Lovely Uzziah
Thursday.
It's just the same as yesterday. I still haven't got enough sleep, my eyes are swollen, I felt like having a dark moon-shaped under my eyes and I'm one of the zombies to be honest.
Function? How to function?
Magagalit ba ang nescafe kapag hindi ako bumangon ngayon?
I groaned. I'm alone in my house so no one will growl at me to stand up even though I'm nearly late for my class today.
If this is a hell-week for students because it's their final examination, well to me, it is too, not because of exams but because of stupidity in love. I feel like hell, feel like I'm under the earth's core. This is what love makes people, huh? It sucks to all the sucking suckery suckiness inside my chest.
Broke. Dumb. Vulnerable. Pain. Useless. I feel useless.
I covered the blanket all over my body and hid myself in it as if there was someone out there looking for me.
Just give me a minute to process everything, that I still have a life outside this so called Love. But what if my life and my love is in that one person?
Ugh! Ruined.
"Couz!"
I'm hallucinating am I? Naririnig ko si Nervana. Tsk.
"Ziah!"
Ngayon naman si Natalie. Bakit ba hindi ako tigilan ng dalawang ito kahit saglit lang?
"Ouch! What the—" Usal ko sabay balikwas ng katawan at napabangon bigla sa pagkakahiga.
May naramdaman lang naman akong bagay na tumama sa ulo ko. Libro!
"What the hell?! Who did that?"
"Oh my goodness! Look at you!" Natalie's nose flared with what she sees in me. What is it in me?
"Couz, ano ba iyan? Mukha kang zombie na tuyot." Komento pa ng isa. Naconcious ako sa sinabi niya at dali daling humakbang pababa ng kama para magtungo sa banyo at icheck ang sarili sa salamin.
Fuck. She's right. What kind of face is this. Hindi pa ata ako nakakapagtanggal ng make up sa mukha simula paguwi ko kagabi and I still wore my blouse yesterday. Oh my god, disgusting shit!
"Ang kalat!" Sigaw pa ni Natalie sa loob ng kwarto. "What the hell are you doing with your life, Ziah?! You drunk, you stink, you look...my goodness! You really looked like a zombie!" Ramdam ko ang pagkairita at pagiinarte ng boses niya. Natawa si Nervana sa sinabi nang ate niya kaya hindi ko maiwasang hindi mapahilot sa sentido ko. Naramdaman ko bigla ang pagsakit ng ulo ko dahil sa puyat at sa ininom kong wine kagabi.
"Go fix yourself, kami na ang maghahanda ng gagamitin mo. And make it faster, we're going to be late!" Dagdag pa niya.
Tinalo pa si Mommy kung makautos at magalit.
Wala na akong nagawa kundi sumunod. Ano pa nga ba? It's Natalie. Her authoritativeness is overflowing.
I pushed myself in my shower room and didn't even bother to turn on the heater again. The coldness makes me awake eh.
After a while, I get out of my bathroom and head outside with my bathrobe hugging my body.
Nakita kong nakaupo si Natalie sa dulo ng kama ko habang nakakrus ang mga braso at binti with her usual stoic expression on her face.
Nervana on the other hand was busy reading her notes and textbooks. I'm sure her sister told her to review while waiting.
Malinis na rin ang buong kwarto ko hindi na katulad nang kanina.
They both looked at me with the same expression in their eyes. Concerned or pity? I don't even know. I'm always like this and I feel weaker every time I see my reflection in their eyes.
"Magbihis ka na. We're almost 10 minutes late. Mabuti na lang at kami ang may-ari ng school kung hindi napagalitan na tayo." Natalie's voice lingered, it somehow stiff but there's a hint of softness in it that she rarely uses.
Tumango lang ako at kinuha ang mga gagamitin kong hinanda niya at nagtungong muli sa banyo para magbihis.
I also did my make up and dried my hair. I looked up in the mirror to see my reflection. I look fine outside but my eyes would lie because I'm not fine inside.
I managed to smile but it didn't reached my eyes. Bumuntong hininga na lang ako.
"You done?" Bumukas ang pintuan at iniluwa nito si Natalie.
Napalingon ako dito at ngumiti. "Yeah, let's go."
"Wait," Napahinto ako at nagulat sa sumunod niyang ginawa. She hugged me.
Natalie who has no time to express her feelings suddenly...hugged me?
Am I too fragile to look at? Am I that lovesick woman who's hopelessly crave for love that never leaves but it leaves anyway? Am I that frail?
I breath her scent with a shudder before composing myself again. "I'm fine, Natalie. This is nothing. I was just having a hard time about my businesses and school stuff. Kaya ako napainom kagabi but I'm fine."
She breaks the hug and narrowed her eyes at me. "You do great at lying. If I didn't known you since childhood I would believe you."
My throat thickened as I swallowed. "I'm not lying," a lie. I shook my head. "I only looked like garbage lately but I'm really fine. I was just caught up with a lot of work." a lie again. "Let's go? We're late, right?" I plastered a smile at her at nauna nang lumabas sa CR dahil nararamdaman ko na naman ang pag init ng mga mata ko.
"Come on, guys! Chop chop!" I said with my jolly voice while clapping my hands at nagtungo sa desk ko kung saan kasalukuyang nakapwesto si Nervana para kuhanin ang mga gamit ko.
I smiled at her. "Huwag ka na magpretend na nagrereview ka." I winked at her after that.
She rolled her eyes and sigh then picked her things up as well. We immediately left my room.
"Sasabay ako kay Couz." Saad ni Nervana at tumapat sa sasakyan kong nakaparada.
Tumango lang ang ate niya at mabilis na pumasok sa sasakyan nito at nauna nang umalis.
Once we left my house ay nagsalitang muli si Nervana. "So I've heard,"
Nanatiling nakatuon ang mga mata ko sa kalsada at bahagyang napahigpit ang kapit ko sa manubela. How can I forget?
"Of course," I chuckled wryly. Of course she had heard it. She knows everything after all. She's my living newscaster.
"I'm sorry you have to go through this—"
"Nah, it's totally fine. I'm used to someone leaving." I tried my best not to sound dramatic but I don't know what I sounded like right now because I only hear my own heart beat right in this moment. Shattered beating.
She heave a sigh and sat up properly while she look outside the window like she's thinking. "What if we take a break after this semester? Let's have a short vacation! Ako na bahala mag asikaso ng lahat. Sasama ka na lang." Nervana looks at me hopeful.
Nakarating na rin kami sa school at nakapagpark na ako. "I don't know yet. I'm busy. We have business running." I removed my seatbelt as I turn off the engine. Lumabas na rin ako at sumunod na rin si Nervana.
Naglakad na kami patungong building kung saan ang office ko at ang classroom niya. Kaya sabay pa rin kami hanggang makarating kami sa hallway.
"It'll run itself. It's not like we're having a vacation for a year, Couz! Don't worry, I'll take care of everything and I take no for an answer!" She bumped her shoulder to me before running away while waving back her hand at me for a good bye. Her smile showed as she winks at me until I can't see any trace of her in this huge hallway that I'm currently stuck.
I suddenly heard a clearing of throat behind me. A familiar vanilla scent that sticks in my nose. I suck a breath as I felt my shattered heart slowly mended back into its shape just because of her presence.
What a joke, my heart. You're a traitor to your owner.
I didn't bother to look back. I held myself still as I walked away from her and went into the elevator on my own. Napakapit ako ng mahigpit sa bag na hawak ko matapos kong pindutin ang 6th floor kung nasaan ang office ko at pinagmasdan ang unti unting pagsara ng pintuan.
"Wait," tuluyan nang nanghina ang mga tuhod ko ng biglang may pumigil sa pagsara ng pinto ng elevator. Napasandal ako bigla sa pader nito at napakapit sa railings. I did my best to breath properly as I watched her enter inside while looking at me.
Umiwas agad ako ng tingin at nagdesisyong suotin ang shades na dala ko sa bag. I tried my best not to be affected by her presence as she pushed the closed button of the elevator we are in. Wala siyang pinindot na ibang numero kaya nagtaka ako.
"You shouldn't be here. You exactly know what this elevator was meant for. Students have their own elevator to use." Seryoso kong usal at tumayo na ng tuwid at pinagkrus ang aking mga braso. I didn't bother to look at her beside me.
She just stares as she leans herself on the wall, her both hands in her pocket. Nakaharap ang buong katawan nito sa akin. "I apologize for the inconvenience, Ma'am. Late na po kasi ako at under maintenance ang elevator for students."
"And so? It's not my fault that you're late. Students like you should be responsible for their time especially it's your final examination. What an irresponsible act." Umiling iling ako. Disappointed of the fact that she's late when it's her exam week. What if hindi na siya payagan ng professor niyang itake ang exam dahil late na siya? Edi apektado ang grades niya at alam kong ayaw niyang naaapektuhan ang pag-aaral niya.
Pansin ko ang pagtiim bagang niya matapos kong sabihin iyon. Her forehead creased as her brows furrowed with it. I can sense her frustration already.
She scoffs offended as she brushed her fingers through her smooth hair in an upward motion. I slowly swallowed the imaginary lumped in my throat.
I can't believe I just said that to her. Siguro dahil naiinis ako sa nararamdaman ko sa kanya at hindi ko rin matanggap na we're over? I don't know, gosh! Mali.
"Sorry po PROFESSOR Adler ha? Hindi na po mauulit. Hindi na po ako makikigamit ng elevator at makikisabay sa inyo. Pasensya na po ulit, with respect." She said with a little sarcasm in her tone. Emphasizing my title. I shut my eyes behind the glasses I'm wearing.
Pagkasabi niya non ay saktong pagbukas ng pintuan ng elevator. Nauna na itong lumabas nang may mabibigat na hakbang. I sense the guilt running through my veins as I held my breath to follow her outside the elevator.
I watch her walk with heavy footsteps while she heave a deep sigh.
Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko dahil sa pagsisisi. Bakit naman kasi ganoon na lang ang reaksyon ko?
Sinundan ko lang siya ng tingin habang naglalakad ako patungong office ko. Hindi ito nag abalang lumingon muli at hindi na ako umaasang lilingunin niya ako sa kabila ng ginawa ko kanina.
Nang makarating ako sa tapat ng opisina ko ay sinundan ko pa rin siya ng tingin at nakita kong nagtungo siya sa Student Council's Office. Ano kayang gagawin niya doon?
Hindi ko na inabala pang isipin mabuti iyon dahil late na nga rin pala ako at may klase pa akong pupuntahan.
What an irresponsible act, Lovely!
***
I heard a knock on my door. I was busy checking my students' test papers lately this morning.
"Come in," I said in nonchalant. I rested my forehead with my available hand while continuing to check the paper in front of me. I didn't mind to look who was knocking at my door.
"Lunch?" Napaangat agad ako ng tingin sa nagsalita.
"Kailan ka pa natutong kumatok?" Tanong ko rito at inilapag ang ballpen na hawak ko sa lamesa.
She just rolled her eyes at me. "Just now, obviously." She entered inside and headed directly in my waiting area. She sits on the couch and places the paper bags on my coffee table.
I smiled and left my things on the table and sat across Natalie. "You're getting sweeter." I teased.
Her face grimaced. "I just don't like eating alone at the cafeteria. There are a bunch of students there, it's too noisy." She explained.
I chuckled, "Fine, fine. Thank you for the treat!"
Tumango lang ito. Tinulungan ko na rin siyang ilabas ang mga pagkain sa paper bags at inihain na iyon para makapagumpisa na kami sa pagkain.
"How's your day?" Tanong nito sa akin habang kumukuha ng chicken curry at inilagay sa kanyang kanin.
I sigh, "Fine." Tipid kong sabi at sumubo na ng pagkain.
She just eyed me.
"What? It's really fine. As in, fine that I ruined someone's day." Bumuntong hininga ako matapos kong sabihin iyon at kumain muli.
She stops eating and crosses her arms while lifting her eyebrow at me. "Is that someone we both know?"
I looked up to her and stop my mouth from chewing. "Yeah?"
Bigla niyang hinilot ang sentido niya. "I sort of ruined that someone's day too."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "What do you mean?" Napalunok ako at napainom na rin ng tubig habang hinihintay siyang magpaliwanag.
"Let me just confirm if we have the same someone that we're talking about, Is it Zamora?"
Tumikhim ako sabay tango. "Y-yeah, what did you do?"
She sighs before speaking, "Well, she's a little late than me. Kaya hindi ko siya pinagtake ng exam—"
"What?!" Napasigaw ako sa sinabi niya.
"Gosh! Lower your voice, will you?!"
"I'm sorry, why? Why didn't you let her take your examination?!"
"Simply because she's late! I don't like late students, especially it's their final exam which is the most important part."
"I know but—"
"Yeah, I know I ruined her day. I didn't even bother to check her excused letter that was authenticated by the Dean and Student Council's President because I got mad at her irresponsibility to my subject and also to you."
"Huh? What?"
Huminga ito ng malalim at hinawi ang mahaba at itim niyang buhok patalikod. "I know you two became a thing and then broke up." Her voice stiff but I just let out a huff. Of course she knew, malamang nagkwento si Nervana.
"That's why I got worried about you for what she did because how dare she?!" Tumaas ang kilay nito.
"But anyway, this morning, she's late and all. I can sense that she's not in a good mood when she came to my class. I didn't give her a chance to enter the room and told her not to expect taking a final exam in my subject. She just looked at me emotionless and tired that time then left the paper on the floor without saying anything."
Bigla akong naawa sa nangyari sa kanya. She looks tired? What was she doing?
"So basically, she's having the worst day?" I asked her, talking clearly to her.
"Indeed but we can still change that I guess."
"I don't think I can help you with that. I started off bad this morning to her. I don't think she'll like it if I'm involved."
"You should help me! As you said, you started it first!"
"Natalie—"
"Come on, Ziah! You wanna know why she's late?"
Magrereklamo pa sana ako kaso narinig ko ang sinabi niya. Curiosity takes over me. "W-why?"
"She's currently taking over their company because of her father's health condition. She's also the one who's taking care of him. And earlier...her b-best friend. Argh! that loud girl just came at me to scold me because I didn't let her take the exams! Tsk. Ang lakas ng loob niya."
I coughed, trying to hold back my laughter. So it's because of Borja kaya siya nandito at nagpapatulong sa akin.
Kaya pala may palunch na nagaganap. But what caught me was the fact that she's tired handling everything on her own and I have the audacity to tell her she's irresponsible. Is that the reason why she broke up with me? But why didn't she tell me about it? I can fully understand her if that's her reason. But hey, it's because she's married, right? That's the hard truth.
Napasapo agad ako sa noo. This is bad.
"We're doomed." Ayun lang ang nasabi ko.
"I know," Napasandal ito at napahilot na rin sa sentido niya.
***
I'm sitting here alone at a restaurant with my shades on for a disguise. I covered half of my face at the menu book I'm holding in front of me to hide.
I'm watching her having a corporate meeting with some people in business suits, three to be exact. Hindi ko mapigilang mag-alala sa itsura niya. She's like struggling to focus and she looks really tired.
Sinundan ko siya after school dahil hindi nakayanan ng kosensya ko ang ginawa ko kaninang umaga sa kanya. Natalie on the other hand, successfully gave her a chance to take her exam and here I am, hoping that I can apologize to her personally that's why I followed her.
I sigh. My poor baby.
"Ma'am, can I take your order?" Nagitla ako sa pagsulpot ng kung sino sa gilid ko.
I cleared my throat, "Oh, Uhmm...I'll just take pesto."
"Alright, how about your drinks, Ma'am?"
"I'm fine with service water." I faked a smile dahil istorbo siya sa pagmamasid ko. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang magpasalamat at makaalis na ang waiter.
Medyo kinabahan pa ako nang bigla siyang napatingin sa gawi ko kaya dali dali kong itinakip ang hawak kong menu sa buong mukha ko at umayos ng upo.
"It's been a while, our darling Xyianne. How's your father?" Rinig kong tanong ng matandang lalaking puti na ang buhok ngunit matikas pa rin ang itsura.
Sumilip kasi ako ng kaunti para icheck kung nakatingin pa siya sa gawi ko, mabuti na lang at hindi na.
"He's still in recovery but he said he's strong enough to get back to work." She said in nonchalant while shaking her head, maybe because of what her father said.
Napatawa ang tatlo niyang ka-meeting, ang isa ay mukhang nasa age 25 pataas, katabi niya ito sa kaliwa at kanina ko pa napapansing nakatitig lang sa kanya at hindi matanggal ang ngiti. Should I erase that smile myself? Tsk!
Ang isang matandang lalaki namang maputi ang buhok ay nasa kanan at ang isang matandang lalaking may katabaan ay sa tapat niya.
"He's really that stubborn even with you, huh." Napailing ang matandang maputi ang buhok.
"Yeah, he is. Totally." Sinang-ayunan niya iyon at ngumiti ng maiksi.
"I really like you, hija. You kinda have an open mind and wise. You're all serious just like your dad but you have humor that he doesn't have unfortunately."
Komento pa ng isang matandang mataba habang tumatawa.
"Dad," suway ng binata. So tatay pala niya iyon.
"It's okay, he's kind of like that." Sabat niya pero alam kong hindi na siya natutuwa sa usapan. Akala ko ba corporate meeting bakit parang personalan lang ata ito?
"Anyway, hija. I'd like you to meet my son. He is Gilbert, he already graduated and is currently a successful accountant, handsome obviously just like me and has a huge crush on you."
"Dad! Goodness!" Napamaang na lang ako sa natutunghayan ko. Really? In front of my empty table?! Nasaan na ba ang order ko? Ang tagal bigla akong nagutom.
Tumawa lang ang dalawang matanda sa labis na pagkahiya ng binata. Namumula pa itong ngumiti sa kanya habang kumakamot sa batok.
Sarap magdabog. Pero yung walang karapatan version.
"I'm sorry about that," Saad ni Gilbert na hindi na maalis ang mata sa kanya.
She smiled at him. "It's okay," she said at sinadyang humalumbaba gamit ang kamay niyang may singsing. Kumirot na namang muli ang puso ko dahil sa nakita.
"Wait, you're married?!" Hindi makapaniwalang usal ng binata na nakapukaw ng atensyon sa dalawang matanda.
"Uh, yep." Saad nito in her calm and proud voice. How can she manage to be calm in this kind of situation? Dati lang ay naiinis siya agad kapag may nagtatanong sa kanya ng personal. She's really a new person now.
"Ouch, that was it Dad. Hanggang crush na lang ako." Lungkot na sabi ni Gilbert.
I'll crush your face if you want.
"Oh my poor son, I see, you're too late. Who's the lucky guy, hija?"
She plastered her genuine smile when they asked her. I see that she's really happy about her marriage. Is it really my brother? I thought she hated him? She told me that in front of my face or maybe it changed now because of what happened...
My chest tightened trying to hold my breath. I feel my eyes are about to tear up dahil sa nasasaksihan ko. She's happy without me and I should be happy too, right? But why am I feeling in pain?
Kasabay nang pagsasalita niya kung sino iyon ay ang saktong pagdating ng server sa table ko.
"Here's your order, Ma'am. One pesto pasta for you!" Masiglang bati nito sa akin kaya hindi ko na narinig ng maigi ang sinabi niya. Nailapag na rin nito ang order ko at nang makaalis ay nakatitig na lang ako sa kanila.
"...that's the name." Ayan lang ang naabutan ko. Abot tenga ang ngiti nito habang kumikislap pa ang mga mata niyang nakikita ko lang noon tuwing nakakasama ko siya but it's the other way now. Someone made her like that and that's not me.
Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang luha ko sa pagtulo. I immediately wiped it behind my glasses.
Hindi makapaniwala ang mga mukha ng tatlo at napaawang na lang ang mga labi.
"Oh..." Komento nung Gilbert.
"Siya ba yung anak ni Louis?" There, I confirmed. It was Lewis, my brother whom she told them she married. Hindi pa kasi ako naniniwala noong una. Pero ngayon naniniwala na ako lalo na at nabanggit ang pangalan ni Tito.
Hindi ko na natiis pa ang labis na sakit na nararamdaman ko, hindi na rin ako nag abalang kainin ang inorder kong pagkain. Nag iwan na lang ako ng pera bago tuluyang lisanin ang lugar.
Ayoko nang marinig pa ang kwentuhan nila. What kind of meeting is that? Tsk.
Padabog akong nagtungo sa sasakyan at sinarado iyon nang may kalakasan.
I'll just message her my apology. I can't bear to see her personally. My heart still aches for her and it forever will. Mukhang tutulad na lang ako kay Natalie.
Nang makaalis sa parking ay nagulat ako nang bigla kong makita sa rearview mirror ko na lumabas siya sa restaurant na parang may hinahanap. Nagtama ang mga mata namin pero alam kong hindi niya ako nakita. Ibang sasakyan rin ang ginamit ko para hindi siya magkaroon ng ideyang nakasunod ako sa kanya.
I removed my shades nang makalayo ako sa lugar at pinasibad na ang sasakyan pauwing muli sa bahay para magmukmok at uminom ng wine mag-isa.
"Oh my—Van, ano ba?! Papatayin mo ba ako sa gulat?!" Napahiyaw ako dahil pagbukas ko ng pintuan ay siyang bungad niya sa akin. Nakatayong nakapamewang at may pagtaas pa ng kilay.
"Where have you been?" Salubong niya.
Nilagpasan ko ito para tuluyang makapasok sa loob nang makarecover ako sa gulat. "Restaurant."
"Uhuh, Anna told me you weren't there." Sinundan niya ako hanggang sa makaakyat kami sa kwarto ko. Ipinagkatiwala ko na rin kasi kay Anna ang pagiging manager sa coffee shop at restaurant kapalit ng taas sahod niya, triple.
"I didn't say it's my restaurant." Walang gana kong sagot. I removed my coat and my pants, leaving me with just my tank top and underwear, not minding my cousin's existence in my room.
"Then, Where? Did you follow her?" I stopped searching midway in my closet when she asked that but I just shrugged and continued what I'm doing until I chose a big white tee to change.
"Couz, you should've told me. Sinamahan na sana kita." Nakita ko itong nahiga sa kama ko habang nakatitig sa kisame.
"You don't have to do all the work for me. You should instead enjoy your own life and besides I'm done chasing her." Malumanay kong saad matapos kong tanggalin ang tank top na suot ko at ipalit ang malaking t-shirt na kinuha ko sa closet. "Tanggap ko na." I tried my best not to cracked my voice but I failed. Pero hindi na rin ako umiyak. Pagod na.
Napabalikwas ito sa higaan at naupo na lamang habang seryosong nakatingin sa akin. "You're just tired, Couz. I know you don't mean that." Umiling iling ito ngunit nginitian ko lang siya at naupo na akong patalikod sa kama ko.
"It's true, I'm tired..." of everything. Hindi ko na dapat siya sinundan, masasaktan lang pala ako lalo.
"Then take some rest. I'll be right here if you need anything." She taps my shoulder before heading out of my room and closes the door.
I sigh, feeling all various emotions at once. I buried my face on my pillow and scream against it. No tears left to cry.
After that, I get my phone and message her for one last time. I don't know if she'll ever read this but this is the least thing I think about.
My Babyloves:
I'm sorry about earlier.
I didn't mean to speak
to you like that.
You're not irresponsible
and I'm proud of you.
Please be happy.
I changed her name in my contact list as X.
Ex? Hays...
I turned off my phone and put it on the table beside my bed and take my time to rest for a while. My right arm is place above my forehead while the other is resting on my stomach.
I watched the ceiling for a moment. The memories from our first kiss here at this exact location comes flashing back right in front of me.
"I appreciate your imperfection, Ma'am."
Fuck.
I shook my head to erase the thought and force my eyes to shut down. I opened my mouth to breathe in and out as calmly as possible. It's getting heavier.
"Couz!" Nagulat ako sa biglaang pagpasok ni Nervana sa kwarto ko at mukhang tuwang tuwa pa ito.
I groaned. "What?" Medyo asar kong tanong dahil nagdadrama pa nga ako eh.
"Yay, what's with the grumpiness?" Maarte niyang saad. "But anyway, baka mawala yang kasungitan mo." She smiled from ear to ear.
Kunot noo ko lang siyang pinagmasdan at napagdesisyunang tumalikod sa kanya. Wala akong panahon maging masaya ngayon.
"Tsss. Come on, Couz. Someone sends you something. The delivery rider is waiting for you outside. Hindi daw ako pwedeng mag received non dahil hindi ko daw pangalan iyon."
Napaharap ako dahil sa sinabi niya. Delivery? I didn't order anything!
"Baka wrong address lang yun. Wala akong inoorder online. Paalisin mo na yun, baka scam yan." Inangat ko ang comforter hanggang sa balikat ko at napapikit nang muli.
"Nervana!" Hiyaw ko ng hatakin niya ako sa paa. "Ano ba? Isa!"
"Tatayo ka dyan at kukunin mo iyon o hahatakin kita pababa ng hagdan?"
Pumadyak ako dahil sa inis, dahilan rin para matanggal ang pagkakakapit niya sa paa ko. "I told you, wala akong inoorder at wala akong inaasahang kahit anong darating! Kapag iyan, scam lang. Pagbubuhulin ko kayo nung nagdeliver!"
Tumayo ako padabog na lumabas ng kwarto. I was having my me time oh.
Narinig ko ang bahagyang pagtawa ng pinsan ko sa likuran ko kaya lumingon ako sa kanya bago bumaba ng hagdan. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin kaya nawala ang ngiti sa labi niya.
"Go na, my gosh! Nagkakapalit na kayo ng ugali ni Xyianne!"
Muntikan na akong mahulog ng isang baitang dahil sa nabanggit niya.
"Careful," Pero agad niya akong naalalayan.
"Tsk." Usal ko at sabay bitaw sa pagkakahawak sa kanya.
"See? Sungit. You're being like—" she zipped her mouth then surrendered her hands up when I glared at her. Banggit ng banggit paano ako makakamove on?
Asa.
Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad patungo sa gate ng bahay ko habang nakakunot ang noo.
I unlocked the small door of my huge gate and peak my head outside.
There, I saw someone waiting outside with a helmet on, wearing all black from head to toe. I couldn't recognize if it's a man or a woman, balot na balot. But what caught my eyes and made my mouth fall open was that one thing that the rider is holding.
I heard Nervana's clapping behind me. "Isn't is so pretty? Ang ganda, Couz!" Halata ang pagkamangha nito.
The rider went to me and gave the huge bouquet of rainbow roses. Yes! Rainbow!
All I can say was...It's so freaking exquisite! I have never seen a rose like this!
My heart suddenly warms with unexpected joy. My smile never falters as I grab the bouquet with my hands. I suddenly blush when I finally see it in front of me.
"This is...beautiful. Wow!" I leaned my face to smell the rainbow roses and it smells good! It smells like authentic roses.
Nanatiling nakatayo ang rider sa harapan ko. Hindi ko maaninag ang itsura nito dahil sa suot niyang helmet na tinted pa ang salamin. Hindi rin ito kumikibo but I still hold my gaze. "This is from whom?" Tanong ko dito.
"May card ata, Couz." Singit ni Nervana at lumapit pa para ipakita sa akin ang card na nakasiksik sa bouquet.
I was about to say thank you sa nagdeliver pero nakasakay na ito sa motor nito at nagstart na ng engine. The rider look back at me and nodded before leaving me speechless.
It's kinda...weird? Hindi man lang nagsalita?
"Couz, tara pasok na tayo." Yaya niya at hinatak na ako papasok sa gate dahil nakatulala lang akong pinagmasdan ang papawalang imahe nung nagdeliver.
"Let's see kung kanino galing! My gosh! Ang ganda talaga. Sana ol may secret admirer!" Litanya pa niya at excited na naupo sa couch dito sa living room ko.
She taps the space beside her and grins while looking at me which I'm still holding the huge bouquet of rainbow roses in my hands.
I sat next to her and got the black card attached to it then I opened it and read the contents written.
Kumunot ang noo ko dahil nakaekis ang unang phrase na:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I smiled and continued to read it.
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Roses are rainbow
Just like the colors of the afterglow
You remind me of these colors
With your existence, a flower could bloom
With your beauty and personality, my heart goes boom
Please bear in mind that you are the shimmering arch of the living light in my life. -··- -·-- --··
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"Shit, that was a hard core!" Napatakip sa bibig si Nervana matapos niyang mabasa ang nilalaman ng card.
Me, I'm fucking speechless.
Who the hell send me this flower with this kind of letter?!
Is it Dexter? But no, he can't be. It's pretty clear to him that we're just friends and nothing more.
Is it...her? But absolutely no, why would she? She's too busy for this kind of stuff. I just left her in a meeting.
So who?
"Do you have any idea who gave this?" I turned my head to face my cousin. Her face a little surprised as I looked at her.
"Oh, uhm, I don't know? That's why I called you because it's not mine. I have no idea who gave that. Even the rider didn't say anything." She swallowed after saying that which made me think if she's telling the truth or not.
I eyed her, "Van,"
"I swear, I have no idea!" Pambubwelta pa niya.
Hinilot ko ang sentido ko. Wala man lang kasing kahit anong name or initials but there are these symbols written after the letter but maybe it's nothing.
Bumuntong hininga ako.
"Hindi ka ba masaya? It looks so pretty kaya! Nakakainggit."
"Sayo na lang?" I offered.
"No!" Bwelta agad niya na ikinapitlag ko. "I mean. Why would you give it to me when it's pretty clear that it's yours? I don't want a second hand, duh!" She rolled her eyes.
"Do you think it's from..."
"Oh, I don't think so...uhm, you said earlier she's in a restaurant right? So...I guess she's b-busy. Yah, I think it's not from her and besides, she's married."
Married. Kailan ba ako matatauhan? She's right. It will never ever crossed her mind to give me such thing like this.
She's happy. So I should be happy too, I guess.
"Fine." Sukong saad ko. I smell the rainbow roses again and my lips automatically curved into a smile.
Simple thing makes me happy.
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