A Blossom in the desert

Aftermath

Assalamualaikum lovelies ! *Peeks behind the wall while giving my best appeasing smile*I know ,I know I have gone for really long but I had real reasons to be ,first it began with my sudden exams and as I was hardly done rowing out of them, I ended up falling sick ,like really bad and I just had hardly recovered when my vivas got announced and just in between I ended up contacting eye infection ....so you see it has been quite a ride but Alhamdulillah I am good ...but still sorry and thank you for patience .

Secondly ,this chapter is the longest till now ,well you already know all of my chapters are but this defeats them outrightly ,I had thought to dissect then into two parts but then I cancelled it .So it's kind of like mega episode compensating for being gone for so long .So I will be impressed who read it at one go but I know it will be difficult so read it at your own pace , if you feel bored and find it time consuming leave it and come back some another time to read but please don't skip through the chapter and please comments along way pleaseeeee....I love you all immensely who do but who don't ...come on I am giving an exquisite opportunity to make me perform the sunnah of smiling ...think of how many good deeds you will earn ...

*Brain whispering* sometimes certain portion of my parts refuse to work so you can ignore the last sentence...

*Me whispering* Just skip the above whispering ...😂

And dedicating this chapter to a bundle of joy who I couldn't meet in this world but I pray I do in hereafter.Please pray for his mother ,who is the most amazing person and her entire family ...

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A serene cadence created by orchestra of feathery bards as they flew around against the vast deep magnetic blue sky only dishevelled by orange natural lamp slowly and steadily rising up at the horizon ,casting a mystical spell around the flurry clouds .

Yet a pungent chillness lingered in the atmosphere like a hush whisper of the changing climate .

Boughs of trees dazzled like new brides, ornamented with bunching delicate flowers that dallied in the air with the strokes of wind while some graciously accepting their descend down on the earth ,to be crushed or to just wither away.The viridiscent leaves has started accepting the silent arrival of autumn ,with some had already began preparing to rust away slowly while some opted for a colourful departure .

The spring was taking its last breath yet it all seemed more vibrant and magical than ever ,with floral world blooming to its full spectrum as bees and butterflies flutter around to taste the sweet nectar of farewell and not be left behind in the preparation for the upcoming winter or maybe just wanting to deprive themselves of the inevitable closing reality of everything vanishing away,they had come to love and cherish .

With trees blooming not just with flowers and fruits but it seemed rainbows of the sky had prevailed down as the leaves had began shrouding themselves in not just usual greens but yellow ,red and rusting brown ....it seemed like a festival yet hiding somewhere a melancholy in it .

But how magnificently the nature veiled it's sorrow in its bosom ,how the flowers kept blooming despite losing its part slowly and steadily ,how the trees blossomed so elegantly yet knowing and aware ,how inevitable was it succeeding fate ,where everything it held dear will perish away ,leaving it behind all alone and lonely .Did ever these branches thought of these sorrowful thoughts ? Did they ever  ? The new spring will bring new hope ,new leaves ,new flowers and fruits but what about the one it will lose this year ,what about the feelings it held for them ,will it be same for the next year's sprouts of spring ,and even if it was ,would it be easy to forget everyone it held so close to its life all this time ...

They all say ,life is about coming and going ,but what one is supposed to do, when even after it had gone ,it still never left your heart ,it was still stuck deep inside you, resurfacing at it own whim .Leaving you in a conundrum that you should forget them or keep remembering ,as if, you forget ,it seems like a betrayal to the memories and moments and if you keep remembering who have gone then it seems like an injustice to the one who are in your life ,in the present .

Was it really easy to let go when you have held on so tightly or was it a purulent pain of keep holding on when nothing was left on the other side.

To let go or hold on .

To be or not to be.

Questions like such wrecked his mind as Khaled sat near the grave of Dr Duraid, next to the fresh grave of Dr Isa whose burial had ended half an hour ago .People had slowly and steadily dispersed away ,moving back to their lives but Khaled couldn't seem to retrace his steps back .It felt all the emotion he had restrained inside his heart was now thrashing out of the ascertain boundaries as finally mysteries had unveiled but the reality it had curtain down was unprecedented and unexpected .Every puzzle pieces had settled down to its correct order but this settlement had only ensued more disorientation and disarray ,a wild mayhem in all it sense .A friend killing his own best friend .Khaled never in his dream had thought this unveiling of truth would come at such heavy costs ,that it even dwindled and blurred the lines of what was wrong and what was right to feel and express.

There was anger , resentment and disappointment churning in his heart although there was abysmal relief of finding Emaan and everything finally coming to its conclusion yet still what most dominated was pain ,a searing ,scathing pain as finally with every denouement , the acceptance of realisation had also made dawn in his heart ,that Dr Duraid was gone forever ,that he had lost his mentor who was more of a father forever .He was never a orphan but now losing Dr Duraid he felt like one and it came with sense of lost and abandonment pain ,that Khaled couldn't hold the rising emotions in his heart ,mostly anguish and disdain towards himself for failing to protect the one who protected him in so many ways .The pain and guilt surrendered to give rise to many negative emotions and series of what if .Crumbled and unable to restrain down,the reign of control slipping away as he lowered his head whispering ,his voice heavy with emotions ,

"I am sorry for not being a worthy son !I am sorry for not saying this before and enough that ..". A tear leaked down his left eye dangling down his nose ,

"I will forever be grateful to you..." He paused," for treating me like your son .Thank you for being an amazing father .Thank you for always for looking out for me ,scolding me ...!" Another tear leaked down his eyes.

"Would you call me selfish if I say I needed you to look out for me more .That I would rather be scolded by you then ...this silence ! That I miss you ...a lot .But it's no use right ? But I promise to tell you each things again so let's meet in Jannah ,okay ?". Khaled's last word was sort of an effort to pour ease in his distorted heart but it only broke him more with the realisation in this life he won't have the chance to see that benevolent smile ,the proud look at his success ,the pat on his back ,it was gone forever atleast in this life and it tore him inside mercilessly .He digged his head more lower ,clenching his jaws holding his emotions as more tears rolled down his eyes with him ending up pressing his hand down on the ground ,in need of  support as the pain was excruciating and heart wasn't always the strongest opponent.

The sky was still the same ,the bright cerulean heaven breathing serenity, only the coolness of the wind had throttled down a bit owning to the crowning ceremony of sun had reached its conclusory position .It seemed time had not passed but it had passed ,if only the pain shared same taste and habit ,living would have been easier or atleast less tormenting .

With a heavy sigh and longing look at the graves of his mentors and praying for their magfirah ,Khaled stood up and looking at the dust sticking at his clothes and hands ,he fisted his hands and controlling his urge to let his emotions overtake he whispered ,

"I will keep visiting and I know it can never be enough but still.. ", Khaled paused as him gulping the guilt of not able to say these words when he was alive and somewhat wishing would he have been happy to hear it ,he asserted ,

"...thank you for everything !". And with one last look ,Khaled walked away .

It was weird of life ,no matter how much we broke down and suffer ,one could not settle at that phase forever ,one had to keep moving ,keep fulfilling its set of duties and obligations ,even if hearts and minds were still restrained in that agonised chapter of life, maybe that was the reason Allah gifted us with salah ,something constant and consistent ,something to remind us that is in this constant kaleidoscopic life, where nothing ceases and stops ,salah was an escape ,where finally unsaid words found meaning ,hidden misery deserved acceptance, where heart and mind unchained their ignored struggles ,where one healed when the world only tormented and tortured ,where one finally felt heard and seen .Salah was a paradise on earth ,where abd and only their Rab existed .And if that short paradise could wonders to the sickening heart ,it was just a boost to the believing hearts  to wonder and wish what actual never ending paradise would be like .

Stepping out of the graveyard ,Khaled glancing at the car began searching for the keys when realising he didn't have them as it was was Rafe who drived his car.

I know I got late but he should atleast have given me keys before leaving !

Fishing for his mobile in his pocket ,Khaled circle around the car to stop suddenly seeing Hamza standing beside the car outside the graveyard .

"Why are you still here ?Everyone left, right? ". Khaled questioned walking closer while putting back his mobile into his pocket .

"Well !there wasn't any space !". Hamza shrug but seeing the unbelievable look starkly resting on Khaled's face he stated again,

"Okay ! It just that sky looked good and peaceful so I stopped to gaze at it !". Seeing Khaled's expression turn into a complete disdain look ,Hamza sighed ,

"Okay .I stayed cause you can't expect me to let you drive in that condition !".

"I am fine !". Khaled responded curtly.He knew Hamza was doing it out of concern but care and concern only shelled more wounds and he was used to being left alone and stomping on his pain himself ,he didn't know how to react when people acknowledged him or his pain other than irritation cause vulnerability just stop being a choice in his life way chapters behind ....but something was changing ever since Emaan came into his life.

Her mere thought was enough for the resurgence of memories from last night. The regurgitating of the image he couldn't just ward off from his mind .Her broken state had crushed his existence but when he had finally seen her in a better light ,his heart damaged more and his urge to seek each individual responsible for it and break down their every bone had intensified and right at the moment,thinking of it , made him clench his fists ,his all cells and neurons urging to plunge on his idea ,when driving back his attention ,he heard Hamza ,

"Seriously ! With six fresh stitches stapled inside you I hardly think you are anything but fine ! Just let me drive and.. ". Hamza paused as he offered the bottle he was sipping water from ,

"Here wash your hands !". At his words ,Khaled noticed the dirt clinging to his hands ,though they were simple and accurate instruction but it seemed like someone asking him to forget the address back to his father's home ,weird it was and seemed ,but one couldn't always cling onto something even if they wanted .

He moved forward bending to wash his hands as Hamza pour the water when sensing Hamza's gaze trying to read his expressions ,Khaled mumbled ,

"You should have told me you were going to wait ,I would have come out sooner !".

"Its not a big deal and I already told you I felt like watching the scenery !".

Giving him an incredulous look ,Khaled stood straight holding sprinkling away the extra water still sticking in his hand ,

"What ? I am not lying !". Hamza defended making Khaled sigh while walking over to the other side of car whispering ,

"Yeah sure ! I believe you !".His sarcastic tone being in an absolute negligible match with his words ,made Hamza's lips curve a bit as he moved to sit in the driver's seat .

Ignition started and car came back to life, as Hamza circling around the lane finally turn the car towards their way to Al Shams .As he drove ,Hamza from his periphery noticed Khaled looking out of the window yet it was difficult to ascertain what exactly he was feeling ,to many it would seem he was unaffected and acting normal but Hamza knew him well enough that his friend had some exceptional talent of masquerading his feelings ,a talent he abhorred.Only last night he got glimpse of that slight break in that mask and maybe he had wished the curse would be broken but it seemed it hadn't, yet his heart was hopeful that what none could do ,Emaan could do.

Finally deciding to break the heavy silence ,Hamza whispered ,

"It still hard to believe that everything happened, is real . Dr Duraid ,Dr Isa are gone and that too like this .It seems like we are in a nightmare ,maybe even worse than that !". Khaled turned to look at Hamza and without saying anything he went back staring outside the window ,the only change was his hand lying parallel to his thigh had clenched into a tight fist .

"I just ,I can't .It's impossible still for me to believe Dr Isa was the informer .The one I knew ,the one I thought was one of the amazing person I would ever meet in my life  lhe would be behind this all ,he was the one who killed Dr Duraid ,his very best friend .Like why ?I never for a second felt an ounce of doubt on him to be behind this .To be connected with RM ! What could be the reason for him to betray us and then what about the location message he send us about Dr Emaan ? Or it could have been he was threatened ? But what could they could have used against Dr Isa for him to do this all ?" ,Hamza groaned with his grip on steering tightening causing the veins in his arm surface more .

"It's a mess and I don't know if it ever going to be cleared or not in this life.Was Dr Isa threatened or not ? Was he good or not ?Or was he involved in this from the very beginning or not....". Hamza sighing,gazed at Khaled to find him in same position and his silence seemed to be the reply to all those rants of frustration Sighing again,Hamza went back to focussing on road when he heard Khaled ,

"I think it all began when Zarar first time came to Al Firdous ,do you remember where Dr Isa was ?".

A frown crinkled on Hamza's face as he tried to recall before whispering,

"I don't know exactly but we did saw him with Dr Emaan in his office ,right ?".

"Emaan when trying to hide Yaseen from Zarar ,she had entered into Dr Isa's office where she had met him coincidentally .It's weird when entire hospital had rushed out due to the fire alarm going off with only people knowing it was fake was you ,me ,Emaan and Ferid .But Dr Isa remaining in his office despite everything was the first clue I think ...!".

His eyes still on road yet Hamza seemed getting lost in his thoughts as Khaled went ahead adding,

"When Emaan was framed of being the informer based on the evidence of her being the last person to use the reception phone and last dialled number being to Zarar but on that day coincidentally I had met Emaan in his office and there I remember I heard him asking her if she wanna make a call sbe should hurry as it's was about time for Hala to go on her break .It's strange for him to remember Hala's break time so accurately .Well we can reason it could be because he had used reception phone several times to call back in Australia but later on Dr Isa mentioning about Emaan making call at the same time when everyone was being doubted .Just a weird coincidence despite him knowing how Emaan was easy target of suspicion !" .

Hamza looked at Khaled as if every scene was playing out before him ,the calculations working much faster in his mind than his face features could express ,

"Then the prisoner group member who Omar had brought in ,he died out of cardiac arrest due to overdose of aspirin and we doubted Daniyal cause he was looking for aspirin but that day with Daniyal ,Dr Isa was also present in the infirmary coincidentally !".Khaled paused before beginning again,

"About the phone number ,there was one time I and Dr Duraid had seen Dr Isa coming out of the bushes when Dr Duraid had asked him, he replied he was trying to find a signal and finally found it there in the ground but when Dr Duraid had asked for his phone to make call, he had tried few times to refuse him but eventually he give in ,which didn't look weird at that time but now... I think that's how Dr Duraid got through that informer number ! Not to forget ,the day of my wedding we found Dr Isa was in Al Firdous at the same time Zarar and RM was gathering ,a coincidence ?And where did that man go who Dr Isa was suppose to meet and if that man fabricated Dr Isa then how did they got through Dr Isa's phone number in the first place ?".

Hamza was feeling the rush of information creating storm inside him yet seeing how calmly Khaled explaining them just messed his brain more,

"And then remember after Dr Duraid's aggressive reaction about us wanting to know about Hamid and Younus .The next day ,Dr Isa had come to us and narrated everything but whatever he told us was forged .Cause when I talked to Dr Duraid's sister she told me a different version.It seemed like Dr Isa had changed the details to make us suspicious of Dr Duraid .And lastly remember the pen of Dr Isa that I had ended up breaking .Well despite my attempt to repair it back to its orginal state ,I couldn't mend the broken M on the cap of MH emblem .After demise of Dr Duraid when his sister had came ,she had asked for his belongings and Dr Sarah had send Badr to me regarding permission but from packet holding his last day belonging ,a pen cap fell down .Badr told me it was what they had found clenched in Dr Duraid's left fist .First question comes how come he had a cap clenched in his left fist in his last moment when he was left handed ?Shouldn't the knife be in his left if he killed himself and second what was the cap belonging to Dr Isa's doing in his fist ?". Khaled sighed running his hand in his hair .

"Later on when I asked in detail about  it to Badr and Sufiyan they told me they found nothing weird during examining ,they said nothing rather the cause of death was cutting of jugular vein,only off thing was ,near the jugular vein there was punching mark not like you get when you slit the neck with knife but when one stab directly into the skin with anything pointed ...like a pen !".

A loud screeching sound of the tires resonated as Hamza stamped on the break suddenly making both of them jerk forward before Khaled pressing his hand over the dashboard closed his eyes trying to inhale down the pain searing in his fresh stitches as he hissed ,

"What's wrong with you Hamza ?This is why you wanted to drive ?". Hamza gave a sheepish apologetic look as he said hastily ,

"I am sorry ! I was just shocked by what you just said !".

Shooting deathly daggers through his eyes ,Khaled moved back on his seat,grunting ,

"What are you ? Some soap opera queen who needs to give some over the top reaction for everything? Cant you use that bullock eyes to show shock rather than punching your feet on the break !". Khaled huffed holding his side before pulling up his shirt only sigh in relief seeing there no blood patches on the bandaid despite intense pain .

"Well you can't blame me you suddenly worded out such things I couldn't ...". Hamza zipped his mouth noticing the burning glare of Khaled before asking ,

"I am sorry ! Is it alright ?". Hamza rubbed his neck in deep mortification only to receive a huff and nod as reply ,making him ask again ,

"Sure ?". Blessed with a stark annoyed look from Khaled was enough for Hamza to leave the topic and immediately moved to start the car when he heard ,

"For the rest of the ride ,can you kindly keep your reactions limited to your face ! Cause I am not in mood of getting my stitches raptured !".

"Yeah of course ! I was just taken aback by everything you said !But well, how did you know all this ?  Did Dr Emaan ...but she hasn't gain conscious since last night so ...?".

"It's just assumptions !".

"Assumptions? But why they sound so accurate ?" Hamza blinked in surprise ,he knew his friend never fail to shock him with the twisted and immaculate way his mind worked but still everything Khaled said had started to clear his doubts and every missing link seemed to find a chain of binding with every information his so called assumptions laid out ,in some way or other if not altogether ,when intrigue by the base of his assumptions ,Hamza asked,

"Don't tell me you had doubts on Dr Isa all this while ?".

"No ! I don't ! It just after seeing the pen cap and hearing Dr Duraid's side of story, everytime I tried to give a reason it can't be Dr Isa, these situations just kept rambling in my mind making it all too much of a coincidence and one memory was more vivid, when Zarar in his second visit had called Dr Isa a traitor specifically or maybe I am thinking too much !". Khaled ended with a tired sigh.

"Whatever we think, less or much,but I still can't get why Dr Isa did what he did ? Like why ?". Hamza whispered, a bit exasperated .

"I don't know but I feel like maybe Emaan does !". Khaled's tone held not intrigue but profound sadness making Hamza turn to look at him before he focused back on the road asking ,

"Do you think she would be able to tell us ?".

"I don't know, right now I am only scared of what trauma this incident has left her with .The condition I had found her and she is in ..." Khaled clenched his jaws and fists tighter that his knuckles turn white and green veins glaring against his skin,

"Makes my blood only boil more and to search every single one of them and make them experience hell !". Anger , frustration and mammoth pain swimmed abashedly in Khaled's voice .

"I understand your feeling Khaled .But being by Dr Emaan's side right now is much more important than doing any of that .It won't heal Dr Emaan's trauma but if you stay by her side then overcoming will be easier !". Hamza adviced .

"I know !".Khaled sighed rubbing his temple .

"Yet I can't deny I was shocked when you didn't killed Zarar ! It's not like I wanted you to kill him ,but I had thought I would have to stop you, not you stopping yourself !".

"I am not going to take away something which Allah holds command over !".

Hamza nodded before he asked ,a slight frown on his temple,

"How did you come to know about his past ?".

"Nabilah helped me !".

"Nabilah ? Our Nabilah ?" Seeing Khaled nod ,Hamza asked ,

"How ?".

"She heard me taking Zarar 's name and then she told me she had read a story whose protagonist was named Zarar Yergham in the orphanage she was in Aleppo .She said it was written by a sister working in orphanage for a boy living on the street so it intrigued me and I couldn't let it go as a coincidence .So I contacted the caretaker .Since I knew her well from my previous visits to orphanage and adoption of Nabilah ,she eventually opened up and turned out she was the mother of Safiya Muhammad,the one who wrote that book and the one who tried to save Zarar but died .Although I wasn't entirely sure it was him but his expressions gave away he was the one !".

"Was his backstory one of the reason you gave him the empty gun ?". Hamza mused after a long pause .

Warm sunrays fell over his face as Khaled looked outside the window when he whispered,

"Maybe ! Or maybe I saw myself in him cause I very much know accurately what it likes to live a life of guilt !".

"What ?". Hamza frowned ,he couldn't hear all of it but whatever bits engaged his auditory realm had left him in confusion .

"Nothing !".Khaled didn't even spare to glance at him and Hamza knew even if he wrecked his brain out this man won't move away from his stance of nothing and blowing out a breath and praying for some intelligence for his genius friend,Hamza himself changed the topic ,

"Well are we going to tell everyone back at hospital about Dr Isa being the informer...?"

"I dont know  !". Khaled ran a hand in his hair frustrated and exhausted .

"What about family members ? Did you ...?".

"No I didn't or more I couldn't ! I just informed about his death !".

"What about in Australia ?I mean his wife ?".

"Dr Sarah had called ! She told me they were telling that Kareema Ma'am had started crying all of a sudden yesterday after waking up her from sleep and since then she had been crying taking Dr Isa's name ! They don't know how to tell her or maybe her heart already knows !". Khaled sighed lowly ,a flourishing sadness enveloping his heart .

"This is so messed up !When she finally felt emotion it was when Dr Isa has gone and that too pain and tears !".Hamza groaned lowly before adding,

"I don't know world is too cruel for the humans to live happily or humans are too cruel to live in this happy world !".

"Later one .Cause Allah can never be cruel !".

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Her vision was still blurred and her concious still touching the edges of delirium yet she had already become aware of the pain in her entire body slithering inside her body like an untamed basilisk .Even the attempt to open her eyes was tough ,she felt like falling back to horizon of oblivion over to accept ordeals of awakening when the mere entrance was welcomed by such nasty pain .

She closed her half open eyes back but the throbbing pain made it difficult to ignore and to just fall back to Neverland .Grabbing every inch of courage and strength she could from her every inch paining body she blinked her eyes open to meet white ceiling with a fan dangling down it, running at its full speed .

The air shivered out of her lungs as she tried to gaze around the room ,her eyes settle on a figure far on the bench and she blinked more to find Sidra sitting with her head bowed down .Emaan wanted to call out but nothing yet wordless air came out of her mouth .

Why is she sleeping like that .Later she is gonna complain of back pain then !

Dejected and dumbfounded at her sudden inability to converse ,Emaan grabbing onto the soft surface underneath her palm, tried to pull herself up by thrusting her clenched fist down on the bed but it followed such lethal array of pain and anguish that her lips which couldn't sprout any meaningful words except air ,fished out parade of winces making Sidra's head jerk up ,shock collaborating with sheer happiness as she whispered ,

"Emaan ,you are awake ?".

At her words, Emaan who while breathing hard was speculating that should she like back down or make an effort to sit more erect, glanced at Sidra ,trying to flash a smile but the pain shooting  through her edge of lips made it only seem as a dreadful sneer.  But next moment ,even that dreadful sneer vanished as  anguish skyrocketed to another level when Sidra embraced her tightly while gushing ,her voice a bit hoarse,

"Alhamdulillah ! You are awake Emann.You are finally .I was so worri...". A series of winces stopped Sidra's exclamation of happiness and relief as she moved back whispering apologies ,

"I am sorry ! I am so sorry ! Are you alright ? It must be paining, right ? I just couldn't hold it in myself ! I am just happy , extremely happy .I was so scared .Wait ,I should tell everyone especially Dr Khaled.He has been devasted since yesterday .I have never seen him like this .So worried ,he didn't slept a wink and kept by your side .He left only..... !". Sidra's unending rant came to its abrupt conclusion as she noticed Emaan's face getting more pallid and sweat beats forming on her skin as she kept staring at her bandaid wrist ,her breathing was getting much laboured and heavy.

"Emaan..?". Sidra called ,sounding a bit more apprehensive than she wanted and less controlled than she felt inside .

Emaan finally gazed up ,her eyes already cramped with tears as she whispered ,

"This .." Her lips shivered more as the memories lashed out brutally in her mind ," It..It was real ! It was re..real Sidra ! It wasn't a nightmare !". And the tears plunged down from their save place incessantly and Emaan eventually burst out crying clamping her ears as if trying to stop the inflow of excruciating voices and words that dithered her more .

Holding back her own tears on seeing Emaan's pain, Sidra tried to calm her but the strain due to Emaan's movement on IV needle was worrying her the most.Fearing the blood could spill out and knowing severe anemic condition of Emaan,how dangerous to her life it can be,was just adding panic to her own list of worries .She had never seen Emaan so dishevelled and it unhinged her in many ways .She couldn't think of ways to console her yet she knew had to do somehow .

Sidra tried to coax Emaan but her shivering had only increased and breathing became more struggling affair .Hugging her ,Sidra quickly tried skim through her phone and quickly dialled for Khaled ,as the phone kept ringing on the other side, her eyes landed on shots of sedatives on side table. Hopeless the situation seemed ,Sidra found it the only way to deal with the situation and to prevent Emaan from getting more hurt .Quickly grabbing on it ,Sidra rushed to calm Emaan to find an accurate place to give the shot but her shivering made it an onerous task and she didn't wanted to mess up in haste .Looking helplessly and gazing at her unanswered phone ,she again embraced Emaan before injecting the shot in her arm .She feared that it would have hurted her but Emaan didn't seem to be aware any of it .Her breathing was more strained and the way she had closed her eyes and clamped her ears ,the voice of Sidra seemed beyond her reach ,she could only hear callous voices, that were breaking her down miserably .

Sidra held her hands over her ears trying to make her see her ,wishing for the sedatives to react already but it delayed effect only added more misery and panic filled confusion on Sidra's side .

Allah !Why isn't showing effect ?

When grabbing her attention ,the door clicked open to reveal Khaled whose face instantly changed from surprise to relief to shock in mere seconds and before Sidra could complete ,he rushed by Emaan's side .The stark display of pain over Khaled's face unabashedly despite seeing it so many times ever since yesterday still baffled Sidra on many levels before she quickly moved away giving space to him as she explained hurriedly,

"She got into panic attack as soon as she walked up .I gave her sedatives shot but it's not working !".

Khaled nodded but it seemed he hardly heard any words as his senses was taken by Emaan and her deplorable state .Khaled quickly sat before her ,he reached out for her hand but he  stopped thinking something ,instead softly whispered ,

"Emaan ,ya qalb ,look at me !".

Despite her anxiousness bellowing inside her ,Sidra couldn't help but felt bewildered at the gentleness of his tone ,she always recognise the softness in his voice while speaking to Emaan ,but right now ,it seemed Emaan was dandelions and Khaled scared that his whisper might let him losing her forever just explicitly reminded her ,she was not needed ,somehow she felt Khaled will handle her making her steps automatically lead towards the door.Before closing the door ,she took a last glance at them and seeing Emaan finally opening her eyes ,she smiled and prayers tumbling out of her mouth ,for Emaan ,for Khaled and for their beautiful bond.

Stepping out of the room,Sidra's gaze immediately landed on Hamza standing outside and she without waiting for a second rushed to him before he could do so and hugged him .

"Sidra..what...". Hamza a bit taken aback and little flustered stared around the hall mumbling,

"We are in the hall .People are staring at us...".But instead of any response ,Sidra only inched herself more closer to Hamza embracing him tightly .She was never good with handling tense situations ,making fun of them or just comically reducing its intensity that's how she managed her ways yet but she staggered when someone was broken ,she had no words or actions to repair or heal ,she wanted to make everything good but she never knew how .Yamama always nagged her about this disability and Emaan just skillfully handled the situation herself .But now ,Yamama wasn't there to manage it and Emaan was the one suffering and how much she felt incapable and useless .She knew and trusted Khaled enough but she couldn't ignore the feeling of failing as a friend .A deep sad sigh tumble out of her mouth as she tried to calm herself in Hamza's embrace.

When plucking out of her negatives musing ,she heard Hamza ,

"Sid you okay ?What happened ?". He moved to make her face him ,his hands cupping her face and his eyes flickering in worry searching for his answer.

Sidra only nodded in negative yet her expression remaining same ,grim and morose, alleviating Hamza's worry ,making him question next,

"Is Dr Emaan alright ?".

Sidra again nodded in reply .There was profound sadness on her face but there was more in her moisten eyes .Hamza could understand each emotion but seeing his Sidra so sorrowful and broken ,it just broke him more ,his heart felt like a planet without its star ,only darkness and coldness to accompany .

"You are worried about Dr Emaan ,right ?".

Her eyes became a bit more teary as she nodded before replaying,

"I am ...". Hamza thought of speaking but he couldn't as Sidra added very sooner ,

"But I also know Allah is Merciful  .HE doesn't burden a person beyond its power of endurance so HE will let these times all pass eventually and HE is with us in every single moment of life so why would HE leave our side when we call out in pain .HE will heal all her pain .And I  trust Dr Khaled that he will take care of Emaan thoroughly but ...." Sidra stopped as her gaze landed on the crowd of hospital staff standing the middle of hallway .

"Why is there so many people standing in hall way ?".

Hamza following her eyes took out a exhaustive groan as he mumbled ,

"Seriously why can't they listen ?". At his words ,Sidra stared back at him in confusion making Hamza eventually explain ,

"They are inquisitive about Khaled and Dr Emaan .It's still hard for them to believe so they followed as soon as they saw Khaled enter inside .I asked them to leave but they only dispersed ! Seriously what's wrong with them ? It wasn't this serious ....".

Hamza couldn't even complete as Sidra zoomed out of his embrace and lunged towards them. Fearing what outcome her wife was to procure ,he rushed after her ,just to make sure nothing get messier otherwise he knew Sidra was perfect player to deal with this stubborn lot .

"May I know why you all are standing here instead of working ?". Sidra crossed her arms ,her eyes bereft of any sadness rather they were digging holes in every soul they flickered upon.

A bit taken aback and flustered,crowd of people gazed around at each other before one of the nurse whispered ,

"Is it really true Dr Emaan and Dr Khaled are married ? I mean they are really husband and wife ?".

"Why is it so much concern to you all , huh ? How many times do you need to listen they are married to finally realise they are husband and wife ! Or is it so difficult to believe it cause you couldn't give wedding money to them or have some bachelorette party kind of things ,is it ?". The slashing sarcastic tone couldn't be ignored by neither of them when one of them ,a bit embarassed,tried to defend ,

"Why ar you getting so touchy about it ? We just asked a question ? It's not wrong to ..." The man couldn't complete when Sidra interrupted ,

"YEAH ! It is wrong ! And you know what is right ...". She took a step closer to them making Hamza inch closer ,

"Right is, asking about is Dr Emaan alright ? Is she badly hurt ? Has she gained concious ? But you ...". Sidra gritting her words inside stomped closer as if ready to knock them out when Hamza concluding her movements ,held her back while she continued to glare at each of them before rasping out,

"You know I can't understand why they are investing so much in making robots when humans have already ceased to behave like humans !Freaking robots !". Sidra giving one last deadly look ,moved out of Hamza's hold and rushed out of the hallway ,praying that Khaled could actually handle Emaan ,cause the world around them was going to be more merkier than ever .

___________________________________

His voice was the last thing she had heard before falling down unconscious ,in between those moments, remnants of the bulky panic in his voice she could hear ,all she had wished to open her eyes and tell him she was okay and not to worry, she wanted to say more but everything lost in a dark oblivion ,her wish remaining a wish  but hearing back that gentle voice amalgamated with so much concern ,worry and panic ,that intrinsic wish that had drowned in the world of unfulfilled, rose again giving her trembling entity enough courage amidst the darkness of her anxieties and anguish, to open her eyes giving way for the tears to rain down them as she blinked at him wanting to say she was alright but nothing came out making her want to cry out more yet.Her breathing felt so strained and congested that every word defeated in the face of her effort to keep breathing .

Seeing her condition,Khaled couldn't hold himself yet fearing of hurting her ,he cautiously wrap his arm around her while resting his forehead on her,

"Emaan ,my qalb ! It's alright .You are with me ! It's over .It's gone .I am here ! I am not going anywhere .Just breathe .Okay .Just focus on breathing .It will be alright ! Each and everything .I will do so .We will do so .Allah will do so .So don't worry ! Just don't hold anything inside .I am here to listen and wait .Just don't hurt yourself more than you already are. Just don't suffer alone !".Khaled softly caressed her face but shocking him ,Emaan wrapped her arms round his neck and embraced him tightly unaware of the pain her action had evoked on his wound .But ignoring the physical pain ,he concentrated on one that dwelled in his heart which can only be relieved by his beloved being at ease .Shifting a bit, so it could be comfortable for Emaan ,he leaned down and kissing side of her head ,he embraced her tightly .

His words had felt so soothing ,so soulful, filling with such deep assurance ,that even if she felt she was falling down rampantly with no hold on emotions,even if she was still drowning but somehow, it didn't seem so fearful and lonely .

Her shivering hands went on to clutch his shirt more tightly as she whispered ,

"I was scared .I was really scared Khaled!". Emaan's lips trembled in pain ,

"I thought I...would never meet you ..!I .I w..would never see you .It made me scared more!".Khaled felt her heart dropped to the lowest dungeons ,hearing the pain ,feeling the anguish still lingering in her voice ,how much more scared she would have been there and to think he wasn't there with her ,she was all alone,gnawed his existence with such massive bitterness that only heighten his anguish and rage against himself .

He wanted to console her but he also wanted her to speak out ,he didn't wanted her hold her emotions inside and struggle alone ,she had already done so and he didn't wanted that anymore .So refraining from saying anything ,he only allowed himself hold her more closely with his hand on her back stroking gentle wave like touch .

"They to..told me you died !". Emaan clutched her shirt tightly as if afraid he would vanish like a mirage ,mere facade . But her shivering self made it difficult and the helplessness only increased the tears down her orbs ,it burnt him more as Khaled couldn't hold himself from assuring ,

"I am sorry my little warrior.I am sorry that you had to experience everything .But I won't let anything like this happen again .And I am here my Qalb .I am right here .I am not going anywhere .And I am alright as long as you are alright and safe with me !". Khaled dropped a chaste kiss on her head .

Emaan moved back ,her eyes roaming across his body before her hands move to confirm his words and assure his fearsome self ,her touch amalgamated her fear and worry yet it installed such profound emotions stirred inside Khaled ,that he didn't knew how to explicate in words what she made him feel ,even in her brokenness ,she made him feel the most precious ,the most loved .Even when she was trembling like leaf under storms of emotions ,she was indulged in assuring he was protected .

What are you Emaan ...

Khaled held her left her hand making Emaan look up at him ,his eyes holding a universe of emotions ,where Emaan found herself shinning like a galaxy when he rubbing off the tears away from her eyes whispered,

"I am alright my Qalb !". Emaan opened her eyes back again when Khaled leaned in dropping a kiss just near her eyes making Emaan flutter them back close  before she found herself wrapped in his protective boundaries .A feeling of relief seemed to find home inside her ,relaxing her senses to some extent .When in trance ,her right hand slid down coming in contact with his waist but unintentionally her hand ended up sliding over his wound and it was so sudden and unexpected that Khaled couldn't hold the wince in, making Emaan jerk back in shock ,her eyes running over his face as Khaled tried to hide back his pained expressions before descending down to his waist as she whispered ,

"You are hurt ?". Every relief that had settled a seconds ago had entirely vanished from her face .

Khaled smiled softly and cupping her face he tried to assure,

"Don't worry I am alright !".Emaan looked at Khaled with searching gaze before looking down,she kept staring at at his waist where she had touched .Khaled shifted trying to gain her attention but shocking him ,Emaan suddenly lifted up his shirt to reveal white bandage making her flinch back in shock ,her hands lifting to cover her mouth and eyes covering with fresh tears  ,

"This ?How ...". She glanced at Khaled as tears tumble down her eyes ,

"It must be paining, right ?". Emaan moved to cover her face as she lowered her head saying ,

"I am so sorry .It must be paining alot !". Her voice muffled by her whimpers and cries .Helpless ,Khaled moved closer to her and making her look above her hands he whispered ,

"What are you apologising ? Its my fault !And it pains me more seeing you cry ,seeing you hurt Emaan .I would prefer getting thousand wounds over having you getting a single wound ! So please don't cry !".

Emaan lips wobbled as she looking at his waist where she had seen the bandaid she whispered,her vision slightly getting blurred ,

"How can I not ..cry when you are hurt ?".

"Its a small cut ,not worthy for you to cry so much !". Khaled replied ,rubbing away her tears.

"Please don't get hurt .Never .I don't .I c..can't .Even Dr Isa..." Emaan stopped for a second before she jerk her head up ,

"Kha..Khaled how is Dr Isa ? Where is he ? Is he alright ?". Khaled didn't knew if Emaan was aware of Dr Isa being the informer but her words confirmed and fearing of her reaction especially in her present state .He avoided her gaze as he tried to change the topic ,he said ,

"Emaan you need to rest ! It's no..".Khaled couldn't complete when Emaan interjected,

"Khaled I am asking about Dr Isa ? Why aren't you telling me ? He is alright ,right ?". Seeing Khaled still silent ,she pleaded holding his hand in her shivering ones ,

"Khaled ,please tell me !".

Khaled took a deep sigh and he finally looked straight into her apprehensive ones .He squeezed her hands slightly as he stated ,

"His funeral was held after fajr !". Emaan stared at him confused as if still trying to inhale down his words to the world of comprehension ,making Khaled stroke her cheeks lightly ,

"Emaan ...!"

"It can't..This can't be true", Her hands reach out to Khaled ,"He to..told me Khaled ...he told ..me..me ..he will wa..wait.He...he said that I should fi..find you ...so...so that we coul...could escape together...".Emaan held Khaled's arm while Khaled kept staring at her with pained expression as she kept explaining,

"I ra..ran out to ..find you .I pr...promise I ran as ..fast I ..co.could .I didn't stop even when it ...was paining so much .I pr..promise I didn't .Then at....the exit ...they ...those men !". Emaan hiccuped rubbing her tears while Khaled clenched his jaws with his one hand coming to hold her securely ,with occasional gentle strokes on her back.

"The..y caught up to me....but I didn't ..gave up but then all of a sudden ...the building Dr Isa was..in collapsed .....I tri..tried to shout his name ...call him but there wa..was no response.But ..but it ..it doesn't mean he ..he is ...I mean I survived right ...when building collapse...I did so why wouldnt he ?". Emaan looked at him with pleading eyes ,hoping ,praying and wishing for Khaled to agree with her .

Khaled sighed ,a mournful one as his fingers softly brush away her tears ,but only more to drench her face and burn his soul .Who would have known drop of water could burn more than a scorching embers ...only a lover.

"It wasn't the collapse ,it was the third degree burn on his body ,that was the cause .Everyone died in that buildi..". Khaled left the word hanging and quickly hold Emaan who had started feeling dizzy ,

"Emaan you okay ?".

But instead of replying ,Emaan blinked down mumbling,

"Third degree burn ? So he pulled the plug ! But he ..he tol..told me he would survive for me ,for his ..daughter .He ...did every..everything to find his sons ,to have his family back ..happy .But he w..was guilty ...he tr .ied to ..save me ...also .But..they beat him up ,they li..lied about his ..sons ...they had kille..d th..them long back .B..ut despite that ..he said he will live ...he will live for me ,he had no sons but he had a daughter ,he had me...he would live for me ...and repent .Then why ? Then why did he ?". Emaan burst out crying ,Khaled pained by her deteriorating state tried to calm by hugging her but she distanced herself putting her hands over his chest ,complaining and mourning altogether ,

"Was it all a lie .Am I really a fool to everyone ? Why is it I can't protect anyone ? I couldn't protect my parents ,I couldn't save Aljida and now Dr Isa also ...why do everyone I see as my parent keeps dying ?  .Am I really that bad daughter ? Don't I deserve parental love ? What am I doing wrong ? Tell me Khaled ! Does Allah hates me ? Am I really bad ? What should I do he doesn't hate me ?I don't want to be hated" .

Khaled helpless and not able to bear it anymore biting his lips slightly to hold back his tears threatening to leak down ,pulled her into his arm and holding her really close ,he whispered ,

"No one's hates you my jaan especially Allah .He loves and gives even though who don't love HIM how can HE hate you when HE puts HIS love inside your heart .How can HE hate someone HE wants to be loved by .I am sure you are HIS favourite,the most precious ..".When he felt Emaan's body getting limp and her breath calming down as his whisper oozed near his ear ,earning goosebumps ,

"I don't want to be hated ! I don't want to be hated Khaled !". Khaled pulled her back and removing the hairs from her face sticking due to tears and sweat ,he made her finally lie down back on the bed when her eyes opened for a bit and a tear dither out it's narrow space as if waiting for it's destiny to fall down with again realm of brown wonder closed down .Thinking sedative had finally worked,Khaled moved to lean back when he heard a faint pained whisper tremble down his auditory lane ,

"Please don't hate me Khaled! Don't think bad...."

Khaled gulped hard as he kept staring at Emaan ,with pain ,longing ,love ,care and so many more emotions that could never found its appropriate description in the world of words , always unknown and unnamed ,just destined to be strongly felt ,that's why they were most pure and precious .

Rubbing away the tear dangling down her eyes corner ,Khaled dropped a kiss on her forehead before covering her with a blanket .

He moved to settle on the chair next to bed and staring at Emaan he held her palm in between her hands and rubbing them softly he dropped feathery kisses on her fingers before slightly resting his forehead on their conjoined hands ,he confessed,

"I can never hate you Emaan!How can I ever hate you when I pray everyday to be loved more by you .I can never hate you ,even if you kill me ,even if you end up hating me someday ,I will always be in love with you... !".

A lone tear slipped out of his right eye before submerging in their entwined hands.

___________________________________

Hours had passed, when finally the call of zuhr salah went out making Khaled come out of his reverie .Reciting the dua after adhan and durood ,he prayed for Emaan and whiffing duas with a lingering kiss on her forehead,he decided to walk out of the room not before leaving Amtu by Emaan's side .

He had stepped out but internally he was still reluctant ,his mind still thinking about what if she wakes up and again goes through a panic attack but he tried to solidify his heart and mind with a thought ,that he was going to answer the call of the most merciful ,the one who never ignored any call ,rather who waits to be called then how could he let any anguish settle in his heart for so long ,when Rab knew everything of his heart and taking care of it in ways he could never comprehend but only in the end be in awe and overwhelmed .

Delve in his thought ,with his lips whispering words of Allah ,Khaled didn't bothered to pay attention to the gazes and whispers as he walked to the hall when a voice brought him out of his daze and soon Hamza was by his side ,his first words,

"How is Dr Emaan now ?".

"She will be fine in sha Allah !". Khaled ran a hand in his hair .

"In sha Allah .Sidra had gone back to her room ! She said she will spend her free hours with Dr Emaan !".

Khaled passed a small grateful smile as he whispered ,

"Means a lot !".

Hamza smiled a little before his eyes landing on the people gathering around the hall and their intense gazes holding lots of questions made him whisper ask,

"By the way what is decided about these inquisitive gazes ?".

Khaled's eyes flickered around before going unfazed and unbothered ,as he responded,

"Meeting after the salah that is decided !".

Hamza decided to probe more but they were already entering the hall and seeing how people automatically cleared the way for him and eventually also clearly away Hamza's line of probation as knowing and seeing the effect Khaled had over the people with his overwhelming aura ,his apprehension were matter of triviality .

He disliked burdening Khaled with overbearing responsibilities as he never denied them but it was also a fact that he always managed to fulfill them so impeccably that Hamza often couldn't avoid the thought ,

He was really something else .Maybe an actual Dracula!

Khaled's mere announcement of meeting after the salah had led to eruption of loud whisperings which until now was prevailing through connected gazes or just hush voices .

"Wow that already created quite a ruckus !". Hamza whispered as Khaled moved to stand next to him with Dr Masry getting ready to lead the prayer .

"Yeah I think it would have been better if I had announced after salah atleast their focus would be on salah but now ...". Khaled blow out a air rubbing his forehead but as Allahu Akbar in Dr Masry's voice reached his ear ,he ignoring all the piercing gazes from all sides focussed on the ONE who deserved every focus and attention .

As the salah ended ,Khaled walked up to the stage ,along the way he had asked Dr Masry ,Dr Sarah Alma ,and Dr Fatimeh Melbos to join him .Taking in a deep breath ,Khaled ran his gaze around the hall before realising Emaan wasn't there .Looking down for a second, he again glanced up before beginning,no glimpse of internal wreckage over his face,

"I know it had been a ruckus ever since the bomb blast at Al Firdous .Things have gotten messier and messier .From shifting here ,to getting to know we had informer among us dismantling our trust towards eachother and finally everything ending with a much horrendous conclusion ,with us losing Dr Isa and Dr Duraid.. ".

A round of murmurring sparked across the hall .

"I know you all have lots of questions and I will try my best that after end of this talk, your all questions are answered but for that, I will appreciate your all calm attitude and ...mostly silence !". And this was enough to let the acute silence prevail in the entire hall .

"Ever since the beginning we have hearing about RM behind this mayhem and we finally got to know who these RM are .They are Hamid Merkes and Younus Rad ,the ex-blacklisted doctors of Al Firdous !" .There was an slight ensue of murmurring but Khaled's one stern gaze clamp every single whisper back in their mouth very next minute.

"I guess many of you will be aware of them and many of you might not.All I can say who don't know ,they were the doctors who used their abilities and talents to exploit people resulting numerous death and defaming Al Firdous .Eventually they were reported by their own juniors that were Dr Duraid and Dr Isa and given life time imprisonment .But in the mess prevailing in this country ,they were released along with many prisoner who work for them in exchange for the drugs pills they made in the jail .They came out with one of the plan of avenging themselves .Their aim was to destroy not just Dr Duraid ,Dr Isa but entire Al Firdous had ...".

"That's why it began with bomb blast and eventually breaking of our trust by installing a informer among us but unlike the information we got the informer being among us ,it was misinterpreted,the informer was one of the patient!".

At his words ,Hamza glanced at him in shock but before anyone could notice, he immediately hold the reign of his expression,standing as calm as his friend yet his inside were sprouting with unending questions .

"We got to know about this yesterday .Dr Duraid got to know about him when he found him in Dr Isa's office searching and it led to you know all .And that letter and everything was just a way of their revenge ,not just killing him but destroying his character and respect we held for him !". Khaled stopped for a second before beginning again ,

"And then they kidnapped Dr Isa and Dr Emaan and held them in Al Firdous .Dr Isa eventually realise all their plan as he got to see them and wanting to end this all and to protect us all from their vicious cycle of hatred and revenge plan ,he pulled the plug of the bomb and leading to collapse of entire building !". Khaled glanced down ,his eyes hidden from any scrutiny as he whispered ,

"He sacrificed his life for us ,to save us all here .So I will hope that you won't let sacrifice of both of our mentors be in vain and work more harder than you all have done now and not give in to any fear and sadness .I know they were successful in completing most part of their plan ,but we can still override that success by holding the spirit of Al Firdous that still burns inside us no matter where we are .The sincerity and dedication that both our mentors were emblem of still exists in our hearts and we will continue their legacy to make the world remind, they could kill many of Dr Duraid and Dr Isa but their goodness will continue to exist and continue to pass down ,to make this place a better world to live and jannah our final reality ,in sha Allah !".

There was sorrow ,shock and bewilderment shinning on many faces yet diligent sparks of their orbs outshone every emotion ,the spark of determination ignited by Khaled's words had engraved a much needed boost to all the souls who were flounding in styx of misery .

When piercing through every calm, a voice echoed asking ,

"Why did they kidnap Dr Emaan ?".

"I was coming to it only !". Khaled responded calmly but his glare on the respected person made him regret his question as he tried to hide behind people .

"They kidnapped Dr Emaan cause they wanted to get me cause she is my wife !".

There was a clash of emotions ,a deafening silence against pain stricken gasps ,but giving no heed to any of the reactions Khaled continued ,

"I don't believe or understand the necessity of sharing information about my personal life as it won't be of any benefit to anyone here .Everyone gets married so did I and Dr Emaan ,end of discussion ,it's not the first or last marriage .More importantly I will highly appreciate if you don't bug Dr Emaan with asking personal questions ! And if your curiosity gets really uncontrollable then come to me, I will answer all your questions!". Khaled crossed his arms and Hamza despite the situation couldn't hold his smirk seeing how Khaled had openly threatened everyone without using any words of threats .

Once a sly fox ,always a sly fox .

"But why was it kept secret ? We thought she was married to someone else ? ". Hana had managed to question ,but her voice got dimmer and dimmer till she reached the end of her question .

"Let me answer this !", Dr Sarah interjected looking at Khale who nodded slightly in approval,

"It was kept a secret cause I had ask them to do so .Knowing how easily people had believed in Emaan being an informer and how treatment towards her had changed so vividly, I was scared of everyone's reaction towards that poor soul .She had barely got saved by being blamed as traitor if not Khaled and others had found evidence of her innocenece.So I didn't wanted that girl again come into the radar of your disbelief. Emaan already being a foreigner always has been an easy target and I surely knew if you all got to know she got married to the esteemed bachelor of our hospital ..".Khaled couldn't help but turn to gaze at Dr Sarah who went ahead oblivious of  her choice of words while Hamza suppressed his grin behind his hand .

"..,everyone's attention would have been back on her instead of finding the informer ! So that's why it was decided to kept a secret but now it is out so I will hope you will understand and congratulate and wish them for a good and happy life !".

Dr Sarah moved back ,a slight whispering echoed around the hall which simmer down as Khaled step in and his voice again gaining attention ,

"Last but not the least Dr Daniyal would you come on the stage !".

At the sudden address ,Daniyal stood dumbfounded ruminating and speculating every reason he was being called on stage by Khaled and his instinct wasn't signalling anything good .

"Dr Daniyal ?". Khaled's stern voice made Daniyal come out of his reverie and he reluctantly walked towards the stage .

Maintaining a safe distance ,Daniyal stood before Khaled ,his mind dithering between the jungle of thoughts of behind the purpose Khaled summon ,when noticing Khaled turn to him, his one foot automatically pushed backward before afraid of being mocked he pulled his foot back to its position,at the same he heard Khaled,

"Don't you think you need to make a public apology for pulling down the name of Dr Duraid without waiting or even try to certify the validity of the evidences you got .You distrusted your mentor ,you tried to pull down the character of someone who died as a martyr .I think you do need to make apology to Dr Duraid publicly just like you tried to insult him publicly!".

Daniyal looked a bit taken aback ,he had thought many reason but none had prevail down to the one he had just heard ,he stared at Khaled who called him ,

"Dr Daniyal ?".

"Yea..Yeah !". Daniyal took a step forward ,his eyes falling over the crowd and the embarassment seeping inside him seeing the sympathetic eyes for Dr Duraid now glimmering with somewhat disdain at him .He now realised the purpose behind the apology ,it was not just clearing of Dr Duraid's dignity but at the same time, it had deteriorated his image among his colleagues to a wider extent .He now stood as a villain among most of eyes staring back at him .It seemed like an outright punishment for not just insulting Dr Duraid but harming anyone close to Khaled and a straight warning to never even try to do so again .

Daniyal glanced back at Khaled who quirked his brow in question and his attitude insouciant yet the deathly glare was enough to send down chill through his spine.

He seemed like a wolf who would devour anyone for even thinking of harming his people .

Agreeing to the thought ,Daniyal nodding slightly turn to look back at the people before confessing out a apology .

With the end of it ,Daniyal glanced back only to have himself break out in cold sweat seeing Khaled walk towards before he stood in front of him ,his dominating aura amplified by him being an inches taller than Daniyal,when Khaled pulled out his hand for a shake ,

"Let's try to work together cordially !". Daniyal nodded a bit confused when he understood the real reason when Khaled asserted ,

"And make sure to visit Dr Duraid's grave and apologise to him".Daniyal nodded again when Khaled's orb turned even more darker shade as he warned ,

"Stay away from Emaan .Cause if I ever find you being the source of any trouble to her then remember ,this time Dr Duraid is not there to stop me .So better stay in your limits !". Khaled passed a small smile but more seemed like smirk as he moved passed Daniyal patting his shoulder while despite feeling immense anger arising out of embarassment,Daniyal stood still ,trance in the chill those warning held in them .

"That was unexpected !". Hamza asked as soon as he joined beside Khaled out of the hall.

"What ?". Khaled asked while busy in his phone .

"About Dr Isa !Just an hour ago I talked to you, you said don't know so when did this happen ?".

Khaled looking up from his phone sighed before replaying ,

"After talking to Emaan ,his message to us and the way he died ,are enough proof Dr Isa was guilty of what he did ,he was regretful of his actions so what's the use of making everyone hate him or ruin the beautiful things he had taught when he died trying to make everything right .Telling the truth won't change anything but hiding it would save precious memories and many hearts from disappointments.And I just didn't wanted that everytime people remember Dr Isa they dishonour him ,rather when they do ,they should pray for him and his magfirah ,wouldn't that be much better ?".

Hamza nodded in agreement before looking at Khaled who was back on his phone,

"You should take rest Khaled now ! I will manage everything from here !".

"I will think about it !". Khaled replied keeping the phone back in his pocket ,"First I need to meet the one who didn't died in that collapse!".

Under piles of boulders ,along with Dr Isa's damaged body ,one more body was excavated out ,only difference was it was still alive .Hamid Merkes ,despite his third degree burns and his body smashed under the boulders ,he was still breathing .And while on sight people were in doubt about the worth of saving this man's life who was behind all destruction but when Khaled was informed about him ,to much shock to everyone ,he had immediately had decided to bring him to hospital.

And Hamza wasn't also bereft of confusion behind this action of Khaled.Why save a person who destroyed so many lives ? Why waste medicines on him which can be used to save many innocent lives ?But he had no time to ask anything seeing how devastated he had been entire night but right at the moment he couldn't hold his curiosity anymore as he rephrased the question ,his brain was throttling down his existence .

But before his curiosity could be satisfied ,Khaled had already entered the room ,Hamid Merkes was kept ,launching the question straight away to the male nurse,

"How is his condition ?".

"Not any improvement ! With third degree burns ,fractures and his body's condition you already know is in ,it's difficult to ascertain there will be any improvement .We can't perform any tests on him or let him undergo any surgical process seeing his age without taking in his health statistics .It's surely a miracle that he survived but when he gains conscious the pain he would have to bear ,it won't be miracle for him .He would want to die than to live !".

"Well we will do what we are suppose to do ,rest Allah knows best !". Khaled responded as he moved to walk out when Hamza stopped him ,

"I don't get it Khaled ? What are you saving this man for ? Is he even worth it ? Don't tell me you are doing cause of the oath ? For heaven sake ,this man is responsible for many people losing their lives ,they lost their loved ones ,their lives destroyed ! He is the cause that Dr Emaan is on the hospital bed right now ! I can't think of one sane reason why are you doing it ?".

"I am not doing it cause of oath neither I feel sympathetic towards him .And I am fully aware of what he has done and believe me no one more than me wants him dead ! But if Allah has decided to keep him alive despite this condition ... " Khaled eyes tore to glare at the hidden body of Hamid Merkes ,

"...where death seems a better option then who am I to dishonour my Rab's decision ! If he is destined to experience hell even in this life then who am I to deny that ?". Khaled's words held chillness that could scorch anyone but his face was as nonchalant as if he hadn't said what he said ,maybe just a regular phenomenon like explanation of water cycle .

Khaled giving a last look to Hamza ,walked out of the room while Hamza sighing glance back at Hamid's body thinking about Khaled's words ,his survival now really seemed like a worthy punishment and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about still not found body of Younus Rad and what fate he was destined with ,when his gaze landed on the male nurse who still seemed stunned ,

"Are you alright ?".

"Yea..Yeah ?". He replied back forcing a customary smile .

"What ? Got scared or impressed by Dr Khaled's words !".

"No it's nothing like that Dr Hamza !". He again forced a smile .

Hamza nodding turned around to walk out of the room when he heard the nurse mumbling ,

"Both I guess !".

A smile stretched on Hamza's face as he stepped out the room mumbling ,

"Well not the first one to be !".

___________________________________

"I think it's quite late.You all should leave !".Khaled announced as he walked inside the room ,only to hear groans from Wali and Yaseen .

"I don't wanna go Abbu !". Wali pouted lying flat next to Emaan ,

"I will stay with Maani !".

"Me too !".Yassen conjoined patting the bed to get closer to Emaan .

"I knew this was going to happen !". Laiba whispered before Khaled walked up to Wali and holding Yaseen's hand he brought her closer and crouched down saying ,

"You can stay with Emaan as much as you want but after she gets well ! Don't you want her to rest load and get well soonest ?".

"I want to !But I promise I won't make noise !See I sealed my lips !I won't talk !". Wali gestured zipping his mouth while pleading with his big eyes.

"You are talking and I sure he will eat Emaan's ear with his talking .But I am good girl ,I won't talk so please let stay!". Yaseen persuaded making Khaled give a defeated look when Emaan interjected ,

"My babies I would have surely let you stay but you see I am sick and I don't want you all to catch my sickness .Cause if you do I will be very sad ! Do you want to see me sad ?".Emaan pouted but seeing both Wali and Yaseen fervently nod in negative made her smile,

"So go now and sleep ! Cause then only we can meet sooner in the morning, right?".

A wide grin stretched on Wali and Yaseen's face engraving smile on others as well when Wali sitting up on the bed and edging closer to Emaan and not wanting to wake up Maryam cradled in her arm he whispered ,

"I will pray you get well soon Maan .I have praying to Allah !  So don't worry you will be alright ! You can play with us then !". He caressed Emaan's face lightly making her smile ,and her beautiful crescent was enough to endorse a soft smile on Khaled's face ,as he gazed at her lost .

None could hold him enarmoured as her smile ,even if sky smiles the most beautiful rainbow or the earth blooms the most captivating flower ,none could do the magic what just a mere curve on her lips could do to his heart...

"I also prayed Emaan, I prayed more than Wali ! And  and Nabilah also prayed .I made Hasan to pray too !". Yaseen boasted earning chuckles when grasping back her attention ,Wali kissed Emaan's cheek and blushing more than anything , whispered,

"I will come to meet you in the morning ! Wait for me !".

Hard to control her lips from curving up higher ,Emaan ruffled Wali's cheeks as she answered ,

"I will sweety !".

"Why you wait for him ? You wait for me only nah ?". Yaseen whined with a put graced on her face .

Gesturing Khaled to bring her close ,Emaan held Yaseen's hand lovingly  ,

"Of course, I will wait for you too, my darling habibti !".

That mere endearment was enough to make Yaseen forget all her anger as she blushing slightly whispered a light 'okay'.

With her Wali and Yaseen moving back ,Muslim walked up and held out a paper holding a beautiful flower drawing with a get well soon message written in his handwriting .A wider crescent dazzled on her lips   with some tears that she had been holding up collecting slightly as she answered thank you in sign language and Muslim  smiling back yet a bit embarassed rush to help Yaseen who Wali were trying to pull with himself .

Noticing Hasan who had been staring at her all this while follow Muslim outside ,Emaan stopped him ,

"Hasan I will get alright .So don't worry !".

"Please do !". Hasan without looking back replied before rushing out .

Emaan smiled but pained expressions settled on her face knowing Hasan must have been scared seeing her in this condition , bitter memories must gnawed deeper in his heart.She wanted to hug him when noticing her expression ,Khaled assuring her with his eyes followed out to of the room to talk to Hasan .

She kept gazing at the door where she could get glimpse of Khaled and Hasan standing together when Laiba commented gaining her attention ,

"One can't say she is same baby who has been crying endlessly and now see she is sleeping so happily and calmly! You are more than a mother to her !".Emaan smiled gazing down at the little bundle sleeping so quietly making her forget every pain and sorrow .

"I am proud of you Emaan !". Laiba stroked her head making Emaan look up at her in surprise while Laiba smiling added ,

"But I cant see you like this .I want to see my lovely daughter in law get well soon .So no worries and no more crying .Cause you got so many praying for you and me , my prayers are always with my children." ,Laiba leaned and dropped a light peck on her head making Emaan gulp down the lump clamping her throat but her reddening nose and teary eyes was enough evidence of what was going inside her .Patting her arm she smiled at Emaan before asking ,

"Now give me Maryam and go to sleep !".A feeling of dreadry circulated inside her as she saw Laiba's hands stretched out .With a forced smile ,Emaan kissing lightly on her head and then on her cheek passed it to Laiba who smiling at her and calling Nabilah to come with her moved to walk out .

Smiling Emaan watched them leave but she blink in confusion when Nabilah instead of following Laiba ,walked upto to her and looking down, she whispered,

"I did pray for you to be safe!". She paused gulping," but I also prayed that you never come back ! I didn't wanted you to think I accepted you neither I wanted to lie .You can hate me if you want !". She didn't raise her head .

Emaan did felt a pinching pain inside her ,seeming the circumstances she had faced,she felt herself the most sensitive and every hurt much more piercing but still she managed a smile as she answered ,

"No I don't hate you Nabilah rather I am grateful to you for praying for me .So Jazakillah Khairan !".

Shocked ,Nabilah stared up at Emaan ,her eyes holding many questions but instead of asking it she heard Amtu calling for her and giving one last confused look, she rushed out of the room.

With a sigh ,Emaan gazed down at her bandaid hands ,her mind like an untamed river spluttering over many rocks of thoughts,when sound of door closing made her come out of her musing.

"Is Hasan alright ?". Emaan asked watching Khaled walking towards her .

"Yeah ,just worried !".

"I made you all so worried !". Emaan sighed .

"I am sure you have been equally worried !". Khaled fondled her head gently before sitting before her.

Emaan gazed up at him before her eyes creased down to the area she knew Khaled's wound was asking,

"Don't you think you should be taking rest instead of working ? How is it suppose to heal if you don't rest?".

"I do rest !".

"No you don't ! What you do is work !".Emaan huffed.

"I do work but I also take rest !".Khaled explained calmly .

"With this wound ,you should only be resting not working!.

"May I assume this is your plan to make me stay with you 24/7 ?". Khaled cocked an brow with a lazy smirk playing on his lips .

Emaan not pleased with Khaled's playfulness with his health ,she claimed,

"No, this is my plan to make you rest !"

"Hardly any difference !Being with you is enough rest for me ".

Even it felt heartwarming,yet Emaan knew it was harmful what Khaled was doing with his health ,she couldn't allow him to suffer either cause of her or his negligence .She sighed before trying to explain Khaled ,

"Amtu and Sidra, both told me you didnt sleep a wink last night ! I don't want you to ignore yourself cause of me .I am fine but I won't be if something happens to you .So go and rest ,please !".Emaan gave her best pleading look but Khaled only stared at Emaan for a second before looking away he sighed announcing,

"Don't worry I was planning to rest !". Emaan smiled but it faltered when she heard Khaled add ,staring at her,

" I plan to rest here !".

Frowning in confusion ,her eyes fluttering for a second on the bench left at the corner ,it was suitable for sleeping or resting but not at all for someone with Khaled's height and physique .

"How you going to sleep on that bench ?".

"Who says I am going to sleep on the bench ?".Khaled queried  nonchalant .

"Then ?" Emaan asked confused but seeing Khaled gesturing towards the bed with eyes made her orbs dilate asking,

"You mean we share this bed ?".

"Yeah !", He shrugged, "Its not like it's the first time !". Khaled changed his position on the bed as he move to sit next to Emaan.

A bit baffled and more so worried ,Emaan scoot aside asking ,

"But what if I end up hurting you in sleep ! Your wound might ..I don't want to hurt you even ...!". Her words remained unsaid as Khaled leaned softly touching her cheeks ,his eyes staring deep into her soul as he assured ,

"You can never hurt me Emaan !".Smiling ,at little tincture and seeing his reflection sparkling in those beautiful honey eye made a sweet feeling refuge inside him ,when he smiling to himself  moved back adding,

"And have you seen yourself ?You are chipmunk before me !Instead you should be afraid I might hurt or crush you !".

"I am not that small ! For your kind information I was tallest girl in our entire family !".Emaan bragged.

"Really ?", Khaled quirked his brow laying down on the bed ,"What were you guys ?Family of dwarves ?".

Emaan's eyes bulged in shock  while Khaled pressed his lips to hold his amusement which he was failing at completely before Emaan looking away holding the rising curve of her own petulant lips  ,thinking how foolishly she fell for his distraction, sighing and controlling her expressions she demanded ,

"You won't listen to me ?".

Khaled pulling her to sleep on his arm stated ,

"No I won't !".

"Why are you so stubborn ?". Emaan whined gazed up at him .

"I am just following my wife's footsteps !".

"I am not stubborn !". Emaan defended .

"Yeah sure ! And parrots don't talk ". Khaled quipped back

"They ..." Emaan realising the wordplay of her husband ,looked up and slapped his chest only to wince out herself in pain as a weird current latched through her injured wrist .

Khaled urgently jerk on his elbows and held her hand in worry launching questions of endless worry.Emaan tried assure him ,holding onto the tears that had collected in her eyes ,not just by the pain shooting her down her wrist but those grotesque memories attached with that wound but when her gaze took notice of Khaled's bandaid hands ,her all control pulverised as tears slipped out of her eyes heightening Khaled's sense of apprehension .He sat up instantly ,his quick movement oozing a deathly pain in his stitches but he hardly any time to care about the wound when his relief was shedding tears .

He could only focus one pain ,either the one that erupted out of his physical wound or the one which shelled the ease of his heart and suffocated his soul .And he obviously, knew what pain he had to focus on .

"Is it hurting a lot ? Lets ...". Khaled was saying when Emaan interrupted ,holding his hand in turn,

"You got so much hurt cause of me !".Emaan sniffed.

Khaled sighed as he made Emaan face him and moving back the hair channeling out of the hijab he whispered ,

"Seriously Emaan you got hurt more than me and you are crying over my wounds ! You know Hamza was right but only difference is he said you will scold me seeing my wound and if you ask me I would chose to get scolded then to see you shedding these precious tears !". Khaled padded away the tear .

"But I ..I don't want to be even the last person to hurt you yet I keep becoming the reason behind your every suffering !..."She bit her lips to hold herself from crying harder .

"Emaan..."

"That's why I am telling you to go and rest .But you won't listen .I don't want to see ...". Emaan stopped as Khaled cupping her face made her look at him ,

"Emaan do I really have to word it out to make you understand that it's still hard for me to believe you are here .That I am, still scared if I close my eyes you will vanish away .My need to hold you close to me cause I fear this will turn out to be a dream .My need to stay close to you to believe you are really here ,before me ...". Khaled sighed looked away running his hand in his frustration.

He wanted to stand out as strong before Emaan when she was the most vulnerable and weak but he had ended up showing his weak side to her .She needed someone to hold her ,to support her and he had gone ruining it all .This frustrated him .

When Emaan raising up on her knees and wrapping her arms around his neck hugged him tightly as if her life depended on him, she whispered ,

"I am here !".And it didn't took more than seconds despite the shock, Khaled wrapped his one hand round her waist and pull her more closer while digging his face into her neck .

Finally what it felt like an eternity ,when they moved back ,Emaan's face was drench in tears before she glancing down whispered

"I am sorry !".

"And here comes the apology! ". Khaled brushed away the tears making Emaan squint her eyes ,"If you are really apologetic then stop torturing me by shedding these precious tears !".

"I am not crying !".She sniffed .

"Yeah I can see that ! ". Khaled rubbed away fresh tears ,"My wife is so honest !". He laid down pulling Emaan along with him.

At his sarcastic tone ,Emaan glared up at him ,even though she wanted to intimidate him but with red nose ,pooled up brown doe eyes and puffed cheeks made her near no where she wanted to be, leaving Khaled only more amused and betwitched ,

"I am honest !".

"Yeah sure !".

"And I am also not short !".

"Yeah absolutely ! You are the tallest dwarf of your family !".

Emaan looked up complaining ,

"I am not a dwarf ,it's just you are a giant !".

"Okay ! I am giant, happy ?".

"Yeah !". A meek approval made Khaled smile as he pulled Emaan in a hug ,ensuing a silence ,a deep calming and soothing silence and Khaled really felt all exhaustion coming back to him as his eyes started pulling down the drapers when he heard her ,timid voice ,

"Khaled ?".

"Hmm ?".

"It will get better right ?".

"Of course .Allah is our Rab .It will obviously get better my Qalb !".

There was calamitous darkness surrounding her ,she couldn't even see her hands and sound was only limited to her breathing ,she wanted to call out but nothing came out except air .She was getting panicked when all of sudden ,a bright light blinded her and in next seconds when she opened her eyes ,she was back in her home in India ,in the middle of corridor leading to kitchen.

Her heart dropped several beats cause she knew what was to come ,she was fearful to move from her place when the door behind her open and as she turn she was left shocked for a second before the happiness cocooned her seeing her mother walking in with a beautiful smile .

"What are you doing in the middle of corridor Emmi ?".

Oh how much she had missed name called in that soothing voice

Ready to cry yet beyond any measurement of happiness in her heart ,she whispered ,

"Ammi !".She rushed to Nabilah and hugged her tightly ,

"I missed you Ammi ! I missed you a lot !". When her all happiness broke down when she saw her father stumbling inside ,in all injured and blood rimmed clothes ,Emaan moved out of the hug in shock ,

"Abbu .." But her eyes bulged out more when she saw blood in her hands and no sooner her mother and father collapsed before her while she shrieked out in pain ,calling out in anguish ,holding them tightly .When she shadow felt loom over her and as she looked up to be left in surprise seeing Yamama standing before her ,

"What happened Emaan ? Don't worry I will get help !".

Still confused and bewildered ,she watched Yamama rushed towards the direction of kitchen, when her gaze noticing the sudden crack slither over the wall and no sooner a loud sound echoed , horrifying Emaan to no limit as memories of ghastly event resurfaced .She tried to shout for Yamama but no words came out and in mere seconds the room had pulverised before her .

Anguished,her breath coming out like she had been strangled ,Emaan rushed toward the broken boulders and trying to remove it to find Yamama but neither her voice came out ,neither she could remove the boulder and she helplessly bowed on her knees crying when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder ,

"Ukhti please save my Abba !". Hasan stood next to her pleading her and she didn't had time to react when he pulled her with him only to be taken before limp body of Jamal where Aljida stood near his body weeping.

"Make him live .You can do it right ?".Hasan pleaded holding her hand .

Why was it again happening with her  ?

She walked closer to his body and as she sat down to touch his pulse ,his body was cold and pulse silent .Her hand shivered and her voice had no courage to reveal the truth when she gazed up ,her eyes dilated in shock as she saw the dishevelled condition of Aljida ,all blood rimmed and soulless eyes .She stumbled down on the ground with a force making Emaan rush to him ,trying to hold and help her but her eyes boring deep into Emaan's finally came to a still and so her breath .

Whimpering and her eyes raining down tears, she shook Aljida but she remained cold and motionless to her any cries and tears .Emaan hugged her tightly .

"Don't worry daughter ! I will save you .I will live for you !". At the sudden voice ,she raised her head to see Dr Isa looking at her with a smile  but she had hardly realised anything when every wall trembled and shivered violently until everything came crashing down ,her shriek lost in the sound of collapse .

She was ready of feeling any pain yet Emaan when opened her eyes, felt alive and drenched as if she was drowning yet afloat and it is when the dust eventually started to settle ,she finally caught a look around herself only to have her heart squeezed as what drenched her body was blood .

Hyperventilating and breathless , she stood up ,the blood drenching her till ankles .She stepped back in horror but much terror was when finally the dust completely settled ,she could see the dead bodies of her loved ones floating in the blood water as the slimy voice echoed ,

"You couldn't save them !". It became louder and louder before Emaan felt greasy hands grab her by ankles pulling her down in the blood .Flinching back while yelping in shock she stumbled back on the water ,only to find those grimy hands find more hideous faces ,cackling amongst themselves and closing in while she pushed herself to stand up but she felt lost of strength ,seeing them nearing her with their hands hovering above her,she closed her eyes shrieking out loud and she finally woke up to a room breathing harder than ever ,tears already drenching her face .

In between performing wudu for Fajr salah ,Khaled held a muffled voice and he rushed out only to be left horrified as Emaan was struggling to breathe with her entire face red with crying as she stared at her hands in anguish .

Khaled rushed to her side calling out to her name softly but when her broken gaze met his ,he felt thousand needles boring inside him seeing the puddle of pain swimming in those brown ones where he wished and prayed only for happiness and joy to breathe .

He noticed how much her hands were shivering and he slowly moved to hold them but shocking him Emaan flinched at his touch making him scoot his hand away instantly before calming himself , he probed ,as gently as he could,

"What happened hayati ?".

There was no reply making Khaled gulp down the sheer helplessness churning inside him ,before he again tried,

"Emaan look at me ! Its me Khaled !Tell me what happened ?".

"There's all blood ! There's all blood !Everywhere !".

"No there is not !". Khaled replied softly, before he moved to sit before her ,holding her one hand and seeing her calm ,he moved on to grasping another one also ,

"There is no blood little warrior !". At his softness ,something eased inside her but it only melted down the pain that burdened on her heart as she whispered ,

"I couldn't save them ! I couldn't save any of them !". Her lips wobbled in pain before she lowered her head bursting out crying while Khaled moved to engulf her in his embrace ,trying to infuse security through his actions and serenity through words of his and HIM.
___________________________________

It had been few days yet instead heading towards betterment ,Emaan's state seemed to be descending to more worse .Her physical wounds had started to heal but it was her internal wounds that seemed to had lost ways to curing.Even her sleep were deprived of serenity as the occasional nightmares made her even afraid of sleeping or more evidently the fear of seeing those moments again and again which she wished could be erased and vanquished. Lewd gazes ,hideous laughter and disgusting touches crawled over like maggots and more worse was watching Dr Isa die again and again and failing to protect even in her dreams aggravating the guilt in her heart ,that if she hadn't left Dr Isa ,he wouldn't taken that action ,he wouldn't have died ,he would be here .

They say ,once it becomes a regular phenomenon,one becomes use to it whether it's an emotion or action .But it seemed so false as Emaan couldn't just make herself use to losing people again and again.She was tired and it pained her more that in the end she was only left behind .No matter how much she hold on ,they left ,how much she begged they never returned.Yet she kept standing for them to turn back ,to come back but they never .In the end ,she was only the hurt most, left with only memories ,which were once a source of happiness,now she didn't knew what they were anymore ,to be happy they happened or to be sad that they will never happen again .

She didn't knew how to move on ,even if she cried the hardest they won't respond but she also didn't knew how to walk away from the place they left her behind , how to feel back happy or herself again .And this time ,she just seemed to lost all ways back,was she to blame the pain of overwhelming darkness or she had lost all courage .

She lifted her hands ,she couldn't even make sujood due to her injury on her ankles and it just felt more addition to her pain .She knew as soon her wound will heal she could make sujood but when one feels broken then even smallest pain feels unquenchable misery and negativity co-exists like a guest that never leaves .But Emaan didn't wanted to think pessimistic thoughts ,she didn't wanted to cry as she knew her sadness made others more morose,she wanted to act alright ,she didn't wanted to burden her sadness on others ,but despite every effort, she couldn't .She just felt so weak and mostly cause she felt her faith at its lowest ,she felt furthest from her Rab than ever.

No matter how much she tried to put reasons in her mind ,tried to remind the mercy of her Rab yet the nagging thought her Rab didn't liked her ,that's why she kept losing people even though she didn't wanted to think like that .But after her parents ,all she did was see people dying .Yamama, Jamshed Amu ,Aljida ,Dr Duraid,Dr Isa one after the other.Maybe she didn't deserve any love ,she was destined to be alone .But why was she endowed with such crass destiny ? Was wanting to love and loved is such sin ? .Everybody wished it, so why her desiring was so wrong and always had a such cruel end .

And it all culminated to one thought ,she must deserve this destiny as she must have done wrong or more correctly she had been doing all wrong cause she knew her Rab was merciful ,who loved to give ,who doesn't punish ,then her losing everytime and everything made sense that she was the one wrong .But how to put wrong into right ,she didn't knew ? She didn't knew what was wrong in the first place.All she knew she was a sinner but she didn't knew how not to be any ,what was the major sin making her bearer of such ghastly tragedies .She wanted to know cause she had people she didn't wanted to lose anymore ,but how, she didn't knew and it broke her heart more in the fear of losing them also .

She kept losing people and the hollow their departure created filled with more pain and sorrow.And the love that once made her feel warm and happy now burdened her with such massive loneliness that it felt wherever she ran or shout ,no one will find her or answer her back .She will forever be lost and lonely .

It felt like a tight slap on all the high word of faith and trust she whispered out to everyone and now she herself was lost ,she was failing ardently to follow them ,a hypocrite maybe that was her crime .All these thoughts wrecked her mind as tears dropped from her eyes and all Emaan could whisper out ,despite that avalanche of thoughts ,

"I am sorry !I am sorry ". Emaan covered her face and her body shook .She knew these weak moments she was supposed to hold onto the rope of Allah more tightly ,but it seemed every strength had vanquished from her existence.She felt weakest , too damaged to put up a fight .And this scared her gravely with one thought,

What if Allah also left her behind ? What if she lost HIM also ? What will she be left with ?

But she couldnt stop people from leaving ,how was she the useless self do to save herself from losing her Rab .

But tangled in the mess of pessimism which devil mastered in weaving ,Emaan had forgotten ,Allah never leaves ,it's HIS servants who leaves yet HE keeps waiting for them to come back,always helping them even when they never pleaded for it ,loving them even when they failed to love themselves.

His love was always perfect for HIS imperfect abd ...yet most often bitter reality of life blinded one to see the most beautiful reality of life ,that no matter how much hard we try our love would be imperfect but that imperfect love was precious to Ar Rahman who needed none .

Emaan stood up from the chair ,putting the loose tassle of her hijab inside the wrapping round her neck but the cloth kept slipping partly due to its material and partly due to her washed hair .Though no man had entered her room barring Khaled and once Dr Masry ,Emaan just couldn't ignore the weird feeling of meeting Dr Masry without her Abaya though she was fully covered and decent but it just didn't felt right yet she had no option seeing her injuries and weak condition she couldn't ask to be transfer to the dorm all she could do was to make sure she was covered and modest even without her Abaya .Her clothing was never the problem as they always loose but her hijab was giving the trouble .Somehow managing to pray with it ,Emaan surfed through the table to look for her pins .

When like vile hiss of snake, the thought striked her, that she had her hijab ripped off and so did the pins but it seemed too bitter to accept ,cause as far as she could remember one of the pin was the one her mother gifted her .And just the thought she had lost it ,dither her entity to no bound . She couldn't lose it ,she couldn't ...she had lost their love but she couldn't lose what reminded of their love .Those things were as imperative to her as any memory.

Panicked and distraught ,Emaan fumbled through the things on table ,hoping and praying she could find her mother's pin .But with every empty drawer ,her heart dropped more like a sinking ship burdened by the water of pain ,that had started swimming in her eyes unabashedly.

She didn't deserved her parents love but was she undeserving of even the things that reminded that once she was loved .

What did she deserve to be treated like this ?

Why she kept losing everything ? Why ?

She didn't wished bad for anyone then why her life was so messed up ?...

Rubbing off her tears ,Emaan check through the side drawer with frustration and sadness concocting a toxic potions rendering brutal storm or emotions inside her echoing how alone and lonely she was how barren her destiny was ?Everyone deserved to be loved but she was warranted to be left alone and ignored .Amidst such heartbreaking thoughts flinching her existence she heard ,a worried warm voice ,so much different from the chilling echoes inside her .

"Emaan ? Why are you sitting like this ? Your injury...". But he bit back his word seeing the tears ready to blink out making him hold her face asking ,

"Why are you crying Noor ? What happened ?".
Khaled had straight walked back from the surgery and rushed to check on Emaan but when reaching the room his eyes landed on the glass panel and seeing the empty bed ,his heart squeezed in apprehension as he lunged inside ,his eyes running around the room to stuck at Emaan who was sitting down looking inside the drawer .

Gulping the lump forming in her throat ,Emaan fully turned towards Khaled ,holding his hand asking ,

"Kh..Khaled when you brought me here ,did you ..did you find my hijab..I was wearing that day ?".

Khaled felt a bit perturbed by the question yet he replied,

"Yeah I did ! But ...". Khaled couldn't complete when Emaan interjected,

"Did you find any pin in it !". Emaan's eyes shined with hope more or tears ,it was debatable but when Khaled nodded in negative and that twinkle vanished as soon as one tear escaped out of its abode making it seemed,it wasn't just one drop of tear ,it looked like all hope inside Emaan had subsumed in those dainty drop as her eyes swirled with pain and helplessness .Khaled felt a huge boulder collapse down on his heart as he making her look at him and rubbing away the tears asked ,as if she was a child ,

"Emaan ,my hayati ,what happened ?".

"I ..I can't find my hijab pin !".

There was slight hint of confusion but it didn't mar Khaled's worry as all his thought and mind was concentrated in making Emaan stop crying and relieved ,

"I will buy you as many hijab pins you want qalb ! You don't need to cry for them !"..

Emaan closed her eyes as she lowered her face while covering with her hands ,

"No you can't ! It was my mother's pin .She gave it to me and I have lost it forever !". Tears splurged out of her eyes in agony tearing down Khaled's sanctity to much deeper level ,his mind immediately flashing with memory of the pin he had found in his coat .

Khaled still couldn't forget the relief on Emaan's face when he had given her back that pin . If that pin had the power to provide such huge relief, then he knew it had the strength to hurt her with no bound when he making her gaze up at him and wiping away the tears he said ,

"First come with me ,if you gonna sit like that your injury will get worse !". Emaan tried to deny while shaking her head,

"No !I need to search it !".

"Emaan come with me !". Khaled asserted firmly making Emaan give in eventually .Helping her to stand up and making her sit on the bed ,he poured her a glass of water .Despite her denial ,he offered her and making her take few sips,he went back to the drawers and began searching himself .

Sniffing and watching diligently with a hope that Khaled could find the pin but when she saw him closing back the last drawer with no news of finding it ,the heart she was trying to befool, puss out a excruciating pain lashing her eyes to pool up while Khaled tracing his steps back to her ,sat before her while holding her hand her asking ,

"Are you really sure you wore it that day ?".

Biting her lips hard ,to prevent herself breaking down ,Emaan nodded before looking down she added ,

"I wore it everyday ! It made me felt my mother was with me !". Emaan gulped yet she couldn't stop the crack in her voice ,aggravating the feeling of destituteness inside her,

"But I ended up losing that feeling also ! Why do I keep losing everything ?Why nothing stays with me ?". Emaan hiding her face within the boundaries of her knees and arms ,

"Why I have nobody by my side ? Why am I so lonely ? Why ?..."

Khaled felt a knife pierce through his heart hearing Emaan ,to think she felt alone even he was there ,just before her ,scathed his existence to no bound making him whisper out , a bitter taste already been left behind in his mouth .

"You say you are lonely ,you have nobody by your side ? Am I also dead in your eyes ?".

Emaan jerk her head up and her lips wobbled as she tried to whisper out anything to defend herself or more to assure Khaled but nothing came out except tears .She held Khaled's forearm trying to force words out but no avail ,all she could to do was to nod in negative .

Feeling more helpless than ever and his sudden bitterness vapourising in mere seconds ,Khaled looked at Emaan and now raging at himself for saying those words seeing her breaking down more ,he moved close and embraced her and seeing Emaan's no adverse reaction ,his hold got more firm .

And this action was enough to give the helpless and stranded existence finally find words to whisper as she holding onto his shirt confessed,

"I am sorry Khaled ! I didn't mean to ! I am sorry ! I say things I don't want to ! I keep losing people I don't want to ! But I cant ..I didn't mean to ..you ...I am sorry ! I am really sorry Khaled! Please don't get angry ! Please don't leave me..".

"My Jaan ,my Noor .I am not angry with you .I can never be angry with you .And who says I am leaving you .I am not leaving you ever .Please dont apologise my little warrior ! Rather I am sorry .I am sorry that I couldn't protect you .I couldn't come sooner, that I couldn't find you sooner .I am sorry that you had to go through everything alone.. !". Khaled's expression held shivering vulnerability and pain and his voice like softest wind but his next word held the strongest determination of strongest gale as he asserted ,

"But no more and never again I promise.And I am here ! I am here with you .I am not going anywhere my qalb !I am with you always!".

Like the warm sunrays kissing away the ice over the frozen river finally letting it to breathe and feel free, his words had melted down every reservoir of emotions she had been holding and carrying around ,the words gave her courage ensuing to opening up of the agony slithering inside the deepest dungeons of her heart .Emaan pressing her head in his chest whispered ,

"Why ..why does it keep happening with me Khaled ? I don't know what I am doing wrong ?I am tired !I don't know how to be strong anymore Khaled ! I don't know how ..."

What it felt when the one you wished to shine the brightest break apart ,the one you wished to be always happy were left with only reasons to cry and they tremble in your arm ,while you hold onto them tightly yet they broke more and more .It pained like never before .And Khaled felt the same pain coiled inside him with so fury and guilt of not able to protect Emaan ,of failing to keep her happy .He had never thought he would have to see her like this ,so broken and damaged .That she reached saturation point only cause he didn't live up to the promise of keeping her happy .And it broke him more yet he knew he could not .He could not let any regret or rage end up causing more damage to the oasis of his life .If Emaan felt weak ,it meant he had  to uphold stronger ,he needed to remind her who was the STRONGEST from where all strength came from .

He moved back caressing her head lightly and gently stroking away the tears ,which served as a combustive force to wildfire avalanching inside him ,Khaled whispered ,

"Emaan do you think I can hurt you intentionally ?Do you think I will leave you alone deliberately?".

Emaan didn't look up yet sniffing she nodded in negative making Khaled sigh and brushing away loose strand of a hair strand behind her ear he stated ,

"Then if you can believe in the love of such an imperfect being then how come you don't believe in the love of the most perfect ! If HE is making you go through this unbearable pain cause HE knows and believe you can bear it ,so if Allah holds such an high expectation from you then why you hold such low expectation of HIM ?". Khaled paused as Emaan finally glanced up,

"If Allah can trust us weak being even at our lowest point then whats stopping us to trust the most strongest of all who has no low point ,no weakness ?Why do you think HE will leave you alone ,that HE won't help you ,that HE will not replace all these agonising moments with unbounded happiness ,that HE will not heal you ? Emaan ,our Rab took care of us when we couldn't , when we didn't had the strength to eat or walk or even say what we wanted in clear words .HE made others around to work for us even though we were not in position to ask for HIS help rather we were oblivious of HIS existence, then why do you think when you feel weak and incapable of going on ,HE won't help you ,He won't fill you with strength .HE is the same Lord who helped us when we couldn't utter single word of our wants yet he fulfilled it then why do you think when you are aware of HIS existence,when you call out to HIM ,Rab won't help you .HE doesn't need words even now ,to know what you want or need help with .Just trust HIM that Allah will help you ! Just like a child does, when it cries it knows people will listen then how come the most merciful Rab won't hear your pleas?".

Emaan kept staring at Khaled ,his words seemed like a rigorous shake from the delirium ,like a magic that had captivated her existence and finally made her see the world beyond the mountain of pain that blinded her .

Allah never left ,it was us who did ,

Allah never stopped caring ,it was us who stopped noticing .

"Emaan if we humans with such tiny fragile heart can love with such intensity ,that losing our loved ones or seeing them suffer makes us also bleed in pain ,makes us feel dead inside then what do you think the extent of limitless love of Allah would be?If one love as limited and imperfect as ours has the power to break us then how cannot the perfect limitless love of Allah hold the power to heal us and build us in a way that no one can break us ever again! ".Khaled smiling softly as he brushed away the fresh set of tears he cupped her face ,

"Don't give up Emaan when Allah hasn't given up on you.And about me , I am here Emaan by your side until my last breath .And it's alright if you don't know how to be strong ,I am here to be your strength until you find your own but also know that even when you feel the weakest ,to me my little warrior will still always be the strongest !". Khaled smiled while Emaan stared back at him with tears shinning in her eyes resembling like cosolieum of galaxies but the love they caged within those earthly orbs could outwit all the shine of heavenly stars . As if ready to spread like the earth, if those hazel orbs were promised a destiny to dazzle like the tropical forest bathing in pure and warm light of dawn .

Wiping away the tear that had slipped out of her eyes ,Khaled gazed at Emaan whispering ,

"Cry all you want ,complain but never say you are alone !Okay ?".

Emaan nodded like a child making Khaled lips curve a smile while caressing her face lightly, he kept gazing at her with such love and delicateness ,as if scared that not just rough touch but any coarseness in his eyes would break her, before he asked ,

"Did you eat something ?". At her nod of negative ,Khaled gave a disappointed look making Emaan look down sheepishly but she gazed up as Khaled held her hand asking ,

"What does my Queen wants to eat ?".

A lazy yet exquisite smile broke on Emaan's face enchanting Khaled in mere seconds but before she could say anything ,they heard the door open with loud thud and Myza walked in ,her expressions held plethora of emotions yet dominated by two : rage and sadness .

"Dr Myza have you forgotten the decency to knock the door before entering someone's room ?". Khaled hissed standing up .

"Decency ?". Myza smiled bitterly ,"You never took my permission when you entered my heart !".

Khaled's face contorted in a distasteful expression as he whispered ,

"What insanity are you whispering ?".

"Insanity ? My feelings are insanity to you ?". Myza chuckled slightly despite tears tripping down her eyes .

"Have you lost it Dr Myza ? What are you talking about ?". Khaled clenched his jaw ,trying to keep his anger at bay .

"You don't know ? I thought you were a genius ! Who knows everything and understand without saying, you couldn't see my feelings for you ? You want me to believe me you never realised how much I love you ?".Myza's lips wobbled as she stepped closer holding accusations in her eyes .

Khaled was taken aback for a second before he gritting his teeth ,stated as calmly as he could and manage,

"Could you please stop embarassing yourself and leave Dr Myza !".

"No I won't ! I kept doing what you asked me thinking foolishly that you will notice me,I thought we were perfect for eachother and then you suddenly announce you married her ?". Myza glared at Emaan but Khaled shifted hiding Emaan behind her ,who stared in complete shock,

"I won't allow you to misbehave with Emaan !Not even a word ".Khaled warned in deadly grave voice making Myza cower a bit .Empathetic and feeling extremely bad ,Emaan held Khaled' s hand and as he looked back at her ,her eyes pleading him to remain calm when they heard Myza whose eyes were fixated on their enjoined hands,

"Why her of all people ? Why you chose her over me ?I kept thinking about this again and again ? It was sympathy, right ? You adopted orphan children so charity comes natural to you ?".

Khaled clenched his jaw and he closed his eyes before he hissed ,

"Okay enough ! What is your problem Dr Myza ? And who do you think you are that I should explain or ask permission who I want to marry or not ?And why are you acting like I forced you to have feelings or I promised you anything ? More importantly,who are you to belittle Emaan ?For your kind information,even if you become the bestest version of yourself ,I will still keep choosing Emaan over you or any girl in this world ! Get that ,inhale that and leave !".

Emaan shocked at the crassness of his tone, squeezed Khaled's hand totally unhappy with the way he said it .As on many level she sympathized with Myza and she knew she was heart broken and she didn't wanted Khaled to be the cause Myza's heart suffers more but her goodness was taken for something else as Myza whispered ,

"Yeah ! You are right ! She is best ! She is really kind ,soft hearted .She seems like who can never hurt anyone ,always positive!That's what I thought ! These qualities also attracted you right ?". Myza smiled widely exhuming psychotic vibes ,

"But you know what ? These qualities !They are facade ! A big lie ! You didnt knew what I felt ,right ? But she knew what I felt about you ,how much I loved you but she kept enjoying as what I wished and desired was already her's .She never even tried to stop me .Why would she ? It would stop her entertainment.I must looked a real fool, right Dr Emaan ? You must have enjoyed ,belittling and mocking me internally while posing that disgusting smile .And now also you hold his hand trying to show off and put me down ,right ? You are disgus..."

"ENOUGH ! Leave right now!", Khaled's voice boomed in the entire room making Myza squirm back flinching while Emaan kept her other hand over their enjoined hands trying to calm Khaled ,who was doing his best despite the volcano that was blasting inside ,if in place of Myza there was a man he would have knocked him down way earlier .

Broken more than before and carrying tears more than she had come with ,Myza giving a betrayed look rushed out of the room while closing the door with much louder thud than she had came with .

Khaled rubbed his forehead before he turn to Emaan , resting his one knee on the bed he sat on it and keeping his other hand over their enjoined hands ,he said ,

"I am sorry Emaan !Are you alright ?". His hand moved to her side of head, "Its my fault I should have dealt with all this .But I will make sure it never..".

"No dont apologise ! I know it was unexpected for you too ! ". Emaan look down before glancing back asking ,

"So now everyone knows about us ,huh ?".

"Yeah it just happened ! And it's no use of hiding when everything about informer ...has been settled ! But still I am sorry that you had to hear those ...".

"Dont apologise .Its not your fault ! And I should be ready for such reactions after all I am married to the famous bachelor of hospital !". At her words ,Khaled glance up in shock only to have his lips curve into a smile seeing Emaan holding a much more beautiful one .

"Biwi ,are you making fun of me now ?".Khaled squinted his eyes making her smile stretch a higher altitude as she nodded in negative replying,

"No !". Ensuing a beautiful eye contact between them when fearful of Khaled reading her internal qualms, she breaking the conversation between their eyes ,she looking at where she had seen his wound ,approached ,

"You keep working despite the big wound ! How will it heal then ?". Her eyes holding helplessness ,anger , disappointment ,care but emotion that dominated most of all was love ,that glimmered the like unearthed gold in those exquisite brown orbs yet their depth will forever be unknown .

"Dont worry .It will heal rather it's already healing .You know I have strong immunity !So no need to burden yourself with more worries !". Khaled lovingly fondled her head when Emaan gazing at her hands asserted,

"Worrying about is not a burden to me .I don't want to see you in pain!".

"Likewise qalb !likewise !". Khaled leaned down to the head level of Emaan making her eyes lift up at him before saying ,

"Please take rest !".

"I do take rest Emaan !".

"No you do not ! Rest is what I am doing what you do is working endlessly ! You won't allow me to work like this but you keep working ? You work day and night and when you get free time you come to me, where do you have time for rest ?".

"I do rest Emaan .And it's just a small wound and this wound is incomparable to yours and to the pain I feel seeing you in this condition !". An helpless expression stalked his face.

"So I am taking rest so that I get healed faster.So why don't you take rest so that your wound get healed too ! Cause I also cant see you ...in pain !" .Emaan lowered her face ,a pained expression on deftly homing on her face when a loud sigh of Khaled made her look up ,

"Okay I will take rest ! Now happy !".

"Promise me you will take a day off and rest completely !".

"Day off ? Emaan do you realise what you are saying ? If I am gonna take a day off then who is going to manage piles of surgeries and patients?".

"If you can't a take day off then I will also start working !". Emaan huffed .

"Emaan !". Khaled glared .

"I won't eat also !". Emaan informed again.

"What ?". Khaled stared at her incredulously who was avoiding to look at him deliberately,

"How come you have become so stubborn ? Wait you were always stubborn !". Except a pointed glare ,Khaled didn't get any response from Emaan .

"You can't be serious Emaan ?". Still getting silent response ,Khaled huffed whispering ,

"Ya laha min fatat eanida!". Before he agreed,

(What a stubborn girl !)

"Okay ! I will take a day off !".

Finally seeing an approved and appreciated look ,a relief penetrated inside him but he only showed his disapproved look on his face when Emaan passing an appeasing smile stated ,

"You know, I am feeling hungry !".

"Shukr hai ! I am going to get the lunch and you better don't say you are full after two morsel !". Khaled warned as he stood up ,

(Thank goodness)

"I am going to get it .But no overthinking rather don't think only or better think about me ,okay ?". Khaled passed a gracious smile which Emaan mirrored and dropping a light peck on her head ,he walked out .

And as the presence of Khaled vanish ,the smile on Emaan started decimating and a tear as if waiting for it's fallen fate ,land down on her cheek before she wiped it off hastily .She didn't wanted to think ,she wanted to follow what Khaled had said but if she didn't wanted to think ,even if she tried to think nothing ,the words themselves kept bellowing in her ears ,louder and louder .

Forcing Khaled to leave to rest while she had Zeba to accompany her through her lunch ,Emaan eventually pretending to be feel sleepy and enacted fall asleep cause in the end , she didn't wanted just cause she was in pain ,the others taking care of her forget about themselves or suffer or put themselves in pain .She wanted to make them feel they took care of her without overburdening themselves .If they could go out of their ways to make sure she was taken care of then it felt it was her job to make sure their care didn't come at the price of their own well being .

Who could have known the happiness of being taken care of better than her who had known ignorance and loneliness all too well . And she didn't wanted to lose it again.

She had sensed Zeba leaving and even heard her conversation with Khaled at the door ,

"She fell asleep ?".

"Yeah a while ago !". Zeba replied .

"Okay !".

After that ,Emaan had felt Khaled's presence near her .She had feared Khaled acknowledging her pretense but instead feeling a light touch near her side of temple pounding her heart to higher summits ,the warmth that flutter through her core vanished as she heard the sound of door closing announcing Khaled's departure .She wouldn't have be honest if she was to portray it didn't sulked her heart a bit but she also knew he couldn't rest properly if he had stayed with her .And if he had opted to stay longer ,he would have guessed her act eventually and she couldn't sleep in real .She was scared of sleeping or more correctly she was afraid of tormenting nightmares ,revisiting those horrendous memories again and again .Her heart couldn't bare to see her loved ones dying again and again and her failing to protect them ,again and again.

But at the moment what kept her awake wasn't just the fear of nightmares but recurrent echoing words of Myza ,her broken state kept flashing before her eyes .She never wanted to hurt anyone but even though it wasn't deliberate ,her state and words echoed enough how much devastated Myza was .Emaan knew what felt to lose someone and to know she was behind someone losing the one they loved ,even if it wasn't intentional yet the guilt was profound and gravitational enough to cultivate the idea to approach and apologise .But she also knew ,Khaled wouldn't like her going out with her injuries but she couldn't also settle and wait for her injuries to get healed while keep feeling she did wrong to someone ,that there was someone suffering cause of her .

She also knew apology won't do any good to Myza ,maybe it was more of her selfish desire to free herself from shackles of guilt but no matter however greedy or unwanted her apology seemed ,even if Myza doesn't accepts it ,she still wanted to apologise cause to feel that heart already suffering also end up feeling useless because the one who hurted doesn't even acknowledge the pain they caused ,to recognise your suffering means nothing to them is scathingly hurtful and she didn't wanted to hurt her more than she already did without intending to .

Thinking for a while ,Emaan eventually whispering Bismillah and loads of dua pulled out her Abaya and hijab and with a slight limp she walked out of the room .It had been days since she had seen those halls and corridors and it felt good but what diminished that goodness was the weird glances and unusual whispering and murmurring erupting seeing her presence .

Thinking the attention to be the cause of all the happenings and revelation of her being married to Khaled ,she tried to ignore it even though it felt hard and she wanted to retrace her steps back as the attention never served her well .

And it was weird that despite glances and whispering ,no one tried to approach her and somewhat it made Emaan hesitant too and unnerved,she was thinking of going back cause of the uneasy feeling when lost in her thoughts she end up stumbling with two nurses at the turn of corridor ,who eventually looked shock before they smiled ,

"Oh Dr Emaan ! What are you doing outside in this condition ?".

"Ah !I was going to meet Dr Myza !".

"Dr Myza ?". The nurse asked in shock making Emaan frown in confusion when other one added quickly ,

"Oh she is just shock that I instead of resting you are walking .You should take care ! You look so weak !".

"I will ! Jazakallah Khairan for worrying !". Emaan passed a smile before walking ahead when thinking of asking them about people's behaviour she ambled back only to stop abruptly overhearing the conversation of the two nurses .

"What ? I was just confused why she was going to Dr Myza ?".

"Obviously to beg that she doesn't marry Dr Khaled as no matter how good a man is ,he can't tolerate to have a wife touched by other men .And Dr Emaan was with those kidnappers for one entire day and haven't you seen her state .I have heard she has nightmares and difficulty in sleeping .Such traumas only leads to insanity and no one wants to spend the life with an insane person !".

Emaan was left speechless ,she couldn't in her dreams think that people could say such things ,not knowing what to do ,she turn back walking all lost and aghast .

Their words ringing in her ear ,now the glances and whispers felt like all held only those words and meanings ,she couldnt think of any other reasons and what she had been trying to ignore felt scathing and overbearing more than ever.

Did everyone think like that ?

Her steps reaching near her shared office ,yet those words even hindered her thoughts about apologising .Just a step away from door ,when she heard Urwa ,

"Don't waste your tears Myza .Who knew Dr Khaled would have a such degrading choice ? It would have been better if he had chosen someone from our country, even if not chose among us...I mean Myza but to chose Emaan ,that foreigner ...she is complete pushover ,no personality seriously !".

"Yeah well it's a general fact ,the more pure and sweet one acts the more vicious they are in reality and she proved it .She must have befooled Dr Khaled with this two faced visciousness of hers. Seduced him with her 'I am so good attitude' ,like Dr Khaled who never looked at any woman ,not marrying from his own country ,why did he chose to marry her ? Two faced witch". A feminine voice ushered .

"But I think he will be now regretting his choice !". Urwa smirked .

"Why ?".

"Why you ask ? What do you think people are infants ,everyone is talking about how it's impossible for any women to spend a day under the custody of those monsters and remain untouched .Those are beasts ,they won't leave a baby then how can she ...!Don't you think how shameful it to is live with a woman who has been ...ravished by so many men !What if she gets pregnant ?She is more of a slut than a wife now .You know mostly women with modesty and shame commit suicide but she is still alive .Well any modest woman will do so but we know she is not !".

"Astaghfirullah Urwa !".

"What Astaghfirullah? I am not saying anything wrong ! Don't you have heard what others are saying that she must have warmed their bed very nicely that's why they left her alive !".

Emaan pressed her hand over her mouth to succumb the whimper but one lone dreadful tear rain down her eye involuntarily .The words held so much disgust that she felt her entire existence exhuming with stink of their profanity .

How could people say such things ?

How could they blame such blasphemy over her character .

Ya Allah what kind of world is this yours ?

Feeling the strength leaving her legs ,Emaan turned around ,still shocked and seeping all those disgusting words ,she traced her steps back with support of wall .

"Dr Khaled should leave her .She is not worth ....". Saying these words ,Urwa walked towards the door and peeking through the glass seeing no sign of Emaan ,she opened the door and seeing her walking away ,a vile smirk stretched on her lips .She had seen her walking towards the office and had planned on spot to enact the scene of shaming .

As other female staff walked up to her side and seeing the view,their faces mirroring smile like that of Urwa while Urwa glanced back showing thumbs up to Myza as she said ,

"That's what she deserves for making our poor Myza cry !".

Lost and forlorn ,Emaan just felt like vanishing or perishing away  as people gazes looked more piercing and her steps felt more painful and heart more burdening.When she stopped abruptly seeing a female staff stand before he way, who asked seeing her state ,

"Dr Emaan ? Why are you crying ?".

"Nothing !". Emaan managed to reply when she jerk her head up hearing the next word,

"Was this the way you seduced Dr Khaled ?". And a chuckle erupted from behind making Emaan clench her fist before she moved to walk past them .

"Well it's still a mystery to me ,that how come she survived and Dr Isa died ? When we know how much those gangs abhor foreigner !You know sometimes I think she is involved in his death ! She is the cause he died ! She must have barter his life for her own".

"Yeah we can't trust her ,she is even not among us ! She could betray us anytime!".

"Yeah exactly if she can marry one doctor secretly and then why not get killed !".

"This is what we call one dirty fish stinks the entire sea !".

Even walking ahead ,Emaan could clearly hear those words ,and she not able to bear it anymore ,she retracted her steps  back to them asserted before asserting ,

"I didnt killed Dr Isa .I ...am not lying !....". Emaan felt frustrated that even at such moment she couldnt even voice out the words properly in her defence .She hated how despite feeling so much anger and frustration ,all she could do was cry and weep .

"Why should we believe you ? Weren't you the one who said your husband is Shams and everything !". Hala sassed .

The look of betrayal collaged on her face as Emaan blinked with tearful eyes at Hala but before she could say anything ,she was intervened ,

"If you are so interested in asking questions then why are bugging her ,why don't you ask Dr Khaled like he had asked everyone to do so or do you want me ask these questions for you all while stating your names ?". Hafsa glared at everyone in disdain leading everyone eventually begin to disperse away while Emaan looked at her ,like a lost kid who had finally found a shelter . She adorned a grateful smile before trying to give words to her gratefulness,

"Hafsa...". But Hafsa didn't let her as she interrupted ,

"This makes us even !". Confusion replaced gratefulness but Hafsa hardly cared as she continued ,

"You saved us back then by opting to stay back while letting Daniyal ,me and Halima leave.Today I helped you .So you have nothing on me .And our friendship or whatever it was ends here...".

Emaan's eyes dilated in shock and lips parted as Hafsa stared back at her with only hatred and anger .

"... cause to me you are as worse as  those people who were bullying you right now or maybe worse. Cause atleast they say on the face but you plot of hurting, rather you enjoy making fun of people' feeling .You must have felt glorious ,right ? While we pine for that man ,you are already married to .Like what we couldn't do in years you managed to do in months .Must have been exciting, right ? Exciting enough to not care about your friend's feeling ?". Hafsa chuckled bitterly despite tears slipping out of her eyes .

"Why do I even say this word ? Was I ever your friend huh ,Emaan ? No, dont answer ! Your actions spoke louder than words .I cared for you ,I thought you as a friend but you kept lying, playing with my feelings .The problem is this only I only thought of you as a friend, cause if you had, you would have told me about everything ,but you didn't ,you didn't cared what I would feel .I was just a fool to you ,right ?".

Teary eyed ,Emaan tried to intervene but Hafsa didn't let her ,

"Please Emaan don't drop your worth more than it already has in my eyes with your lame excuses .They would only make me detest you more .And since we work and live here ,we can't avoid seeing each other but please don't ever again try to talk to me ! Let's treat each other as strangers !".

Hafsa giving one last look to already devastated looking Emaan, she rushed away wiping off her tears while Emaan stood speechless and stunned .Suddenly the wall ,the corridors which once seemed like a safe haven to her were now suffocating and strangling her . As if mocking ,she never belonged there .

Everything had come to a circle ,she had left her homeland hoping to build new journey where she won't be shackled in thorns of hatred and disgusts ,where atleast her existence if not a miracle then it also won't be treated even as a nuisance .

But everything had collapsed down to the same fate ,same destiny of hatred .

She couldn't understand what did she do to deserve such hatred ?

Why was it so easy for everyone to thrash down her character ?

No matter where she went or go ,why everybody hated her so much ?

Why hatred came so easy for her than love ?

Is it wrong to wish a life where you are not hated ,where you not disgusted ,where your existence matter ,where you are loved ...was it too much to ask for or was she so worthless she didn't deserve to make any wish ...

So worthless to be not even treated as a human being ! Just a trash can where you could dump any filth but it wasn't allowed to feel anything .

But what did she do to be acclaimed so worthless ?

Why this was always the end ? Why she was always hated in the end when she tried to love and care the most ?

She tried to understand everyone but no one ever did ,no one ever tried to .

She tried to bandaged everyone's wound but why her wound so invisible to everyone ?

She tried to do good to everyone but they only threw stones and filth at her .

Why did everyone became heartless when it came to her ...

Why who loved her left her behind while who stayed behind hated her ....

She treated other's heart as most valuable but why her heart was the most cheapest in the everyone's eyes .

They all passed their judgement ,the judgement to hate her ....

Despite being broken ,shattered and ignored ,she still tried her best ,yet in the end she was hurting everyone ,she was heartless ,she was worth hating ,in the end she was a villainess of everyone's lives .

But why ?

___________________________________

Closing the car door ,Khaled walked towards the main building of Al Shams with a small smile playing merrily on his lips .He just couldn't wait to see Emaan or finally see her smile genuinely .With a hope and excited heart ,Khaled increased his pace and as he pushed open the door to entrance ,a slick sting in his palm made him reminded of the fresh cut he had forgotten in his excitement.

Not wanting to worry or either wishing to be scolded ,or if present scenario were to taken and how sensitive Emaan had become ,she could also end up crying and Khaled couldn't afford it .With myriad thoughts yet all dominated by single person ,Khaled walked over to the pharmacy to get a bandaid when Hakim offering the packet of bandages ,took in Khaled's condition ,frowned ,

"Dr Khaled did you fell or something ?I mean you clothes ..."

At Hakim's word ,Khaled glanced at his attire only to groan internally .Despite his effort to whisk off the dust from his clothes,it seemed the dust still had sticked to him for good, much credits to his all black wear.

"You can say that !"..Khaled smiled scratching his eyebrow ,"Well thank you . Assalamualaikum !".

Realising he couldn't meet her in his present state ,Khaled decided to go back to dorm to have a shower before meeting Emaan but as he was retrancing his steps out of hospital ,when he heard Hamza's voice and as he turned around , a frown graced his face seeing Hamza and Sidra running up to him .

While a bit surprised, Khaled took in their dishevelled condition ,Hamza asked ,

"How come you are early ? Didn't you said you might not be back by night ?And why are you wrapped up in dust ?".

"Well I am too tired to explain! You tell me why you both are in such hurry ? Is everything alright ?". Khaled quirked a brow .

"Yeah ! Actually ...". Hamza tried to consolidate a reply when Sidra interrupted him ,

"No it's not Dr Khaled !".

"Why ? What happened ?" ,Khaled's instinct just didn't seem to signal any good vibes before he immediately added ,

"Is Emaan alright ?".

"No ...". Sidra gulped while the mere word was enough to infiltrate every neurons and cell of Khaled with anxiety and nervousness and he without wasting time on any interrogation ,he rushed towards the room when Hamza stopped him ,

"Wait Khaled !".

"What should I wait for ?". Khaled hissed .

"Its no use going to the room ! She is not there !"..Sidra replied ,her body sweating more than necessary .

"What do you mean by she is not in her room ? Then where is she ?". Seeing Hamza and Sidra hesitant ,Khaled rasped out ,

"Would you mind telling me before my patience run out ?".

"We can't find Dr Emaan !". Hamza spurted out .

"I had gone to check on Emaan but she wasn't in the room .We have been searching for her since half an hour but we can't find her and no one seemed to have seen her also !". Sidra's voice garnished profusely with anxiousness and panic .

"Why didnt you call me before ?". Khaled growled clenching his fist .

"I thought we would find....". Hamza couldn't even get to complete as Khaled had already rushed ahead .

Scanning his eyes over the room and finding no sign of Emaan, Khaled zoomed out to pace towards another room of the building .They had been searching non stop for Emaan ,but she had vanished without a trace ,even Amtu or children wasn't aware of or had met her and this only intensified and aggravated Khaled's wrecked up nerve ,when Hamza noticing his unhinged state ,forcefully stopped him by holding by his arm while urging ,

"Khaled relax ! We will find Dr Emaan .But you need to calm down first! It's not like you to act like this ?".

"Its not like me to react like this! Then how am I suppose to react ?".,Khaled glared back," Calm ? Like always ? But why am I expected to react the same way when I don't feel like it ?Do you realise Hamza what I had felt for those hours thinking I might never see her again ? That I might have lost her ? You don't, right? You don't !". Khaled yanked away his arm out of Hamza's hand,

"Then how can you expect me to remain calm when I again can't find her again ?When I have seen and aware of her devastated condition ,when I know how much she is suffering ,it makes me scared that she might end up doing things ..."

"Don't think like that .She is not weak Dr Khaled !". Sidra rasped ,her wavering pitch damaged the assurance she had wished to certify in both Khaled's and her own trembling heart .

"I know but the thought of losing her makes me..."Khaled looked away running his hand in his hair before he glanced back ,with a little control over his emotions and moistening eyes ,he stated ,

"If you really want me to calm down then help me find her and if can't then don't come in my way!".Khaled wheeled around rushing to jog way when he heard Sidra ,

"I am going to search the dorm !".

"I will look at the Mr Esber's house !". Hamza added quickly .

Khaled looked back and with a grateful nod he rushed ahead when Albert jog to his side asserting ,

"I will help in searching the entire hospital !".

Nodding in agreement ,Khaled and Albert divided at different directions with same aim .Khaled rushing through the rooms ,when the memory of past when he had found Emaan in the chemistry lab experiencing the panic attack after failing to save the child instantly stopped Khaled's pacing steps and he immediately retrancing his steps whisk around and sprinting though the corridor he rushed through the stairs skipping two at a time with his heart wishing ,praying and begging for her to be there ...

Once upon a time ,it was thought of losing her had made him realise the depth of his feeling for her.

And once he knew how he felt,he realised he could never have her .

But then miracle happened and she accepted him and they got married .

All his life he had been made used to people walking away from his life ,he couldn't make them stay no matter how much he wanted ,his existence was accurate to him and the people surrounding.And eventually he had learnt the art immaculately yet with Emaan ,many things changed, especially the art that he was so proud of ,seemed a knowledge he no longer wanted to practice. He prayed a forever with her yet afraid to lose in this world.Even the mere thought wrecked down his heart but the recent event had only amplified his fear. He had always been afraid of losing her but now ,he was way more scared than he ever was ...

Afraid that even if he shout the loudest ,she would never listen ,even he waited his entire life she would never return ,even if he runs the fastest he would never be able to catch her..she would be gone and this scared him...

Slightly out of breath ,Khaled with hopeful heart, opening the door hastily walked inside only to meet with a silence that smashed down his every hope in no seconds .Running his fingers through his hair in frustration ,Khaled with a defeated groan moved to rush out when just at the door he stopped and turning around as he remembered their last meeting being under the slab ,he rushed towards it ,his heart beating faster and his breath denser ,and as he turned around the platform , Alhamdulillah along with a deep sigh of relief whispered out of his mouth as his eyes finally landed on the treasure it was seeking so desperately.

Without wasting any seconds ,Khaled slid to sit before her ,who had her face digged under her arms wrapped over knees .He moved his hands to approach but fearing he might scare her, he softly whispered,

"Emaan !". His voice as soft as the snowflakes melting into the brace of warm petals .

At his voice ,Emaan jerk her head up to reveal her blood shot eyes that after raining so much had held onto the pouring emotions but that warmth of love broke every dam as unhinge tears rain down her beautiful eyes elevating Khaled's anxiousness and apprehension .

Reducing the distance between them ,he cupped her face as he asked in urgency ,

"What happened Qalb ? Did you had a nightmare ?".

Emaan stared at him as Khaled searched for answer in her eyes with his hands kept wiping away the tears before she looking down held onto his shirt and reclining her head over his chest burst out crying .

Emaan just felt scared of voicing out what she had heard ,how could she tell him what pained her ,what destructed her sanctity ,when her heart trembled with a ghastly thought what if Khaled also thought the same ,what if in some corner he also held the same opinion ?.What she will do ,where she will go ,these all thoughts just seemed to tear down her heart in pieces making it onerous to breath and much difficult to cease the desire of not wanting to exist .

When she felt her existence being wrapped around by his firm arms as he gently rubbing her back whispered ,

"Its gone now Qalb! I am here ! You are not alone .I am here with you ! Always !".

At his words ,Emaan felt her heart churn as she grasped his shirt more into her fists before she mumbled in between her hiccups ,

"I..can't...I don't !".Before she finally gazed up ,baring her trembling soul in her orbs she finally stated ,

"I don't want to stay here ! I don't... Please take me away from here ! Please Khaled..". Emaan feeling the rising emotion intensify she blink down as the tears crumble down more as she whisper begged ,

"Please take me away !". Before bursting out crying more .

___________________________________

Bismillah

I know it was long but I had already warned you but I also hope the chapter didn't depress you any such even though it was a bit.. despite that this chapter is special to my heart maybe cause I wrote it after a long gap or whatever...Hope you had a good time 🙃

And shout out to all the readers who waited so preciously ,here ice cream for you all 🍧🍨🍦....until next time in sha Allah .

Before you leave ,please do recite ,

Do remember me and entire ummah in your previous duas.

Faqat abd e Rahman
Sadaf

Assalamualaikum warahmatulalhi wabarakatuhu 🌼🌿