🌸 How have you been? 🌸
Rustling and bustling of the cars, vehicles, and machines, the heat of the town and choking smell of the smoke, tiring traces of flooding sweat flowing down the pale skin.
The air condition of the car is abruptly turned off by the submissive alpha who now sits on the backseat of the car after shifting from his position in the driving seat. Every common thing around him seems so irritating today. His senses suddenly feel hypersensitive. Since the very moment he woke up, his mood seems sour. His body experiences a sudden turn in biorhythm. These feelings are new to a commoner but not to the one who is currently experiencing it.
It has a very clear indication and definite meaning. His body is tired. He needs an ample amount of rest after a night of painful rut. Yesterday his body had undergone the very common phenomenon of ruts that every normal alpha is bound to face. It is just that his routines of subsiding the pain work differently. His very common practice of enduring it first and then going through thousands of pain-relieving medicines and suppressants follows.
Sometimes the medicines fail to counteract his desires and then he ends up with a body that is overly tired due to the action of meds but is dissatisfied or relieved from the ever painful shackles of sinful desire. His mind cannot help but waver in the memory pots of the very rare times when he was touched by his mate. His mind gets crowded with the flashing images of him and his mate in an epitome of intimacy. He can not help but give more to the sinful desire of being touched.
His hands move on for providing him with the very necessary release, his mind clouds up under the thick veil of lust. It whimpers, moans and pants for desperately getting what it longs for. But his heart cries in the shade of agony that has never failed to shelter his sadness, insecurities, pain, and desperation, avoiding and preventing them from leaving his conscience.
The only thought that pierces his clogged mind like blazes of fire in the fragile pit of young green grass is "Whom are you fantasizing about? Is he yours anymore?" His motions come to an abrupt stop leaving him from acquiring even the slightest shiver of pleasure. It seems sinful. Wrong in the sense that he was not made to face justice, and again at the reality that he had nothing to say in it. Or had he?
Whatever might the pros or cons be, his mate is barely his. His man is no more the one whom he had loved or he still helplessly does. It has long been past. What remains are just the memories. This routine seems unreal.
He often convinces himself saying these never occur or these are the very vague glimpses of what he subconsciously dreams of. Yet, his life never leaves the slightest of a chance to throw him the trench of dark and harsh reality. His heat comes with pain and subsides in a very similar way.
FRUSTRATION. That is all he can feel at the moment.
While buttoning his shirt for the second time in a day, as they were opened due to the increasing heat, he reaches the second workplace. The day follows and so does the monotone of works. His heat tends to rise every moment leaving him panting out his discomfort every time he is out of the eyes of the world. Jackson, being the very close friend and caring one, doesn't fail even to the slightest to track off the other's desperate and helpless situation.
But, he refrains from confronting. He is still finding words to tell. He is yet to not get maddened by seeing the other's pale face that very carefully hides the desires.
It is difficult when a submissive one gets into the pit of desires and sits in front of him. But it is more difficult when the other happens to be a source of desires. It is more difficult when the other is his best friend. The evening comes, gradually draining everyone's energy as it similarly forces the sun to sleep. In the quiet room, enclosed by closed walls sits a submissive alpha cradling his face into his shaking palms.
He feels extremely weak. Too much energy less to even get up and reach his house. He needs suppressants, a fresh new dose of it, but he lacks the strength to buy one. He crouches down while sitting uncomfortably on the swivel chair.
While clutching his tightened abdomen and gripping his hair rigidly, he whimpers. So very silent, his voice seems that even the air needs to pass by in a doubtless and free will of not having to carry any source of vibration around.
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A flashback suddenly barges into flashback:
"Does it hurt?" A young dominant alpha asks his mate who is being ravished, mercilessly under him.
Bodies colliding, skin in extreme heat, two separate bodies intertwined and connected, the submissive alpha just half nods being unable to cope with any decipherable words. It is the first time he has ever felt this pain which has a vague tie with the euphoria his heart is feeling. Pleasure, to him, is new.
"I am sorry. I promise it will feel good after a while." Comes the raspy voice of his mate.
Then begins his journey to where his mind and body surrenders every sense of logic. It just feels the knot that is firmed by his mate. He enjoys the pain.
End of flashback.
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That was the day, he was deflowered by his mate whom he could call "his". But that is past. Tae always considered memories to be the evident parts of his life, that still keep him going on in this life. To him, they were happy, right at this moment, his mind forces him to believe that what he had forever considered as good has the evilest of sides. The memories hurt now. They stab his already wounded heart, not to create a hole but to always remind him that his heart already adorns a hole that can never be cured.
While enduring the unbearable pain he feels his all senses begin to surrender to a feeling of numbness. He wants to collapse, he wants to give in to the desire inside his core, he wants it to subside. But that is never easy. The sole way of covering the painful space is to submit to an alpha. But, is that possible? Never!
He is determined that he will die due to untreated heat and ignorance, he will be mediocre out of ruts, but he will never bend to any other alpha who happens to be anyone except his mate. In between his trance, his body flinches suddenly. He feels a warm touch on his back. He yearns for someone to touch him, to state his wants, but not anyone. He despises the touch of the others, he considered them tainted.
In a fraction of a second, his body straightens and he yanks away the other person whom he thought of as a stranger.
"Don't you dare touch me!"
His voice comes out in a shriek, acting as a medium of letting out all his pent-up frustrations. His body is extremely weak collapses, but he refuses to give up he falls on his knees but his head remains held straight.
There is no way that he will submit to a slut like any other alpha who lusts over him. He is courageous, strong, and independent. But what will he do of this stranger is to touch him forcefully? His strength is barely usable, for his rut has taken over him.
A wave of panic crosses his conscience. He looks up to see the other's face. But, his rut has blurred his vision. His eyes are dazed, red and his body is yearning, screaming to be touched, his mind just desires life.
No matter how much he tries, his vision seems to betray him. He decides to consider the future. If he is taken by the stranger now, he will never be able to feel anything except the complexity of him being dirty. His solemn wish of being loyal will be snatched.
His mind is about to calculate more of these what-ifs when his ears sense a very familiar voice.
"Tae ! Can you hear me? It's me!" The other's voice contains evident traces of saturated concern. The voice seems too much familiar. His lips part to voice out his thoughts, his question. The person who just yelled, shrieked in a loud tone, creating echoes in the empty walls of the office buildings is barely able to hold on to his steady voice.
"J-jackson? Is that a weakly voices.
"Yes. It's me, tae. I am here. Relax."
Tae sighs hard. His worries and tensions all slowly wash away when he confirms the other to be his very best friend, his well-wisher. Jackson slowly approached him and embraced the other in a comforting warm hug. Jackson was there all along. He just waited for the office to get empty enough to visit the submissive alpha. He knew something is wrong. And the 'something' was very clear to him.
After taking the suppressants with him, he ambles towards the submissive alpha's private office only to find the other crouching in pain, whimpering silently. He decides to be the single and long-suffering source of comfort to the other and slowly starts patting his back. Which intern was returned with the shout and warning?
But, he has no complaints. He perfectly knows what exactly the reactions are coming from. He knows everything. The suppressants are ready to be consumed. But feeding the other with suppressants in the raw and saturated form will just increase increase increase.
With gentle hands, Jackson leads the other's heavy tired body to his warm one. While embracing the other in a bone-crushing hug, he releases the pheromones for the other to calm down to a considerable extent. So many sufferings, so much pain, and endurance of the day finally seem to come to an end for the submissive alpha.
The other's calming pheromones soothe the burning heat of his interiors. Like a forest fire that is finally extinguished his body now relaxes. The tears of satisfaction along with the unwanted but unavoidable feeling of helplessness flow unendingly from his eyes. But the falling tears are soon wiped away.
"Everything is fine." The words of the other mean a lot to him. He wishes everything to be fine.
"Here I bought you suppressants." A gentle voice informs him. He slightly opens his eyes to visualize a distorted image of a glass of water with 5 pills being dissolved slowly. He parts his lips and tries to extend his hand but the glass of water is already put in front of his lips ready to be swallowed down.
He closes his eyes in an unexplainable feeling of dependence. He almost forgot that he has a shoulder to cry on, a person to go to, a person to seek help from, a person who doesn't need to be said for understanding his needs, he has a best friend. He feels the bitter liquid run down his dry throat. He gulps the contents slowly as the other continues pouring. After a sigh, he finally finds the voice in his throat. "Jackson?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
"No need."
"Sorry."
"No need of that too. We are best friends. I must help you."
He finally smiles after the whole day of pain. His smiles break like the invading sun rays of the morning sky. But his eyes feel heavy. His body still feels weak. He slowly gives in to the slumber that shall partly provide him the much-needed rest. Before completely closing his eyes he feels a soft pat on his head and a low mumble of "Sleep peacefully."
In the cold office room, two figures are on the floor. One sleeping peacefully and the other gently but properly supporting the relaxed body of the sleeping form. The night remains silent witnessing the friendship that grew even stronger today. The sleeping body is carefully brought into the private room in the office.
Tae's coat is removed and his clothes are loosened to allow him a proper and comfortable sleep. A blanket is placed on top of him to help his cold body get the necessary warmth to counteract the chilled surroundings.
The room is dimly lit and a dominant alpha sits by the bed while holding the sleeping one's hand. He places gentle kisses on the back of the other's palm. While continuously releasing calming pheromones he continues kissing the other's palm wishing for him to be okay.
"When will you realize that you are torturing yourself." He mumbles and holds the hand in both his palms to continue giving it warmth.
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...... Midnight.....
The submissive alpha slowly opens his eyes from the deep slumber. After adjusting his vision he looks around to find himself in his private room. He sighs. If it was not for Jackson he would have to wake up in the hospital, dying of a rut.
Another sigh leaves his lips. His eyeballs roam around the room to find his best friend and finally spot him by the bed. Sleeping in an uncomfortable position while holding his hand with both of his warm ones.
A tide of guilt washes over him. The other must have been tired of the day's work, especially when this time around comes the peak hours of work. But, he still stayed to help him. He cautiously releases his hands from the other's grip and tries to proceed with his intention of giving the other his blanket, but the other is already awakened.
"You awake?"
"Yes."
"How do you feel?"
After having doses of the pills his body feels quite refreshed. Although not good for his health, he prefers taking very high doses of suppressants. This one has undoubtedly helped him.
"Refreshed!" He answers cheerfully.
Jackson smiles and gets up from his seat.
Jackson: "You drive, I sleep." While mumbling this he heads out towards the parking garage and leans on Tae's car as support.
He can not drive and not cause an accident, so he decides to ditch his car and follows the other obediently. Tae unlocks the main door and enters the house. His body seeks two things at the moment, rest and rest. While striving towards his room with his long legs he glances at the living room as a daily habit. But, his legs freeze up and his eyes go wide at the view he witnesses.
Jungkook is standing there by the dining table, crossing his hands over his chest staring at the other. Tae unconsciously moves towards the standing figure as it was his habit before. On reaching a close distance, he traces the other's handsome features. Jungkook has not changed, not at all. He takes in a deep breath after being satisfied with staring at the other. His mate is standing in front of him.
Was he probably waiting for his return? Is it probable? Never in his weirdest of dreams has he thought of Jungkook waiting for him to return. Not now at least. But today, his heart again starts weaving threads of hope to give shape to disoriented and unfinished dreams.
He manages a small smile and enquires "How have you been kookie?"
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Author N-Tk 𐤀