Katniss POV- (That night)
"I love you. Man, I love you so fucking much, Katniss." Peeta says, attacking me with his lips.
I pull him closer to me and his arms snake around my waist and he pulls me on top of his thighs, "I love you too." I say, our lips crashing and breaking again and again.
We haven't kissed this passionately since, well you know when.
We continue kissing until I feel her kicking like crazy.
I try to ignore it but even Peeta can't. He can feel it against his stomach too.
"Ugh." I say, hesitantly pulling away.
He breaks away completely and chuckles, "What?"
"The baby is going crazy and you're holding me really tight." I say, feeling the baby's kicks with my hand.
I crawl out of his lap.
"I'm sorry. Force of habit." He says.
I laugh and shake my head at him.
"That was a really good moment you ruined there. You see that?" Peeta says, talking to my belly.
I laugh a little and he presses his lips to the little bump of baby.
It feels so weird having him kiss me there but so normal at the same time.
"I love you, baby girl." Peeta calls.
She kicks a few times in response.
I chuckle.
I just can't believe any of this.
It's so imperfectly perfect that I want to cry and eat ice cream, but not because I'm sad. Just because it seems too good to be true.
"You're gonna be the greatest daddy ever, Peeta." I say, kissing the tip of his nose.
"And you're going to be the best mommy ever. Isn't she, baby girl?" He says, talking to my stomach again.
I chuckle, "I am so happy that Bristol is back. If we could just get Finnick back here, everything would be perfect." I tell him.
"Maybe one day they will. I think it would be good for her to have a friend besides Carter around."
"At least Carter is getting someone to play with, even though they wouldn't be able to really play for a while.
"Yeah, she's gonna be about 11 months old by the time our baby comes." Peeta says.
I let out a deep sigh.
"I hope our baby doesn't grow up that fast."
Peeta frowns, "I hope not either." He sighs.
We sit there for a long time before I speak up.
"I still can't think of any names." I say.
"Well, that's alright. We still have about four months to find one. I'm sure we will find it soon too. I'm open to suggestions, so shoot a few at me?"
I sigh trying to think of the few I could.
"Um...I like Ivy and Iris." I say.
"Those are nice names. Are you wanting to do plant names?"
"For girls, please. If you don't mind." I nod.
He chuckles, "Okay. I'm fine with whatever."
I sigh, "Did you think of some?" I ask him.
"Not really. What goes with Mellark?" He laughs.
"Katniss." I tease.
He chuckles, "Yes. Besides Katniss. What girl name goes with Mellark? You gotta remember we don't have many girls in my family."
I sigh, "I don't like how the names I picked sound with Mellark at the end. Ivy Mellark. Iris Mellark." I say, making a face.
"What about Elizabeth?" He asks.
I shake my head.
"That's Carter's middle name."
I groan.
"She probably won't have a middle name like us." I laugh.
He chuckles, "We can barley find a first name." Peeta shakes his head.
I sigh, "Bristol." I joke.
"We need to do some thinking." Peeta laughs, hugging me tight.
I chuckle and bob my head.
"What about...Ugh I don't know." He starts.
I laugh, "Ugh, this is harder than I thought."
He nods his head and shrugs, I look up at him and he grins.
"I love you." I say, kissing his bare chest.
"And I love you." He says, kissing my shoulder.
I smile and lean forward, my head on Peeta's shoulder, sitting across from him.
"Not to sound creepy but why don't you ever sleep in your underwear anymore?"
I sit up and face him, "Because I'm getting fat and when I didn't know, we didn't sleep together or we didn't feel it was right." I say.
"I feel bad about not kissing you or helping with your nightmares."
I sigh deeply, "Well, in all fairness I didn't help you but you can kiss me now." I tell him.
He smiles and does so, it's a soft, loving kiss that makes my fingers tingle.
"I am so happy we get to do this together."
"Do what together?" He asks me, confused as to what I am exactly talking about.
I bite my lip.
"Life." I let out.
He gives me a cute smile.
"I couldn't imagine spending it with anyone else."
I feel tears well up in my eyes and imagine where I would be if I didn't know Peeta and I don't like those thoughts at all.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" He asks.
I take a long, deep breath.
"I'm just trying to wonder where I would be at if I didn't have you here."
"You mean if we hadn't have met or hadn't fallen in love?" He frowns.
"I guess the first one followed by the second." I say, unsure of what that means.
He seems to understand though.
"You wanna know where I think you would be?"
I nod.
"I think you would be in college. Probably with a boyfriend..." Peeta begins.
I cock my head at him, "No-" I start but he cuts me off.
"Probably with a boyfriend that you would love just as much as me and he'd be so lucky to have you." Peeta tells me.
I hide a smile.
"I think you'd still be upset without Prim and your dad here but I think you would've found a way to cope like you did here. I think you'd be the smartest girl at your college and the prettiest too. I don't know if you would've met Bristol or not, but I'm sure that you would've made a lot of friends."
"Peeta, the friends I have have been my friends forever so I doubt it."
"You made Bristol. Why couldn't you make more?" He starts.
I roll my eyes but let out a laugh.
"I think you would've had a lot of friends. Then I think you'd finish up college and get a job and get married. I don't know if you'd start a family though, I mean you're kind if being forced into this and I'm sorry about that." He says.
I can tell he's upsetting himself and that's ultimately upsetting me.
"Don't be sorry. I'm not being forced into anything, I wanted this. It's not like you forced me to have sex with you, don't be sorry." I say, feeling bad he thinks that's how I feel.
"But I am."
I look into his blue eyes and see his guilt, even though there's a glimpse of happiness still there.
"Do you want this baby?" I ask him softly.
He nods once.
"Then why are you sorry?" I ask, hoping he'd understand.
"Because you don't want it."
I shake my head at him.
"Peeta, I gave you hell about it and changed my mind a lot more than I should've. I'm sorry that I put that in your mind but you don't understand how truly excited and happy I am to be having a baby." I tell him truthfully and I think he doesn't understand what I'm really feeling.
I think he thinks I'm acting for his sake but I'm not acting at all.
"I am the one who said no protection so I was basically asking for you to get me pregnant." I tell him honestly.
I don't remember much about that night other than I wanted Peeta and I wanted to take the risk of getting pregnant, knowing that's what I wanted inside.
"But still."
I shake my head.
"But nothing, Peeta. It happened and I don't regret it and neither should you. I'm finally giving you something that you've wanted forever and that makes me really happy. And they always say 'If it scares you it's probably a good thing to try.' And I did and I don't regret it." I say.
He takes a long, deep breath and looks me in the eyes, possibly to tell if I am lying or not.
"I promise you this is the second best thing that has ever happened to me."
He allows himself to smile a little and quickly pushes it away.
"It's like I am falling in love all over again and I love it, Peeta." I say, sounding pretty cheesy but it's true.
I feel exactly how I felt, if not better than when I fell in love with Peeta.
It's like I am falling more, deeply in love with him too and that's something amazing.
"Me too." He says softly.
I set my hand on his back and rub his warm skin.
"I don't want you to ever think I didn't want this. Forget every time I told you so because I was lying to myself too. Even when I'm cussing you out while I'm having her and saying how I wish you didn't get me pregnant, I want you to ignore it." I tell him, remembering Annie and Bristol's labor language, knowing I'm going to be 1000x worse.
He chuckles a little, "Ugh, hormones."
I laugh too, "Tell me about it." I say.
"I promise you that I've never doubted my love for you and I've never regretted what happened that night and I never will."
He nods his head.
"This baby is probably what saved our marriage, Peeta."
"I know."
I sigh, "And as much as I love you, don't know how long I could've gone on with that and I couldn't leave you but I wouldn't know what to do."
"I was upset way longer than I should've been." He admits.
"But it's because there were four of them, not just one."
"Prim cared about us more than all four of my family members did." Peeta mumbles.
I inhale deeply, he's probably right.
"I don't know." I say.
He nods, "I do."
I frown.
He knows damn well his family didn't care about him as much as they should've.
"If you want, we can start working on the new bakery stuff soon." I say, knowing he's itching to start.
"We can't until Spring, probably not until after the baby is born. I want to spend a while home with you before."
"Okay, well do you want to start in March?"
"Or April, I don't know. I wish I could wait a while longer. I don't wanna miss anything."
My heart warms at this.
He'd put another dream on hold to watch this one grow up and that makes me really happy.
"You can do whatever you feel is best, Peeta." I say, lacing our fingers together.
"I just want to do what's best for you two. I need to work but I need to be here too."
"Hire a few people to help. You don't need to do it alone. You don't have to do it alone anymore."
"I may but I don't know."
"I'll help you when I can, even though I'm a terrible baker."
He chuckles, "You're actually good, sometimes."
I scoff, "Keyword: Sometimes." I laugh.
He smiles, "When can we start buying stuff?"
I shrug, "Do you want to make a list?"
"Sure."
I nod and stand up and grab a piece of paper and a pen.
I have him sit in front of me while I write on his back.
"Remember that night we did this, right here and we were playing that game? Where you say a word and I say one and we write it down."
I nod, "I remember that. It was a night during Thanksgiving break or was it your birthday."
He shrugs, "I think it was my birthday, senior year."
I smile, "That was forever ago." I frown.
He sighs, "We are going on our third year as friends and dating? Right?"
I nod, "Yeah. This past August was three years."
"I'm sorry we didn't do anything special for that or for our dating anniversary."
"It's fine. I got to be with you those days and it was okay."
"Maybe we can do something special soon."
I shake my head, "It's almost Christmas and Thanksgiving and stuff so you don't have to do anything." I say truthfully, knowing he's going to make this holiday season fun, just like last.
"You know I will." Peeta chuckles.
I laugh, "I know."
"Okay, so we are gonna need clothes for her." He says.
I giggle, "I wanted her to be a diaper baby though."
He chuckles, "Okay, well sometimes she needs clothes."
"We need to decide what we are going to do about sleeping."
"For a while, I want her sleeping either with us or in our room, please."
He nods, "Okay, we will get a little bassinet for our bedroom."
I nod and write it down.
"Do you want her to have a nursery?"
"Yes for later, but we only have your studio, the guest bedroom and Prim's room." I say.
"I guess we could do like we did in the apartment and have my studio and the guest bedroom together. I don't mind."
I sigh, "Yeah, but what about Prim's room?"
"I don't know, it's whatever you want to do about it."
I think for a minute.
"We need the space but it feels wrong. I just wish my mom would've gotten rid of it all so I didn't have to deal with it."
"Well, we can wait a while until you figure it out."
I shrug, "I just don't want my kids living in that room, not because it was Prim's, just because it was hers." I say, not making any sense.
"I know what you mean. Just think about it and when you decide then that's what we will do."
"Okay, we will need diapers. We could start buying them when we go to the store, just to stock up." I say, changing the subject and writing stuff down.
"Blankets and bottles."
"This is gonna be weird to talk about but they asked me at the obstetrician if I was gonna breast feed her."
He stiffens up.
"Whatever you wanna do..." Peeta says.
"But I don't know."
"It's your boobs." He says.
I laugh and push him a little.
"It's your daughter."
"It's our daughter." Peeta corrects me.
"Yes, our daughter but I don't know what to do."
"Well, is one better for them?"
"Yes, breastfeeding and it makes me skinnier is what they said."
"Katniss." Peeta laughs at me.
I hide a grin, "Do you want me to fat or look good?"
He laughs, "I don't care what you look like. You don't think you will but you're gonna pop back almost to normal after you have her."
I roll my eyes, "Doubt it, she obviously isn't gonna weigh 20 pounds when she is born and if I don't quit gaining weight, it's gonna be worse."
"Katniss, you'll be fine. If not, I'll work out with you until you feel better."
I sigh, "Fine, so what are we gonna do?"