Hyunjin's pov
"I'm so sorry."
My face furrowed slightly in confusion. What did he need to apologize for?
"Hm? For what, Lix?" I responded, looking down to meet his gaze.
He separated himself from me and I felt empty again. He sat on his knees directly in front of me, our legs touching. He looked down and sniffled his last tear, fidgeting with his fingertips.
"I just.. I feel horrible, Hyunjin."
I wasn't following, only tilting my head softly.
"I've been avoiding you and you just wanted to talk things out.." he began
I immediately began getting swallowed by guilt. He had no reason to believe that this was his fault. Is this what he's been thinking ever since?
"Lix.."
".. and I was too immature to face you and I can only imagine how hurt you were and.."
"Felix."
"..I feel like an idiot because I really do want to communicate but I don't want to face the potential truth of you hating me after all this time-"
"Felix!" I exclaim while grabbing his face, squishing it up a little bit.
"Yes..?" He said in a mushed voice due to his squished up lips.
"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one that should be apologizing." I protested.
"But you already did. That day, you were explaining yourself and I refused to listen-"
"Felix. You did what any other person would and should do in that situation. As a matter of fact, most people would hate me. But your heart is so big and full of love that you don't hate the sight of me right now. You are willing to talk to me rather than slap me. That, alone, is enough to tell that you are not the wrong one in this situation."
He sniffled and looked down as he listened.
"I'm sorry, Felix."
He looked back up into my eyes. The entire universe was in his eyes. They were the most beautiful sight.
"I am so.. so sorry." I looked down and lowered my hands from his face, sitting crisscross in front of him.
"I was the one who took advantage of your astounding love without realizing what I really had. I allowed myself to be blinded by the past and break all of your trust. And I hate myself for it." His gaze softened at my words.
"Hyunjin.."
"You are the best person in the entire world, Felix." I looked back up at him and he showed a small smile.
"You are funny, kind, loving, and so beautiful. I knew all of those things when I was with you, but for some reason, I got distracted. I did love you, truly. I do love you. And I think I always will. Because when you make a mistake like I did, it stays with you. I don't think I'll ever meet someone else like you, Felix, and it kills me to know that I could've kept someone like you. I am so, so sorry, Lix. I've hurt you in ways unimaginable and I will never forgive myself for it. And if you want to never speak again after we walk out of this room, I won't stop you. But I need you to know that I am truly, and utterly, ashamed and sorry for everything I've done." I rambled for a little longer than I expected, letting out an exhale when I finished.
Guess I had a lot to get off my chest.
There was silence for a moment and I grew worried that I shouldn't have said anything at all, drooping my gaze back down.
"Jisung told me he'd been talking to you sometimes in the hallway." He suddenly said while looking downward.
I picked up my head with an intrigued look. Jisung told him?
"... And at first, I was upset that he was even talking to you or paying you any attention. I was so angry at everything that I thought I hated you." My eyes saddened, going back and forth between him and the ground.
"That was until I realized I didn't hate you. I didn't even hate myself, really. I hated how everything happened. How we just walked away after talking it out, how we only lasted two months before having a huge split over something that could've been solved. But most of all, how we both lost the person we sought the most comfort and understanding in."
I could just tell he was getting teary eyed.
"And so, Jisung would tell me nearly everyday, 'talk to him', 'work it out', 'think wisely'." He stated with an exhale while looking up and around, holding back the water in his glossy eyes.
"I knew he was right. Your best friend always knows what's best for you. But I ended up pushing myself away from the situation because I was afraid of-"
He stopped mid sentence and took a deep breath with his eyes closed. As his eyes opened, a tear fell from both eyes. My heart sank.
"I was afraid of facing those feelings; having to rethink about that night and that day. I hated looking weak in front of you, so I avoided just that, but it only made us deal with the pain longer." He cleared his throat to stabilize his voice.
"So I am sorry, Hyunjin. For dragging this on for way longer than it should have. I thought I was healing, but I was only getting worse and I knew it. I regret every second of these past few weeks for not talking to you. I'm sorry." His tears were slowly falling again.
I said nothing but took him into my embrace again. His head was buried in my chest and he held my arm. We sat in silence with a few of his sniffles occasionally being let out.
"I cut all ties with her."
I could sense his attention being grabbed. That was enough for me to continue.
"When I realized all the damage she'd done to me, to us, i couldn't stand the thought of her. I told her to leave my life entirely." I continued.
"You didn't have to do that, Hyun-"
"But I did. I can't be involved with someone who, not only, hurt me a long time ago, but also hurt my relationship drastically. She's dead to me." I explained.
I could tell he was satisfied with that fact. It went quiet again.
"Hyunjin..?"
"Hm?"
"Can we.. start over?"
I pulled him slightly away to look him in the eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean.. i want to maintain a bond with you. I want to talk and laugh with you."
"Do you think... maybe.. we could try again when we're ready..?" I knew it was a risky question but I needed to know.
He grinned softly.
"Yeah.. i would like that." He smiled.
"What if one of us doesn't want to?"
"Then that's just the way it goes. We can't tie each other down."
I nodded and he smiled.
I nearly forgot that we were in a time frame until the loud bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.
"We better go. Mr. Yung doesn't know I eat in here" Felix laughed while starting to pick up his belongings.
"Why do you eat in here?" I ask while we walk towards the door.
"I'm not a fan of loud, enclosed spaces. So I seek refuge here." He giggled.
Just then, the door opened to reveal the music teacher. We all froze in our spots.
"Mr Yung..! We uh- i just-"
"Mr. Lee.. you shouldn't be in here, unattended." He gave us a stern look.
"Yes sir, i apologize." Felix said and bowed to him as i quickly mimicked him.
"Ah what the heck. I trust you two. Just don't tell anyone I'm letting you do this." He said with a smile and patted Felix on the shoulder while walking to his office cubicle.
We looked at each other, processing what just happened and bursted into fits of giggles.
—
"So.. who's Wooyoung?"
Felix immediately started giggling as we walked down the hallways and he held his notebooks.
"Jealous?" He teased.
"..No." i hesitantly said and looked away.
"He's a friend of mine from first class." He smiled.
"Oh.. alright." I said, still skeptical of the guy.
"He's got a girlfriend, Hyun." He giggled.
"O-oh! Th-that's cool!" I stammered.
He laughed and shook his head and we continued waking till we got to his class.
"Well this is my class number." He said as we faced each other, rocking back and forth on his feet.
"O-oh alright. Well.. I'll see you later?"
He nodded and smiled back before he walked into the classroom. I couldn't help but walk away with a large grin plastered on my face. I'd never felt so much relief before. He hasn't forgiven me yet, but it's a start. It's my goal to show him that I can try again. That we can try again. I can't imagine myself with anyone else.
We belong together. And I'll prove that to everyone.
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HI GUYS
Look at me being active and productive🤭
I'm so excited for where this story is going, so I think that's my motivation rn lowkey.
There's like MAYBE 2 more parts to this story, so this journey is in fact coming to a close soon.
I truly adore this story. It isn't the best but I've loved the process of writing it.
Thank you all who have been reading, it means a lot for my first story🩵
I'm already working on a new story too🤭
Okay enough rambling. Stay tuned for the upcoming finale and have an amazing day!!
Title pic
THESE HYUNLIX PICS💔