I LOVE YOU – COCONUT MALL
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Today is a busy day. You have to put on the next gear for your wedding. You've been talking about it a huge amount of a lot but still haven't start to plan it.
Tom still has hopes to celebrate it in August. He says the temperatures are hotter which would be more comfortable for your guests, to what you replied August temperatures are too hot and you don't want to look all sweaty on your pictures. Then he said celebrating it at the end of august would be the best early present you can give him, to what you answered you don't want your wedding to be associated with his birthday; this should be your shared day and not some kind of present for him, to what he replied all your important dates (his proposal and the day you started dating) were on your birthday, to what you said it's not your fault if he chose to propose on your birthday and you shouldn't pay for it. He also tries to play the aesthetic card, saying that you could take night pictures under the shooting stars rain, to what you replied most cameras aren't performant enough to catch shooting stars and a nice smile at the same time.
Your arguments for a June wedding are solid like concrete. First, the days are longer so the magical moment would last more, to what he said that people will feel guilty to start drinking before sun sets. Then you said more guests would be available because the summer holidays won't have started yet, to what he answered you're giving a year notice to the attendees and if they're not too stupid they won't book holidays on that period. You kept on with the summer holiday argument, saying it would be easier to leave for your honeymoon right after the wedding, to what he made you touch some grass, reminding you you can't afford to pay for a wedding AND a huge honeymoon in the same year. You're now playing your last card:
- We already told my dad we were getting married in June!
- Because you forced me! He groans. I'm sure he won't mind if we do it in August.
- But I will.
- I don't care. August will be easier to celebrate our wedding anniversaries when we'll have a career.
- No. You point at him with your finger. It will just be easier for you because you'll be able to say "oh, it's our 25th anniversary but I'm turning 50 in 2 days, let's celebrate it at the same time". You imitate his voice.
- What would be so wrong? It would be cheaper to organize! He rolls his eyes.
- I don't want our wedding to be about your stupid birthday!
- But it won't! People will even forget about my birthday because it will be the best ceremony they've ever seen!
- Just for one year! Then it will be the spotlight on your birthday again. And have you thought of Bill?
- What about Bill?
- May I remind you you're sharing a birthday? How would he feel about us stealing his birthday?
- He won't care. If Bill had a word in this, he'd like to marry us every day of the year!
- Every day but one, you raise an eyebrow.
- Good thing about August, it's not that one day!
- Ughhh, it seriously starts to piss you off.
Tom doesn't talk. He is intelligent enough to know he is about to start a war if he continues. You take a deep breath, you have to clear out your thoughts and be reasonable again.
- I know how we're going to pick, you have a cold smile.
- I'm all ears.
- Heads or Tails.
- No, he smiles.
- Head I win, Tail you lose. You carry on.
- Nah, I see what you're doing here, he crosses his arms. How about Head you lose and Tail I win?
- Okay. This solution won't work either. How about you think about a number between 1 and 5 and if we think about the same number, we're going for June?
- You're going to cheat, he shakes his head no.
- Shut up and do it.
- Okay. 3,14159, he shrugs his shoulders.
- That's not a number! How do you want me to think about the same one? You contest.
- Tell it to the mathematicians trying to figure out Pi.
- I meant whole numbers!
- And you were going to cheat! Anyway, I won with Pi, it's going to be in August. He smirks.
- If it's in August, I'm going to ask my mom to be involved in the preparative, you menace.
- That's your nightmare, not mine, he sticks his tongue out.
- Okay, your tone is scary. If we get married in August, I'll do a sex strike. You raise an eyebrow.
- Yes, like it would change a lot, he rolls his eyes.
- Hey, that was mean!
You can't really say your sex agenda is full recently, it's more like the Sahara actually. No matter how many times you've tried, the positions, what turned you on, any variable, it just doesn't work anymore. It's been almost 2 months! Two months when only Tom is getting pleased because it's just super painful for you and it doesn't even go inside anymore. 2 months when you've been on numerous dates, trying to relax for it to work, but no. It's seriously frustrating! You know Tom won't admit it out loud, but you can tell he starts to doubt himself; he starts to doubt how you feel about him... God knows all you want is to jump on him, but the doctor said that you've been through a hard time recently and it could take years to work again. He said "just relax", as if you could relax and stop thinking about how you're not able to please Tom correctly anymore. It's all you can think about recently. You love him, you don't get why your body can't get over a minor inconvenience...
- Yes. I'm sorry. Tom approaches you for a hug.
- You know what? You ask while being in his arms.
- Tell me? He kisses the top of your head.
- The best apology would be to get married in June; you maliciously smile.
- No.
- But we already told my dad!
This conversation has been looping for almost an hour now...
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- I like this one, you show him a picture on your computer. He's doing researches too.
You've decided the best way to end the debate was to find a venue and see the availability of the place. You're oddly going to only like the ones unavailable in August...
- But look here, he scrolls down to the additional information, we need to invite at least 200 people for this place, he sighs.
- 200? I don't even know if we can invite 100 persons, you massage your temples.
- How many people are on your guests list?
- People I really want to invite? Five. And you're one of them.
- Who is number five? He counts on his fingers.
- Astrid, you roll your eyes. He so easily forgets about her...
- How about Charlotte?
- I don't want her to cry all evening long because she's single or her boyfriend sucks... Charlotte is nice but she can be pretty annoying.
- What about the rest of the list? He smiles.
- Not started yet... You're starting to have a headache. Yours?
- I was planning on my mom to give a list of my family members we need to invite... He seems sheepish.
- We're a beautiful bunch of no-hopers, you nervously laugh. We're doing everything wrong.
- Give yourself a break, it's the first time we're doing it. We can't just guess what we're supposed to do, he tries to cheer you up.
- Tom, you chuckle. We're getting married in a year. Most people start to prepare this kind of things at least a year and a half in advance.
- That's why we have to pick August, he smirks. That'd give us more time.
- For god's sake, forget about August. I won't let you do that!
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- What's the emergency for? Georg asks.
It's sadly already night time, at only 5:30 on a freezing Sunday evening. Tom and you asked the boys to meet you on a parking lot about 40 minutes ago, using the words "super important emergency". All boys answered present and are now freezing on this parking lot. Bonus point for Linda coming too, at least she can have all the fun too.
- Do you see these two shopping carts? You smile.
- Yes.
- I'm going to need you to get inside of it, you look like a devilish angel.
- Wait. That's your emergency? I cancelled a date for you!
- You cancelled a date for the biggest Mario Kart session ever! Tom seems vicious.
You're going to have so much fun!
Your wedding planning didn't go as planned as you realized you were missing all the essentials point. And none of you can stay focus for a long time on something boring (yes, picking which one of your parents' friends you're going to invite is boring), you started to get away from the subject. After diverse talk about grocery shopping and how much you need a TV to play videogames, you and Tom came up with the stupidest idea ever, yet most exciting thing of your day.
You want to recreate a live Mario Kart, with the music and everything... You picked an empty parking lot and prepared a circuit as well as fake boxes with tiny papers with the name of an object inside of it.
- Is that some kind of sick joke? Gustav seems a bit mad.
You exchange a look with Tom, you're doing all you can not to burst into laughter.
- You only think of it as a joke because you know you're going to lose; the flame of competition inhabits Georg.
- No, but we're going to die if we use shopping carts... Bill looks a bit scared.
- Depends if you trust your driver, you smile.
- I'm not playing, no way. Gustav crosses his arms.
- Great, because we need someone to hold the item boxes, Tom assigns the roles.
- Nah, I'm not a box-holder, Gustav almost sulks.
- Then what do you want to do? Tom starts losing patience. Driver, Karter or referee?
- What's the difference with Driver and Karter? Bill asks.
- Driver runs and pushes the shopping cart. Karter is inside and attacks the other team, you explain.
- I want to be an attacker, Georg smirks.
- Fine. You nod your head yes. Let's pick our teams.
The teams are unsurprisingly unsurprising. Gustav refused to just stand on the side, no matter how much he thinks your idea his stupid. So it's him driving Georg while the twins teamed up. It will be Tom against Gustav and Georg against Bill. Linda was a bit scared to stand in the middle of the road with the boxes, so she'll be the referee while you'll have the dangerous role of box-holder.
You draw a circuit with a chalk on the road, indicating the beginning of the race and where you'll have to stand with your boxes.
- Ready? You shout to the players.
A determined silence answers you. You count to three and start the Coconut Mall music that you downloaded on your phone for the occasion.
Georg burst into laughter as soon as he hears the music. Team Kaulitz starts running a bit too early, making a false start. Linda is already super into her referee role and penalize them with a 10-seconds forced stop, leading Team Gs to have a nice head-start. But that was without counting on the faulty wheels of their cart, dragging them straight into the scenery from the first turn.
The rules are formal, getting out of the race track leads to a 5-seconds walk penalty, allowing Team Kaulitz to take back the lead. There is a "long" straight line from now on, and it's time for your first job. You quickly go to the middle of the road, not thinking about any potential collision. You grab your two boxes full of "items" and imitate Rio's Christ the Redeemer, waiting for Georg and Bill to grab a paper out of your boxes.
It was probably the most terrifying moment of your life, seeing 2 full-speed shopping carts going straight on you, one of them doing waves due to the faulty wheels. You thought you'd die on this parking lot. Both boys used a different strategy to get their items. Team Kaulitz was standing up in their cart, trying to push away Team Gs out of the way. On the other hand, Team Gs was solidly sitting in the cart, running straight to you. As you were screaming like a boy discovering tampons, Team Gs grabbed their item, laughing like idiots. Team Kaulitz missed the box, too busy with attacking the other team.
- We got bananas, Georg shouts, reading his paper.
- Then throw your banana, you shout back.
- Okay, he throws the paper in the air. BANANA! He attacks Team Kaulitz.
- You missed us, you loser, Bill laughs.
- Fault! You have to stop running for 5 seconds, Linda penalizes them.
You're a bit outraged. There was no fault at all, she is obviously favouriting Gustav's team, that's unfair. But that's also funny, seeing how the twins protest strongly but still respect Linda's orders.
Tom is now doing his best running performance ever, running faster than a leopard to overtake Gustav. Gustav has more strength than Tom in his arms, making the exercise easier for him, but Tom is faster. They have pretty much the same chances to win.
Bill tries to attack Georg, which is working. One good push of Bill and the Gs are in the scenery again, forced to walk and take a break. Another wild turn team Kaulitz almost fails while team Gs who was going a bit slower follows it perfectly.
You're ready for your second time to shine, with your arms open wide. This time, team Kaulitz is scarily running straight on you, not a few centimetres away, but literally on you. That's why you took a big jump away, causing both teams to miss their items. You had the right to hear the best protestations concert ever, just for your pretty eyes. Linda reminded the players that you're the one deciding whether they could have a box or not.
It's the final sprint, the Gs have no chances, their shopping cart is all wild, not going straight. They are not that far from the Kaulitz but they lose time trying to stay in line.
- Go, go, go!!! You cheer near the finish line.
Tom is winning exactly 4.7 seconds before Gustav.
- That was unfair! Gustav contests. Georg is heavier than Bill and my kart was broken, I demand another race!
- Hey! I'm not heavy, I'm full of love!
- Linda, get in the cart, Gustav wants his revenge.
- You will lose again, Bill teases him.
- Shut up, Linda will destroy you.
- But Linda doesn't want to get in the cart. Linda wants to stay referee; she talks about herself 3rd person.
- Y/N, get in the cart, Gustav turns to you.
- You wouldn't, Tom menaces you.
- Okay, you smile, switching place with Georg.
- You traitor, Tom almost spits.
Your "mad kart" is quite uncomfortable. You have to find a position that will allow you to attack Bill easily, communicate with Gustav simply and grab your items in a second. And not less important, not fall. You find the perfect position, to the detriment of your knees.
- Ready?
- Let's go!
- Ready? Set. Go! Georg starts the Coconut Mall music.
It goes fast, faster than expected. It's definitely not F1 speed but it's enough for your vision to be a bit blurry. It's actually scary. The first turn is right in front of you, you're ready for it. You bend on your side, trying to help with the centrifugal force. Which is a fail.
- Out of trail, 5 seconds for Gustav and Y/N, you vaguely hear Linda scream.
Those 5 seconds of walk are a blessing, you can finally see correctly again. The twins are not that far, you really have a chance to beat them if you get the right item out of Georg.
- Hurry up! You order Gustav. Your 5 seconds are over.
Georg is not far. Bill is almost at his level, his arm extended to grab a paper. But that's when Georg choses to sneeze, moving his arm last second, making Bill miss his shot.
That's your turn now, you're ready to jump to get your item.
It goes fast, but it goes well.
- Blue shell, you shout, laughing a bit.
- You bitch, Tom curses.
- 5 seconds total stop for the twins, Linda orders.
Your team is taking the head, you overtake the twins. You can't help laughing, that's the best part of this game. Winning and making them lose. Tom gives you a finger and you blow him a kiss, laughing.
- Run, run, run, you stress Gustav.
You have the lead and you don't want to lose it! Another dangerous turn that makes you lose your balance and almost takes you to the scenery.
Your survival instincts are alerted by Bill's gargantuan laugh. They're running straight into your shopping cart, trying to push you. You'll have to fight with Bill to survive.
Your carts are side to side, only a few centimetres away while you fight with Bill's like kitten, trying to push him away from you. Tom and Gustav are focusing on hitting each other's carts.
- Ouch, careful with your nails, Bill complains.
- I always tell her to cut them, you can swear Tom just rolled your eyes but you can't check.
You seize the opportunity of their distraction to push Bill roughly out of your way, which worked as Linda give them a 5 seconds penalty. You wish you could high-five Gustav right now, but it's impossible.
- Aaaaaaargh, this is literally a war call.
The boys are coming back, stronger than ever, and run straight to you like a bullet.
They hit your cart with force, causing Gustav to let go of your amazing kart. You're doing a few slow drifts, before ending up far away from the trail.
- You cheaters! You insult the twins, getting out of your shopping cart.
- You played, you lose, Tom winks.
You open your mouth, forming a perfect O. You have so many things to answer right now, but none of them are nice and you don't want to end up this game single. Even if the asshole in front of you would deserve it.
- See? You're not answering because you know we're right, Bill pushes.
- Don't get me started, your tone is colder than Russia.
The little burst of fear both the twins have make you feel very powerful right now. Stupid kids will learn the lesson.
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- I'm cold, your nose keeps on running.
It's the 5th game of the night. You only won one of them, when you teamed up with Georg. You were super disappointed to lose with Tom, even if he is the one with the most victories. He only lost one game, the one with you...
- Do you want my jacket? Tom offers.
- Are you crazy? You're going to be sick!
- Thank you! I was really hoping you'd refuse because I'm fucking cold too, he laughs.
- Can we go home? You play with his fingers.
- Now? But we're only getting started! His eyes are sparkling.
- Tom, we've been here for an hour and a half. Which is super long when it's 1°C outside.
- But Bill hasn't won anything yet... Tom seems disappointed to stop.
- You can stay here if you want, you laugh a bit. I know the way home, I can do it alone, you smile.
- But who's going to hold out the boxes? He pouts.
- I'm sure Linda won't mind; you pet his shoulder.
- Who's going to be referee then? He tries to convince you.
- Linda has a higher IQ than all of you reunited, you tease him. I'm sure she can do both at the same time.
- What about -he starts again but you cut him.
- I'll be home, and I'll make some crepes for dinner. What do you think about it? You try to distract him.
- Crepes? With hot chocolate? He looks like a kid.
- And whipped cream too.
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Spoiler alert, you were too lazy to prepare the crepes, but you did prepare hot chocolate that will be cold by the time Tom comes home.
You're back at the amazingly horrible task that is preparing your wedding, starting with the beginning: picking your guests. You and Tom have found the perfect venue, a place both of you like and is cheaper in June as it's off-season (you're going to win the argument!) but you have to invite at least 150 people to book the venue.
You don't see the point of inviting people you don't really like. You may know 100 people but you regularly see a maximum of 15 person. Why would you bother to pay for more attendees? A wedding is supposed to be intimate and a celebration of love, not a show-off to that 3rd degree cousin you've been compared to all your life that you're doing better than them (even if it's really satisfying).
After a lot of thinking and hypocrisy, you finally have a list of 78 people you'd "like" to invite. Tom will be proud of you!
Now that the hard work is done, you can finally take a well-deserved break for another boring task: having a shower. Showering is either the best moment of your day or the most annoying thing on Earth. Today is annoying day.
That's why you're spending an entire lifetime under the hot water. You got distracted by your own thoughts, it was more interesting than the reality. Jimmy Fallon was asking you how it was to be the first part of Devilish, the famous group your boyfriend formed, because in this reality your boys were famous. You were telling Jimmy how cool it was and the love you were receiving from the fan was awesome. In this reality, you were not dating Tom. In this reality, Jimmy tried to trap you into saying you were in love with Tom, to what you said there was nothing between you two. But you were lying. There was something unadmitted off-camera. A game between the two of you, a tension, but nothing actually happening. In this reality, there was not enough bed at the hotel so you had to share it with Tom. In this reality, you were able to have sex and gosh, it was pleasing.
And you're now all disappointed about the real life. No sex, frustration and no flirt anymore.
- We're breaking up, you announce as soon as Tom come in the apartment.
Poor thing looks completely lost. His mouth is open but no words come out of it. The room is completely silent.
- Is it because I let you come home alone? His face is transformed by sadness. I'm really sorry. His voice sounds weird. He takes two big steps to come by your side and grabs your hand.
- Don't worry babe, you pet his temple with your thumb. I just don't want us to be a couple anymore. But I love you, I promise.
He looks more than confused. He let go of your hand and you can see the rummage of his brain trying to understand what is going on.
- I'm tired of us knowing we belong together, you know? I want wild! I want unexpected! You smile.
- You're breaking up with me because you're bored? He seems hurt.
- I'm breaking up with you momentarily. I just want us to flirt again, you know... Feel the tension and not being sure I can get you; you explain.
- So if I get you well, he starts to smile, you want a one night-stand with me?
- Pretty much, you nod your head yes.
- And then you'll be my girl again?
- Only if you can seduce me, you wink.
- Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes. He looks at you up and down and play with his lip piercing.
- That's so cheesy, you hide yourself in his shoulder.
- I'm really glad to see we're already on a physical basis, he winks.
- You know, I couldn't help but notice your smile from across the room. I can't resist to it, you play along.
- I bet it's not the only thing about me that will make you lose control.
- Smooth, you blush.
- So, do you come here often? He shows you the living-room.
- Well, I pretty much live here, you smile.
- What a coincidence! I happen to live here too! He laughs. How come we're not married yet?
- I'd say the year notice it takes to organize a wedding, you smile.
- Right. Tell me, what's your idea of a perfect date? I have to know if we're a perfect match.
- Well, it starts with a handsome braided boy, then a few jokes, and a night full of adventures.
- I'm sure I can qualify for all of your requirements.
- How about we make it happen? You play with your fingers on his chest.
- How about I get rid of this ugly PJ of yours? He puts his hands on your waist.
- That's your t-shirt! You laugh.
- I have horrible taste in t-shirts then. It's to compensate my amazing taste in beautiful women.
- Oh boy...
You kiss him. That's not exactly the tension you were expecting tonight but it will do the job. Tension is only when you shouldn't or can't get the person you want. With Tom, it can only be cheesy anymore... Yet, you prefer being in love with him to any fantasy you can ever have.
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. MATURE CONTENT MY DEAR FRIENDS
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He grabs your ass to carry you across the room while you cross your legs around his waist. You don't really know where he takes you, you're busy with kissing his neck endlessly. His skin tastes like the sweetest dish.
He puts you down on your bed - you should have known, he's forever a bed-type of person- and kisses you on your sternum, on top of the fabric.
- You smell like me, he smiles.
You have something sarcastic to answer to that but it would ruin the mood.
You grab the bottom of his shirt, the one he is wearing, to take it off. As soon as his skin is exposed to you, you start kissing every inch you can reach. You take your hands to touch his back, rubbing it slowly, feeling the definition of his muscles and bones. You touch everything you can, his shoulders, his neck, the dimples in his back, the top of his jeans, all this while he kisses you passionately. This kiss is like your personal dose of heroin, you're literally drunk in love.
He puts his hand below your shirt and caresses the contour of your abs, your bellybutton, the definition of your ribs and finally grabs your boobs. He kneads them as your breath is becoming shorter and you try to hold on to him, already losing your mind.
You take one of his hands and move it to your belly, you want him to touch you, to envelop you. You put your head back as he follows your silent order and get rid of your shirt.
Your hands reach the button of his jeans, ready to take them off. While he undresses, you take the time to look at him up and down, lovingly covering every detail of his body.
He comes back on top of you and attacks your neck again. You rub your hands on his back, going lower and lower, to his ass and finally move your fingers to the interesting side of his body.
- Stop, he is panting.
You raise an eyebrow. You're not really used to him refusing a hand-job.
- It's either we come together or I don't come at all, he kisses you.
You can't help but let slip a little "aww" as he gives you an affectionate smile. You lock your arms behind his neck and pull him in for another kiss.
His hands are playing with your bellybutton, and slowly gets closer to the interesting part. Everything is interesting but you know what I mean.
He gently rubs his fingers against you and the pleasure goes to each of your nerves. It's only the beginning but you know you need more. You push him closer to you, scratching his back in the meantime.
He has fun teasing you for a while, your hips are moving by themselves, begging for more.
The critical step is about to happen. He approaches his finger to you very carefully and locks his eyes in yours.
- Ready? He makes sure you're feeling it right. There's no point of trying if you already know it's going to be painful.
You nod your head yes, grabbing his chin for a quick kiss before serious things start.
He pulls one finger in you. You hope he didn't see you move. It hurts. But you have strong hopes that if he carries on, the pain will go away and it will finally work again!
He doesn't move, he his checking your face. You hope you have a good poker face.
- One, you're a terrible actress, he comments your silence. Two, are you aware I can feel it's not okay? He kisses your inner thigh.
- How do you always know what I'm thinking? It's intriguing, you can't hide anything.
- Because one, you're a terrible actress and two, because I love you.
- If you know me that well, then you know I want us to try anyway, you pull him in for a kiss.
- There's no point in hurting you babe. It won't help the situation; he kisses you back.
- Ugh...
You give up and lay down like a starfish. Tom is not even trying... You have to push destiny a bit! You're tired of this "situation" as he says. It will not magically open again, you have to force the entrance! Or both of you can register into the orders by the end of the year...
- I seriously think we should try the backdoor, Tom smirks, trying another approach.
- Not even in your wildest dreams.
- Too late, he winks.