2. Helper
After that, things went pretty smoothly.
You had apologized to Mikasa and told her what had happened, how Professor Jeager had kindly given you a second chance and you had to work hard to get good grades because of that. You had left out the part where you had hugged the man, you knew she would get sad and overthink it while you did it just because he looked miserable and for nothing else.
You had completed the first three assignments successfully, you tried to be as organized as possible and stayed up almost all those nights to study and write, it was exhausting but rewarding every time you received Professor Jeager's emails telling you that you were doing very good and even praised some of your works.
You didn't exactly know why, but hearing encouraging words from him made you feel appreciated and inspired you to work even harder for some reason. But you brushed it off as the sense of satisfaction after working so hard.
"Are you sure you've been sleeping enough?" Jean asked as soon as he sat down next to you. "Your eye bags are terrifying, seriously." He poked at your cheek with his finger and you groaned tiredly.
"I've been studying, dumbass." You said before grabbing your notebook, Professor Jeager had just started his lesson and you were absolutely not into it. You were aware of the difficulties of studying both at school and at home, it was as if your whole life had been sucked away and you only had one thing on your mind.
You didn't even know how someone like Mikasa could be so good at everything with so little effort and, to be honest, you were already sick of all that hard work and wished you could just relax and do all the work later. Surely your professor wouldn't fail you if you sent one of those assignments a day later, would he?
But no, that card had already been used way too many times. You couldn't depend on his generosity anymore, let alone screwing your last chance to prove him wrong.
Your ex-boyfriend stared at you intensely, as if he was trying to study your body language and expression. But again, what kind of expression could a sleep-deprived girl have? "Damn, you look like you're going to pass out any minute, have you tried listening to some asmr? That always helps me fall asleep."
You frowned. "I don't have a sleeping problem, Jean. I simply don't want to sleep so I can get my work done."
"That sounds like a sleeping problem to me." He poked at your cheeks again. "You are pale like a zombie."
"Glad to hear your compliments this morning." You rolled your eyes at him.
He grinned. "I mean, you're still hot, just the tired kind of hot." He joked and you snorted. "Hey, if you come to my place tonight, I could help you with whatever you have to do, and then we could sleep while watching a movie together, how does that sound?" He winked and you wanted to hit him in the face.
Same old Jean, just a more annoyed you.
"Mr. Kirstein." Professor Jeager stopped right next to your desk, you wanted to disappear right there. "If you're not interested, you're welcome to leave or mind your business, but I would appreciate it if you didn't bother the rest of the class." The man said with a cold tone of voice, his eyes felt like blades cutting through the student, you wondered how he could change from those gentle and lovable eyes to that.
Jean snorted and leaned against his seat. "I'm sorry." That apology wasn't sincere but the man didn't seem to care that much about that, he shot a glance at you but you ignored him and kept doing what you always did: sleep with your eyes open.
The rest of the lesson went on without any problem, Jean kept quiet, and Mikasa took notes that you would ask to see later as usual. Eren didn't say anything about whatever had happened and you were glad, even if you kind of felt disappointed.
So, as soon as you came back home, you went back to work.
Mikasa sat next to you on your bed and offered you a cup of coffee. "You should rest a bit, you've been overworking for the last few days. Usually, you don't get the will to do anything until like two hours before the deadline."
You sighed. "Yeah, I'm aware of my bad habits. But this time I can't risk it, if any of these assignments are not done correctly it could lead me to fail." You couldn't really handle failure, but moreover, you didn't want to fail a class that wasn't even the main subject of your course. "Just one week and I'll be back with my relaxed ways."
She looked at you reluctantly. "If you need help..."
"And risk getting caught again? I doubt he would let you off the hook this time." You shook your head, you didn't want to put Mikasa in a position like that ever again, she was your best friend, not a cheating tool. "Just give me your notes and we're cool."
The girl smiled amused and handed you the papers she had already prepared. "Here, if you don't understand something just let me know." She got up and started to walk towards the kitchen.
"How could I? You write like a robot, there's no way I wouldn't be able to understand something." You muttered with a pout before focusing back on your PC, a new notification signaled you that you had just received a new mail.
You took a sip of your coffee and decided to open it, your hands were sweating and your stomach was getting butterflies. What was it about? Maybe Professor Jeager was praising you for the assignment you had sent the night before? Or maybe he was going to tell you that you needed to redo it because it was shit. It was so stressful to even think about it.
from Erenjeager@ mail.com:
Just finished correcting your latest essay. There were some incorrections but other than that it was pretty good, I especially appreciated the part where you gave your point of view of the whole situation, keep up the good work!
On another note, I couldn't help but notice that you've been very absent during class, even more than usual. I was wondering if there was anything that was troubling you? If so, please don't hesitate to contact me and let me know, I'm sure we could work this out. I'm asking a lot from you but that doesn't mean that you should put your health aside.
Have a good day, see you in class,
Eren Jeager.
You had to read it twice because of how surprised you were. What was that about? Yes, you weren't the most active person during class, but for him to say that you were even more passive than usual, meant that you had messed up big time.
With a loud groan, you closed your laptop and stopped to think about what to say. You could've just ignored the mail and moved on, it was normal for a professor to be worried about his students' health. But you couldn't believe that he was worried about you, you weren't the teacher's pet and not even close to a good-grade kid. So why?
He was being so nice to you, it almost made you feel important. But, of course, that was only your own delusional imagination.
"Is something wrong?" Mikasa came back and you sat up startled, she looked at you confused and you placed the laptop next to you on the bed. "I heard your loud sighs from the kitchen." She said tilting her head.
You gulped. To tell her the truth or not? What if she misunderstood the situation, you couldn't risk that. "Ah, Professor Jeager just sent me an email and he said that there were a few errors in my last essay, I really thought I had done a great job." You shrugged, the guilt of hiding something so small was hitting harder than you had expected.
She shook her head. "He can be so strict sometimes, maybe it's his way to get back at you for not doing all your homework earlier." She thought out loud and you nodded. You knew that it wasn't like that and that he was being nicer than he should, everything about that situation could be misunderstood so easily. "Maybe I can help with that, let me your essay." She came closer to you and you almost sat on your computer to hide it from her.
"No need!" You exclaimed with a high-pitched voice. If she opened that computer, she would've seen the mail and questioned you about it. "I can do it, this has become a challenge." You lied and she blinked confused. "I'll show him that I can do whatever assignment alone and get a good grade so I can throw it in his face."
She didn't look too convinced but decided to let it go. "Alright, as long as you feel confident about it. I'm gonna take a shower." She grabbed her towel and walked towards the bathroom.
Once you heard the door closing, you exhaled the breath you didn't know you had been holding. You grabbed the laptop and opened it once again, the screen immediately showed you the infamous mail that had made you a mess.
Maybe you should've answered, after all, he was only checking up on you, nothing so terrific about it.
to Erenjeager@mail.com:
Good afternoon,
I wanted to thank you for the feedback, I'll make sure to improve my future essays.
I'm also grateful for your kind words and I'm sorry I made you worry for nothing. I'm trying to focus on school and only school, but keeping up with my backlog and new assignments from other classes as well has been rather difficult. Still, I'm putting all my effort into what I'm doing so please don't mistake this as a simple justification.
I hope you're doing fine as well. See you in class,
Y/n.
You pressed the send button with reluctance, was that a good answer? It didn't sound too formal but not even too friendly. That was probably the first time something like that had ever happened to you, most teachers emailed you just to complain about your work being late or just to communicate anything related to their lessons.
He was indeed different. Now you could understand why everyone liked him, he was simply a kind heart, and a person like that was so rare. If he hadn't been your professor but just a normal guy, you would've probably liked him a lot, he was a daydream if you thought about it. You wondered if he would've been better than Jean in your last relationship.
You were distracted from your own thoughts by your laptop, another notification appearing on the screen. You placed the empty cup of coffee down and slowly opened your mail again. Did he answer already? So fast?
from Erenjeager@ mail.com:
I'm glad to hear that, I'm sure you'll get good results. But still, it's not good to get so stressed, are you sure you're getting enough sleep? If you ever feel like there's too much going on, just let me know and we can move the deadline of your assignments. I'd rather have a job well done later than a quick one full of errors.
I've been doing alright, but I'd feel even better knowing that I'm not ruining my student's health. If you want, I'd be more than happy to discuss your future assignments next time after class, that way you can organize your work better.
There was this thing about him that you couldn't put your hand on. Yet, you couldn't help the big smile on your face as you replied telling him that you'd like that very much. It was so stupid, really, he was just offering his help but you felt as if he had just told you that he cared about you more than you had thought.
"Did you finish?" Your roommate sat on her bed and eyed you curiously. "Or did Jean flirt with you again?" She teased.
You closed your laptop and gave her your full attention. "Why'd you ask?"
"Because you're smiling and your cheeks are red, which happens only when you get flustered or embarrassed." She giggled before grabbing her phone. "You know, you can tell me if you're back with Jean."
You snorted. "Please, it's not like that and I'm not that desperate to get with him again after what happened." You mumbled. The problem with Jean was simple, he was indeed charming and sweet, but he was also a player. So, things ended pretty quickly after you had heard him saying that Mikasa was hot, and if you had rejected him, he would've gone for her. "He is lucky I care about him and kept him as a friend."
She nodded, she wasn't interested in Jean but she couldn't help but feel a little guilty about what had happened. "Then, maybe you met someone else?" She asked hopefully.
You chuckled and then lay down with a loud snort. "As if! I don't have the time nor the energy."
She agreed with you and then sighed. "Men are so difficult." She muttered and you frowned, who was she referring to? She didn't talk to anyone if not your friend group, she wasn't interested in any boy you had ever met at parties, and for the longest time, people had thought of her as either a lesbian or asexual.
You had bet on the second option.
But then she met Professor Jeager and started to act all weird, it was obvious she had a crush but you couldn't tell if she was talking about him or not. "Yeah, that's true." And with that, you went back to your study session.
You still had a lot of work to do.
**
"Thank you for helping me." You smiled as you sat down in Professor Jeager's office, he had offered to talk there since it was more comfortable and silent. He waited for you to finish your classes and then showed you to his office. "I hope I'm not taking too much of your time."
He offered a small grin and sat right in front of you. He placed some papers on the desk between you and cleared his throat. "You don't need to worry, it's my job to help my students." He then gestured for you to show him your latest work.
You grabbed your laptop and opened it to show him your essay. "So this is my latest work, I started with a simple explanation and then moved on to some information I found on the internet or notes, but it's so confusing because it seems like I'm just repeating the same thing over and over." You explained as he leaned in to look at the screen. "And then I tried to include my point of view, just like you said, but it's difficult to explain what I think when I don't fully understand what's going on."
He hummed as he kept inspecting your essay, after a few minutes of silence, he nodded. "Yeah, I can sense your confusion from your words." He showed you one of the sheets of paper he had brought. "These are my personal notes that I used when first studied this topic, since I've never seen you writing anything I say during classes down, I thought this could help you understand." He handed them to you.
"Ah, yes." You murmured taking them. "I prefer to listen..." You trailed off feeling embarrassed once again, how could he always hit the target? "But these are perfect." You said after checking the notes for a brief moment.
He nodded and then got up from his seat. "Do you want some coffee?" He asked and only then you noticed a coffee machine right behind him. "I also have tea."
"Sure, I need some caffeine to get through today anyway." You weren't the biggest fan of coffee, but it had become your best weapon whenever you had to pull an all-nighter. "What do you think about the layout of the essay?"
Eren grabbed two small plastic cups and filled them with the hot liquid before handing one to you. "I think it's too schematic, if you focus only on the definition you lose the possibility of getting into details later, so why don't you write using a timeline instead?"
"So writing everything chronologically?" You sipped the drink and pouted at the horrible taste, but what could you expect from a coffee machine? So you just stayed silent and kept drinking it out of courtesy.
The man noticed that and chuckled amused. "You're probably the first person I've ever seen drinking this coffee with so much passion." He commented and you gulped placing the cup down.
"It's terrible."
"That's more like it." He agreed. "I'm sorry, next time I'll treat you to some real coffee." He hadn't realized what he had just said until it was too late, he observed your face trying to see if you had any reaction, but you were calmly looking at his notes.
You were panicking, of course, but you didn't want him to know, so pretended that it was nothing. "I'll take you on that." You replied casually, as if you were talking to a friend, because that's exactly how you felt. "So, can I get another day to work on this?" You asked trying to change the subject.
"Mhm." He stopped to think about it. "I'll give you three days for this one since it's long and you need to do some more research, but no more than that." You found it cute how he tried to sound strict about it, but his soft voice made it obvious that he didn't mean it like that.
"Yes sir." You closed your laptop and put everything back in your bag, he felt kind of upset that you were leaving already, he wanted to keep you there a little longer and maybe chitchat with you about something, anything.
So he cleared his throat to get your attention. "So, how have you been? I hope you're not too stressed out." It was almost a desperate move, but he wanted to hear your voice a little more.
You pouted and crossed your arms on your chest. "I'm not exactly a fan of studying, I am doing more work now in a few days than the last few years." You muttered tiredly, his eyes were fixed on you as you spoke. "It's not that I'm not good at it, if I put all my effort I may get something decent." You shrugged.
Eren frowned at that statement before leaning towards you. "Sorry if I impose, but why are you in college if you don't like it?"
You sighed and looked down at your own shoes, that was a difficult topic to talk about, let alone to a professor who was supposed to judge you about it. "Ah." You faked a small chuckle. "Well, what else was I supposed to do after High School, am I right?" You joked.
"Many things actually, you don't have to push yourself for years if that's only going to make you feel worse." He said as if it was the most normal thing, but he could tell that you weren't believing him one bit. "As I see it, college can help only if you're passionate about it or if you're fixated on a future job, but you don't seem either of them."
"Yeah..." You trailed off and started to look around awkwardly. "Anyway, I should go." You stood up and started to walk towards the door. "Thank you for your help, professor." You offered a small smile hoping that it wouldn't upset him.
He felt his chest a little heavy, but he tried to shrug it off. "No problem." He then hesitated and approached you. "For anything else, just send me an email, or text me if it'd made it easier for you."
How was that easier? Texting felt... somehow illegal. "Right, I'll make sure to keep that in mind." And with that, you walked out of the room, it was already embarrassing as it was, let alone talking to him like a normal person would.
You surely had some kind of bond with him, but that was simply a platonic relationship, he wanted to help and you surely needed it more than anyone else.