January 20 | 12:09 pm
"You good?" My dad asked coming up to me after a while of minimum contact with everyone. "Progressing" I shrugged as our eyes both made their way to Kela, who's just been staring off in space since the funeral ended.
"Is she gonna be okay?" I said and he looked at me. "There's no time frame on healing, this could affect her for the rest of her life" He said. "She's already not doing well with socialization but now she's not even talking" I said.
"Yeah, all I can do is get her to go to her therapy sessions more" He said. "She'll need it in a time like this" I said. "Keysi" He put his hand on my shoulder.
"She hasn't said much since you moved out. I'm sure seeing her brother like that is damaging but she's been this way for a while now" He said making me instantly feel bad, maybe she feels like we abandoned her.
"Do something for me though" He said and I looked at him. "Self evaluate" He said making me scrunch up my face. "How much longer are you gonna stay mad at Sahil when you don't even know what you're mad at?" He said.
"I'm not mad, just respecting his space" I said. "You are his space." He said and I turned, seeing Sahil staring at me as people around him chattered, his eyes were glued to me.
"Go talk to him, we lost 2 of ours in under a decade. Can't afford to not live to love anymore" He said walking away, alerting Kela that they were about to go. I glanced over at Sahil once more before deciding to walk over there, not for him though.
Once I made my presence known, everybody stopped talking and just looked at me with sappy faces. "Hey" I said to Lia as she held Kasen on her hip. "Hi" She flashed me a small smile, shuffling Kasen.
I went in my purse and pulled out three checks that I found while cleaning out Kadir's house. I shuffled through them to find the one that was for her. "It's from Kadir, money for Kasen" I handed the check of 50k to her. She looked down at the check before looking up at me. It was a awkward tension between us but I broke it by hugging her.
"Thank you" She said softly, wiping her face. I nodded as Zaara took her away since she was getting shaky again. I looked over at Rhyon, going back into my purse to grab another check and putting the other one back since it was money for Kela.
"He knew about the baby" I said handing her the check with a note that he wrote alongside it and she looked at it then up at me. "I'm good" She rubbed her arms. "You pregnant?" Drako said.
"By Kadir??????" Rax said making me mug them.
"He wouldn't allow it to go no other way Rhyon" I said and she busted out in tears. My first reaction was to hug her, I owed her that. Just like Kadir, you never saw her sad or down, she was always up and ready.
"TT baby" I whispered in her ear while rubbing her stomach as her tears calmed down. She laughed, squeezing me back. "Always thought it was gonna be you first" She said and I rolled my eyes."I'm very careful unlike you" I said pulling away from the hug.
"Here" I said handing her the cheek and note. "This is too much" She said looking at the 5 zeros behind the 1. I saw Sahil staring at me out the corner of my eye as I was talking to Rhyon.
"Go talk to him Keysi" She said. "Kadir wouldn't allow it to go no other way." She said walking away, leaving a unavoidable path to him.
"Hey Sahil" I said and he just stared at me for a second, his face was a mix of a mug and a smile but his eyes haven't changed from when I first met him, they only ever showed one emotion through all his physical expressions. Love
"Let's go for a drive Nova" He said holding his hand out and I hesitated before grabbing it.
＊＊＊
12:43 pm
We sat in silence in a empty parking lot, like always but this silence was uncomfortable."I like this, it's different." I said lightly touching his black suit. "You can thank your brother for that because ion plan on putting this shit on again" He said making me chuckle.
"So..." I said tryna spark up a conversation. "How do you feel about Rhyon being pregnant?" I asked and he sighed. "Shi it is what it is" He shrugged. "Just hope her and Lia don't get into it" He said staring at the steering wheel.
I admired the side of his face and his unique features, hated how long his eyelashes was because I had little to no natural eyelashes.
"Heard you got a club"I said and he smirked. "Heard you famous now." He said making me playfully roll my eyes. "I be seeing you and ole boy videos." His smirked dropped into a serious face.
told yall he was stalking me
"Yall relationship look like it's succeeding" He said looking over at me. "It's always been strictly business, all that publicity shit is fake " I assured him. "Yea, I hear you" He nodded, looking out the window.
"How you holding up though?" He asked. "Doing the best I can right now." I said. "Kela's not doing too well though" I said. "I figured." He said looking at me. "Everybody's gonna deal with grief differently" He said and I nodded in agreement.
"How bout you?" I tilted my head at him as he stared off. "You think Kadir knew he was bout to die?" He asked out of nowhere. "What makes you say that?" I said. "The checks, he wouldn't just write away money for no reason" He said making me think back to when he was supposed to tell me something the night he died but I was too busy worried about my drama with Sahil and Rhyon.
Sahil stared off with a angry expression."Nun of this shit makes sense" He shook his head. I was debating on telling him about Tremani but I didn't want him to do anything stupid.
It seemed like while everybody else was grieving, he was figuring out the next move. I seen him eyeing unfamiliar faces and watching surroundings more closely. This new information was clearly sending him over the edge, it was no telling what he was gonna do.
＊＊＊
2:54 pm
"You wanna come in?" I asked as we pulled up to the front of the apartment. He looked at me weird before turning off the car. "Yea I ain't seen Ocean in a while." He said opening his door, practically jumping out the car.
I walked up and unlocked the door as he walked in behind me, looking around as Ocean ran his feet, hoping on his legs. Sahil picked him up and I smiled at the sight while locking the door.
"You was right, that food making this nigga buff. Nigga got more muscles than me" He said flipping him on his back, looking at his stiff stomach and sturdy legs. "I been mixing some bacon in it sometimes" I said and he looked up at me. "What? I listen to you"
He laughed while following me in the kitchen, still holding Ocean. "Did you eat this morning?" I said, going into the fridge. "Yea" He said making me turn my head because I could never get him to eat in the morning. "What? I be listening to you Keysi" He said and I smiled.
We stared at each other for a while and he licked his lips, snapping me back into reality. "Umm" I said tryna find something to do, walking through the house.
"You want some more clothes since Ocean been all over your suit now?" I asked going in the bedroom. "Yea" He said placing Ocean on the floor and Ocean walked out. disciplined enough to know he wasn't supposed to be in the room because it's carpet.
"Here" I said handing him a white tee and some black sweatpants. I stood there not really knowing what to do. "Imma change too" I said going on the other side of the room to my clothes.
I picked out a simple skims set as I heard him shuffling, meaning he was changing his clothes. I pulled my dress off my shoulders, quickly feeling a hand on my waist.
I turned around seeing Sahil with his button down shirt open. I looked up at him, visually questioning his actions. He pulled my face up, kissing me and I immediately kissed back, missing his lips as we discreetly moved to the bed.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he caressed my lower body before falling back onto the bed.
I moaned feeling him licking and sucking on my neck as he flipped our bodies. Once he laid me on the bed he stood up to take his shirt off causing me to look up at the art that covered his body, noticing he had new tattoos.
His lips found their way back to mines once again as he forcefully pulled my panties down not even waiting for me to lift up. "Turn around" He pulled my legs, carefully but aggressively flipping me over and putting his arm down my back, making me arch with my knees on the edge of the bed.
I put my head in the sheets, waiting for him until I felt his tip at my entrance and moaned softly at the familiar sensation entering me, making my arch slightly fold since I hadn't had him in a while and Maleek was not near as big as him.
"Shit" I heard as he thrusted inside of me in the mix of my moans and the constant smacks our bodies created between one another. His hand wrapped around the back of my neck as he picked up the pace, not even waiting for my assurance like normally.
He kept going, smacking my ass repeatedly as it bounced off of him. He pulled me up, cupping my breast and holding one of my arms behind my back while kissing my back, traveling up to my neck.
I moaned loudly, "Sahillll!" I cried out feeling my eyes watering the amount of pleasure was too much. This was a different feeling from him, he normally never got too aggressive with me but he showed no mercy this time.
＊＊＊
10:20 pm
I woke up, not feeling Sahil in the bed at all making me frown a little. I got up, stretching and immediately saw a note on the nightstand.
"We went about it all wrong, thinking that we could fix each other when in reality, we were just apart of the journey of developing ourselves. And I needed closure to see if our part of the journey was over, I still don't know because I didn't get any closure from having sex with you because that was never a necessity in our relationship. I still love you Keysi, i'm still inlove with you. No matter how much I try to group you in with the rest, you remain to have your own bubble in my mind. I don't know what's gonna happen to us but I know I wanna see you win and maybe in the long run, we'll fix our problems but the main focuses are us, individually because a tree can't stand tall with broken branches. I love you.
- Love, Sahil"
𝓚
𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙
"the start of nothin"
/ white ferrari