sit, you know," I stated, gesturing to the edge of the small bed. They took a seat.
"Why were you scared of losing me? I'm always mean to you," I questioned, genuinely curious.
"I kinda like it, to be honest," they admitted.
"You like me being mean to you?" I asked, raising a brow.
"I'm used to people being nice to me all the time, telling me things I wanna hear and not what I need to hear." They explained. "Maybe if I had a friend like you, I wouldn't be where I'm at today."
"Maybe if I had someone who truly cared about me I wouldn't be where I'm at too but I guess everything happens for a reason." I said.
"I care." They said meeting my gaze.
I wanted to believe them but it was hard to. Growing up with your own mother who hated your guts and reminded you everyday how much she did. That shit does things to you, adding the things she used to say to me. I started to believe that I'm truly curses and was meant to be alone.
When I found out Leah was cheating on me it made me feel even worse. She told she loved me so many times, I believed her like a dumbass because I was desperate to feel loved.
"I really do," they stated, their voice filled with genuine concern. "The other day when you were crying in my arms, it made my heart ache because you seemed so unfazed and nonchalant. Whatever made you cry must've hurt a lot, and knowing you were in pain made me hurt too because I couldn't do anything about it."
"You did help me feel better." I reassured them. "I felt better till I talked to Leah. I can't believe that bitch had me crying my guts out like that. I haven't cried that much since I was seven when my mom cursed the shit outta me over a some clothes." I admitted.
Yea I know I said don't curse but there's no other adjective that defines her, I hate her so much right now, so let me have it.
"I'm sorry" They said softly.
"For what?" I questioned. "It ain't your fault."
"I know but I know nun of em finna apologize for what they did to you." They explained.
"Thank you..." I responded reluctantly.
"Oh I got sum for you." They reached into their pocket and pulled out a bag of M&Ms, handing it to me.
"Thanks" I smiled taking it, never the one to refuse sweets.
"You have such a pretty smile."
"Look who's talking," I blurted out, unable to hold back a smile of my own. "I mean, it's cute or whatever," I added and they chuckled.
"Is it that hard to be nice to me?" they teased.
"I thought you liked it?" I playfully asked.
"I do, it turns me on," they responded, their words catching me off guard.
"And they say I've got no filter," I said, shaking my head in amusement.
"That wasn't supposed to come out," the embarrassed.
"It's okay," I chuckled, trying to ease the tension. It was endearing to see them get flustered.
I don't know if it's because I'm single now but Ashtray's kinda fine, and the wolf cut suited their perfectly framed face. They looked Asian but Hispanic at the same time.
"What's your ethnicity" I questioned, genuinely curious.
"Half Asian, half Caucasian." They
relied.
"Asian as in...?"
"My mom's from Lao." They responded. "Why?"
"You kinda look Hispanic."
"I get that a lot, it's the brows and the hair." They explained.
"I guess" I shrugged. Their hair and eyebrows are pretty thick and dark.
"Well, I should probably get going before a guard catches me here," they said, standing up. I mirrored their actions, standing in front of them, just inches away.
"We weren't doing anything," I quickly responded, frowning at the implication.
"This isn't my cell, so..." they reminded me, their voice trailing off.
Before I could say anything else, our conversation was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. We both turned to see Amber standing in front of the cell, with Tess right beside her.
"Am I interrupting something?" Amber questioned, her tone filled with curiosity.
"Ye—"
"No," Ashtray cut me off, taking charge of the situation. "I was just about to leave so Mia could rest."
"I'm not tired," I stated firmly, not wanting anyone to worry about me.
"Are you feeling okay?" Amber asked, concern evident in her voice.
"Good," I replied, trying to assure them.
"You said 'kinda' a couple of minutes ago," Ashtray pointed out.
"A couple minutes ago, I'm good now." I shrugged.
"You're so stubborn." They frowned clearly not convinced. "You literally fainted a couple of hours ago. You need to rest."
"I told yuh ass was finna drop one day if you kept starving yourself like that." Tess chimed in.
"I didn't faint because I was starving myself." I stated. "My blood pressure dropped because of how mad I was. I had times I haven't eaten in months and I never fainted before it's not a couple of days who'll make 'drop'."
"months?" Tess, Amber and I questioned in unison.
"Yes." I replied.
"Why would you purposely starve yourself for months?" Tess questioned.
"You got an eating disorder or sum?" Amber added.
"No." I replied.
"Then why would you do that to yourself?" Tess questioned
"No appetite." I shrugged.
"So you're never hungry?" Tess asked raising a brow.
"Not since I was nine." I responded. "Well I never feel hungry I guess my stomach stopped letting me know she needed fuel since I wasn't giving her any."
"You gave your stomach a gender?" Tess asked giving me a confuse look.
"That's what you worried about?" Amber asked Tess. "Why weren't you eating." She questioned, I sighed and sat back down on the bed.
"Cause I ain't had nun to eat." I muttered.
"Oh—" was all Amber said.
"Well shit." Tess blurted out. Just as Ashtray was about to finally speak up, we were all interrupted by a loud bang on the cell door.
"A gang meeting?" We all turned to the voice to see a guard standing there. "Lee, this isn't your cell."
"See y'all later," Ashtray sighed, before heading out of the cell.
"Later," we all said in unison, before they left.
"Only Jackson is allowed to stay in the cell. The rest of you, back to work immediately," the guard commanded, Tess and Amber reluctantly left the room along with the guard.
I laid back down on the bed, feeling a mix of exhaustion and frustration, and let out a deep sigh.
I can't wait to die.
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