Song: Idfc - Blackbear
𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐚
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If you would have told me last month that I would be abandoned by my boyfriend who left out of nowhere and hasn't contacted me since.
I mean I probably would have believed you but it still hurts.
We were finally doing well, we actually had a stable relationship again and then poof, he just fucking disappears? 2 weeks it's been. 2 fucking weeks. And nothing. Not a single text or call.
Every night I worry about if he's even still alive, or if he's been murdered, kidnapped or anything like that.
His job is unpredictable, that's probably all I know about it.
I try not to overthink too much about everything, I'm sure this is something he goes through several times a year, so he probably knows what he's doing.
When I found that that apparently Lily left along with Enzo too? I almost threw myself out the window. She has no training that I know off so anything could happen to her. Lily means more to me than anyone, and her dying? I'd probably have to die too.
God I'm acting like a worried wife.
I say goodbye to the chef that Valerio apparently hired the day after he left, he's been here every day from 7 in the morning to 8 in the evening cooking three meals a day.
He can't answer me but he can hire a chef to make sure I'm still eating?
When the door closes I immediately flop onto the couch, relaxing with my chocolate covered strawberries, cup of hot chocolate and of course, the vampire diaries.
It's cold as hell outside, like seriously has to be some record. There's snow covering every inch of the city and most of the time I can't even leave the penthouse due to the extreme weathers.
The apartment is almost covered in windows, giving an absolute gorgeous view of the snow falling and the white city in front of me.
An hour later I've finished my snacks and my hot chocolate. As much as I love the vampire diaries, no series is as fun to watch without snacks. My phone chimes and I rush to check to see who it is, there hasn't been a single time I haven't panicked when I get a notification because every single part in me would do anything for it to be Valerio.
Not Valerio, just some stupid reminder to update my phone. I groan then decide to just call him again. I may be calling him like 20 times per day, every time they go to voicemail but i'm not going to give up.
The phone rings, I expect it to go to voicemail.
Declined
Im sorry what? He fucking declined it? are you fucking kidding me right now?!
I call him again
Declined
and again
Declined
again
Declined
I take a deep breathe holding myself back from throwing my phone on the ground. He must just be busy right? So busy that not a single second of the day he's had the chance to call me or text me or do anything to let me know hes still alive. Who the fuck knows if that's even him declining the calls? What if hes been kidnapped and his kidnapper is the one declining?
I bury my head in my hands, my elbows on the counter as I try to calm down. Not having him around has made my panic attacks way worse, he's been like my protective blanket during my panic attacks and i'd do anything for him to come back.
When my breathing speeds up I immediately sit myself down on the sofa taking as many deep breaths as I can while I look around the apartment, trying to focus on other things then the horrible feeling sawing through my body.
'distract yourself, amore.'
I spot an ink pen on the table so I reach for it and take the cap off. I pull up the sleeves on my sweater, and I draw. I don't manage to draw anything good, not that I drew anything better on Valerio but it was definitely easier to draw on someone else then on yourself.
A couple minutes later my breathing has calmed down, and I'm finally able to relax again. I ended up drawing the same thing I drew on Valerio that day. A messy flower and a couple stars, however mine are both on my arm.
I throw the pen away and lie down on the sofa, almost falling asleep already, its not too late but I've been sleeping away most of the days since Valerio left which means my sleep cycle is completely fucked.
Sleeping fails me because of the million thoughts racing through my mind so instead I go grab my phone and do some online shopping.
Maybe not some online shopping considering I may just have ordered 45k dollars worth of clothes but to be honest he deserves it for leaving me.
I spend another 30 minutes picking out some more jewelry, clothes, shoes, and hats that I like and adding them to my basket, then going on the look for some new curly hair products since i'm starting to run out. Some of my most used products are out of stock so I order some new ones I hope will be just as good.
Over an hour later I've spent over 75k which I feel like is a good stopping point. I get up from the sofa then drag myself up to bed. I rush to take a shower and get my skincare done so that I can fall asleep and wake up maybe feeling a little bit more refreshed? I don't even know anymore.
I change into some simple pink sleepwear and finally get into bed, cozying into the warm blankets.
And then I fall asleep.
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↣1 week later
"There have been several reports of bombings and gunfire spread around Italy these past couple of weeks. No one knows where they actually come from but there have been some suspicions of actual mafia activity. The Italian mafia has been-'' I turn off the TV.
3 weeks he's been gone. 3 fucking weeks. I don't know if he's alive, I don't even know if my best friend is still alive. How can he expect me to continue living like this?
I finish making the hot chocolate, then turn back to the vampire diaries. That is literally what my life consumes of right now. Hot chocolate, snacks and the vampire diaries.
Normally I would love to be able to live like this but with Valerio and Lily gone? Stress is racing through my body every second of the day.
Another episode finishes and I get bored of rewatching it so im about to go back up to my room, when I hear something.
Something that sounds a lot like keys being used.
I gave everyone the day off today so no one should be coming in. I sit up in an instant. making my way to the front door where the sound is coming from.
I hide behind the corner peaking to see if anyones there.
The door opens, slowly.
And there he is, there he fucking is.
But he doesn't look well at all. His hair is longer and he isn't freshly shaved like normal, his clothes are dirty and hes completely covered in scars and bruises.
He looks back, opening the door wider, like hes waiting for someone else.
I almost fall back, slamming a palm over my mouth in utter shock. Blood races through me and I think i'm about too faint.
''Mom?.."
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