I'm sitting on my bed trying to process what just happened. Soap says we can move past this but I genuinely don't think we can until he and Ghost talk.
12:59 AM
Shit, it's getting late. I should get some sleep.
But right as I'm about to turn over for the night there's a knock on my door.
It's most likely Simon considering I said I'd be back but never returned.
I opened my door and just as I suspected, it's Ghost.
"How'd it go?" he asks with anticipation that he's trying his best to conceal.
"Fine..."
Fine? I'm such an idiot.
"Fine?" Ghost asks incredulously, pushing past me and entering my quarters. "Tell me."
Jackass.
"Soap told me how he truly felt about me," I reveal hesitantly.
Simon has his mask off so the look on his face shows he's annoyed by my vagueness.
I roll my eyes. "He told me he loves me and about the conversation he had with you before you came to get me at the airport."
Ghost visibly and audibly gulps.
Does he think I'm upset? Because I'm not.
"And what did you say?" He crosses his arms and arches a brow.
"Does that matter?" I huff, only because I don't want to tell him about, you know, the kiss.
"Don't play coy, sweetheart." Simon steps closer to me. "Tell me what you said..." he demands but then realizes his aggression and tries to take a softer approach. "Please." He gently grabs my hand.
I can't help but grin at his subtle attempts to be better for the sake of our relationship.
So fine. I'll gift him with honesty.
"I told him how I felt about him: that he's a great friend and comrade. I told him that I love him as a person. I told him all the ways he's great..."
Ghost doesn't like that. A frown is tugging at his lips.
"All that to say, I made it clear that I'm in love with you and he understood that," I insist.
Ghost nods, his mood less tense now.
"And I told him the same thing I told you: that you two need to talk."
Simon scoffs and shakes his head.
"Did anything else happen?" he asks.
Nice deflection, jerk.
But shit...do I tell him? I should. If we're official now then I should—
Wait. I don't have a clear answer to that.
"What are we?"
"What are you talking about?" He drops his arms.
"Am I... y-your uh..." I tense, pausing for a few moments.
"Spit it out," Simon barks.
"Am I your girlfriend?" I "spit it out".
I avert my gaze to my wiggling feet as I grow nervous waiting for his response.
"Because you never asked me or-"
Next thing I know his lips are on mine, cutting the words off.
"Of course you are," he says softly, and lovingly, which was not something I expected.
Shit. Now I have to tell him...
"Please don't freak out," I warn, scrunching my face from nervousness.
Ghost takes a few steps back, scrunches his own face, and crosses his arms as he waits for me to continue.
"Soap kissed me."
Simon "Ghost" Riley's Point of View (POV)
Motherfucker.
Again? He kissed her again?
I stormed out of Breanna's room despite her attempts to get me to stay and calm down. Now I'm standing outside Johnny's room, banging on his door.
"What the hell?" I hear Johnny's muffled voice from inside his room indicating that I woke him up.
Well too fucking bad.
When he opens his door he's shocked to find me standing there. "G-Ghost?"
"We need to talk," I say impatiently and he gets the point.
"Alright." He walks back into his room and waits for me to follow.
I enter his quarters, a place I've visited hundreds of times, and inspect to see any signs that the kiss was maybe more than just a kiss.
I find nothing.
It's not Breanna I don't trust. It's him.
"What is it, L.T.?" Soap crosses his arms defensively.
"Cheeky, bastard. You know what this is about." I step up to him, so close our chests are nearly touching.
Soap sighs and takes a few steps back.
"Enlighten me," he huffs.
God, he's lucky I don't kill him where he stands.
"Again," I hiss.
"What?" Soap furrows his brows.
"You kissed her. Again," I growl as the accusation pours from my mouth.
Soap tenses and his eyes widen, confirming what I already know to be true. He can't deny it now.
"Look, I'm sorry, L.T.," he says shamefully. "I know I shouldn't have done that-"
As he's speaking, a traitorous thought enters my mind.
I cut him off.
"She let you?"
"No. Shut that shit down, man. This is not her fault," Soap growls, getting riled up in Breanna's defense. "Direct your misguided anger back at me where it belongs."
Johnny pisses me off.
He shows the emotional maturity that I so desperately want; and that I so desperately need.
He's always putting her first...
Shit.
"Alright," I sigh, conceding. "You're right."
"Ghost, I'm fucking sorry, alright? I know you're in love with her just as much as she's in love with you. I don't know what I'm doing..." he says defeated, shaking his head.
"Can you let those feelings go?" I ask.
I need to know.
"I will try."
He'll try? That's not good enough.
"What do you mean you'll try?" I'm growing impatient.
"I mean I'll try. You have no idea how hard it is to see the woman you love with someone else!" Soap takes a deep breath. "But I want her to be happy so I. Will. Try," he enunciates like I'm some kind of idiot.
I'm beyond words so I just stand there bewildered.
"Fine. If you'll try to let those feelings go, if you'll try for her, then I can accept that," I say reluctantly.
"For you, too." He smiles sadly. "I haven't been a very good friend have I, L.T.?"
"I haven't either." If I'm being honest.
We stand there silently—two men who struggle to be vulnerable with one another despite years of friendship.
But the kid is so damn important to me. So I'm going to swallow my pride and also try, for him.
"Is there something else, Johnny?" I ask cautiously. "Something you need to tell me?"
Soap's fingers bite into the palm of his hands and I can see he's upset. He contemplates for a moment, his thoughts dancing behind his eyes, and then he finally breaks the silence.
"Think I'll ever be as good as you, L.T.?" Soap's voice is laced with insecurity, and his sad smile is hard to look at.
The kid's already amazing. How can he be so insecure?
"You'll be better than me, Johnny." I place my hand gently on his shoulder. "I'm sure of it."
Soap just starts...crying.
What the hell? What am I supposed to do?
I feel an uncomfortable panic grow in me.
Fucking hell, I'm not good at this kind of stuff...
"Johnny, listen. You're a great soldier. The Task Force would not be what it is without you," I say earnestly.
I'm shaking. What the hell am I so nervous about?
Let yourself be vulnerable, Simon. Johnny doesn't want to hurt you.
Johnny. Doesn't. Want. To. Hurt. You.
If anything he's the one who's hurting.
His words from yesterday replay in my mind: "How long have we known each other, Ghost? Years! We've been on countless missions together, always having each other's backs, and yet I've never seen your face; the real you."
Fuck.
I pull my hand away from Johnny and timidly reach for my mask.
Soap looks up at me with confusion, but when I finally remove my mask, his face is riddled with pure shock and his jaw hits the floor.
He stands there stunned.
"I would not be the same without you, Johnny. I trust you," I say breathlessly, trying to steel my nerves but failing.
That's all I have left to say and I hope it registers with him.
Soap shakes his head a little and snaps back to reality.
"Hah," Soap chuckles, wipes his tears, and composes himself.
Hah?
"I've always known that, Ghost...I trust you, too." He holds his hand out to me and I grip it, but something inside me tells me to do more, so I pull him into a hug.
The hug is brief but I know it's meaningful. For both of us.
"Now, promise me your sneaky ass is done taking shots at my girl," I huff.
"But she's just so damn hot, L.T.!" He teases.
Hah...little bastard. He's not wrong, though.
"Watch it, Johnny." We burst out laughing in a way I haven't laughed in a long time.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow, and always will we be brothers in arms.