Nicholas
Elsa was shocked.
Shocked to the point her body gave up under her and collapsed to the ground. I grabbed her and pulled her into me, gritting my teeth as I ignored my own pain when I saw the state she was in. I didn’t give two shits about Alexei at this moment, only worrying about her. She looked numb, lost, as she tried to comprehend what I just said. For once, Alexei kept quiet and had his men stand by as he looked at Elsa .
His daughter.
He hadn’t expressed what he thought of the situation. About him having a daughter. But he was pissed at her mother for keeping away and not telling him. Twenty-five years had he lived on with his life without knowing he had a child out in the world. And to make it worse for him, his daughter thought Geotano was her father.
An Italian man who married his woman
“Come on, breathe, Elsa … There you go… Breathe.” She gasped for air and I felt how her entire body was shaking against mine. I held her tightly, even though I was struggling to stand on my own because of the pain. I knew it wasn’t long before I would lose consciousness again.
“Oh, fuck. Go get her a doctor and go fix yourself. You’re useless to me if you’re fucking dead.” Alexei sighed, even rolling his fucking eyes.
“If you pull some dumb shit, Vasiliev, you know what the consequences will be.” I told him. I didn’t need to clarify what I meant as he knew.
“You are in no position to make any threats to me.”
“Does it look like I care? Fuck up, and the blood is on your hands.” It was my final words to him before we rushed to the car.
I was slipping in and out of consciousness in the car. My heart was beating faster than I have ever experienced, and I could feel the blood that kept dripping down from my stomach. Elsa was next to me, trying to keep me awake by talking to me and tapping my cheek. But half of the ride to the hospital, I couldn’t hear what she was saying as if she was far away. That was how faint her voice sounded to me.
“…Surgery immediately!” I opened my eyes, seeing everything blurring past me.
“No surgery…” I said, trying to stop them but my body was too heavy to move and my eyes closed again of fatigue. I just needed to be stitched up and rest for a bit, and I would be fine.
“Don’t listen to him and help him, please.” Elsa’s voice sounded out, having me frown when I heard her cry.
Don’t cry, my love. Your tears are precious.
I felt her lips on mine. So soft, light, and feathery, having my heart somehow beat even faster, and spreading warmth inside of me.
Like fire, and keeping me alive.
“I love you.” She whispered, but I heard it loud and clearly.
And I love you.
Then darkness took over.
.
.
I was resting in the recovery room with IV bags attached to me, relieving my pain while I listened to Antonio as he reported everything back to me. The surgeons had to work fast on me since I had pushed my body beyond its limit.
And it almost cost me my life.
“…Everything is clear and people are getting treated.” Antonio reported and I nodded. We had faced a bigger army than expected and many of my men were injured. We had
casualties as well, but it was minimal compared to how many Geotano lost.
“We have him and his brother locked up, separately, and got the place heavily secured.”
“And Vasiliev?”
“He’s still around but keeping his distance.”
“Of course he is.” I shook my head.
“I want eyes on him at all times.” I turned my attention to the door when it opened.
“You good?” Dante asked as he stepped inside.
“Still breathing.”
“You look like shit.”
“And yet I’m still better looking than you.” I shot back, and he cracked a smile.
“How’s Tessa ?”
“She’ll make it.” dante rubbed his jaw, frowning. I knew that feeling too well. The feeling of helplessness as there was nothing he could do but wait, and pray for the best.
“Elsa is with her now.” He said, and I sighed. It’s been more than twenty-four hours and not once did she leave my side until I woke up, making sure I would be okay. Then she became restless, pacing back and forth before she decided to check on everyone else.
“How is she handling the news?” Antonio asked.
“I’m not sure. She hasn’t mentioned it yet.”
“Denial.” Dante commented, and I nodded. We all turned to look at the door when it opened.
“Oh… Am I disturbing you?” Elsa asked as she looked at us.
“No. Come here.” I held my hand out to her when she stepped inside.
“We’ll leave you be.” Antonio and Dante gave a small nod to Elsa in respect when they passed her. She placed her hand in mine and sat on the chair next to the bed. Her eyes flickered around, looking conflicted before she finally looked at me.
“How do you feel? Are you in a lot of pain?” She looked at my bandaged torso.
“I’m fine.” I reassured her, and her shoulders sagged in relief. We sat in silence and I watched her play with my fingers while avoiding looking at me.
“Elsa –
“Tessa is going to make it.” She suddenly said, still not looking at me.
“Asher l too. Gio and Logan are getting fixed up as well, and Arianna was awake. But she’s sleeping now, so…” She continued to update me on everyone’s well-being. I already knew what the status was but I let her continue, wanting her to talk instead of being silent, and drowning in her thoughts.
“And you? What’s the status on you?” A small smile appeared on her lips at my question.
“Well, I did get shot so I had to get my arm stitched. And my nose is not broken, so I will say I got pretty lucky.”Elsa let out a small breath before finally looking at me. Her arm was bandaged and her face was bruised from taking a hit.
I looked at her for a while and she started to squirm around in her seat. It was obvious she was battling something inside her head.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Everything.” She forced out a chuckle before biting down on her lip.
“Tell me.” I spoke to her softly, and her eyes started to glisten.
“Why would you say something like that to me?” I held her hand tightly in mine. It sent a jolt in my heart at the sight of her innocent green eyes filled with tears. She looked vulnerable, conflicted, and broken. It all showed in her eyes like a raging storm.
“That night… I saw her with my own eyes, so why would you say that to me?” I cupped her face with my hand, wiping her tears away with my thumb.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I should have shown you instead.”
“Nicholas, please, stop… It’s messing with my head.” She whispered. I never hated myself as much as I did right this moment with the way she was looking at me. So fragile. I wanted to cradle her in my arms, comfort and protect her. To tell her everything would be okay.
But will it be?
I had no idea what would happen after this.
“What are you doing? No, no, you can’t do that!” I ignored her as I pulled out the needles attached to me.
“Can you get me a shirt from the bag?” I asked her while I moved to get up from the hospital bed.
“No! You can’t just do as you please when you just had surgery. Stop moving!” Elsa tried to stop me but didn’t know how as she was afraid of hurting me. She placed her hands on my chest and I grabbed her wrists, pulling her close to me.
“I-I almost lost you, please stop…
“Look at me.” I had to talk to her firmly before she would listen.
“I’m fine. I’m alive, and I’m not leaving you anytime soon.” Her innocent eyes looked at me with tears threatening to spill.
“Do you promise?” I gave her a soft smile.
Shit, she is too cute for her own good.
“I promise.”
.
Elsa looked around anxiously, barely able to sit still in the car. She thought I had gotten hit on the head too many times, and suffered partial memory loss. I didn’t try to convince her otherwise and just let her see with her own two eyes.
We stepped out of the car at the safe house. She looked around and her hand tightened around mine when she noticed how much security there was. She gulped as her breathing changed but managed to take a deep breath.
I took a quick glance at the car that followed us. It was Vasiliev because he loved to be a pain in my ass, and wouldn’t let me get anything done in peace. I gave him a warning glare, reminding him to wait outside until Elsa got the time she needed.
“Shoot him if he tries anything.” I told Antonio and Giovanni, having them keep an eye on him.
“Don’t need to tell me twice.” Giovanni kept his gaze on Vasiliev with his gun ready. Vasiliev was leaning against the car with his arms crossed as if he had no care in the world. Elsa was too lost in her thoughts to realize what was going.
I lead her inside the house, noticing the slight tremble in her body as she walked. I looked at her when we stopped right in front of the double doors. I wanted to say something to her. To somehow prepare her. But how could I prepare her when she was about to see her dead mother alive?
Instead, I kissed her head in a lousy attempt to comfort her.
I opened the doors, my eyes landing on Jessica sitting on the couch with her usual mug in her hands. She got on her feet when she saw it was me.
“I have a visitor for you.” Jessica’s eyes slightly narrowed in confusion. I stepped aside and she let out a gasp when she saw Elsa.
Elsa didn’t say anything, her eyes wide. She was frozen in place as she looked at her mother.
“… Mamá?” She whispered with tears.
“Elsa, my baby.” Jessicacried out, coming closer. She stopped when Elsa took a step away. I frowned, noticing how her chest rose and fell too fast.
She was having a panic attack.
“Elsa.” I reached out for her but she flinched away from my touch.
“Don’t touch me!” She stumbled back, hitting the door before she turned around and ran.
“No. Stay here.” I stopped Jessica when she tried to go after Elsa.I knew she would be shocked and in denial but I wasn’ t prepared for this kind of reaction and run away.
I gritted my teeth, walking as fast as I could in the direction she ran off. This fucking gunshot wound was limiting me too much.
I stepped outside to the garden, watching her leaning against a tree to catch her breath.
“Elsa...” I frowned, looking at the state she was in.
“Stop! Just.. please stop. Don’t come any closer.” She closed her eyes, trying her best to control her breathing. I clenched my fists in frustration. Frustrated with me that I was the cause of this. I stood still, watching her cry and gasp for air. And I would rather get shot a hundred times more than see her like this.
“How… How could you do this to me?!” Elsa shouted at me with so much anger than I had ever seen from her. Her innocent, green eyes turned into ones with a rage-filled storm.
And betrayal.
“I did what I believed was the best at the time.” I spoke to her calmly, even though my heart was about to race out of my chest, realizing this could be what drove her away from me. Elsa laughed. But not her usual sweet, joyful laughter that I loved so much, the one that always made me feel like the luckiest man alive.
No.
This one was void of any emotions while looking so torn apart.
“Do you realize how fucked up that is? How fucking sick that is? I was broken to pieces! Mourning her death to the point I had to get away from people. Even away from you. You saw me… How could you watch me go through so much pain, and have me believe I had lost my mother forever?” She sobbed to me, her voice cracking in the process. I clenched my fists.
“I know. It killed me to see you like that. But it was something that had to be done. To protect your mother. She was in a coma for weeks. It was uncertain if she would make it. It would have made her an easier target for Geotano to finish the job if she was known to be alive.” I talked to her softly and eyed her reaction. I didn’t want to send her into another panic, attack.
Elsa’s brows pinched together.
“You knew about Geotano?!” She shouted in disbelief.
“I had my suspicions about it. I wanted a DNA test taken to be completely sure.”
“Oh, my God…” Elsa breathed out and grabbed her head when I explained everything to her. That I’ve been digging deeper into the whole mess ever since she showed me the old photo of her mother and Alexei Vasiliev.
Telling her how I was almost a hundred percent sure that Alexei Vasiliev was her biological father. and the planted microphone in it.
Telling her how I connected everything back to Geotano from the first attack to the last.
Telling her the original plan of taking down Geotano before she became part of my life.
Telling her the plan at the wedding to try and take him down as quietly as possible.
I wanted to come clean and let everything out in the open.
I didn’t want anymore more secrets.
But now, I had no idea what the fuck would happen to us.
“… I didn’t think you would understand if I told you.” I finished. There were many times I wanted to tell her. To put an end to her pain. To let her know that I was faking her mother’s death and that everything would be okay.
But I couldn’t in fear of losing her. Because I was one selfish bastard and I didn’t want to live one day without her.
She was the one who mattered to me.
She is my world.
Mine.... Mine to claim...Mine to love.
“See, that’s where you fucked up, Nicholas . You always think along those lines, that I wouldn’t understand and keep all these secrets from me. But you don’t even make an effort to explain for me to understand.” Elsa spat out, fury still storming in her eyes.
“I didn’t want to involve you.”
“You can’t just pick and choose what you want to involve me in! This is my life too!”
“Elsa…” I stepped closer to her but she held her hand up to stop me.
“I want to understand your reasons. Part of me probably understands what you had to do, but right now… I’m just so… upset with you. I’m overwhelmed and confused. I just need… space. Some time to think and process everything.” Elsa leaned against the tree, wiping her tears away while she looked completely lost.
I had seen her like this before. The day when I nearly went completely insane because she had to get away from me.
“Are you leaving me?” The question came out before I could crumple it up and shove it away into a deep, dark corner, and just live with the fact she was deciding to leave me.
Elsa looked at me, surprised that I had asked that. But I couldn’t blame her if she wanted to. I couldn’t even be mad at her like I had been the last time she went away. I had once again proven just how fucked up I was and what a fucked up world I was living in.
Her expression softened and I watched her eyes get filled up with fresh tears. I even had to let out a breath, bracing myself for the answer that was about to come.
At least I would spare her from more pain.
“No… I’m not leaving you, Nicholas.” She slowly walked up to me, and it was incredible how my heart didn’t explode by how fast it was pounding. She placed her hands on my cheeks, and I wrapped my arms around her, not wanting her to put distance between us.
I needed to hold her. To have her close to me.
“My love, you’re stuck with me for life. I just need a minute or two to process things… I’m not exactly used to things being handled Mafia style.” She gave me a soft smile and I rested my head against hers. Relief couldn’t describe what I was feeling at the moment.
We are going to be okay.
I didn’t say anything and just pulled her into me, burying my face into her neck, and inhaling her scent.
“Nicholas , you have to let go.” She mumbled against my shoulder.
“Let me just hold you for now.” I said, not ready to let her out of my arms yet.
“No, I’m about to throw up on you if you don’t move now.” I stepped away just in time for her to throw up behind the tree. I held her hair as she continued to throw up.
“Let’s get you inside.” I led her inside again once she was done. She was exhausted and she needed to rest.
I led her to one of the bedrooms on the other side of the house to make sure she wouldn’t bump into her mother for now. This safe-house was much bigger than the one she had stayed in, making it possible to create some distance between them.
Elsa slumped tiredly on the bed, closing her eyes, and took deep breaths to keep the sickness down. I went back downstairs to grab a few things and a bottle of water and electrolytes to keep her hydrated.
I briefly closed my eyes, clenching my jaw when the pain was starting to appear. I popped a few painkillers, even though they wouldn’t do much to ease the pain later. I went back to the staircase when Jessica showed up, looking around for Elsa.
“How is she?” Her eyes darted upstairs, contemplating if she should go up.
“She will be okay. She just needs some time to process before seeing you again.” I told her. I could tell she was worried but I couldn’t let her see Elsa now.
Jessica nodded as she let out a sigh. I went on my way upstairs but stopped at her words.
“She lost the baby that night, didn’t she?” I didn’t turn around to face her. The mention of the baby still gave me a tight feeling in my chest.
“Yes.” I glanced at her over my shoulder, seeing the somber look on her face.
“You have another visitor outside. Alexei Vasiliev.” Jessica looked shocked but her expression quickly turned into a frown with a cold stare.
“What is he doing here?” | scoffed.
“You have a lot of shit to explain. You lied and deceived people, what the fuck did you expect?” I said curtly and made my way to Elsa.
I shut the door behind me, hearing her throw up once again in the bathroom. She came out after she had washed up. I sat her on the bed and gave her the bottle of water.
“Take this one too.” Elsa stared too long at the pregnancy test in my hand before looking at me.
“I heard you get sick at the hospital too. Just take it so we can be sure.” I told her softly.
“Okay.” She finally agreed. I’ve been wanting her to take one for a while now, but she had insisted it was too early to tell considering it wasn’t that long ago we decided to try for a baby. I had a weird feeling about it, and even if it turned out negative, at least I would know she was sick because of exhaustion and being overwhelmed.
Elsa drank the water and we waited until she had to go. And the minute she went inside the bathroom, I couldn’t stand still. I paced the floor to keep busy in a way and waited, wondering what was taking long, only checking my watch to see she had only been in there for a minute.
The door opened and I immediately went to her, waiting for her to tell me anything.
“It says to wait three to five minutes.” She wrapped her arms around herself while I checked the watch on my wrist.
“Okay.” My patience couldn’t stand it but I still tried to keep it cool. I sat with her on the bed, her head resting on my shoulder as I rubbed her back in silence.
The three minutes felt like hours as I continued to keep an eye on the time. I was getting too impatient, wanting to see the result already.
“It’s time.” I told Elsa,and she bit down on her lip, looking unsure.
“Can you check?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to?” I asked and she nodded.
I went to the bedroom, seeing the test on the counter. Strange feelings filled my body and I took a small, deep breath as I picked it up. I looked at it and turned around to face Elsa.
“Pregnant.” I smiled, unable to keep it in. Excitement flooded me and I had to look at the pregnancy test again to be sure.
Pregnant
Written in fat, black bold letters.
I could barely believe it as a smile kept lingering on my lips.
Fucking hell.. She is pregnant!
I looked back at Elsa, my smile slowly faded when I saw her looking broken.
“Do you not want it? Did you change your mind?” I asked, not understanding why she was looking so devastated by the news.
“… I’m bleeding.” She whispered.
Time stopped and I felt the whole world crash.