Part Playlist:
• Elliots Song - Kina Grannis
• What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish
• Daylight - David Kushner
• Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo
• Bellyache - Billie Eilish
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"What did your mother always say, Katarina? Suck in that stomach." My father snapped at me from the drivers seat. "zapomni eto na etot raz"
When he spoke Russian, you knew he was frustrated.
"I will." I said quietly, making my brother check on me through his mirror in the passenger seat.
I looked away, watching out the window as we pulled up to a gas station in the city of Pittsburg. It was too early, but it was always like this competition days.
I didn't particularly want to be here anyway. Competition or not, it was never a nice outing with my father and brother.
"Your brother and I need the restroom. Fill it up." My father ordered.
"Now, Katarina!" My brother added, which made me shuffle out of my seat and outside.
I watched as they both walked away, leaving me by the car.
I was 22, by the way. Perfectly legal in every country to do what I wanted, and not be ordered around by my own family. But I still did it. I knew better than to talk back to any of them. Not to mention go against my faith.
I looked to the... the little door on the side of the car where I knew the gas went.
I'd never done this before in my life. My heart rate picked up, knowing if it's not done when they get back...
Some chatter about 10 feet away got my attention. It was a man getting out of the front of a black car, extremely tall and muscular. I was intrigued by his dark tattoos, and his long braids down his back. His voice was so deep. Flanking him were two other men, a bit shorter but both had tattoos and this aura about them that made me curious. The three of them walked inside the station together.
I went to turn around and inspect the hose and pump, but got distracted by a woman by that same car the males came from.
She was tall, muscular and tanned. Covered in beautiful blank ink and filling up the car. Her hair looked so soft, the way it was tucked behind her ears. She even had piercings that made me wonder.
The woman looked at me. "Something intriguing?" She asked, her voice deep and I think annoyed.
I looked to the pump.
I tried to find instructions as I picked the pump up. But I couldn't find any.
My head kept telling me to look back at the attractive woman. But I didn't. I don't even know what I'd say to her.
I don't get out much. If it's not someone at the studio, or home. I don't really talk to them. Even out for the odd dinner with father and brother, they always ordered my meal for me. Answered for me.
Nor would it ever be ok to tell my father and brother I found women and men attractive. It's against my faith and a sin. My father would never approve of that.
He would never approve of anyone. And that's a sin. He has to approve of him. And the ring on my finger, the promise I made to him would make sure I never was with someone before marriage.
I'd basically known since I was 15 if would be extremely difficult finding the right person for me. Because I was always drawn to the darker things. Tattoos. They were a sin, too.
"You don't know how to pump gas?" A deep voice made me jump. Gasp and turn around.
The woman was right here, looking down at me with the bluest eyes I think I've seen. The most intense eyes, yet soft I've ever seen.
She looked so... so different. Good different. I was boring compared to her. I had the Russian light skin, blue eyes and the families straight brown hair. I looked to the tattoo on her arms. "You've never done it before?" The woman repeated to me.
I shook my head, looking at the pump awkwardly.
The woman took it from my hands quickly. "Careful, or you'll spray me with it." And she smiled warmly. Gently. Nearly laughed.
She was so pretty.
The woman looked to the gas station and I followed her gaze. Luckily, my father or brother were no where to be seen. "Your parent or brother already paid for it inside?"
I nodded, because I think they did.
"Then it's easy. Once you've paid, you just grab the pump." She showed me the hose in her hand and I smiled a little. "The flaps open, so you put the hose in. Squeeze like this and it'll start filling up. Then you wait, and it will stop itself once it's full." The woman explained.
I watched intently as she filled it up, holding the hose. "Thank you." I somehow got out of my mouth, just very softly.
The woman looked at me, as I'd surprised. "Your accent is different. Where are you from?" She asked.
I cleared my throat. "My father was born in Russia "
The woman smiled again, looking like she was going to say something else but got distracted by the three men who came out of the station. They had snacks in their hands, sweet ones I'd never be allowed to have this early of a morning. They noticed the woman by me, and she waved to them. They nodded back and got to the black car.
"You don't have your license?" The woman looked back to me, focusing on me.
I shook my head.
I think the car was full and she pulled the hose out, putting it back to the stand and then closing the flap for me. "How do you say thank you in Russian?" She asked, looking at me so intently again.
It made my cheeks flush. "Um... Spasibo." I thanked her.
The woman's eyes creased as she smiled. "You're welcome." And she backed away towards the car she came in. I really didn't want her to go.
"What did that horrid woman want, Katarina?" My fathers voice cut through the air, and I snapped my eyes at him and my brother nearly at the car with me. "If I ever see a disgusting tattoo like that on your skin. You would know about it..." he threatened, climbing in the drivers side.
My brother walked to my side where I was still by the back door, and he made eye contact with the woman who was watching from the car. She hadn't hopped in, was stood there watching me. Us. My brother as he opened my door for me and basically shoved me in.
I let him shut the door and get in the passenger side.
I looked out of the back window, and the woman had hopped in the car.
As we pulled out and headed deeper in the city, I kept rotating my ankles and squeezing my toes. Wearing ballet shoes a lot made them extremely sore. I wasn't looking forward to the competition today.
Ballet was... it was great. Was, being the key word.
I used to adore it. I spun with passion. Danced with absolutely love. Now, I just... when I fall I don't care. I don't know when the enjoyment left, maybe when mother died. But that's why father moved here. So she could pursue her love for dance. He had business here, but, it was mainly for her.
Now, I feel like I have to follow in my mothers footsteps. But I have other passions I wanted to pursue now. But I know I can't. So I have to stick to it. I have to do these competitions. For her.
Ever since she died, I think I've forgot how to be happy.
Time jump
I was resting on my hand, elbow on the door holding back tears.
My father just finished giving me a lecture, swearing and threatening me for my performance. I placed 2nd, and that wasn't good enough.
"Why the fuck is this taking so long?" My father cursed in the air, driving in a backstage area. The competition was in a smaller arena, beside a larger one where some other show was packing up. I had no idea what.
I winded my window down. "I'm warm." I claimed, and to my surprise my father didn't order me to roll it back up. Yet.
I looked out the window, seeing many people packing things up. Boxes and labels that read WWE. I didn't know what that was, but was curious.
I couldn't look it up. My father had access to my mobile phone. He's check it often and had my internet and text history. If I were to search that up, he would confront me about it.
Someone caught my eye, being escorted to a car by a security guards. They looked tired, and I could very faintly hear them talking. "Brutal match tonight. Really rough on the body."
I didn't know what he meant, but I didn't think about it much, because she caught my eye instead.
The woman from earlier.
She was being escorted by a guard to that black car again, where the three men were waiting for her. She had this suitcase behind her, and she looked a little different now. I would recognise her anywhere, I think.
She had this dark and intense makeup up. Wet hair stuck on her face. I felt a little sad seeing she had these bruises growing and red marks on her skin. Why was she so hurt?
She was halfway across the car park. I don't know how, or if she just felt it. But she looked my way.
She saw me and smiled, slowing down a little.
I really liked that.
She made me smile back.
"Rhea." A man said by the car, grabbing her attention from me. "Here." He grabbed her suitcase from her, putting it in the back of the car.
Rhea. Was her name.
Rhea gave me a single look as she opened the back door to the car. She looked so tired.
"Stick your head back in the car, Katarina. You're embarrassing." My Father snapped at me, using the cars system to roll my window up.
I put my head back inside, putting my hands in my lap.
Time Jump
The 6 hour car ride back to New York was horrible.
With my father and brother in the front seat, the whole way I sat in just about silence as they talked business I wasn't allowed to know about. My brother has started working my father, and learning from him. He was the heir to the company. At 25, he was more than capable of performing well for father.
We finally got home. I walked close beside my brother the way inside. Cameras were everywhere around and inside the house. The only places there weren't any, and where I could finally have some peace and alone time was my bedroom and the bathroom.
Our house was... it was something. Dark and tall. Very frightening. Even the inside was dark and wood.
We had just finished dinner together, and I took another verbal assault from my father about the competition... but it didn't affect me like usual.
Now I was sat cross legged on my bed, debating whether or not I should search what I've been thinking about for hours.
Rhea and WWE.
I had to know. I wanted to know what she did. Why she had so many bruises on her skin.
I shook my head, knowing my father will see this either way.
But I had to know.
I grabbed my phone and pulled the internet app up. Memories of sore cheeks and arms flash back to me seeing the last thing I searched that made father upset. I was researching the religion that's been in our bloodline for centuries, "Faith of Otets." He discovered it very quickly and very quickly made sure I didn't do that again.
I continued typing it in. "Rhea WWE." I read what come up first.
Rhea Ripley is a 27 year old wrestler, performing under the RAW brand. She is the current Women's World Champion, and apart of the faction The Judgment Day.
I had no idea what that meant. I'd heard the term wrestling but did not know what it really was.
I clicked images and looked at the ones that came up.
She has a boyfriend.
I don't know why, but it made me feel a little sad. If I'm remembering correctly, I'm pretty certain it was one of the men she was with.
I found his name and clicked it. Dominik Mysterio.
Before I could read about him, my father stomped up the steps, the way he does when he's looking for me. By now, I can tell who is walking up those steps. My brother or my father.
I put my phone on my bedside table, and pretended to be grabbing socks from my drawer. Hands shaking as I did it.
My door opened and my father came in. "You need to get to sleep, Katarina. I don't know why you're still up at this hour. Yebat. You're at the studio all day tomorrow, get in bed." He said angrily. He was still upset about today.
"Yes. I will." I replied, nodding. "Thank you for taking me today."
My father scoffed. "Yebat." He swore. "Stop sucking up to me before I give you a real punishment, Katarina. neuvazhitel'nyy"
I pulled the blanket open and slid in. Immediately closing my eyes as he left the room, turning my light off on the way.
I turned over in bed and didn't dare move the rest of the night.
Time Jump
"KATARINA!" My father screaming outside my door made me snap awake. I sat up, looking at the door as I waited for him to barge in.
Oh, god. He knew. He saw it.
"kakogo cherta!" He shouted curses in Russian, raging. He slammed my door open, and he was pure anger. He had his phone in his hand, work clothes on too. "Do you want to explain to me why you're looking at this? Disobedient little girl." He snapped, and he grabbed me by the back of the neck.
I cringed as the skin hurt there. But I let him pull me until I was at a stand beside my bed.
"What's your fascination with this, Katarina?" He turned his phone around, shoving it in my face. It was a screenshot exactly of what I searched last night.
I couldn't even speak right now.
"Are we not enough for you? moya shlyukha-dochka." He cursed.
I gasped at the insult and the name he called me. "It's not... I was just- Father, please... I-"
"Shut up." My father yelled at me, grabbing me by the hair and shoving my side into my wardrobe. I crashed into the wood, perfumes and books falling off and by my feet. I grabbed my side and looked at my father huffing. "Your brother is taking you to the studio and picking you up later. Don't be late, Katarina." He said, and walked in a deadly silence from the room. He was about to shut the door then he said. "This stays open tonight. You've lost the privilege of privacy."
He left the room and I held my tears back. I looked down at my feet to where my things were now laying. Then I slowly and sadly began picking them up.
I checked the time and it was 4:48am. My father usually woke me up at 5am everyday, but, he got too angry this morning. I had an hour before my brother leaves at 6.
Carefully walking to the shower, I spent little time in there. I rubbed at my side and the small mark I had there. It was a little sore and would most likely bruise.
Back in my room, I picked my phone up and cleared every search of Rhea and WWE. I got rid of everything and hoped my head would forget about the woman too.
On the way to the studio, my brother walked me to the door. I was here all day by myself. From 6:30am to pm. My brother would unlock and then lock it for me. So no one could come in, and I couldn't leave and then come back. I was trapped in here for 12 most days.
The only thing inside was a long and empty room. A small stereo with the same classical 12 songs, a small fridge with pre packed meals and water. Plus a small bathroom. It was far too big for just me. My mothers plan was to run her own studio and classes, but, I certainly can't do that.
Nikolai locked the door behind me, telling me he'd be back at 6:30 to pick me up. I nodded, knowing how this goes and walking inside the room.
I put my bags down and sat to open them. Of course, I couldn't spend 12 hours dancing. My body and specifically my feet would be bloody and bruised. I pulled out a Greek romance I'd been looking to read for a while. I'd hoped it would make this day go a lot faster.
I was only 20 pages in, leaning against the wall lazily when someone knocked at the door to the studio. My head snapped up, and I had no idea who it could be.
I slowly sat up, putting my book down.
It must be my father or brother. But what did they need. I walked over and hesitated a second. But they knocked again, making me open it.
Who stood there completely and utterly shocked me.
She stood there, black shorts and maroon coloured and tight fitting top. She looked like she had just finished working out. She looked a little surprised, like she didn't expect me to answer the door. "Rhea?"
She smiled. "You know my name."
I hardly knew what to even say. I looked over her shoulder to the street outside, hoping my brother or father wasn't around right now.
Rhea looked behind her. "Everything alright, Kat?" She looked to me, worry and softness in her eyes.
I cleared my throat. "You know my name." I pointed out softly.
Rhea smiled and crossed her arms. "I had to do some research to figure that one out. Then to find this place. Can I come in?" She looked over my shoulder to the studio behind me. "You're in here alone?"
I nodded, but moved to the side to let her in. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I couldn't say no to her. She looked into my eyes as she passed me, body really close to mine. "Spasibo." She whispered.
I shut the door and turned around to watch her. She was walking around and taking in the studio. "It's big in here. And you're the only one that uses it?" She asks, eyes settling on me.
I nodded lightly. "Yeah." I was still very surprised she was here. "H-how are you here? Why?" I asked, then she looked at me a little down. I didn't mean to offend her. "Sorry."
Rhea shrugged. "I looked at the results of the competition you had yesterday. Eventually found you, and the last name Baranov connected to this studio."
That seemed like a lot of work to do to come here. But why...
"Why..." Rhea started. "I couldn't get your face out of my head. It sounds weird, but, I was worried about you."
I shook my head and laughed awkwardly. "I'm fine."
Rhea nodded, looking around. Did she regret coming here?
"I have a show in New York tonight, I just thought I would come here and see if you're here by any chance." Rhea explained.
"I am here every day." I replied.
"By yourself everyday? Do you work?" Rhea asked curiously.
I shook my head. "No."
"So, you're here everyday? Dancing?" Rhea asked, unsure.
I shrugged. "I don't dance all day. I read." I point to the book on the ground.
She looked to it briefly then back to me. She looked worried. "The door was locked, do you have a key?"
I scratched my head. "No."
Rhea raised her eyebrows. She looked so pretty with clean and flushed skin. I don't think she knew what to say. "Do you want to do this or are you forced to do this?"
I breathed a few needed breaths. I really didn't want to tell her about this. Saying it all out loud and confirming it was embarrassing. It wasn't normal, I knew that. But it was my religion. I had to. I crossed my arms. "Both." I replied.
Rheas lower lip twitched as she took a few careful steps by direction. I took a careful step back from her, unsure of what she was doing. "Sorry." She whispered, stopping her steps. "Can't you decide to do something else? Don't listen to your father- or whoever it is. Do what you want to do?" She asked.
"That's a sin." I tilted my head.
"A sin? What's a sin?"
I cleared my throat. "To act against my father."
Rhea lifted her chin, she didn't seem to understand very much. "You're religious?" I nodded. "I've never heard of a sin like that."
I looked away, and none of us spoke at all.
"What else is a sin?" She asked in the silence.
I looked at my feet and shuffled on them. "I don't really want to talk about it, Rhea." I whispered.
Rhea seemed to understand and she walked over to pick my book up, inspecting it. "I can stay for a few hours if you wanted some company? I don't need to be at the arena for a while."
I raised my eyebrows. I couldn't say no to her. Thinking about spending time with her made me feel excited. This woman really made me feel something.
I looked over my shoulder to the door, hoped and nearly got on my knees and prayed that no one would suddenly come back. This was so risky. It was putting her and myself in danger. But I couldn't help that urge to stay with her.
"Ok." I told her, and Rhea smiled.